hole in one

I made myself another bologna sandwich for brunch, then started picking through things to find their permanent homes. That left things pretty scattered. I got a notification that Summer had low pressure in one of her tires, and by the time I got her on the phone, it had dropped 20 more pounds. She stopped in Maumelle and eventually worked out a tow because she didn’t have the emergency jack in her car.

I started putting together the nicer shoe storage rack I got from Vine, and it was way more involved than I expected. Eaddie was slow to get around, but came out to eat some leftover pizza just after Summer and I decided to get a bucket of chicken.

Summer picked up the food on the way home and we ate in tense air. Eaddie kept complaining about how she didn’t like KFC. They gave us all dark meat for some reason, so we didn’t get any breasts or wings. Summer cleaned up and went to bed while Eaddie went to the gym and I finished up the shoe rack. I continued to organize, but left the shoe rack empty so Eaddie could organize her own shoes how she wanted them.

I think that even Sisyphus would hate his uphill climb.

wasted space

I slept hard with hard dreams. Summer went to work in Conway after cancelling her oncology appointment. Eaddie left to meet with her advisor and make her class schedule. I managed to get out of bed and make a bologna sandwich to eat over the sink.

It was quiet all day, so I finished my new hire paperwork and then did my best to motivate myself to clean. The kids eventually came back, and Eaddie started some laundry while they watched TV. I climbed around and scrubbed some difficult spots in the shower. Summer had a relatively short day, so we planned to meet at Cici’s for an early dinner.

The kids and I met her there after she finished at the gym. While we were eating, I spotted Josh as he came in to meet his wife and kids. We had a laugh about him still not having his house finished. Then Eaddie rode home with Summer, and Eli and I took the fast car home.

I tried to take Muad’Dib out for a run later in the evening, but the Onewheel appeared dead. I couldn’t get any lights out of it. We came back in and I had a pretty heavy anxiety attack while vacuuming his fur. It was a short night after that.

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On Hopes and Incense

Summer went to the gym and Eaddie went to church. I had a slice of pizza left over from I know not when, and then showered in time to get to Lelan’s to help grill pork chops before everyone else showed up. It was the second Ngày Giỗ since Bác Vân’s passing, and she had me grill pork chops and an assortment of sausages to add to the smorgasbord of other traditional and favorite dishes they would offer to those in the Great Beyond. The girls showed up after Summer finished mowing the lawn. Julie and Kevin arrived pretty close to the agreed-upon time. Our parents were, as expected, last.

Those who chose to, prayed. Dad made it a point not to, out of respect for his own faith. There didn’t seem to be any difference to me whether you prayed to a deity with or without incense, but I carried that learned respect with me when it came time to bless the food. I felt the emotion and the want, but I knew that to me, there was only the present, and I was there to enjoy the company of my family.

We visited as we waited for the incense to self-extinguish. There was something very traditional about sharing cold dishes after they had been offered to those passed. Lelan evidently didn’t get the message about my customary flattened, boiled eggs, and with fewer and fewer people upholding these traditions, I wondered who would slice The Sausage that I Like™ to eat with steamed rice on the anniversary of my own passing.

I didn’t love that Randall wasn’t there, but he is also a man of many cultures. At least having fewer people made eating around the table easier. After we ate, Dad had a slideshow of a trip to Europe they took before I was born. I was neither nostalgic nor sentimental about any of it, but we did eventually find a photo of me in a bunny costume.

When we all parted ways, Lelan, Stephen, Mom, and Dad all headed to the cemetery. I ran home first to get Muad’Dib, since I figured it was important that somebody new should be a part of the tradition. Once Mom and Dad showed up, they burned some more incense and offered fruit as, I suppose, dessert. We stood in the shade and visited until the incense burned out, and then we all went home.

I stopped at Casey’s to redeem a free drink and ran into Rusty, riding home from a day’s work at Atwood’s, on a small Shadow. We chatted for a little while before I eventually made it home. Eaddie had left again, so I talked Summer into going swimming at my parents’ house. We took Muad’Dib along, and Mom was watering plants when we got there. The pool was just about perfect, but we couldn’t convince Muad’Dib to dip his toes in the water.

We headed home after dark, and Summer went straight to bed. Eaddie came home really late and talked to me for a long while. She shared about her own day out, and then tried to help by telling me to be selfish and buy a sailboat. We talked about dreams, expectations, and the paralysis of choice. It doesn’t seem to me that there is a real choice, so for now, we’ll all float on.

Good news is on the way.

Destinare

I slept pretty hard last night and didn’t set an alarm, so it was lucky that I woke up just in time to get cleaned up and hit the road to make it to Stephen’s visitation. We decided to take Muad’Dib with us since Eaddie had plans to go boating with some friends. Summer and I just drove ourselves and planned to meet my parents and Julie in Bismark.

We made it to Ola where we stopped for some Chester’s Chicken and a dried up chimichanga to tide us over. The drive down Highway 7 was mostly fun, but before we got to Jessieville, a Camaro and I got stuck behind a long line of people driving 15 miles under the speed limit. The internal monologue was not kind. The external monologue wasn’t much better.

Once we got into Hot Springs, I decided to stop at the Franklin’s Charging Station to get a little bit of juice just in case we were stuck out in the middle of nowhere for a while. I figured we would be leaving Muad’Dib in the car for a while as well, and I wasn’t sure how much power that would take. It wasn’t as nice of a place as their Little Rock location, but it was fine to be in a place just outside of town.

We made it to the Bismarck First Methodist Church just after the rest of my family, and we let Muad’Dib out to stretch his legs. He made a quick loop through the church before we put him back in the car. I wasn’t terribly impressed with the service because it felt very impersonal to me. We didn’t really even stay long enough to visit with the family for very long. Once they had the flag unfolded and folded back up again, we left.

Julie was pretty hangry, so I suggested Fisherman’s Wharf for their dog-friendly deck over the water. When we got there, I was surprised that there wasn’t a wait for outside seating, since there appeared to be a line of people waiting to sit inside. We made it through the restaurant to our table, and Muad’Dib had lots of fun looking around, and staring at geese in the water. It took awhile for our food to come out. Letting our waitress, named Destiny, choose my entire meal seemed only fitting.

My food was good, but Julie complained about her fillet. I ate what she didn’t, and I agreed that it was overcooked and under-seasoned. The gator tail appetizer was also an incredibly small portion of incredibly small pieces. At least they tasted pretty good.

We parted ways after our early dinner. Julie took Mom and Dad back through Little Rock again, and Summer and I went into Hot Springs to wander around. I first took us through the car wash a couple of times since I wouldn’t be back again, presumably ever. Then we made it downtown where the Tesla chargers were all occupied. Luckily, the power pole right behind the available spot had a piece of plywood with multiple varied outlets available. I got my mobile connector out, and wouldn’t you know, the very first plug I tried was energized and we were up and going.

Muad’Dib had a great time walking the strip off-leash with us. He behaved super well, except for one moment when he wouldn’t stop sniffing a poodle walking the other direction. I held onto his e-collar remote after that, and he immediately returned to my side any time I beeped him. We walked down a ways, crossed the street, and walked down to find some ice cream. Summer asked for a pup cup, and though that wasn’t something they normally did, the girl gave her a cup of whipped cream anyway. We sat outside, fed him, and shared a banana split. Then it was back to the car.

I filled up some water bottles, and then we loaded up to head home. I let the car drive the entire way home up Highway 7, and it did fabulously. Muad’Dib appreciated not sliding back and forth in the seat from hitting the curves at three times the recommended speed, and Summer didn’t have to stop to throw up. I just accepted that the drive would be less exciting, and more relaxing instead.

I stopped at Casey’s for a freebie, and then we made it home. Eaddie was back and didn’t bother coming out of her room to greet us. I took Muad’Dib out in the dark for a short, cool, evening run. We went straight to my parents’ house, then a modified route back home. He did great, and was ready for bed once we got home.

My Vine reviewed appeared to be up to date enough that my review period was over. The girls both went to bed, I vacuumed Muad’Dib and gave him a spritz of cologne, and eventually went to sleep.

Choose your own adventure. Or not. Whatever.

Baths All Around

I couldn’t leave Muad’Dib outside, so I brought him in for a vacuum to get some of the smelly dirt off of him, then washed his paws in the tub. By the end of it, I was satisfied enough to let him sleep with us. We slept in pretty late, too. When I finally got up, I warmed my leftover SuperSONIC Breakfast Burrito in a skillet, then continued to tinker with more Vine stuff. I started to feel a little sick and decided to take a bubble bath to relax for a while, and as soon as I got settled in, Summer asked if I wanted to get lunch with her.

We ended up going out for an early dinner, not long after Eaddie woke up and made herself some ramen. I drove to Mulan’s to meet her like she said, but had to wait 25 minutes for her to show up because she thought “I need to get dressed” meant it would take me so long that I would have to tell her when I was on the way.

Dinner was pretty good, but I’ve been stuffed all week. As we left, there was a big wreck on Main and Knoxville that had traffic diverted, so I spun around and went back up to Parkway. We got home and Summer had a bath. I tried to keep up with Vine reviews as multiple deliveries arrived today, and I eventually took Muad’Dib out for a run.

We made pretty decent time for how hot it was. We got chased down by a dog that slipped away from its owner, so we turned around to return it. I was proud of Muad’Dib for minding so well. We got around to my parents’ house and visited very briefly before making it home.

It was time to give Muad’Dib another proper bath with some new shampoo I got from Vine. He was immediately warry, and hid from me outside when we got home. Eaddie got him back inside and I vacuumed him, bathed him, blow dried him outside, then vacuumed him some more before bed.1

I was up quite a while later, finishing up some more reviews and getting lost in thoughts. A somber weekend approaches.

Thinkin’ how you left me for dead.

HSTIBBQ

I didn’t think we were getting lunch today because there wasn’t a break in the schedule, so I skipped the keynote and went to Sonic for a breakfast burrito before going to the conference. Being able to eat while the car drives me is really the killer app. I walked into a session and saw Jason, so we caught up briefly before things got started.

After the first session, I saw that they had barbecue for lunch, so I circled the vendor area, found Ben, and then we sat down to eat instead of going to another session. Craig was there as well, so I had him sign my badge as a local celebrity. After lunch, Randy, Dustin, and I sat in on Ben’s presentation about APSRC data projects, and then I had one more session on cyber forensics before the end of the day.

The other Craig and Dustin had to get to The Blitzed Pig early enough that Craig could get set up for karaoke in the evening, so we planned to have lunch super early at Fisherman’s Wharf. I got another car wash before going to the room to clean up. Then I met Randy and Kyle at the restaurant. When Dustin, Craig, Ben, and then David showed up, we realized that we really needed a bigger table and moved to the back corner. David ended up covering us, which was unexpected. We had a great time though, and I got way more full than I expected on my filet Oscar.

I went back to the hotel to clean some of the humidity off of myself, and then called Summer to spend some time catching up. I eventually made my way to The Blitzed Pig for karaoke and drinks on IK’s dime. It was not at all my type of shindig, and it was still super humid outside, but we stuck around through the good, the bad, and the ugly. By the end of it, We had a ton of drink tickets left, so I gave the wheel of them to a waitress when she finally came back around, and asked for as much Fireball as she would bring us.

A little while later, a guy came out with a tray of individual shots, so I poured as many of them into a big plastic cup as I could before he picked up the tray and walked off. He didn’t seem keen on me drinking it all, but my goal was to walk out anyway. They eventually did door prizes, and Randy and I both won. He traded me his Tosy glowing disc for my SSD enclosure, and then we left. I made it back to the room to dump my cup into an old bottle, and I’ll have Fireball for another day.

But you’re still alive.

Big, Bad Waffle

I hardly got any sleep again last night because I stayed up too late writing reviews, and then when I finally laid down in bed, my mind was racing. I eventually passed out and woke up to a bright orange sun peeking over the horizon beyond the lake. I didn’t take much time to enjoy that before taking a shower so I could meet the guys for breakfast.

I met Randy, Kyle, and Jim at Phil’s Family Restaurant across town, and it was a cute little restaurant in an old house. I ordered their waffle special, and it was a ton of food. The waffle was awful though, and had a rubbery pancake texture like it was just pressed into a waffle maker after it had already been cooked as a pancake. It wasn’t crispy on the outside at all, and they charged me an additional $1.29 for a tiny cup of peanut butter. The servings on the eggs and hashbrowns were enormous though. It said it came with two eggs, but there had to be at least four scrambled on my plate.

I think Randy was the only one that had anything scheduled today. I was pretty sure I told Maggie I wanted another class in the afternoon, but I didn’t get anything. Jim disappeared, and I don’t know if Randy took Kyle to sneak into another class, but I ended up heading back to my room by myself, but I stopped at Proglide Car Wash first because I was long overdue.

I ended up signing up for an unlimited plan because they had a $10 special for their best wash. When I got around to the entry, I saw that they had a guide that I was worried about hitting, so I stopped and talked to one of the employees. He insisted they had never had any trouble with Teslas, so I took the chance. I wasn’t super excited when the two of them then got some soapy sponges out to try and scrub off the worst parts. I’ve had bug guts with grit in them, and I didn’t want them to scratch my paint. I let it happen though, and made it through the wash without incident. I stopped to vacuum my car, checked the rims and paint, and then went back around for a second wash to get some more of the bird poop that it couldn’t remove the first time. The guy cleaned it off by hand, and then I finally made it back to the hotel.

I worked all day on Vine reviews to try and get my ratio up, and I’m still showing only 80% reviewed for some reason. I can’t seem to figure out how they’re calculating their number. Beverly Hills Cop II was on, so I watched most of that, followed by some of Beverly Hills Cop. That seemed counterintuitive, but what do I know? A storm started to roll in, and I watched part of the new RoboCop remake. Eventually I met Randy and Kyle downstairs and took them downtown to meet Todd at The Rooftop Bar for the ProMAS social.

The food and drinks, and the outdoor restaurant atmosphere was more my speed, even if our server appeared to be the only one serving the entire restaurant, but the guys wanted to move on to the Howard social across town. We went straight to H2O HAWG, the usual biker bar that Woody rents out. We were followed by Sam, the Jessieville coordinator that we had met at the previous place, and we chatted among a small crowd. Kyle, Sam, and I played some darts, and I won a Yeti mug in a drawing at the end of the night.

We got back to the hotel and it was a slow wind down for me. I tried to crunch some more numbers, but I could just never make it work out. Hopefully it all comes together in a couple of days though.

Wing and a Prayer

Greatest HSTI Album

I had so much trouble getting to sleep last night. I had to go outside a couple of times to drain the basement because the water was nearly up to the door. I even had to turn the pump on again this morning because it was full again. I got up with my normal work alarm and got out the door without too much trouble. I stopped at Burger King for a croissant, and then hit Highway 7 like a madman.

The roads were completely wet, but I didn’t encounter much rain. It wasn’t enough to make anything particularly dangerous, and it was fun to triple the suggested speed warnings and get white knuckled on the way to Hot Springs again like I used to do in the olden days. I carved off nearly half an hour of the estimated drive, and got to experience a newer highway that I hadn’t been on before once I got closer to town.

There weren’t a ton of people there when I arrived, and that was because the first class didn’t actually start until nine. I worked so hard to get there at 7:30, and I could have really used the extra hour of sleep. Randy, Jim, and Kyle eventually showed up for a little bit of breakfast before we split into our different rooms.

My network security class was mostly stuff I had actually just done this year in North Little Rock, but they didn’t tell us that in the course description. I breezed through the morning, then had cold, boxed burgers with the guys, and then had a short afternoon wrapping things up.

I got to the hotel early, but it took about half an hour for the old, seemingly clueless lady behind the counter to process the three people in front of me. I did get checked in and up to the room to rest for a bit though. Jim was humorously the last one out of class, and then I met Randy, Kyle, and Jay downstairs. Jay drove out just to visit us for some shooting and dinner. We drove forever to get to a shooting range in the mountains. There was one other guy there with some high-powered stuff, and they took turns blowing chunks out of the mountainside.

I borrowed Summer’s gun and shot a few rounds. Then Jay let me shoot his pistol and I blew several holes into a coffee can before it flew off its post. I was pretty proud of those shots. Summer’s gun was super small, so it was much harder to hold onto. The guys had their fill, and then we headed back to town to have dinner at Back Porch Grill.

It was a pretty quiet night there. I split a special with Randy, but our steak was super bland. It was cooked well, and was obviously a pretty decent cut of meat, but it just didn’t have enough seasoning. The lobster and shrimp were okay, but I think the scallops were my favorite. After we ate, Randy, Kyle, and I thought we’d go to A&W, but they were closed. My second suggestion, Kringles and Kones, was closed permanently. That took us to a whiskey tasting at Hotel Hot Springs with ProMAS. I had a bunch of banana “moonshine” that had been mixed with coconut syrup and orange juice, and it was delicious. We sat and the guys talked for a while, and then it was back to the room.

I spent most of my night alone writing Vine reviews to get my ratio up over 90%. I’m still not quite there, so hopefully they’ll get approved quickly as I finish them up tomorrow.

Whatever you do, don’t touch the water.

Miscellany Friday

I slept in pretty late today, then got up for a shower so I could get lunch before going to Morrilton. I opened Eaddie’s bedroom door so Muad’Dib could find her after I left, and she sat right up and wanted to go to lunch with us, so we left in the rain and picked Summer up at the wash. Summer was having a bad day at work, so while she was ranting about that, Eaddie and I tried to decide where to eat. She chose Stoby’s, so we made it back across town and found a seat.

We devoured a large cheese dip. Eaddie bragged about her Arrow Burger, but Summer hated her French Dip. My taco salad was fine, but nothing special. While we ate, David spotted me through the window and I went to talk to him. I let him know that I was leaving the school for Bitec, and of course he said to reach out if Howard could do anything for us in my new role.

After lunch, we had to rush Eaddie home so she could go to a flute lesson. I took Summer back to the wash, and then headed to Morrilton about half an hour early. That ended up being a good thing, because traffic came to a stop due to another overturned semi truck. It looked like some trees had burned up around it, so that was there for quite a while.

Once I got to Bitec, Teisha actually made me sign my social security card. I felt bad, because nobody had ever made me do that in 42 years. It felt like defacing it. She got me paperwork to take to the clinic for a drug screen, and that didn’t take terribly long. I felt a little sick to the stomach after that, so I stopped at Casey’s for a drink on the way back. I still had more new hire paperwork to do, so I headed on home from there.

I stopped in Blackwell and Atkins for more drinks, then decided to drop into AT&T when I got back to town. Kevin was on vacation, but I talked to Hope and David for a bit. They said Brandon was moving to the IT department for the state, which was cool for him. They started to get busy, so I moved on to Splash and cleaned the seat covers in the Model Y before moving them to my car so Summer could use her own.

We both left there and went home for the night. She bathed for a while and I did some Vine reviews. Then we laid on the couch for a while. I should have gotten up to take Muad’Dib on a run earlier, but I didn’t see any rain on the radar. Just as I started to get up to take him, the sky opened up and dumped a whole bunch of water on us.

We stayed in and I baked a frozen pizza. Eaddie left to go bowling with friends, so the two of us just sat on the couch the entire night until bedtime. Summer made a bologna sandwich and discovered our rat had chewed into the back end of the loaf of bread she just bought, so we’ll need to get more aggressive with the traps.

We’ll die on that mole hill.

Just Quit Already

Last night was the first night I slept in my own bed since we bought the house. I just needed some time and space to ground myself. I made it to work and looked at my new-hire stuff for Bitec, then talked to Randy about it. He was immediately supportive, and we chatted for a bit before I went back to my desk to draft let Gemini draft a resignation letter.

It was pretty quiet after that. I spent more time working on my paperwork than anything for actual work. By lunch time, it had started to rain pretty heavily. Randy drove Jay and me to BJ’s where we met Kyle and Jim for some white people food. It stopped raining by the time we left, but we were already pretty soaked.

After lunch, I told Maggie about my job offer, and after some quick math, we determined that today was essentially my last real day at work. I have a conference in Hot Springs all next week, followed by a couple sick days for Summer’s oncology appointment, and finally two vacation days. I’ll only have one day left after that, so I might as well take a sick day. I spent the rest of the day packing up my things so I could take them home.

The afternoon actually went by pretty slowly, as the rain started again. Summer said she was making dinner, and Maristella was there with Eaddie. Traffic was super bad through Conway, but I eventually made it home. She made pork chops, green beans, and mashed potatoes that were all pretty good.

After dinner, I took Muad’Dib for a run to try and avoid any more rain. We went around the basin trail because I was afraid it might have flooded, and on the way out of that area we saw my parents drive by. We tried to follow them, assuming they were going to the Neighborhood Market, but they weren’t. We sat at a bench there, realized they were already back home, and headed back across town to find them.

After a quick dip in the creek, we visited my parents. Then we made it home where Summer and I had a chat outside on the porch. Neither of us have a clue how to make any of this right, and both of us are miserable. It was actually a bit of a relief that she admitted it herself. I don’t know whether any of it can be made better, but all I really hope is to find some common ground where we can stop resenting each other all of the time.

Of course the evening after that wouldn’t have been complete without its own unique set of frustrations. I’ve been at the point, for a while, where I truly don’t know what the preferred outcome would be. Timing is everything, and that fucking sucks.

I wrapped it all up by giving Muad’Dib a bath, since he had taken a dip in the creek on our run. I had an anxiety attack in the middle of it, but that’s just life now. He hated the bath, but then he loved being vacuumed, and the bow on top was wrestling with me and Eaddie before bed.

kys