Author: gallopingcow

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The C-Words

Randy texted on my way in that he would be a couple hours late after last night’s board meeting. Jimmy and I were basically the only two around all day, except for a brief appearance by Jay. Several others were out, but things were still bound to get exciting.

Anita knocked on the door a couple times after Maggie’s and Randy’s phones rang. Sonya in HR was trying to reach us, and was upset that we weren’t at her whim. Anita asked me to call her, and I wished I had recorded the conversation, because she immediately became snotty with me. I killed her with kindness, but just like last time, she hung up on me and basically said somebody was on their way to resolve the issue in person.

Not long after that, Randy did show up with Jacob, and I relayed the story in an emailed record of conversation. I got the feeling that Jacob was over her shenanigans as well. After that, things got super quiet again for the rest of the day. Summer called in the early afternoon to say that her biopsy results came back positive for ductal carcinoma, which sounded like the best case scenario for the threat of cancer. I reassured her the best I could, but she was obviously bothered.

I took a late lunch and ran through Rally’s for a pretty good Super Loaded Buford. The fries were hot and fresh enough to melt away my worries for the amount of time it took me to scarf them down. Randy was somewhere else for most of the afternoon, but came back in time to see that we didn’t leave at three.

When we did leave, I headed across town to check if the Target in West Little Rock had a Samsung The Frame TV on clearance. They did actually have one in stock, but it was still priced more than twice what I was willing to pay, so I had to walk away. While I was there, I guess I got hot on top of being a bit amped up, because my heart rate skyrocketed and I started to get a bit dizzy again. I chewed a fragment of a clonidine I had in my pocket, and it either helped or I just managed to calm myself down enough that it didn’t become an issue.

I headed back across town to Franklin’s Charging to get some juice before Mitch finished with work. As I pulled in, a guy asked me to slide over into another spot to try a different charger. He ended up being the owner, by the name of Jeff. He talked to me for the entirety of my visit, and seemed a proper EV nerd. As we were chatting, another guy pulled up next to me to charge his F150 Lightning. He was John, from AEV Solar, and the two of them continued the conversation as I mostly leaned back and listened. It was neat to hear a bit of Jeff’s journey in growing his business.

I eventually made it to Mitch’s hotel and waited for him to finish uploading some photos from the workday. Then by chance we were able to meet Blake and his friend Alyssa at Southern Tail, where we initially took drinks out to a picnic table at the edge of the property, but later found a table at the patio. We had a good time catching up, but it was definitely more rowdy than last time. We left as it just started to get dark, and I made my way home to the girls.

It rained a bit on the drive, but it was otherwise uneventful. The girls were chatting in the bedroom, so I laid with them for a bit before Eaddie went back to her room, and then it was a quick wind down to bed.

I’d like to say that it’s been real, but it’s been fake as hell.

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Passenger

I got out a little late this morning and was pretty jittery right out of the gate, so I just let the car do its thing. I got into the parking lot and only Gary was there, so I turned around and went to McDonald’s for a steak, egg, and cheese bagel before going in. It was a pretty slow start from there, and I spent all day trying to get back into whatever I was doing on Tuesday, but mostly accomplished imaging two different laptops for Randy to take to the girls in public relations.

Charles and I rode with Randy to Larry’s for lunch. I wasn’t very hungry, and actually felt a little sick to the stomach, but I figured it would be good to get out. Jay met us there, but only ate a tiny salad for the same price. Charles was yapping all day long, so I just sat back and tried to ignore the shakes.

The afternoon was really quiet with the lights out and not a lot of traffic. I thought I’d be staying late to hang out with Mitch since he was back in town, but he texted a little after quitting time that he had too much to do tonight, so I headed home.

I got home through a couple short blips of rain. Summer put off making tacos, which I thought was an odd choice after I had Mexican twice yesterday – once with her. I ran the dog, then came home to finish my Taco Bueno leftovers, not because I was terribly hungry, but because I figured I needed to finish it before she made more tacos.

We wrapped up the evening pretty early, so I took the opportunity to try for some extra sleep.

You love how I suffocate.

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Surreality

Summer had her biopsy at Conway Regional this morning, so I actually got to sleep in for about an hour before we got up to go. We drove separately because we assumed I would be going to work afterward, but the whole procedure ended up taking a lot longer than we expected. We didn’t have to wait terribly long, but the ultrasound found something other than what the previous mammogram found, so the nurse used the ultrasound twice, then ended up doing another mammogram before they finally did a stereographic biopsy. I got to sit through the ultrasounds, but then waited in the tiny dressing room while they did the rest.

By the time we were done, I decided to take the whole day off. Summer headed home for her therapy, and I looked around Conway for some brunch before we’d eventually meet up again for lunch. I headed towards Hardee’s, but then stopped at Taco Bueno when I realized they were open at 10. I thought maybe they had breakfast, but they didn’t, so I got a platter and ate the crunchy bits that wouldn’t get gross over time. It was nostalgic, and exactly how I remembered it, and I think I decided that I missed it. If nothing else, it was cheaper than some other similar options.

I headed home and stopped at AT&T to kill some time while Summer finished up at therapy. I talked to Kevin and Nicole for a bit before they sent me to the back office to find Kevin and David. We chatted for a while since he was having lunch, and then I met Summer at La Huerta for our own lunch. Eaddie and Eli were there, so we chatted with them on their way out. My taco salad was pretty small, but I didn’t need much after brunch, and she liked her lunch fajitas. Food in Russellville is so much cheaper than it is in Little Rock, and it’s not okay.

After lunch, we went to Lowe’s to pick up an order Summer had for work, and then we went straight home. We laid on the couch for a bit, but then both ended up taking a nap for a couple hours. I had been highly anxious and jittery pretty much all morning, and the day felt very surreal to me since we had a busy morning and then nothing in the afternoon. The summer heat was coming, and we were both just tired. The nap kind of made me feel worse overall, but I think we both needed the rest.

I eventually got up to run Muad’Dib when it cooled down a little bit. He was expectedly slow for an evening in the upper 80s, and we had to skip a block to avoid some other people walking a couple of dogs. We made it home about half a mile short, but he was happy to get a semi-grilled hot dog when we got home.

I took out the trash and recycling, and then Summer and I laid on the couch for a while. I started something on Netflix, but ended up stopping it to try and talk to her for a bit because she was feeling off emotionally, and not just physically from the biopsy. We didn’t get much out, other than the same old stuff she’s feeling from work, but she did consider that her antidepressants may be suppressing some other things.

I put her to bed to finish up my own evening, but then Dad called and asked to borrow a carpet cleaner. He spilled his dinner and needed a way to clean it up, so he stopped by to borrow our handheld carpet cleaner. I finished up just as Eaddie got home from a long day out and visiting her father, and then it was off to bed a little early.

Indispuesta

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Board Out of My Mind

I got in early again today and fought my task sequence some more. I was a little lost in priorities, but nothing new there. I feel like I lose everything I’ve learned at the end of the day, then have to start fresh every morning.

I met Kyle and Randy at Skinny J’s for their chicken strip basket special. Then I was hit with the afternoon jitters and got super anxious for the rest of the day. I don’t know if it’s medication or my brain, but I just felt a bit panicked all afternoon. It got better as quitting time approached, but then got a little worse again on the drive home.

Eaddie was to be recognized with other bandmates at the school board meeting, so I ran in to change and then went to the high school with Summer. We had to wait a few minutes, but then we herded everyone into a packed board room to hear their names called, then left.

Summer and I went home where she finished cooking chicken and veggies for dinner. Then I took Muad’Dib out for a run while Summer dropped into bed super early. Eaddie and Eli came over later and ate in front of the TV, and I went to bed myself.

Won’t let these time zones get to me.

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Eat Glass

I hardly slept a wink last night from tossing and turning. Any time I did manage to fall asleep for a few minutes, I’d wake up again from strange dreams. I somehow managed to get to Little Rock early enough that I decided to stop at McDonald’s for a McMuffin, and it was downhill from there. The guys socialized on the other side of the wall while I tried to catch up on emails, but when Jim finally got going at the high school, he reported that imaging was still broken, or possibly broken again after whatever Randy did last week.

I fought that all day, only taking a break to pick up some Buffalo Wild Wings to split with Maggie. That was a bit of a drive out, but it was one of the better deals and cheaper ways to eat for sure. I learned that you could have your fries tossed in whatever dry rub you like, but somewhere along the way I picked up a shard of glass that turned to grit when I bit into it. I was able to fish out a larger piece and spit out the rest, and after a phone call, I emailed a picture to the manager.

The end of the day arrived, again without resolution. I started to get a bit twitchy, but made it home to sit on the porch with Summer for a bit. Then I took Muad’Dib out for a run and came home to finish up the leftover pork chop from the other day, since the kids ate the two steaks we had from yesterday. Summer cleaned up, and then we sat on the couch and watched another stand-up special before bed.

Shudder to Think

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Back to Bassics – Mother’s Day

I woke up today and tried to choose joy, or at least keep myself hyped up enough to get the house in order for guests. Summer got up for some coffee and went to the gym, and I blasted some music throughout the house and got to cleaning. Eaddie eventually got up and left for church, and I had to prep the grill for some twice-smoked potatoes, asparagus, and New York strip steaks for the family.

Summer got home and I tried to accept a minimal amount of help from her, but she did lend a hand a few times. The grill was stubborn to get going again, but after a few starter cubes it finally picked up some heat. I smoked the potatoes for about an hour at 400º and then dropped them to about 225º while I took a shower. Then I smoked the steaks at 200º for about an hour before they got a little hotter than I intended. I pulled them off to rest and then cranked the heat up to 700º to cook the asparagus before throwing the steaks back on to sear.

Julie and Kevin showed up first, but Mom and Dad weren’t terribly late. I was in a rush to get everyone eating though, since I knew the steaks didn’t take on very much heat from the sear and would likely be a little cool to eat. Julie brought a salad and Dad brought a pumpkin cake. I thought my steak was pretty tough, but it wasn’t bad. It was by far the best I had cooked for them though. I failed to replicate the greatness of what I grilled for Noah and Michael a couple months ago.

After we ate, people started griping at me about still having things at the old house. I’ve been paralysed for a number of reasons that ultimately don’t matter, and I need to get it done. Then somehow we got onto the topic of money/rent/equity again, and for as hard as I’ve tried to just let it all go at a loss, they just kept wanting to dig in more like I’ve just always been in the wrong. Somehow, Julie said she had missed the singular point that I had ever made during every single argument we’ve ever had about it, and didn’t realize I was of the understanding that I was building equity. Mom kept asking to show her the paperwork where we officially agreed to anything at all. I ultimately had to just close my eyes and concentrate on breathing until it passed.

Once everyone left, I pushed Summer out of the kitchen because she was trying to clean up. Then I took Muad’Dib out for a long run and brushed him out a bunch at the basin before we circled around and made it home. He must have been tired from all the scraps, because he didn’t want to run much. Once we got home, I finished doing the dishes and then cleaned up everything outside before winding down for bed.

I’m sure it’s nothing but some heartburn, baby.

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Run Like Yell

We got up early for Summer’s run in Dardanelle this morning. We wanted to take Muad’Dib, but Summer wasn’t very proactive when we were trying to load things up to go, so I ended up forgetting my OneWheel. We got downtown and I started to just hang out with her, but I decided I’d try to run home and get it quickly so I could be back in time to watch the race. Unfortunately I got back over the bridge just in time to be stuck in traffic as they closed the road. I had no idea they would be running the race in that direction.

Once I got back downtown, I took Muad’Dib from Brian and a bunch of kids who had been babysitting him. Evidently Summer told them his name was Paul, because when I called him back to me, Brian said something along the lines of, “ah, now ‘Paul’ makes sense.” We raced after the runners and I felt really bad for being so late. We did encounter Summer after she was already on her way back from the turnaround, but we kept going. Most everyone seemed excited to see us, but I think I did get some glares, and one lady made the comment that I shouldn’t be doing that during a race.

On the way back, the same lady made another comment, and then immediately after that, Muad’Dib went rogue and brushed up against the back of another lady’s legs, who freaked out while she was running at full speed. I ended up moving to the next block to get back downtown, since I didn’t want any more grief or to cause any more trouble. I guess next time we’ll just bum around in other areas.

Summer finished the race before we made it back, and then I took Muad’Dib down to the river to try and clean up from the mud puddle he used to cool down. Summer made third in her age division, so she got another little pin, and then we headed home.

We had plans to go out for breakfast, but Summer didn’t feel well and had to soak in the tub for a while. Once she made it out, we ended up going to New China for lunch instead. Then we came home and started to doze off on the couch for a while. I woke up gasping for air multiple times, but didn’t make myself get up until much later, which hurt a bit.

Summer wanted to go to the Tech graduation for some of her employees, so I ran Muad’Dib over to my parents’ house to see if Mom wanted me to grill steaks for Mother’s Day. Then Summer and I went to graduation while Eaddie and Eli went out for cap and gown pictures with Dad. Summer got lots of pictures, and then we found the graduates outside once they were done.

The drive home was a little tense because for some reason Summer didn’t expect that I’d still be having a pretty hard time in general. She pouted, but I pushed through a trip to the Neighborhood Market anyway, to get everything we needed for grilling. The kids were watching TV when we got home, so we went to the bedroom and watched Neal Brennan: Crazy Good, a stand-up special until she crashed from her long day.

Normally I prefer my cookies to be a little less ambiguous.

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Pieman, Pieman

I got out a bit late this morning, but it didn’t matter. I spent the whole day poking around with my task sequences. I also started my escitalopram, I suggested a place called “It’s Time to Eat” for lunch, but was basically shot down. I thought I might skip, but then Randy wandered back toward my area and asked if I wanted to go to Taco Bell. Maggie overheard and wanted to go, so we all loaded up. As Randy was pulling out of the parking lot, he proposed Shotgun Dan’s. Nobody objected, so we met Kyle there.

The salad and pizza were both good. I’m always astounded at how much they mound the toppings on their pizza. Their lunch special for a seven-inch pizza and a small salad is easily one of the best deals you can get in Little Rock for lunch.

The afternoon was relatively quiet and short. I stopped at the liquor store in Morrilton, and then again in Blackwell because they didn’t have any larger bottles of pure grain alcohol, which is the cheapest way to wherever you’re going. I got home with a stomach ache that took some time to resolve, and then Summer got home from work and hung out while I took Muad’Dib out for a run.

We headed toward Casey’s for a free slush and ran into Mom at a stop sign on Phoenix. Then we stopped at Ridgewood Brothers where we ran into Grant while he was taking a smoke break out back. He ran in to get some meat for Muad’Dib, which he promptly gobbled down. Then we got to Casey’s and I got my slush. I set it down on top of the propane tank cage while I unhooked Muad’Dib, and forgot to pick it back up when we left, so we had to circle around to retrieve it.

We came back a slightly different way, but encountered the same group of people taking photos at the tiny tennis court by the bike trail. Muad’Dib took a bath in the basin creek, and then we stopped to visit with Dad for a while before we made it home.

Summer was on the couch, so I laid with her for a bit as she cried a bit about how nervous she was for her biopsy. I hate that I made any of this time any more stressful, but I guess the alternative could have been even more messy. We talked for a bit before Eaddie got home, and Summer went to bed while I went out back to chat with Eaddie and Muad’Dib for a while. Summer had another race in the morning, so I made myself a Dark and Stormy and got to bed as quickly as I could.

happy anniversary

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Irreason

My days are creeping back and I’m arriving at work just a little bit earlier every day. I did fairly well in the morning, and finally started tinkering with TFTP block and window sizes to troubleshoot my slow boot image issue at the office. Wouldn’t you know, I fixed it on my first try. I was able to test multiple iterations of my task sequence the rest of the day.

Maggie and I rode with Randy to Gadwall’s for lunch, and I had some fairly disappointing nachos. I did like the cheese dip though. I think Maggie said it was Mexico Chiquito, but then she also said that was another restaurant, but I thought it tasted a bit like Stoby’s.

I slowly lost myself in the afternoon. I got home and ran Muad’Dib to Walgreens to pick up my escitalopram while Summer finished making a pork chop dinner. He did great on the run, and after dropping my meds off at home, we ran an abridged version of our normal route to see Dad. Eaddie was home and we ate when we got back to the house. Then we all had to go to the high school arena for the band awards.

The awards took a while, because they read off every single activity in which each senior participated. Eli had a super long list. Eaddie’s was long, but not long enough to beat his. She did get one of the three big awards at the end though, which was exciting for her. Eaddie stayed out, so Summer and I went to wash my car and then headed home to go to bed.

happy birthday

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The Patriarchy

I got to work pretty early this morning after a reasonably focused and optimistic drive in, but I could feel myself slipping pretty early. I slunk down in the back and accomplished one task by accident, and there was hardly a soul around to pat me on the back for it. I plowed right through into the afternoon, but decided to get up to take a break for a Big Mac not long before quitting time. I ended up staying a little bit late anyway just to kill some time before I could meet up with Mitch, who was in town for work.

I made it over to his hotel and found a free charger at the Tropical Smoothie where I waited for him to get off work. Then we drove across town toward Southern Tail Brewing, stopping first at Stone’s Throw Brewing for a quick flight and to see if one of Mitch’s old friends was working. We finished there and got to the restaurant where service was friendly, but a bit slow. Blake showed up out of nowhere, walking straight onto the patio from the street, and the three of us had a great time trauma dumping and catching up.

I felt a little bad to monopolize the time Mitch had in the state, but Blake and I never knew each other very well back in school, so we really are kind of connecting for the first time. We had some great laughs, and some interesting, yet delicious salmon fish and chips.

Mitch went with Blake after that since I had to head home for bed. It was great catching up, and I’ll have to make more of an effort to keep up with Blake in the near future since he lives so close to my office. I got home and got to witness my matrix headlights doing their partial dimming, which was cool, but a little anticlimactic. The girls had cleaned up house a bit and were ready for bed, so I wasted no time to get there myself.

Three Male Incomes