Tag: anger management

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Floating the River

The teachers didn’t show up until later today because they had open house in the evening, which meant there was no breakfast to be had. I had a Red Bull to pep myself up, and after a little while I had to meet Blake and Courtney to teach her how to edit the website. I didn’t really have much to say about that, but tried to point them in a direction of posting to the website first, and social media second.

I think Kim worked on carts for a little bit, but I spent the rest of the morning messing with something else. Then we had Ridgewood Brothers for lunch, which was awesome because they didn’t just have pork. They brought brisket and turkey, as well as some potato salad, baked beans, and an assortment of desserts. It really was too much, but it was awesome.

Kim and I eventually made it down to the elementary to try and close out some work orders, but herding her around was a little like trying to herd a cat. Anything would catch her attention. At one point, she was literally playing with a basket of toys in the counselor’s office. Then I learned that the open wireless network wasn’t even split off to its own VLAN. Everything is exposed, and I’ve got teachers fussing because their work orders haven’t been addressed yet.

I ended up staying quite late to pen an email that I didn’t even send because Ben called on his way home. We chatted for a little while, and then I set up some remote software so I could work from home. It just didn’t seem worthwhile to go in on Friday when nobody else would be there.

I charged up and dawdled around at home for a while before making it up to Summer’s. She was supposed to get a new air conditioner, but evidently that didn’t happen. The house was cool from all the rain, though Summer kept complaining about being hot. I never even saw Eaddie until she came out of her room super late to find some food. I felt pretty cranky, so I avoided sleep for a couple hours before going to bed.

Elective Idiocy

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The Crocodile in the Room

I switched back to five day weeks today, just because I assumed I was supposed to. I took the opportunity to sleep in just a few short minutes, but then still had to get to work before eight. I didn’t have enough time to stop for coffee, but luckily they had breakfast for us with some coffee and an assortment of other drinks as well. I ate in the cafeteria by myself with my laptop, though I could have just as easily taken it to my office. Then I took my things to the auditorium where I ended up having to loan my laptop to the superintendent and anyone else that wanted to present, because the ancient laptop they had for the stage was just a piece of junk.

I was on stage to help for just a bit, and then spent the rest of his speech in the sound booth upstairs. I came down afterward and spent some time in my office through lunch, when they brought an assortment of Subway sandwiches. They weren’t bad, especially for free.

Blake came and prompted me after lunch so I could go present after him. I don’t know if anyone really expected me to have a presentation ready, but I did my best to put one together in a very short period of time. I thought I could go into it confidently, but of course I started melting as soon as I was on the spot. It actually went reasonably well, with teachers nodding in approval as I called the district out for their lack of accountability when handling students with devices. I tried to signal that administration would have our backs in the future, specifically so it would be solely on them if the failings continued into my watch.

The afternoon was a bit more loose, and Kim disappeared for a while. I’ve been disappointed that she’s just been waiting for me to start wiring carts, but it’s on me for not leading by example already. There’s just so much that she can’t do, and yet she’s waiting for me to help with the things she should be able to do.

I still left a little late, but not much over a full day. I went home and fixed my garage door sensor, which broke off of the wall when I manually opened the door yesterday. Luckily I found the two sharp screws in the driveway and under my tire, not having punctured anything. As soon as that was back together, I headed up to Summer’s where she and Eaddie had dinner waiting.

Summer has been trying to use up some of the food we’ve had in the freezer for a long time, and this time she boiled a bunch of chicken thighs for tacos. I tried to be positive, but was immediately disgusted by the sight and the taste of it all. I had two tacos and then tried to stop, but gave in to one more after feeling angry and hungry. After all of the cooking shows, the best she could do was boil chicken, and then throw out the liquid that would have actually made decent broth. I took a moment to cool down, and then talked to her about it afterward. I appreciated the gesture, but grew tired of the spectacular failures.

Later on, Eaddie and I went to Freddy’s to pick up some free custard for National Frozen Custard Day. I was a little skittish at first to place three free orders, but of course none of the minimum wage employees cared enough to even acknowledge our arrival. We scooped up our custards from the freezer and left.

I ate two bites and put the rest away, deathly afraid of what the dairy would do to my insides. The girls wound down quickly, and then we were all off to bed.

…with gently smiling jaws!

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Too Much Milling About

I got up with the girls this morning, but then napped for a little bit longer before going home to shower. I planned to take some Ridgewood Brothers BBQ to the mill as a gesture of goodwill since I still hadn’t actually accepted their job offer yet. Gary didn’t answer my call, but then responded to my text to say that they ended up filling the position earlier this week. I was pretty upset, but it wasn’t much of a surprise after all the time I had wasted since the original offer. Part of me thinks I should have just left the school without any qualms, since I had no evidence that the superintendent was actually putting forth any effort to increase my pay. Maybe he has, but he’s certainly not any good at communicating his intent.

Around that time, Eaddie finished at band practice. I told her I was free for lunch, so she came to pick me up and we went to Ridgewood ourselves. She made me get the two meat plate because she wanted a bite of some ribs, so I wasn’t quite as satisfied with my meal as I usually am. Then we went back to my house to get my car, but ended up leaving it there to stay on the charger.

As we left, I noticed she had things strewn all around the car, and my lip balm had been tipped up on its side, leaking out all over the place. Fortunately there was a removable rubber tray and it wasn’t terribly difficult to clean up. I was mostly upset that my lip balm was wasted all because the girls couldn’t pay attention to what the hell they were doing in my car.

When we got back to the house, I sat and played 20 Minutes Till Dawn on my phone. I brought my little 8BitDo controller, which made the game a lot more playable. Summer eventually made it home, but didn’t want to get back out. Eaddie and I went back to Ridgewood to try their pork belly pops and some brickle bars. We were in and out, but then got stopped by a train for several minutes as it went back and forth in front of us.

We loved the porksicles, and the desserts were great too. Then I laid in Summer’s lap while she watched TV, and played more of my new game until bedtime.

I like to think I would have been less happy there anyway.

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Fish and Family

We slept in a little bit today, but the fire alarm went off shortly after I got out of bed. Mom and Dad evacuated, but Julie and I never got to that point. I got dressed and picked up some breakfast to bring back to the room, and then went down for some oatmeal once my parents were ready to eat. We killed a bit of time in our hotel room afterward, and it was all I could do to mask the loud TV with my headphones until we were ready to leave.

Somebody found a different boat tour with a paddleboat instead, and we met everyone there for a 45 minute ride down the river. It wasn’t terribly hot out, and we saw a bald eagle in a tree on the edge of the water. When we finished the tour, we headed straight to Two Brothers Roundhouse for a distillery tour and tasting.

By the time we got there, I needed the drinks. It was like competing for oxygen in the car. It was a neat building that used to be a turning station for trains. A couple of the spirits were really good, and after a slightly extended tour with the bar manager, we found a table at the restaurant for an early dinner.

The food was really good, and we had some great conversations. We parted ways with Aunt Diane, Brandan, and Nicolle, and the rest of us went to a downtown area in Geneva for some ice cream at a Kilwins and a brief walk to another chocolate store before we headed back to our cars. We said our goodbyes, and made our way back to the hotel so Julie could get her beauty rest.

I’m still waiting to be impressed by how quickly you can fall asleep and quit bitching at me.

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Dairyère

The inspector texted back last night, so I scheduled the inspection for Wednesday. Summer was stressing a little bit about moving, which didn’t help my own stress levels. It’s a lot of money and a lot of interest with very little buffer if things go wrong, and they always do. I don’t want to go into debt for an even longer amount of time, since it’ll already be years before her student loans are gone. All of those concerns were compounded by the fact that I may just go absolutely crazy trying to cohabitate with them. It’s completely different when I can’t leave to go home somewhere else.

Summer left for a while, and I intended to go home fairly early to try and mow, but Eaddie didn’t get out of bed until Summer got back home. I went home even later, making it back just in time for dinner. Summer made shrimp Alfredo and I went outside to grill the sweet corn I got from the school board meeting. The pasta ended up soupy, and the corn ended up just plain tasteless. Eaddie made some brownies afterward that were pretty good, but I didn’t care much for the peanut butter mix-in.

We wrapped up the evening with some Modern Family. Julie called a couple times to book tickets for Uncle Rich’s funeral, and I ended up getting sick from the Alfredo sauce and little scoop of ice cream. I was in pain for the rest of the evening.

Nothing this year has gone according to any kind of plan.

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Oo-De-lally, Oo-De-lally

Even after getting to bed near three in the morning, I was wide awake before nine. I’m dead all week, and then fine all weekend. I got up and sent a text to Alisha to try and schedule a time to look at the house on Sherwood. They added some pictures of the kitchen, and we were interested enough to have a closer look.

I had a burger for brunch and then went home to clean up before. Then I went back for the girls before meeting my dad and Alisha at the house. Dad went to the house next door at first, which happened to be Kevin’s and his parents’ old house. Alisha’s kids were there running all around the place, but they weren’t too bad. We really liked the quirky layout of the house. The garage was a little small, and the whole lot itself was pretty tiny, but that just meant there was less to mow.

Everything was pretty soggy after the heavy rains, but even before that, the shop out back had a pretty extensive water leak. The ceiling and the floor were both really bad, and particularly squishy in a few places. They had it set up like a little apartment though, and if it were a little larger with a powered garage door, it would have been exactly what I wanted for the motorcycles. Dad also spotted some rotting wood on the fascia and soffit, but it may have been from before the roof was replaced.

We went by my parents’ house for a few minutes after we finished at the house, and then we continued back to Summer’s to start cooking some ribs. I started my smoker tube and got the ribs seasoned to slow smoke, and then Summer left for the gym. Eaddie hung out with me in the dining room after Vicky dropped off some snacks for her. I baked potatoes for dinner, and then we ate a little while after Summer got home.

Sometime after Summer went to bed, Aunt Beth started texting about Autumn, saying they were trying to get her into college, and scolding her for dropping her health insurance because they would have to pay for it. Summer got incredibly frustrated but wouldn’t respond, so I ended up doing it for her. Not one person in that family knows a damn thing about being a parent, and it shows in every single one of the kids they collected. The entire thing is a hot, dysfunctional mess, and we don’t want anything to do with it.

Golly, what a day!

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Undriven

I slept reasonably well last night, but didn’t let myself sleep in too late. Summer went to work and I got up to make a couple ham, egg, and cheese biscuits for Eaddie and myself. I became more and more aggravated as I continued to dig through the refrigerator, unearthing things forgotten and uneaten. I eventually left to shower so I could take Eaddie out to practice driving.

I stopped for a car wash on the way back to get Eaddie, and it seemed like I either got a new chip in the windshield, or the filler popped out of an old chip that had been previously repaired. It was super noticeable because the cracks caught the sunlight, which made me think it was a new crack. I haven’t had very good luck with windshields over the past couple years.

I took Eaddie to the high school so she could drive around. I figured the best way to practice was to have her drive from lot to lot, park, and then walk all the way around the car to see how she did. Doing this repeatedly in different parking spaces would help her learn some spatial awareness, and timing how many times she could park in the hour got her a little more focused on driving instead of parking and talking.

When we finished, I tried to get her to drive us to the DMV so we could upgrade her learner’s license. She got to the Hickey parking lot and then froze, refusing to get into traffic on the main road. That aggravated me because I had just purchased insurance for her, but by then we were in a bit of a rush to complete a task before the DMV closed. We switched positions and I got us there. I figured we should be proactive and get her a “Real ID” which required additional documentation. We raced to Superfast to get Summer, then to the house to get her Social Security card, birth certificate, and a couple utility bills for proof of residency. Then we made it back to the DMV, but we had switched vehicles and I had to run back to Superfast to get Eaddie’s current license.

When I got back to the DMV, Eaddie said they didn’t need any of that documentation because they just got a regular license instead. It didn’t cost any more, and we already had the documentation in hand, so I couldn’t understand why they agreed to get a regular license. The entire race across town was for absolutely nothing, and I felt again like I was the only one doing the thinking for everyone involved. We dropped Summer off back at work, and then Eaddie and I continued on to get some gas before ending up back at their house.

Eaddie was hangry, so she ate a few bites of some leftovers before deciding she didn’t like cold noodles. I finished them, but we ended up not getting back out to practice more driving. We tried dipping more cake pops, but she ended up having to use some new white chocolate, since the milk chocolate froze up on us. When Summer got home, I grilled the last of a couple frozen burgers for them. They ate, and then we watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. I wanted to watch Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but they refused and went to bed. It was late by the time I got everything else cleaned up and wound down anyway, so I just did my best to make it to bed before midnight.

He chose… poorly.

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All of the Thinking

We didn’t get up too early this morning, but as soon as I did, Mom called and wanted me to come shake salt on the steaks for dinner. I tried making the case that it could be done later, but she insisted that I was the only one, and that I should drive across town to do it immediately. I did that and then promptly left so I could complete my own prep work for dinner.

I stopped by the cemetery on the way home to get the tripods that Dad forgot to grab when he got the flower pots last night. Then I went home to shower. Summer had gone to the gym and mentioned possibly going to Walmart by herself to get the things we needed. I suggested we should go together, but then she took the initiative.

When I got to her house, she had a few potatoes soaking in the sink, but not nearly enough for all the people that were coming to dinner. I immediately ran out the door and raced to Walmart to get a bag of potatoes rather than hand picking loose ones, and also got some extra butter just in case. When I got back to the house to start cleaning them, my aggravations were compounded by the fact that she was watching some loud, competitive cooking show on her phone while she was making broccoli salad. I shoved my earbuds in and got to work.

We left the house nearly an hour later than I wanted, because I kept getting pushed back. Eaddie’s friend Eli was at the house and would be joining us for dinner and a swim. I tried my best to rush everyone out the door, and we got to my parents’ house just after everyone else had already arrived. Luckily Dad already had some charcoal started, and the heat of the day got the chimney burning in short order.

My parents bounced around the kitchen as though they had never hosted a large gathering ever before in their lives. Dishes I had probably only ever seen once or twice in my life came out of the cabinets, only to be put back up in favor of disposable ones. Places were set, but then scavenged so everyone could serve themselves buffet-style. It was a cluster that I was almost happy to avoid by sweating in front of a hot grill outside in the humidity.

The one thing we got right was that steaks were the only thing Mom had for me to grill. The charcoal burned out quickly, but I finished the steaks. I got them inside after Dad broiled my twice-baked potatoes, and everyone ate their dinner. Fortunately it wasn’t miserably hot outside, so I joined Summer and the kids by the pool. Then I joined them for a swim after we ate.

Summer was the first one to get out of the pool, followed by Eaddie and then me. Eli was down to float around a little longer, but we did eventually have to get him home, and Eaddie wanted her dessert. We cleaned up outside and then went in for some banana pudding and pumpkin bread. Bác Trân had Radford on the phone when my parents walked out, so he passed the phone to me. I was really happy to catch up with him for a little bit, since I’ve never once had an adult conversation with him in my life. Years of maturity and perspective make all the difference, and it was great getting to share a moment with him. Eventually my parents came back in and took the call. The girls took Eli home while I was on the phone, so they were ready to leave by then.

We wrapped things up and said some partial goodbyes. I planned to be back in the morning before their flight back to Houston. Summer went straight to bed when we got to the house. Eaddie went to her room, and I sat on the couch for a while. I’ll be happy to see next week when my parents can stop overdoing absolutely everything.

Outta the way!

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I Wish the Real World Would Just Stop Hassling Me

I woke up early this morning and headed home to get ready for my interview. I casually made it to Morrilton a bit early and went in to talk with Gary for a little bit. He had planned to take a work truck to show me around the plant, but someone else had taken it. We ended up taking a little side-by-side, but fortunately it wasn’t too hot outside. It was really cool getting to see the industrial process, and I even got to see a full truck being dumped at the start of the process.

We made our way through the whole process, from sorting wood chips to water treatment and recycling. Then we headed back to the office so I could meet Ben and Terry. They brought lunch in from somewhere, and Gary let the three of us eat together and get to know each other a bit. It was a really good time, and we had a lot of laughs. Ben actually reminded me a bit of Ryan with his quirkiness and general curiosity about all things. He was much more talkative though. Terry seemed fun and a little quirky as well. I think we all enjoyed sharing stories.

Since the plant manager wasn’t there to meet with me, I left a little early and made it back to town so I could charge before we headed to Rogers. I stopped to wash my car first, and then I passed Dad as I was heading home. I got changed, and he called to say that Doug had called him over because Bác Vân was breathing, but unresponsive.

I made it to Summer’s house unsure of what we were going to do next. I finally got word that she had a brain bleed, and they expected comfort care and hospice. I had become angry from the moment Dad told me he was called instead of 911, and it only got worse from there. Knowing there was nothing I could do, and being afraid of lashing out, Summer and I headed out of town.

Julie texted while we were driving to say that we had one opportunity to go see her while she was “technically alive,” which is the worst form of alive. I chose instead to keep my last memory of her, which was only a brief hug after I had just discovered the tree branch embedded in the roof of my house. Summer said she spoke to her yesterday and gave her a hug when she stopped by to charge her car, so I felt better about that. I just kept getting angrier and angrier.

We made it to Fayetteville and stopped at Longhorn Steakhouse to eat before the concert. I texted Eaddie to update her on the bad news, and just seconds later I got the text from Dad that Bác Vân had passed.

Dinner was pretty good, but our server was slow and seemed not to be very good at his job. The food tasted like they were overcompensating with butter to flavor absolutely everything, which made every bite pretty greasy. We left there and found our way to the second floor of the parking garage where there was another EV charger. It was cheaper than a Supercharger, so we plugged up and headed to the Walmart Amphitheater.

Matt Nathanson opened, and was a bit more unnecessarily vulgar than I expected, especially for the type of music he played. For having the hit that he did, I kind of expected a little more, but I guess that defines a one-hit-wonder. It took a while for the reset, but then Matchbox Twenty came on and put on an incredible show. They had a weird quarter-sphere on stage with a projector that I assume was inside of it and behind it. Of course everyone stood up as soon as they came out, so the second half of the show was spent leaning against the rail.

My mind and feelings were everywhere, but also a bit numbed out after the constant barrage of bullshit I’ve experienced lately. Even Summer said she finally understood wanting to just sail away from it all. Everyone knows that nothing bad ever happens at sea.

When we left, traffic had us stuck in our parking space in the parking garage for a ridiculously long time. Once we did finally start moving, we were gone in no time, but I guess someone had traffic blocked or directed in a stupid direction. It didn’t used to be this bad. We had to stop in Lowell to charge and use the restroom. I picked up what I assumed was an apple fritter and a drink, and we headed home. Summer tried to sleep, but Autopilot was being really stupid and jerking out of lane changes, and throwing a warning and braking once.

Between Alma and Clarksville, we encountered someone from Washington that was hogging the passing lane and kept varying their speed from 65 to 85. At one point I was passing them in the right lane again when someone else ran up on their bumper. I had enough and sped up to pass them, honking for them to move. They took that to mean that they should run up on my bumper and then try to pass me, but that wasn’t going to happen unless I chose to let them. They ran up on someone else, and I finally hit the brakes to let them fly by me and hopefully go away. Then they pulled up next to a semi and slowed down to about 60 to impede traffic. I ended up calling the state police to try and get them pulled over.

We eventually made it home without incident. I took out my contacts, and then we took the Murano to Summer’s for the evening. We were home super late, so Eaddie was long in bed. Summer went to sleep, and I eventually wrapped up.

You absolutely useless muppet.

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Carpets to Match

I tried going to Taco Bell for a free Breakfast Crunchwrap this morning, but learned as I pulled in that they don’t actually open until eight. Resigned being late, I stopped at McDonald’s for a coffee on the way, and was pleased with how much I liked the caramel. I wasn’t actually that late, and nobody would have noticed anyway. I spent most of the day in my office alone again. The first couple hours were burned talking to Google Admin support. Todd came through for the first time in forever and chatted for a bit, and I had a couple students return four Chromebooks, but otherwise there wasn’t a whole lot going on. I did at least get lunch today.

Near the end of the day, I tracked down a bunch of copy machines, and even went out to the agri building where the outside doors appeared to have been left unlocked by mistake. As I finished up and printed some asset tags, I saw Dad had gone to the house and met with some guys from a restoration service. I thought they’d just be there to look things over, but then I got a picture of a half-empty room with the carpet ripped out.

I headed home at the end of the day, long after everyone else had gone, both from the school and from my home. I had to clean everything out of the other corner of the room, which was the harder part. Summer got back into town and mentioned going home to cry about her day at work, which was frustrating because I had mentioned having to move things at home in order to fix the gaping holes in my roof, ceiling, and bedroom wall.

She turned around and came over, where we shuffled things around the best we could. We took a break for dinner and got Taco John’s to eat at her house where I still had some hot sauce from Taco Villa. Then it was back to my house to finish pulling everything out of the room and two closets. We left things that weren’t touching the floor, so hopefully they have enough room to work. I was really surprised to see that they had ripped carpet out of the hallway. They should have been able to complete the job in just the one room.

Exhausted, frustrated, and still mildly infuriated, we loaded up the twin mattress and box spring to take to the dumpster at Superfast. I drove with the Murano’s hatch open, and we appeared to make it without any damage. Nearly everything has been moved out of one room of the house, and a path has been made to that side of the house. It’s a good of a time as any to get some remodeling done, if I can find anyone to do the work.

I’m really sorry work was hard today, but I have a hole in my roof, and strangers are ripping out my carpet.