Tag: anger management

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Double Dooty

Summer woke me up because someone knocked on the door this morning. We both assumed it was probably a package, but there wasn’t anything at the door when we checked. She got around to come coffee in an Ember mug and remarked on how nice it was to have hot coffee to the last sip. I commented that it’s also nice to have only one cup that’s immediately washed and put away, rather than a countertop full of poorly-rinsed coffee mugs that collect over the course of a week or two. That upset her, which irritated me.

Eaddie snuck out for church at some point, and Summer wanted to go to the gym. I went outside after the dogs tore something else up, and had to drain the flooded basement. While I was back there, I noticed a hole in the roof where something was likely nesting. Summer took my car to the gym after some protest because of the lack of turn signal and drive stalks. I took a shower, and when she got back, she had a glum look on her face. She then proceeded to tell me about witnessing a hit-and-run in the parking lot in such a way that I was on edge the entire time thinking something happened to my car, which irritated me further.

I eventually took the dogs out for a run since it was finally mostly dry out. When we got back, the girls were home doing a ton of laundry and cleaning up. I messed with some more accessories for my car and installed some kick panels on the center console, then went back to my parents’ house for mango soup.

When I made it back home, I spent a bunch more time cleaning up while Summer cross stitched in front of the TV and Eaddie finished up her laundry. I got Summer’s license plate frame installed, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about adding one to mine. We’ll have to test it out once I get it registered.

I was sleepy for most of the evening, but general aggravation that had accumulated throughout the day got my blood pressure up. I felt a bit of a bronchial cough coming on all night, so hopefully I’m not getting sick.

Easy

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Those Christmas Lights

Summer got me up around nine this morning so I could get the turkey going. To my surprise, we were approved for the zero percent loan for my new car with a low down payment, so I took care of that and made the final payment before I got started. Then I kept Summer nearby because I wasn’t sure what I was going to need at any given moment. I used my new grinder to grind the spices down for the injection. It worked better, but still ended up clogging. I think it had more to do with the fact that the butter was solidifying in the syringe since the turkey was still cold inside. We eventually got it on the smoker though, and then it was a race to get everything else going. I oiled and salted the potatoes and threw them on the grill as well.

Summer did a bunch of other cleaning and worked on her deviled eggs. I took a shower and then pulled the potatoes off the grill so I could gut them, mash that up, and re-smoke them. We were getting down to the wire, but had a reasonably good morning until I got a text that Mom wasn’t coming. I had my hands full of potatoes, so I had Summer call Dad on speakerphone. I instantly blew my top at her because she wanted to blame my blood pressure, but changing plans at the last minute was what really got me hot.

I got the potatoes back on the smoker and cranked up the heat a bit, which turned out to be a big mistake. I guess there was still some grease at the bottom that caught fire, and my temperature shot up from my set 350ºF to over 500. We pulled the potatoes off and Summer finished them in the oven. I was going to drive over to talk to Mom, but just then Kevin showed up, followed by Julie with various things to unload from the car. Dad wasn’t far behind with even more stuff.

We got everything settled and then I took Dad’s car to go talk to Mom, since he and Julie were parked behind us. I talked to her briefly and apologized for blowing up, but reminded her that a big reason that I agreed to buy our house was so we would have room to entertain the family for the holidays, in a house with as little travel from theirs as possible. It didn’t take much more for her to come back with me, but she insisted that she didn’t want to stay long.

Noah was running behind in the most characteristically unpredictable way, so the seven of us ate. I thought all the food turned out pretty good. After that, we took a break to open presents. Eaddie had the biggest haul and wanted to know what she did to deserve to be so spoiled, but I think everyone felt pretty satisfied. After that, it was a bit of a struggle to decide what to do. I wanted to either watch Red One or start on some dessert, but Summer was busy cleaning up in the kitchen and became unresponsive to anything I asked. Julie ended up putting on Elf and they watched that while a few of us got some dessert.

Dad took Mom home, and Eaddie had Eli come over for some presents. Then they put on the Michael Jordan documentary series or whatever on the TV again. Noah finally showed up at some point and ate food and opened presents. I wasn’t terribly upset that he didn’t end up staying the night. Once everyone else left, the girls and I watched Red One together before bed. We all really enjoyed it for being so creative and unexpected.

I wrapped up the night by making some more turkey soup from the new bones we had. I was up pretty late waiting for it to cool down enough to refrigerate, but I was happy to be done with it right away instead of letting the bones sit for weeks.

Light up the street.

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Back to Black

Today was pretty rainy and warm. I got to work, and Kyle was oddly the only one there. He hung out for a little while, but then left for his office the rest of the day. Charles brought in a bunch of leftover pizza and cookies from a party that he had over the weekend, so nobody got out for lunch. Otherwise I was with Maggie and Randy all day, except Randy kept having to run to central office to help with random things.

I got a call from a message from Tesla that they would have to change my delivery from Tulsa to Kansas City if I wanted to finance through them, since Oklahoma wouldn’t allow them to sell me the car because laws. Then I got a call from Kyle in Kansas City to say they wouldn’t be able to get a red Model 3 with the white interior before the end of the year, thus disqualifying me from the incentive. He had a red with the black interior, or other paint colors I could choose from, but I told him it had to be red. I decided to think on it a bit and then call him back.

I looked up some more comparison pictures and reviews, then called back to accept the black interior, but he said someone just bought it, so they didn’t have a red car for me at all. I told him to cancel the order, and that there were no hard feelings. Just as I was closing everything down and shaking off the excitement, he called back to say that he felt bad about the other car being sold out from under me that he did some legwork and got approved to transfer a red with black from Texas to Kansas City so I would still qualify. I took the offer, then had to redo my loan application because I was dumb and included our entire mortgage amount in what I reported. For some reason I went lawful-good and thought I had to tell the absolute truth, but Kyle said to just change the amount I pay and see if I get a better offer.

Apart from that, there wasn’t any excitement until quitting time. I left a little early so I could pick up some flowers for Summer, and somewhere after Conway I ran into a torrential downpour. There were a dozen cars pulled over, and at least one Miata-sized car spun out in the median. I got to town safely, picked up some flowers from Walmart, then picked Summer up at the lube and took her to Brangus for our anniversary.

After we finished our undercooked steaks, we ran home to clean up before Eaddie’s Christmas concert. We picked up Dad along the way, then sat through two bands worth of music. My heart was racing the entire time, and I couldn’t ever get it to calm down. On the way out, the cranky old grandparents snubbed Summer while they were visiting with Eaddie. We got out pretty quickly after that because it upset Summer. We had a near-successful summon for the Model Y, dropped Dad off at their house, then went home to wind down and get to bed.

Runaway rollercoaster!

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Cleaning Dash

I woke up pretty early this morning and fed the dogs before I got to work cleaning up the house. With my parents’ house in disarray from the water damage, we’ll have the most room to have Christmas here, but there hasn’t been a flat surface anywhere in the entire house for weeks. I had a ton of projects to finish, and precisely one day to complete most of it.

I did a fair job, but I just kept unearthing more and more stuff. Between periods of cleaning, I kept an eye on my blood pressure. Then I’d take breaks to pump out some Vine reviews as I got those particular things cleaned up and out of the way.

Dad texted that Mom was making bún thang, but I didn’t realize that she was only just starting. I took a shower and kept on cleaning. Summer came home from the gym and took a shower, but then complained about feeling lightheaded, so I took her blood pressure again before I left.

The dogs chewed up more of the water hose at some point last night, and I assumed it was because they hadn’t been out on a run, so I knew I needed to get them out. I took the Onewheel to my parents’ house, hoping the wet ground wouldn’t affect me too bad, but it did. My entire leg and shoe were soaked by the time I got there.

I left them in the pen and went in to eat, then took them back home so I could continue cleaning up. It was also our only weekend to really be home as a family, so we had to decorate the Christmas trees. The girls did most of that because I started to feel a little off for some reason. I never did get to the old house like I planned, but Eaddie and I will be the only ones on an extended Christmas break, so I guess that’s my time.

As I got ready for bed, I got a tiny bill from my first ER visit at Baptist Health for $11. It looked like there was also a “pending” insurance payment of nearly $4k, but I also know I’m on a high deductible plan. Hopefully that’s not “pending” a denial before it’s passed along to me, but I have a feeling that it is. I guess we’ll wait and see, but I’ll be really surprised if I’m only responsible for $11 for that visit, when St. Mary’s took $300 for doing basically nothing.

I guess that was my calculated risk to take, so hopefully I still came out ahead over time.

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💯

Predictably, I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. My mind raced, stuck in a maze. I eventually managed to pass out for a couple hours, but then woke up around 2:30 and decided to measure my blood pressure. I had great numbers, but then my mind started racing again and it shot up, again preventing me from going back to sleep. I moved around a bit, and even tried lying on the couch for a little while, but nothing worked. I finally climbed out of bed a little after three and just started getting ready for work.

My pressure rose the entire time, and the lump in my throat that I finally lost in the middle of the night was back. Luckily it was a slow ride in to work and I managed to avoid some frustration there. I was a few minutes early, but to no effect. Randy came in just after me and we chatted a little bit. Once he left for his executive team meeting, I sat in the dark until Maggie showed up.

My numbers weren’t awful, and I snacked for some of the morning. They still got pretty high by lunch, and then a McRib probably didn’t do much to help me. In fact, I kept skating just above 90mmHg diastolic for most of the afternoon, and the clonidine didn’t seem to have much effect. I had left a message for Crystal’s nurse first thing in the morning, but the only call I received was from someone at Baptist that called after receiving my info from the self-care fair.

Randy decided we could work from seven to 3:30, so I took off and beat most of the most annoying traffic home. Summer got there just after I did, and I took the dogs for a run with a little bit of daylight left. We went through the basin and around the roundabout to my parents’ house and up the hill before coming back home.

Eaddie got home just after I did, but spent some time chauffeuring friends before finally coming back home for the night. Summer sat quietly in the living room, and I ate the lettuce with some Miracle Whip and black pepper, then a banana before going to bed super early.

😓

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Keep It Under 100

I didn’t think I slept great, or for very long last night. I actually woke up before my alarm and decided to get up for work. I didn’t even get through the whole routine, but made it out the door early enough to take it easy going in. I didn’t really have any trouble for the drive in, and I think people were glad to see I was still kicking. I took my blood pressure cuff with me, and checked it several times throughout the day. In spite of taking it super easy all day, it got higher and higher to the point that I had to start taking clonidine around lunch time.

I met Randy and Jim at Jacob’s Wings for lunch, and I don’t think those helped me much. I had forgotten their “boneless wings” were more like sliced chicken strips, but they were good. It was a super quiet lunch, and then I headed back to the office to charge.

The afternoon was quiet too, and I tried to sneak out a little bit early to try and avoid traffic. I could feel the frustration rising, but I never really got a lump in my throat or felt bad at all. I made it home where Summer had been cooking turkey dumplings for dinner. I took the dogs out for a quick run in the dark, and they were pretty great. I almost slipped and died because the basin trail had flooded and left a slick layer of silt on the sidewalk, but I stuck the landing. We made it to visit Dad, then back home in good time.

I was excited at first when Summer and I sat down to eat, but that quickly turned to more frustration. She pulled the meat off of my turkey bones that I was going to use for soup, and didn’t actually cook any of the bones for her dish. That would have made it better than using powdered chicken broth. She also added heavy cream to the broth, as well as my entire container of turkey gravy for some reason. Her mood of course went sour the instant she knew I wasn’t happy about it. Since she was on a hot streak with the food, she also failed to run the correct cycle on the dishwasher.

I ended up leaving the dumplings at the table and pulled out the rotting salad she had forgotten in the fridge instead. I sorted out what was still edible and planned to eat it, but my blood pressure got too high. I took my third clonidine for the day and tried to calm myself down, but just kept upsetting myself further. I really don’t know how to fix any of this. I’m pretty sure living together is killing me.

Eaddie got home super late from something, but Summer couldn’t say what. I just had to separate myself and get to bed as quickly as I could.

I’m used to not having anyone on my side.

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Chicken Potato Bowls

Today was a long day of picking up the house. Summer went to work. Eaddie came out eventually and took a shower while I was running all around the house. I thought Summer would be home around lunch time, but that wasn’t so. At some point, Eaddie asked if she could go to her father’s house for the night since I guess one of her half sisters had a kid with a birthday. These people propagate like mint.

I warmed up some leftover mashed potatoes and frozen chicken strips for lunch, then continued picking up and organizing randomly until Summer finally got home. She started on some deviled eggs and then took a bath, and I took the dogs out for an early run. We did nearly five miles after stopping to see Dad. He was worried about the new fiber internet provider after they cut their existing cable line trying to run fiber to the house. I just told him to find a place to leave a negative review, and someone would probably reach out rather than have him fight with incompetent customer service trying to direct him to an insurance company.

The dogs did really well, and Stilgar didn’t seem to care about how cold it was. He still wanted to be an alligator in the creek. I ran them all around the neighborhood and then brought them home for hot dogs. I had several more packages at the door, which brought the total to four separate deliveries for the day. I brought them inside and Summer started opening them. I wasn’t double checking what she was doing, and evidently she threw out a bag that still had a watch band in it. That wouldn’t have been bad, except I had just taken the recycling out to the curb just seconds before the truck picked up the dumpster.

I was furious at her negligence. I picked up a bit more before leaving to get some McNuggets for dinner. I didn’t want to go home, and considered that I might want something more to eat, so I ended up stopping in the Wendy’s parking lot. I ate the nuggets, and then remembered a deal for half price Famous Bowls from KFC, so I drove across the street and ate one of those in the lobby. I dawdled there for a while and then got back in the car and had Full Self Driving take me across town. It didn’t get adventurous, so I pointed it up the mountain before having it drive me back home.

Summer went to bed and I stayed up late picking up the ceiling-high stack of boxes she had shoved into the corner. There was a lot of junk there that she had just shoveled out of the way instead of letting me handle it. I sulked some more before eventually taking a shower and going to bed.

Let me remember the ways.

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The “Ga” is Silent

I woke up at 6:30 so we could make it to a nine o’clock movie in Conway. The girls got up after I was out of the shower, and then we were off. Summer drove so I could try and order snacks on my phone, but we ended up ordering there instead because I couldn’t redeem Movie Club credits for online orders.

Summer drove stubbornly and reacted poorly when I scolded her for not letting the car move out of the passing lane. Then when we got to the theater, she tried giving up after one horrible attempt at parking. I got out in a huff and waited in line to order snacks, then had to yell at them from across the lobby to come help me carry stuff.

We watched Wicked, which evidently was a Part 1, in a smaller auditorium in 3D. I think we were there with only one other person. I accidentally spilled a bunch of buttery popcorn and had to deal with a slippery floor for the whole movie. I also got super tired and struggled to keep my eyes open for part of it. Otherwise I thought it was pretty good. I think I liked the live show better though.

After the movie, we went to Brick & Forge for lunch. Our server was super weird and kept wanting to hover while we were reading the menu. Then he brought our food out before our appetizer. In fact, that didn’t come out until Summer had eaten all she could stand of her pasta entrée. Eaddie liked her burger, and my brunch quesadilla wasn’t bad. The pulled pork bread roll appetizer was pretty good, but simply came out too late. I nearly asked for it to be removed from the ticket.

Once we finished eating, we headed to Kohl’s and Shoe Carnival to do some shopping. Summer wasn’t feeling well, and Eaddie needed to get back to practice before her rehearsal, so we headed home after just those two stores. I drove this time, and stopped at Walmart once we got back into town so Eaddie could get some body wash. Summer waited in the car, so we were in and out fairly quickly.

I took the dogs out for a run as soon as we got home, and they did fairly well. They got treats and food, and then I tried to clean up in the kitchen a bit. I cleaned up some leftovers, then had Eaddie pick up some dollar McNuggets before the coupon reset. She ended up going to get Eli first, so there was a bit of a to-do. I probably spent $10 in gas for her to get those $1 nuggets.

Summer went to bed, Eaddie eventually made it home and did the same, and I wrapped up late, unslept and aggravated from more general negligence around the house.

Some things I cannot change, but ’til I try I’ll never know.

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I Make a Penny

I’ve been bringing leftover Starbucks coffee to work lately, but having very mixed experiences with the USB heated mug. The Ember gets it hot once I get to work, but it’s annoying that the travel mug doesn’t work as well. We had someone from IK Electric and someone from Fortinet coming to set up some demo phones for us, but I wasn’t sure when they would be there. That meant we had a fairly slow morning waiting for them.

Randy had to disappear to deal with the Windstream folks, so I tried to lead some of the conversation with the phone guys. Maggie kept including herself in the conversation for some reason, which was annoying because it was difficult to get any more technical questions out.

Kyle and I met Randy and Jim at Shotgun Dan’s Pizza for lunch, and they appeared to be much busier than they expected, because there was only one server for the whole restaurant. She was struggling to get anything done, but at least the food was pretty good.

After lunch, Randy went with me to Central Office to “apologize” to Sonya. I expected to at least say something, but really he walked in and just started talking and never really quit. She didn’t seem very chipper, but maybe she’s just sassy like that. I couldn’t be bothered.

When we got back to the office, Randy realized his car was actually at the high school. We decided I could just take him back to his car after work, and we finished out the afternoon. I had to charge in the warehouse in order to get home, but it all worked out.

Summer made slow cooker chili, so I got home and ran with the dogs. It was pretty cool outside, and we were chasing daylight anyway. I was pretty frustrated when we got back, because Summer brought in Stilgar’s slow feeder that she had left outside. He literally chewed the whole food dish in half. I really liked that slow feeder, and I haven’t seen another one like it available on Amazon Vine. I don’t know how many times I’ve told her not to leave it outside. Stupid.

My new Pixel Watch 3 came in, so I spent some time setting it up. I didn’t love the color of the band, but I’ve ordered more from Vine. Otherwise than that, I spent some time on the phone with Johnny, and went to bed early.

My boss makes a dime.

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Human Retards

I was really early to leave the house this morning, but kept having idiots pull out in front of me just to go slower, multiple times on the way to work. I guess preconditioning took some battery power, so I pulled into the warehouse to charge all day. Things started out super chill, but quickly became ridiculous. “Everyone” was having trouble either printing or connecting to network drives. It took us all morning to figure out that it was the changes to Cisco Umbrella that Randy made yesterday just before we walked out the door.

Sonya called Maggie about a print issue that I assumed was the same I had been troubleshooting, but then went off about needing staples, and being an exception to the rule of our PaperCut deployment. She didn’t like any of my answers, became hostile and rude, and then hung up on us after threatening to get the superintendent involved.

Maggie and I went to Chili’s for lunch, where we were served by an old friend of hers. We didn’t think too much about the grief back at the office, though I did get a “nasty” email from Sonya. I had begun crafting a response, but Randy initially told me not to reply at all. He said he was told to have me apologize in person, to which I responded that it was odd that Human Resources would want an apology in person without a paper trail. We ultimately settled on a written response and an added face-to-face meeting to smooth any lingering tensions.

We fixed the Umbrella nonsense for the moment, but would have to revisit it later. Near the end of the day, we had to run upstairs to collect a TV that had fallen off of the wall in a conference room. As we came back into the office, Johnny called with some of his own drama. Then I ran home as quickly as I could to get some run time with the dogs.

Eli’s car was at the house, and Eaddie was in a bath when I got there. She texted that he wasn’t there, so I left with the dogs. Evidently she drove his car home because he picked her up for school, but then had to leave for some band thing and wouldn’t be back until late in the evening.

The dogs did great as we ran our course backwards. I wanted them to get some time at the basin trail before it got too dark. They had a dip, and then we went up to the roundabout before swinging back through my parents’ house. We talked with Dad briefly before making it home for some hot dogs. Summer was out back on the porch waiting for me, but then Brody called with questions about used Teslas. I talked to him a couple times before Summer and I got to chat about her day.

I had a burrito for dinner and did some laundry. Eaddie chatted with me for a bit and helped with some leftovers. Then I wrapped things up pretty quickly for bed after she left to get Eli.

Must be something in the water.