Tag: disappointment

Uncategorised

On a Magazine

Summer and I got up super early this morning so she could compete in a nine mile run up Mt. Magazine. We took Muad’Dib with us and ran a little late, but it was easy to make up the time. When we got to school in Havana, she actually had to walk about half a mile down a dirt road to the starting line. I took the Onewheel to watch her start, and then we drove up the mountain past all the runners to get to the finish line.

We sat at a picnic table and I pulled a couple ticks off of him, and one off of myself. Then we made it back to the overlook early so we could be sure to see Summer cross the line. We waited until everyone finished before she realized she didn’t place for an award, so we left just as they started to announce them. I felt a little bad, but I had already been there long enough without anything to do.

There wasn’t really anywhere to park at the finish line, which was just at the first overlook, so we continued down to the Benefield Loop trail head. Muad’Dib and I walked part of the western loop, and he did pretty great on his own. There were a couple other cars parked there, but we didn’t see anyone. We made it to where the trail crossed the road and then just turned back to the car.

We made it home and tied Muad’Dib up outside, then took Eaddie to Tacos 4 Ever Burritos & More. I was so happy that they had an actual restaurant instead of just a food truck. The food was great, so we may have a new default Mexican joint.

After we ate, we headed back home for the afternoon and Summer watched Butterfly Effect 3: Revelations with me. It wasn’t great. After that, she took a nap in bed and I started to doze in the floor of the living room, but I eventually got up and took Muad’Dib out for a proper run. When we got back to the house, he needed another bath. He behaved reasonably well, but then hid under the deck just as I finished drying him. I had to get Eaddie to coax him back out and bring him inside.

I laid down with Summer for a little while, and then Eaddie had Maristella over to spend the night.

Peachy.

Uncategorised

M-m-m-my Vilonia

I took it a little slower this morning and met Randy at Bob’s Grill in downtown Conway for breakfast. We had chorizo breakfast burritos that were pretty good, but also pretty small for the price, along with a pretty presumptuous 23% minimum suggested tip. Then we both ended up driving to the Vilonia school district to meet up with Billy, their network admin. They were in a little portable building way out on the edge of the campus, and we sat in the back room where Billy showed us their Intune and Entra environment.

I was wholly unimpressed. I tried to go in with an open mind, but the more I saw, and the more workarounds he showed us, it seemed like they would have been better off to just stick with the legacy SCCM until they axe it for good. It was a long, slow morning until lunch.

The three of us went to Simple Simon’s for the local pizza buffet, and the food was pretty good. They did a great job of keeping their tiny bar stocked. We visited for a while before heading back to finish up the afternoon. I started to feel a bit of churn late in the afternoon, so I couldn’t get out of there quickly enough. I made it home, but had a pretty rough night after that.

Summer got home a little later and made shrimp Alfredo for the kids while I laid on the couch for a bit. Then I got up to take Muad’Dib out for a run. He was pretty slow, and kept wanting to wander away, so I had to baby him a bit more than usual. I wasn’t thrilled.

We ended up cutting off the last block to get home, and we wrapped up the evening fairly quickly. I still didn’t feel great, and Summer had some nerve issues with her legs as well. The kids stayed up watching TV, but I made it to bed a little bit early.

It’s so dramatic how you run from better days.

Uncategorised

Rollin’ in the Deep

Muad’Dib slept well with us last night, and I think Eaddie even let him into her room for a bit. More than once, I lied quietly awake while he and Summer snored. When morning came, she got up and made what amounted to a pot of bacon-fried rice and eggs. I wished she had just done what I told her and used Ro-tel, so it would have been a little lighter than what she made by toasting sesame seeds and onions in sesame oil in addition to the existing bacon grease.

Eaddie left pretty early to spend the day in Maumelle with Eli’s family. Summer went to work and then to the gym for a while. I cleaned up a bit at home before Summer got back and finished her cake. Then we gave Muad’Dib another bath, hoping I could take him to my parents’ house with less protest.

He took his bath reasonably well, but it’s proven nearly impossible to stop him from shaking water everywhere once he gets out of the tub. I took him outside to blow-brush dry, and then I brought him inside to vacuum out some more hair.

As the evening approached, Summer thought we could walk him between the raindrops. I wasn’t convinced it wouldn’t rain harder, so I let her walk him to my parents’ house, and I drove the cake over. Just after I got there, she said she needed a poop bag, so I dropped off the cake and went back to scoop the poop, It wasn’t until I got back to my parents’ house that I realized the cake leaked fruit goop all over her passenger seat. There was a pool of it all along the rear seam of the seat, and all I could do was hope that it didn’t seep further into the cushion.

Mom refused to let Muad’Dib in the house, so we let him sit out back while we ate rolls. Afterward, we had Summer’s incredibly dense cake, and her decision not to use powdered sugar in the buttercream icing made it crunchy in a bad way.

We drove home for the evening and I finally got Muad’Dib to eat some of his own food that he’d been turning his nose up all weekend. The kids got home late and hung out for a while, and I tried to go to bed early.

Stability in Misery

Uncategorised

Double Dog Dare

Summer texted when I got to work that Muad’Dib walked over the fallen fence to play with Nova nextdoor. The neighbor called someone to come quote a repair, but he was cool with the dogs playing together, and Summer said they were having a great time, so I didn’t sweat it. Then Johnny called and said Bitec had an “urgent” listing for the job I had previously interviewed for, so I replied back to an old email and then did a quick refresh on my résumé before applying through Indeed.

The rest of the morning was spent going through DNS again in preparation for turning on scavenging in the afternoon. Otherwise it was pretty quiet. Howard bought us pizza for a vendor call, and we sat through a presentation by Decept10 before the U.S. Pizza Co. arrived. I had another anxiety attack at some point, and then the rest of the afternoon was relatively lazy and short.

Randy said we could leave just a hair early for our three-day weekend, so I headed out and grabbed a bottle of rum in Morrilton. I opened a bunch of packages from Vine when I got home before Summer. She didn’t feel well when she got there, so she took a bath while I ran Muad’Dib. We took an extended run to Ridgewood where we met a new girl named Cindy who talked to me for a bit about riding her Onewheel on trails. Then we continued to Casey’s to try for a slush, but the machine was out. On the way out, a kid that had asked to pet Muad’Dib asked if he could try the board, so I helped him out. Then we rode back across town.

Dad met us in the road, and then I went in to eat some roast beef while he played with Muad’Dib. Then we got home just after dark. The kids had left for something, and Summer was laying on the couch half dead. I put her to bed, and quickly wound down.

I hate this so much.

Uncategorised

Nothing’s Permanent

I had a pretty lucid morning. I dug into DNS records and made note of anything that looked important that wasn’t set statically. It sounded like some of the others were helping Jim at the high school, but nobody said anything to me about it, so I just sat in the office with Jimmy all day, except for a trip to Taco Bell for a quick and cheap lunch.

The afternoon twitches showed up right on time, I had an anxiety attack, and I just got more and more tense as I made it home through slow traffic. I felt like every muscle in my body was just slowly bound.

Noah and Eli were over and Summer was making dinner. Chicken bits pan fried in some random bottle of sauce she bought, Brussels sprouts that were overspiced enough that Eli nearly choked out, and mashed sweet potato. Exactly what I envisioned.

After dinner, I took Muad’Dib out for a run and we did our best to dodge other dog walkers. The couple of dogs we couldn’t avoid weren’t too much trouble, so it was a good run. We visited Dad for some brushing, then got home and wound down.

That goes doubly for DNS records.

Uncategorised

Orbital Anomalies

I thought I’d go for a change and stop at McDonald’s in Atkins this morning, and I had a much better experience than I expected. It was a bright, anxious ride in to work just to learn that Randy was leaving at lunch. I got LAPS working on my test devices, but then struggled to choose a battle for the rest of the day.

Since I was on my own again, I just went to McDonald’s for a late lunch date with a Big Mac. It felt fittingly depressive, and then I sipped on my punch all afternoon. When I got back to the office, everyone was standing outside due to an evacuation alarm. The fire department showed up and gave the all-clear, but we never did figure out what triggered it in the first place.

I ended up working just a little bit late since I would be meeting Mitch for dinner. He said he had some extra crew in town that was going to grill at the hotel, so I figured I could grab some steaks on the way over. I stopped to charge for a few minutes outside the Baptist Health building, but it ran even slower than a regular outlet. I finally went to Walmart and picked up a couple T-bones, some chips and dips, and a couple ears of corn, and went to Mitch’s hotel to wait for him.

They ended up having outlets on the outside of the building, so I charged faster there than I did at the Baptist Health chargers. Mitch showed up, went to change, then came back down and sat in my car. Evidently he changed his mind and wanted to go out, but I misread the message and bought food. We changed plans back to grill, but then he wasn’t sure when the other guys were cooking.

We ran to a gas station so he could get some beer, then went up to his room for a bit. We talked for quite a while, and I never realized he dated Rachel seriously way back in the day. He said they broke up and she turned right around and married Jacob, who later divorced and married Sarah. It felt like the layers of the Matrix were being pulled back before my eyes. It’s all a construct.

We had finally given up on cooking and I was just going to let him keep the food and go out instead, but as soon as we pulled into the Cactus Jack’s parking lot, he got a text that they were ready to grill and we headed back again. One of the other guys had the grill going, so we let him take care of the steaks. They actually turned out perfect in spite of the trouble he had with the wind blowing out the propane. It was a decent time, though Mitch had Alyssa over and it ended up being the three of us eating alone.

I got home quickly after that, stopping in Conway to charge for just a couple minutes. I couldn’t handle much more of this tiny universe. These bodies orbit much too closely.

I have Trusty Shoes

Uncategorised

Block Game

I was spinning pretty hard after last night, but I got out of the house and made it to work. I thought I might grab some McDonald’s for breakfast, but ended up munching on a bag of regular Cheerios instead. It was a quiet day, but I managed to fix audio drivers for Jim between getting pulled back and forth to a few other tasks. I went to McDonald’s and had lunch by myself, then fought some anxiety the rest of the afternoon. I had an attack as well, sometime in the afternoon I think.

It barely sprinkled on the way home, but it was clear enough that I could wait until later in the evening to run Muad’Dib. It was nice and cool out, so he ran pretty well. I missed a good photo opportunity when he chased some geese into the flooded pond. We visited Dad for a brush, then got home just after Summer. It was a short night after that.

An ominous landscape of never-ending calamity.

Uncategorised

The C-Words

Randy texted on my way in that he would be a couple hours late after last night’s board meeting. Jimmy and I were basically the only two around all day, except for a brief appearance by Jay. Several others were out, but things were still bound to get exciting.

Anita knocked on the door a couple times after Maggie’s and Randy’s phones rang. Sonya in HR was trying to reach us, and was upset that we weren’t at her whim. Anita asked me to call her, and I wished I had recorded the conversation, because she immediately became snotty with me. I killed her with kindness, but just like last time, she hung up on me and basically said somebody was on their way to resolve the issue in person.

Not long after that, Randy did show up with Jacob, and I relayed the story in an emailed record of conversation. I got the feeling that Jacob was over her shenanigans as well. After that, things got super quiet again for the rest of the day. Summer called in the early afternoon to say that her biopsy results came back positive for ductal carcinoma, which sounded like the best case scenario for the threat of cancer. I reassured her the best I could, but she was obviously bothered.

I took a late lunch and ran through Rally’s for a pretty good Super Loaded Buford. The fries were hot and fresh enough to melt away my worries for the amount of time it took me to scarf them down. Randy was somewhere else for most of the afternoon, but came back in time to see that we didn’t leave at three.

When we did leave, I headed across town to check if the Target in West Little Rock had a Samsung The Frame TV on clearance. They did actually have one in stock, but it was still priced more than twice what I was willing to pay, so I had to walk away. While I was there, I guess I got hot on top of being a bit amped up, because my heart rate skyrocketed and I started to get a bit dizzy again. I chewed a fragment of a clonidine I had in my pocket, and it either helped or I just managed to calm myself down enough that it didn’t become an issue.

I headed back across town to Franklin’s Charging to get some juice before Mitch finished with work. As I pulled in, a guy asked me to slide over into another spot to try a different charger. He ended up being the owner, by the name of Jeff. He talked to me for the entirety of my visit, and seemed a proper EV nerd. As we were chatting, another guy pulled up next to me to charge his F150 Lightning. He was John, from AEV Solar, and the two of them continued the conversation as I mostly leaned back and listened. It was neat to hear a bit of Jeff’s journey in growing his business.

I eventually made it to Mitch’s hotel and waited for him to finish uploading some photos from the workday. Then by chance we were able to meet Blake and his friend Alyssa at Southern Tail, where we initially took drinks out to a picnic table at the edge of the property, but later found a table at the patio. We had a good time catching up, but it was definitely more rowdy than last time. We left as it just started to get dark, and I made my way home to the girls.

It rained a bit on the drive, but it was otherwise uneventful. The girls were chatting in the bedroom, so I laid with them for a bit before Eaddie went back to her room, and then it was a quick wind down to bed.

I’d like to say that it’s been real, but it’s been fake as hell.

Uncategorised

Eat Glass

I hardly slept a wink last night from tossing and turning. Any time I did manage to fall asleep for a few minutes, I’d wake up again from strange dreams. I somehow managed to get to Little Rock early enough that I decided to stop at McDonald’s for a McMuffin, and it was downhill from there. The guys socialized on the other side of the wall while I tried to catch up on emails, but when Jim finally got going at the high school, he reported that imaging was still broken, or possibly broken again after whatever Randy did last week.

I fought that all day, only taking a break to pick up some Buffalo Wild Wings to split with Maggie. That was a bit of a drive out, but it was one of the better deals and cheaper ways to eat for sure. I learned that you could have your fries tossed in whatever dry rub you like, but somewhere along the way I picked up a shard of glass that turned to grit when I bit into it. I was able to fish out a larger piece and spit out the rest, and after a phone call, I emailed a picture to the manager.

The end of the day arrived, again without resolution. I started to get a bit twitchy, but made it home to sit on the porch with Summer for a bit. Then I took Muad’Dib out for a run and came home to finish up the leftover pork chop from the other day, since the kids ate the two steaks we had from yesterday. Summer cleaned up, and then we sat on the couch and watched another stand-up special before bed.

Shudder to Think

Uncategorised

Run Like Yell

We got up early for Summer’s run in Dardanelle this morning. We wanted to take Muad’Dib, but Summer wasn’t very proactive when we were trying to load things up to go, so I ended up forgetting my OneWheel. We got downtown and I started to just hang out with her, but I decided I’d try to run home and get it quickly so I could be back in time to watch the race. Unfortunately I got back over the bridge just in time to be stuck in traffic as they closed the road. I had no idea they would be running the race in that direction.

Once I got back downtown, I took Muad’Dib from Brian and a bunch of kids who had been babysitting him. Evidently Summer told them his name was Paul, because when I called him back to me, Brian said something along the lines of, “ah, now ‘Paul’ makes sense.” We raced after the runners and I felt really bad for being so late. We did encounter Summer after she was already on her way back from the turnaround, but we kept going. Most everyone seemed excited to see us, but I think I did get some glares, and one lady made the comment that I shouldn’t be doing that during a race.

On the way back, the same lady made another comment, and then immediately after that, Muad’Dib went rogue and brushed up against the back of another lady’s legs, who freaked out while she was running at full speed. I ended up moving to the next block to get back downtown, since I didn’t want any more grief or to cause any more trouble. I guess next time we’ll just bum around in other areas.

Summer finished the race before we made it back, and then I took Muad’Dib down to the river to try and clean up from the mud puddle he used to cool down. Summer made third in her age division, so she got another little pin, and then we headed home.

We had plans to go out for breakfast, but Summer didn’t feel well and had to soak in the tub for a while. Once she made it out, we ended up going to New China for lunch instead. Then we came home and started to doze off on the couch for a while. I woke up gasping for air multiple times, but didn’t make myself get up until much later, which hurt a bit.

Summer wanted to go to the Tech graduation for some of her employees, so I ran Muad’Dib over to my parents’ house to see if Mom wanted me to grill steaks for Mother’s Day. Then Summer and I went to graduation while Eaddie and Eli went out for cap and gown pictures with Dad. Summer got lots of pictures, and then we found the graduates outside once they were done.

The drive home was a little tense because for some reason Summer didn’t expect that I’d still be having a pretty hard time in general. She pouted, but I pushed through a trip to the Neighborhood Market anyway, to get everything we needed for grilling. The kids were watching TV when we got home, so we went to the bedroom and watched Neal Brennan: Crazy Good, a stand-up special until she crashed from her long day.

Normally I prefer my cookies to be a little less ambiguous.