Tag: anger management

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Che Cazzo è Una Carbonara

I woke up pretty early this morning for how late I went to sleep, and sat on the couch for a while before going home to clean up. Once everyone was ready for productivity, I suggested lunch before starting on the house. Summer wanted calamari at La Villa, but that sounded awful to me. I tried to let them go themselves so I could get something quicker and get to work on the house, but Summer said they wanted me along, so I came up with some other options, compromising with Pasta Grill as a last option.

I should have just completely passed on the pasta, because just the idea of Italian threw me into a whole mood. I didn’t want a $60 lunch bill. I wanted something quick so we could get to work on the house. Time is running out, and I feel like I’m the only one that’s actually concerned about cleaning anything at that house. The girls are happy to pile their filth on top of the existing filth, and nobody is receptive to the idea of how to keep things tidy.

I made it to the house first, even after stopping by my parents’ house, because for some reason they had to go back to their old house to get the other car. Wasteful. Dad helped me place some wood in the driveway so Summer’s car wouldn’t scrape coming into the garage. Then I went inside to start cleaning carpets.

I had to empty the closet because Summer’s things were in my way. Then I had to take my vacuum home to clean it out, because Summer hadn’t noticed the inch-wide band of hair in the brush, or the fact that the cyclone chamber was completely caked with dust. I took it home and cleaned it thoroughly before coming back to the new house to vacuum. Afterward I shampooed the carpet in the dark because the light was blocked for over half of the area I was working.

The girls made a trip or two for things, and Summer started filling cabinets, which was something I specifically asked them not to do. I also asked them to sweep and Swiffer the hard surfaces when they got back, because they kept tracking dirt into the carpeted areas. For some reason, Summer did that last, after carrying things into the spare bedrooms. I’m constantly at wit’s end, and I don’t know how much more specific I can be when I ask them to do things. All I get is reflected frustration from them when I get upset that they did something wrong, and it just spirals downward every single time.

I guess Eaddie went home to do homework after dropping off some stuff. Summer finally cleaned the floors and then left. I went to my parents’ house for some mango soup for dinner before going to Walmart for some new silicone caulk. Then I stopped to get an air purifier that I forgot to get from Dad before going back to the house to re-caulk the shower again. The last stuff just never dried, but even the new stuff started to skin over and get lumpy while I was working it.

By the end of it all, I was tired, aggravated, frustrated, angry, sad, and alone. I locked up and went home, because that’s where I wanted to be.

I hate that Italian restaurant menus all just assume you know what the fuck they’re talking about.

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In Longsight

I made leftover tacos for brunch for everyone before going home to shower. Summer loaded up some things to take to the house, and I dropped the clean bean pan off at Ridgewood before meeting her there. I didn’t really get into much before heading home to shower, but eventually met her back at the house with a few more things. I pretty quickly got frustrated with what cleaning she had missed and how she had unpacked things. I tried to get her to bring things over and let me help organize, but instead she just ended up putting things in my way constantly.

The afternoon flew by, and we ended up coming home late. I made some rice and fried some fresh onion to eat with the leftover brisket, and then she went to bed. Eaddie got home late after taking the Model S across town for most of the afternoon. I was pretty frustrated that she hadn’t really packed anything up from her room, but maybe I can get them properly motivated tomorrow.

Just follow orders.

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Spiral

Today was a bit of a struggle. I finished up a super old biscuit with egg and cheese out of the ridge before going home for a bit. I showered and then came back to get Summer, who wanted to spend her day cleaning house. I took her to Lowe’s and Walmart to poke around for any seasonal deals. Lowe’s didn’t have anything of interest at all, but Walmart had a barbecue prep cart that I had been eyeing since last year.

We picked up some groceries and headed home to start dinner. When we unloaded, we discovered the chicken had leaked all over the trunk, so I had to pull the rubber liner out and clean up where it had jumped the lip onto the carpet. Once that was cleaned up, I came inside and started the chicken for tacos in the Instant Pot. That didn’t take very long at all, but after days of constant frustrations, I finally just shut down for a bit.

After we ate and I had some time to cool down, we went back to Walmart to pick up one of the prep carts. Then we came home and it was eventually off to sleep.

My inner monologue has had it.

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Floating the River

The teachers didn’t show up until later today because they had open house in the evening, which meant there was no breakfast to be had. I had a Red Bull to pep myself up, and after a little while I had to meet Blake and Courtney to teach her how to edit the website. I didn’t really have much to say about that, but tried to point them in a direction of posting to the website first, and social media second.

I think Kim worked on carts for a little bit, but I spent the rest of the morning messing with something else. Then we had Ridgewood Brothers for lunch, which was awesome because they didn’t just have pork. They brought brisket and turkey, as well as some potato salad, baked beans, and an assortment of desserts. It really was too much, but it was awesome.

Kim and I eventually made it down to the elementary to try and close out some work orders, but herding her around was a little like trying to herd a cat. Anything would catch her attention. At one point, she was literally playing with a basket of toys in the counselor’s office. Then I learned that the open wireless network wasn’t even split off to its own VLAN. Everything is exposed, and I’ve got teachers fussing because their work orders haven’t been addressed yet.

I ended up staying quite late to pen an email that I didn’t even send because Ben called on his way home. We chatted for a little while, and then I set up some remote software so I could work from home. It just didn’t seem worthwhile to go in on Friday when nobody else would be there.

I charged up and dawdled around at home for a while before making it up to Summer’s. She was supposed to get a new air conditioner, but evidently that didn’t happen. The house was cool from all the rain, though Summer kept complaining about being hot. I never even saw Eaddie until she came out of her room super late to find some food. I felt pretty cranky, so I avoided sleep for a couple hours before going to bed.

Elective Idiocy

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The Crocodile in the Room

I switched back to five day weeks today, just because I assumed I was supposed to. I took the opportunity to sleep in just a few short minutes, but then still had to get to work before eight. I didn’t have enough time to stop for coffee, but luckily they had breakfast for us with some coffee and an assortment of other drinks as well. I ate in the cafeteria by myself with my laptop, though I could have just as easily taken it to my office. Then I took my things to the auditorium where I ended up having to loan my laptop to the superintendent and anyone else that wanted to present, because the ancient laptop they had for the stage was just a piece of junk.

I was on stage to help for just a bit, and then spent the rest of his speech in the sound booth upstairs. I came down afterward and spent some time in my office through lunch, when they brought an assortment of Subway sandwiches. They weren’t bad, especially for free.

Blake came and prompted me after lunch so I could go present after him. I don’t know if anyone really expected me to have a presentation ready, but I did my best to put one together in a very short period of time. I thought I could go into it confidently, but of course I started melting as soon as I was on the spot. It actually went reasonably well, with teachers nodding in approval as I called the district out for their lack of accountability when handling students with devices. I tried to signal that administration would have our backs in the future, specifically so it would be solely on them if the failings continued into my watch.

The afternoon was a bit more loose, and Kim disappeared for a while. I’ve been disappointed that she’s just been waiting for me to start wiring carts, but it’s on me for not leading by example already. There’s just so much that she can’t do, and yet she’s waiting for me to help with the things she should be able to do.

I still left a little late, but not much over a full day. I went home and fixed my garage door sensor, which broke off of the wall when I manually opened the door yesterday. Luckily I found the two sharp screws in the driveway and under my tire, not having punctured anything. As soon as that was back together, I headed up to Summer’s where she and Eaddie had dinner waiting.

Summer has been trying to use up some of the food we’ve had in the freezer for a long time, and this time she boiled a bunch of chicken thighs for tacos. I tried to be positive, but was immediately disgusted by the sight and the taste of it all. I had two tacos and then tried to stop, but gave in to one more after feeling angry and hungry. After all of the cooking shows, the best she could do was boil chicken, and then throw out the liquid that would have actually made decent broth. I took a moment to cool down, and then talked to her about it afterward. I appreciated the gesture, but grew tired of the spectacular failures.

Later on, Eaddie and I went to Freddy’s to pick up some free custard for National Frozen Custard Day. I was a little skittish at first to place three free orders, but of course none of the minimum wage employees cared enough to even acknowledge our arrival. We scooped up our custards from the freezer and left.

I ate two bites and put the rest away, deathly afraid of what the dairy would do to my insides. The girls wound down quickly, and then we were all off to bed.

…with gently smiling jaws!

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Too Much Milling About

I got up with the girls this morning, but then napped for a little bit longer before going home to shower. I planned to take some Ridgewood Brothers BBQ to the mill as a gesture of goodwill since I still hadn’t actually accepted their job offer yet. Gary didn’t answer my call, but then responded to my text to say that they ended up filling the position earlier this week. I was pretty upset, but it wasn’t much of a surprise after all the time I had wasted since the original offer. Part of me thinks I should have just left the school without any qualms, since I had no evidence that the superintendent was actually putting forth any effort to increase my pay. Maybe he has, but he’s certainly not any good at communicating his intent.

Around that time, Eaddie finished at band practice. I told her I was free for lunch, so she came to pick me up and we went to Ridgewood ourselves. She made me get the two meat plate because she wanted a bite of some ribs, so I wasn’t quite as satisfied with my meal as I usually am. Then we went back to my house to get my car, but ended up leaving it there to stay on the charger.

As we left, I noticed she had things strewn all around the car, and my lip balm had been tipped up on its side, leaking out all over the place. Fortunately there was a removable rubber tray and it wasn’t terribly difficult to clean up. I was mostly upset that my lip balm was wasted all because the girls couldn’t pay attention to what the hell they were doing in my car.

When we got back to the house, I sat and played 20 Minutes Till Dawn on my phone. I brought my little 8BitDo controller, which made the game a lot more playable. Summer eventually made it home, but didn’t want to get back out. Eaddie and I went back to Ridgewood to try their pork belly pops and some brickle bars. We were in and out, but then got stopped by a train for several minutes as it went back and forth in front of us.

We loved the porksicles, and the desserts were great too. Then I laid in Summer’s lap while she watched TV, and played more of my new game until bedtime.

I like to think I would have been less happy there anyway.

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Fish and Family

We slept in a little bit today, but the fire alarm went off shortly after I got out of bed. Mom and Dad evacuated, but Julie and I never got to that point. I got dressed and picked up some breakfast to bring back to the room, and then went down for some oatmeal once my parents were ready to eat. We killed a bit of time in our hotel room afterward, and it was all I could do to mask the loud TV with my headphones until we were ready to leave.

Somebody found a different boat tour with a paddleboat instead, and we met everyone there for a 45 minute ride down the river. It wasn’t terribly hot out, and we saw a bald eagle in a tree on the edge of the water. When we finished the tour, we headed straight to Two Brothers Roundhouse for a distillery tour and tasting.

By the time we got there, I needed the drinks. It was like competing for oxygen in the car. It was a neat building that used to be a turning station for trains. A couple of the spirits were really good, and after a slightly extended tour with the bar manager, we found a table at the restaurant for an early dinner.

The food was really good, and we had some great conversations. We parted ways with Aunt Diane, Brandan, and Nicolle, and the rest of us went to a downtown area in Geneva for some ice cream at a Kilwins and a brief walk to another chocolate store before we headed back to our cars. We said our goodbyes, and made our way back to the hotel so Julie could get her beauty rest.

I’m still waiting to be impressed by how quickly you can fall asleep and quit bitching at me.

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Dairyère

The inspector texted back last night, so I scheduled the inspection for Wednesday. Summer was stressing a little bit about moving, which didn’t help my own stress levels. It’s a lot of money and a lot of interest with very little buffer if things go wrong, and they always do. I don’t want to go into debt for an even longer amount of time, since it’ll already be years before her student loans are gone. All of those concerns were compounded by the fact that I may just go absolutely crazy trying to cohabitate with them. It’s completely different when I can’t leave to go home somewhere else.

Summer left for a while, and I intended to go home fairly early to try and mow, but Eaddie didn’t get out of bed until Summer got back home. I went home even later, making it back just in time for dinner. Summer made shrimp Alfredo and I went outside to grill the sweet corn I got from the school board meeting. The pasta ended up soupy, and the corn ended up just plain tasteless. Eaddie made some brownies afterward that were pretty good, but I didn’t care much for the peanut butter mix-in.

We wrapped up the evening with some Modern Family. Julie called a couple times to book tickets for Uncle Rich’s funeral, and I ended up getting sick from the Alfredo sauce and little scoop of ice cream. I was in pain for the rest of the evening.

Nothing this year has gone according to any kind of plan.

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Oo-De-lally, Oo-De-lally

Even after getting to bed near three in the morning, I was wide awake before nine. I’m dead all week, and then fine all weekend. I got up and sent a text to Alisha to try and schedule a time to look at the house on Sherwood. They added some pictures of the kitchen, and we were interested enough to have a closer look.

I had a burger for brunch and then went home to clean up before. Then I went back for the girls before meeting my dad and Alisha at the house. Dad went to the house next door at first, which happened to be Kevin’s and his parents’ old house. Alisha’s kids were there running all around the place, but they weren’t too bad. We really liked the quirky layout of the house. The garage was a little small, and the whole lot itself was pretty tiny, but that just meant there was less to mow.

Everything was pretty soggy after the heavy rains, but even before that, the shop out back had a pretty extensive water leak. The ceiling and the floor were both really bad, and particularly squishy in a few places. They had it set up like a little apartment though, and if it were a little larger with a powered garage door, it would have been exactly what I wanted for the motorcycles. Dad also spotted some rotting wood on the fascia and soffit, but it may have been from before the roof was replaced.

We went by my parents’ house for a few minutes after we finished at the house, and then we continued back to Summer’s to start cooking some ribs. I started my smoker tube and got the ribs seasoned to slow smoke, and then Summer left for the gym. Eaddie hung out with me in the dining room after Vicky dropped off some snacks for her. I baked potatoes for dinner, and then we ate a little while after Summer got home.

Sometime after Summer went to bed, Aunt Beth started texting about Autumn, saying they were trying to get her into college, and scolding her for dropping her health insurance because they would have to pay for it. Summer got incredibly frustrated but wouldn’t respond, so I ended up doing it for her. Not one person in that family knows a damn thing about being a parent, and it shows in every single one of the kids they collected. The entire thing is a hot, dysfunctional mess, and we don’t want anything to do with it.

Golly, what a day!

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Undriven

I slept reasonably well last night, but didn’t let myself sleep in too late. Summer went to work and I got up to make a couple ham, egg, and cheese biscuits for Eaddie and myself. I became more and more aggravated as I continued to dig through the refrigerator, unearthing things forgotten and uneaten. I eventually left to shower so I could take Eaddie out to practice driving.

I stopped for a car wash on the way back to get Eaddie, and it seemed like I either got a new chip in the windshield, or the filler popped out of an old chip that had been previously repaired. It was super noticeable because the cracks caught the sunlight, which made me think it was a new crack. I haven’t had very good luck with windshields over the past couple years.

I took Eaddie to the high school so she could drive around. I figured the best way to practice was to have her drive from lot to lot, park, and then walk all the way around the car to see how she did. Doing this repeatedly in different parking spaces would help her learn some spatial awareness, and timing how many times she could park in the hour got her a little more focused on driving instead of parking and talking.

When we finished, I tried to get her to drive us to the DMV so we could upgrade her learner’s license. She got to the Hickey parking lot and then froze, refusing to get into traffic on the main road. That aggravated me because I had just purchased insurance for her, but by then we were in a bit of a rush to complete a task before the DMV closed. We switched positions and I got us there. I figured we should be proactive and get her a “Real ID” which required additional documentation. We raced to Superfast to get Summer, then to the house to get her Social Security card, birth certificate, and a couple utility bills for proof of residency. Then we made it back to the DMV, but we had switched vehicles and I had to run back to Superfast to get Eaddie’s current license.

When I got back to the DMV, Eaddie said they didn’t need any of that documentation because they just got a regular license instead. It didn’t cost any more, and we already had the documentation in hand, so I couldn’t understand why they agreed to get a regular license. The entire race across town was for absolutely nothing, and I felt again like I was the only one doing the thinking for everyone involved. We dropped Summer off back at work, and then Eaddie and I continued on to get some gas before ending up back at their house.

Eaddie was hangry, so she ate a few bites of some leftovers before deciding she didn’t like cold noodles. I finished them, but we ended up not getting back out to practice more driving. We tried dipping more cake pops, but she ended up having to use some new white chocolate, since the milk chocolate froze up on us. When Summer got home, I grilled the last of a couple frozen burgers for them. They ate, and then we watched Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. I wanted to watch Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, but they refused and went to bed. It was late by the time I got everything else cleaned up and wound down anyway, so I just did my best to make it to bed before midnight.

He chose… poorly.