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The Beginning of the End

I woke up surprisingly sober and full of positive energy after a painfully unrested night. I tried to rub some of that positivity off on Summer, but she hardly said a word to me until our kiss goodbye. We got to work and I felt pretty good all morning. I sat down with Teisha and talked to her for a long time about our history and what was going on. She was as supportive as possible, and then we went upstairs to as much productivity as we could muster.

Grant met me at Ortega’s for the all-you-can-eat lunch, and he was super hyped as always. I hate that we’re bonding over trauma, but he’s been an incredible pillar of support. We ate, and then I gave him a super quick walk-through of our office before he headed back to the restaurant.

The afternoon dragged on much more after Summer ignored my messages all day. I was spent by the end of it, and we walked out a few minutes early just to get to the house and try to keep the momentum up. It looked like Summer was still out looking for places to live, but they both showed up at the house right after we got there.

I got them to sit down with me in the living room to discuss the urgency of the whole situation. Summer is just over it, and is ready to explore solo life to find out who she is without anyone else there, and she wants no safety net. Eaddie repeated her concern that we’re just incompatible, and feels like we’d be better off apart. There’s still a lot of love, but too much negativity to continue moving forward, and they want a fresh start. They did agree to slow their hastiness so we could go over financials and find them a nice place to live so they don’t just settle out of a desire to leave.

I continued cleaning the kitchen, but it was a struggle after that. I’ve just never been big on waste. I did some laundry and cleaned the guest room so I could sleep there. It looks like I have nowhere to go, so the hunt begins.

Always at the whim.

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Apart

I left work when I saw Summer was home early. We got back to town just as she and Eaddie were leaving the house, but they pulled over at Kroger so I could talk to them.

I ended up at Ridgewood to see if Grant was there. I knew he was safe. I called, and he wasn’t there, but he came in from home and just hugged me. We came back to the house and talked for a long time. I realized I forgot my eyeglasses there, so he called someone to have them put them in the office for me.

The girls got home and I talked to Summer briefly. Grant left to have his family time, and I went with Summer to her vein appointment. Then we went to Bona Dea to walk with Muad’dib. Then we went to the house to get a coupon to go to Colton’s for a late lunch.

Neither of us ate much of our food. We boxed up the rest and came back to the house where she bathed for a while and I moved things out of the kitchen. We eventually talked for a bit, but it was for nothing.

Now we unravel the knot with haste and move along.

Decades.

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Death Spiral

I got up reasonably early again today, expecting to do some more cleaning and furniture assembly, but boy was I wrong. I felt pretty ignored all day. The girls went to the gym together, so I finished the leftover turkey bean soup and took a bath. Summer barely approached me when they got back, and didn’t acknowledge my response when she asked what was wrong, so I knew something was up.

She warmed up some pasta, but I didn’t end up eating with them. Mom had said she was making phở at some point, so I had been holding out for that. Eaddie left and I finally pinned Summer down to figure out what was going on. She acknowledged the same death spiral I had been feeling for the past few years. We talked for a bit, but it was mostly emotionless by that point.

I took Muad’Dib for a brisk walk to my parents’ house where Dad and Nova were already halfway through their soup. Mom made mine and I ate, and then we walked back to the house. I felt like our conversation after that was a little less doom and gloom, but we still don’t have anything actionable.

The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.

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Flat Packed

Summer had a lot of trouble sleeping last night and I found her on the couch in the middle of the night. I got up fairly early and took Muad’Dib with me to Hardee’s to pick up some breakfast since they owed me a sandwich from the day before. A little later, Summer had to take care of some stuff for work, so I took her to Lowe’s where I hung outside with Muad’Dib while she went in to pick up an order. Then we stopped by the wash and I vacuumed my car while she took care of a personnel issue.

I got a fire started again when we got back, and started putting together a piece of furniture I got from Vine. Mom made bún thang, but Summer didn’t feel well and wasn’t hungry, so I went over by myself to eat. I finished up the furniture when I made it back, and then had a late shower before Summer eventually started making a seafood Alfredo dinner.

The kids got home and we ate, then played some Phase 10 Tiles before they wanted to move to the living room to watch Breaking Bad. I put together another piece of furniture that felt super cheap, and they ultimately took up more space than the boxes they came in, but it felt good to get something done and ready to be put to use, or even sold off if we decided not to keep it.

You can’t break some eggs without making an omelet.

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Bummer Breakfast Biscuit

I finally got out early enough to go to Hardee’s for breakfast this morning, but they gave me the wrong item and I ended up getting a bit of a stomach ache from it. After that, it was pretty hard to focus all day long.

Joel brought Dexter today, and Muad’Dib immediately tried to go steal his toys one at a time. Then he got snippy with me when I tried to return them, and I had to make him sit in the floor next to me as punishment.

I went to Wendys for lunch a bit earlier than I’ve been going all week, and that made for a super long afternoon that I thought would never end. Charles had texted me while I was eating because they had computer trouble in the mix room, so I met him up there when I got back. I don’t know who does what with each computer up there, so all I could do was reset the password to get them in again.

When quitting time finally showed up, we headed to the house and I chopped some more wood for another fire. Summer got there and went for a bath before we ate some leftover bean soup. Then I put on Tomorrowland for about fifteen minutes before she walked away. I finished the night flipping through YouTube and finally went to bed late.

Bummer everything.

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Fired up for Nothing

I tried again to get out of the house in time for a Hardee’s breakfast, but settled for Burger King instead. It wasn’t bad, but I still miss Hardee’s biscuits. We got to work and immediately started getting emails about signatures that were mostly due to not following my very simple and thorough instructions. I tinkered with that for a while, and then kept busy with a few other new things. I was so engaged that we actually took lunch nearly an hour late. I just picked up some Subway and we sat in the office to eat and work.

The afternoon was short after that, though it surprisingly didn’t go by particularly fast. I started to climb up into the ceiling and immediately encountered some huge rat poop, so without a proper ladder, I immediately gave up on relocating the hallway access point.

We eventually made it back to an empty house, and I decided to chop some wood and start a fire. As I walked outside, Neal called for some computer advise. It was a typical goofy situation with no real way to provide valuable feedback, so I just chopped wood while talking to him through my earbuds. There were a couple logs that split super easily, and a couple more that I struggled with before setting aside.

The fire caught fairly easily with my cheater log, but it was a while before Summer got home. I got the TV ambilight set back up, and when she finally had her shower, I put on Mickey 17. She was completely disinterested, so we sat and drank until she went to bed. Then I finished the movie by myself before going to bed.

Sauce is the true litmus test of civilization.

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Shop Chop

I really wanted to stop for breakfast this morning, but we got out late after I couldn’t find Muad’Dib’s collar. I later learned that Eaddie took it off of him in the night because he kept shaking with it on, and I guess it bothered her. We squeezed in and I got right to work on email signatures. I spent a lot of time formatting and organizing staff photos, but CodeTwo made it as easy as possible. I didn’t love working in Affinity for photo editing, but I’m sure it’d be great with some experience.

When lunch time came around, I queued up a few places depending on the weather. It ended up being pretty cold and windy, so we went to Wendy’s for a burger that was twice the price for something easily twice as good. I had an anxiety attack right in the middle of it, but it came and went without too much of a daze afterward.

The afternoon was more of the same, to the point that my mouse hand ached from all the repetition. I finally sent an email to the sales folks with instructions on how to remove their own device-set signatures, and then got everyone that was still in the office fixed up before I left.

When we got to the house, the kids were in the living room while Summer was having a bath. I took Muad’Dib for a walk, and he seems to know that we always go straight to my parents’ house when I’m on foot. Mom was in the middle of making bánh u̕ớt, so we stayed for dinner before walking back to the house. He took me down Ridgewood this time, and then we laid down with Summer as she fell asleep to WandaVision.

I still had to enable my work email signatures, and Jon apparently didn’t like the photo that was in the favorites folder, so I had to edit that as well. It didn’t take too long, and then I went to bed early.

Affinity for carpal tunnel.

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Signed, Sealed, Delivered

We had a staff meeting this morning and somebody had mentioned Muad’Dib last time, so I thought I’d give him a shot at hanging out today. He did not like the golden bust statue of Bruce, and barked at it a few times before everyone settled into the meeting room. I had to hang onto his collar for a while because he kept wanting to wander and see everyone, but he eventually settled down a bit. Evidently we had a pretty serious injury in the plant, but they said he’d probably be back in a couple of days. Then Shane pressed me about the email signatures, so I knew I had to focus on that today. I didn’t feel great about the little I had to share for my part, but after the meeting I got to work.

I knew there were some caveats about inserting the signature in the mail flow rules, so I investigated a trial for CodeTwo. They had some extra features, and Shane didn’t even blink when I said it was like $1.50 per user, so I spent most of my time cleaning up the directory and cropping portraits. Time got away from me a little bit and we went to lunch late. I had my one perfect round of items at Ortega’s and then headed back to work.

The afternoon got away from me as well, but by the end of it I had a working demo for a signature. I’ll have the sales team done tomorrow. We walked out a couple minutes late and made it home where Summer was cleaning up after her second procedure this afternoon. I guess someone told her she didn’t have to keep her leg wrapped this time, so she took both of them off without a second thought. She didn’t even like the compression leggings I had gotten her, so she was just hanging out.

Muad’Dib and I went on an acoustic walk in the dark, visited my parents, and then I let him lead me back to the house. We didn’t do all of our normal route, but we got quite a bit done. I cleaned up a little and then laid down on the couch to watch some YouTube with Summer before bed.

A different kind of reimage.

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Mortality

I got out a hair earlier this morning and considered stopping at Hardee’s, but just headed straight to work instead. I felt a little bit odd for much of the day, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on why. I begrudgingly tinkered with Intune and the Android tablets and phone I had, and made minimal progress. All roads continued to lead back to certificate-based authentication.

We took a break to go to Sonic for lunch, and a guy in a stall next to the picnic tables chatted with me about Muad’Dib. He was a good boy who got lots of tots. The Smasher was actually pretty good, too.

The afternoon crept by, and I felt worse and then better until quitting time. I had brought my Onewheel to ship for RMA service, so I asked Summer if she wanted to walk with us in the evening instead. She started her vericose vein procedure in the afternoon, and needed to walk on it a bit. By the time we got to the house, she had dinner about ready, so we ate instead.

Eaddie sat down to eat with us and it was a good meal. Eli showed up a little later for some, but then went home for second dinner. I had stopped by the Neighborhood Market on the way home to try and return some poor quality beef jerky, but was turned away because I was outside the return window, so I called the number on the packaging instead. It took a little while, but a nice lady said she would send a giftcard to reimburse me. Then I moved to the couch across from Summer and put on Ricky Gervais’s new special on Netflix. I didn’t think it was terribly funny, but watched it through before moving on to some MKBHD before bed.

The meatbags are failing.

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Horse Humpin, Wing Stoppin, Dog Shoppin Day

I made myself a fancy capuccino today before realizing the milk was curdled, so I threw that out and then had a cup of black instead. The girls got up and watched TV, and I cleaned up around the house. I cooked my turkey beans some more and added a block of frozen broth from before. That helped quite a bit, and though we didn’t actually plan to have a meal of it yet, Summer and I shared a small cup because it was tasty. Sometime in the afternoon, a deep squat exercise machine I scored on Vine showed up, and I put it together for Summer. She actually seemed pleased with it, so I put it together for her.

Later in the evening, she wanted to go to Walmart. Eaddie had left, so we took Muad’Dib along for the ride. We went by the wash first so she could print something. Then we went to the newly opened Wingstop to check things out. They were barely more than a food truck in a sliver of a storefront next to McAlister’s. Completely cashless, and basically just pumping out mobile orders. We ate there, and it was pretty good, but very salty. I still think Zaxby’s is the best in town.

Muad’Dib had been in the car for a little while by then, so we took him to PetSmart to walk around and pick up some treats. Then we went to Walmart so Summer could get some cross stitch thread. Finally we got back to the house and I took Muad’Dib out for a run.

My parents had gone to Fort Smith, but were on the way back. I thought we’d circle around a bit and meet up with them, but my board died just as we made a loop, so I limped it home and boxed it up to ship back to Futuremotion for like the fourth time. I sat on the couch with Summer and flipped through some YouTube until she got up for bed. Eaddie came home late, and they chatted for a little bit as I got ready for bed myself.

Not half bad.