{"id":45,"date":"2017-03-29T23:42:13","date_gmt":"2017-03-30T04:42:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.gallopingcow.net\/?p=45"},"modified":"2017-03-30T08:10:20","modified_gmt":"2017-03-30T13:10:20","slug":"hey-google-tell-me-about-my-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gallopingcow.net\/index.php\/2017\/03\/29\/hey-google-tell-me-about-my-day\/","title":{"rendered":"Hey Google, tell me about my day."},"content":{"rendered":"

On the way to work this morning, I passed a guy on an ill-fitting bicycle that looked like he rode it straight out of a game of Grand Theft Auto, windbreaker and all. I’m talking about one\u00a0of the older games, not GTA5 Online. I say that because he didn’t have bags of money raining down on him as he rode around giving a piggyback ride to a guy with a green mohawk. You see, that was a joke, because GTA5 Online is broken from all the “hackers” and cheaters. I’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your waitress.<\/p>\n

This evening, in a perfect example of my inability to complete simple tasks without getting distracted, I set out to repair a leaky flapper valve in one of my toilet tanks. After a couple hours, I found I had recovered and cleaned up a lost herb planter from my garage and planted a stalk of celery to grow in my windowsill.
\n
\nIt wasn’t until I returned to find the toilet in a state of disrepair that I realized what I had done. There is no help for me. Save yourself.<\/p>\n

Otherwise, today can easily fade away in time, completely forgotten.<\/p>\n

Alexa, goodnight.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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