Tag: frustration

Uncategorised

Division of Duties

It rained all day today, and the latest version of FSD won’t let me just step on the accelerator for an unlimited amount of time any more to keep it moving along at higher speeds. That meant I had to drive for a few miles until things got a little less foggy and misty. I was a little bit late, but Randy was still at the conference and Kyle didn’t come by the office in the morning.

Jim and Jay came in and were going to help me hang a TV, but Jim ended up having to pick up Maggie because she was dropping her husband’s truck off for a tint job. Jay and I got the old TV down, but the screws for the new TV were too big to fit into the holes on the old mount, so we were stuck again. I don’t know why the whole move has been such a priority, but the secretary called Maggie again to check on a timeline, and we were later asked to write up a statement about the whole ordeal.

I met Kyle at David’s Burgers for lunch in the rain, and they were pretty good but slow for how many people were in the kitchen. I don’t love their fries, but I love that they’re unlimited if you can ever catch someone with a fresh bowl. I do like the seasoning on their burgers, but every time I ask for “all of the extras” they just give me the typical burger build instead of the jalapeños, grilled onions, and everything else.

The afternoon dragged on a bit. Randy showed up after the conference and we all caught up. I had been bouncing between tasks all day, but my biggest accomplishment was shrinking my SQL database so the drive would no longer be completely full.

I had to stop and charge on the way home due to the rain, but I ended up getting a leg cramp and wanted to get out to stretch anyway. Luckily it wasn’t raining and I paced the parking lot for a bit, then got back in and made it home. Summer had dinner ready and we ate some kind of weird orange glazed hamburger meat and green beans over rice. It was sort of “Hamburger Helper Meets the Far East.” It was alright, but I think it would have been far better on chicken.

Eaddie was helping at a swim meet, so the two of us just had dinner and a calm evening together since she wasn’t stressed from work and I didn’t run the dogs in the wet. Then it was a slightly earlier night to bed.

Who’s responsible for this???

Uncategorised

Don’t Break Anything

I got out a little earlier today and had a slower drive in to work to save some battery power. I could have made it home on the charge, but I still ended up supercharging on the way home anyway.

Randy was out at a conference, so it was just Maggie and me all day. She was in better spirits after her friend passed yesterday. Randy emailed us some things to do, but it seemed like those weren’t entirely our job to do. It’s confusing what we’re actually responsible for because the district is so overstaffed. We personally handled much more at both of my previous districts. On top of that, people kept knocking at the door all day, pulling me away from whatever I was avoiding.

I actually didn’t even take a lunch, but Maggie made me eat her leftovers. I can never tell if she’s just worried about me being hungry or if she’s just genuinely not hungry enough to finish her food. It’s a pretty regular occurrence for her to have leftovers, so I try not to feel guilty about eating stuff she gives me. I thought I’d leave a little early because I never left, but I only got out about ten minutes early.

I stopped in Conway to charge a bit just so I wouldn’t have to shuffle cars late at night. Then I got home and ran the dogs to the Ridgewood Brothers to see if I could catch Robert. I actually saw Grant, and he seemed to be doing a little bit better. I think their whole situation has probably just gotten to the point where you throw up and then start to feel a little bit better.

We got rained on a bit as we made our way back across town. Just as it started to sprinkle, we encountered Hannah driving the opposite direction. She stopped to chat and we caught up for a little bit before we continued on to my parents’ house. By then it had started to rain pretty hard, so my leg was soaked by the time we got home. The dogs were good though, so they got hot dogs before dinner.

Someone had brought a bunch of Vine packages in for me, so I sorted all of that before Summer got home. The morning went by fast, the afternoon went by slowly, and then the evening flew by. Summer had a bad day at work, and I think we’re both feeling pretty unsatisfied in general. We chatted for a bit before she went to bed. Eaddie got home late and went straight to her room, and then I crashed as quickly as I could.

You broke it.

Uncategorised

Bummers

Traffic was pretty bad on the way in this morning, but I got there. Randy was early again, and we all sat and chatted for a while in the morning. Maggie was stressing out due to something happening with a friend or family, so she ended up taking the afternoon off. I tried to help Jim with some stuff over the phone and was mostly successful, and Randy was in his executive team meeting all morning.

Lunch came a little late, and I met Kyle, Jim, Randy, and Jay at Brewski’s for their version of Taco Tuesday. I remembered thinking their burger was okay last time, but it was still bar food. I was even less impressed with their tacos, so I’ll never order those again. Everything was incredibly dry. Even the limes fell apart into pulp when we squeezed them. I actually ended up stopping at McDonald’s on the way back to get some fries, which were actually pretty good since I went to the one on McCain this time.

Sometime in the afternoon, Greg stopped by our office and for some reason wanted a tour of our shop area. I had a feeling someone put him up to it, but eventually Randy came back inside and said I couldn’t charge my car in there any more. That’s a pretty big bummer, especially in the winter, and it may be the straw that prompted the camel to update his resumé. It’s all about minimizing my time away from home, and if a few pennies worth of electricity is going to keep me away any longer, then it’s just not going to be sustainable for me.

I got home without any trouble and took the dogs out for a run. They weren’t great, so they didn’t get any treats when we got home, and I cut down their dinner a little as well. Muad’Dib hadn’t been eating some of his meals anyway.

I took care of some large Vine stuff before Summer got home, and she didn’t have a great day at work either. Then I had to fire off a message to the clinic because I was completely out of amlodipine for the next morning. Luckily they phoned it in to Walgreens and I was able to pick it up just a few minutes before they closed.

After I got back home, Dad said Uncle Tuan wasn’t doing great, so it looks like we’ll be going to visit. I don’t really know what happened to him for the past several years, but I know I’ll have a very different memory of him than what we’ll find, and he likely won’t remember me at all.

No Win Tuesday

Uncategorised

Long Day for What

I remember waking up frequently after a whole lot of dreams, but I couldn’t remember anything about them. I finally got out of bed around eight, long before anyone else. I tinkered with the Vine Helper notifications a bit, and then had a bit of anxiety as the item drops started flowing. I got meds sorted for the week and the girls got up and around. Summer went to the gym for a while, and Eaddie hid in her room all day.

I took a shower and then took the dogs out for a really early run, which was good because it started to rain after that. Summer said she wanted a steak and baked potato for dinner, but then didn’t press it when it started to rain. I ended up going out to pick up some Panda Express instead, since I had a BOGO coupon, and then we watched The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent with some popcorn. I actually thought it was a pretty fun movie, and it was great to see Nick Cage back – not that he went anywhere.

Nothing.

Uncategorised

Freeziots

I got out early again today and made it to the office. It wasn’t very long before Maggie texted and asked me to let maintenance into our shop to unload a bunch of stuff. I didn’t realize they had a trailer full of shelving and other crap. I let them in, but then they just stood around doing nothing because I couldn’t tell them exactly where everything was going. I assumed they would just bring it inside, but instead they got back into their trucks. I very nearly just closed back up and went inside, because the cold had me in a coughing fit.

Maggie eventually showed up and I went back inside. There was something going on in the conference room, so there were a bunch of ladies in and out of our restroom. I helped bring some stuff back from the front, helped Jim over the phone, and generally tried to be useful until lunch time. I suggested David’s Burgers, but Kyle preferred The Purple Cow for some reason. The food wasn’t bad, but it just didn’t seem as bespoke.

The afternoon was mostly dull, though the maintenance crew showed up again to try and hang a TV in the lobby. The gringo didn’t want to make a call on how to hang it, and the four or more Hispanics just giggled amongst themselves. After an hour or more, the TV still didn’t get hung and I would have done it myself if I had longer screws.

It was so cold out that I had to stop and Supercharge on the way home. I had went into Five Guys for some fries and a restroom break, then made it home to run the dogs. We make a new record at 11.5mph average for 3.4 miles, and a top speed of 22.2mph. Dad met us at the end of their driveway, and the dogs made a mad dash the whole way down.

Summer was home when we got back, so I had to play Musical Cars to get everybody charged. The dogs got hot dogs and food, and I warmed up the rest of my fries. Eaddie and Eli came in and did homework in front of the TV with Summer, and I cleaned up the kitchen until everyone settled in for the night. I finished early, and may have to dress more warmly for tomorrow.

The dog prefers the ice. I don’t know what to say.

Uncategorised

Corporate Grin

I had a pretty rough start this morning in spite of sleeping a bit longer. I got to work a few minutes late, and only then realized that I got all the way there and had forgotten my backpack with my laptop at home. I made my way inside and found a laptop to use, but had to join the domain and basically install anything I wanted to use. Fortunately there was absolutely nothing going on.

The day dragged as I dawdled, eventually coming to another lunch hour on my own. I landed at Taco Bell just up the road, and was surprised at all of the eerily cheery faces. I knew something wasn’t quite right, and then I finally recognized that there were at least three or four people there from corporate. I don’t know if it was their doing or not, but my food was awesome, and the service was great. They even had chip ice, which was deliciously crunchy. One of the corporate heads even said something about it, remarking that she didn’t think any of their Taco Bells had that kind of ice. I told her I loved it, so maybe it’ll spread.

The afternoon dragged on some more, and I left a few minutes early so I could get home and retrieve my car from Clearview where Summer had dropped it off for a tint job. She was short staffed at the lube, so I got Dad from the old house where they had been remodeling. Mike was super excited to chat about the car, and charged me even less than what he had said previously.

Dad drove the Model Y back to the lube for Summer, and then we went to check out the old house quickly before I headed home to run the dogs. They had a good run, got to see Dad, then made it home just before dark. I got them fed while Summer picked up some KFC on the way home. Then we ate and settled in quickly.

Eaddie got home late from something, and I was upset that for some reason both of the Murano keys were gone in spite of the car sitting in the driveway. Now nobody knows where the second key went, and I’m just sat there like Surprised Pikachu that my stuff has gone missing.

    ⢀⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣤⣶⣶
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠉⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠛⠉⠁⠀⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⠿⠿⠿⠻⠿⠿⠟⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣄⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠠⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⢰⣹⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣭⣷⠀⠀⠀⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠈⠉⠀⠀⠤⠄⠀⠀⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢾⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠠⣿⣿⣷⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠁⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢹⣿⣿
    ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿
Uncategorised

Dishpite

Summer said last night that Eaddie wanted to go to Conway with her today to shop for some pants, but Eaddie was still in bed when I woke up. She didn’t get up for a while, but was disappointed when Summer didn’t wake her. I figured it was because I expressed frustration that Eaddie never wants to shop for things when I tell her they’re on sale, but I still expected them to go.

I spent a while cleaning up the kitchen, frustrated that the girls were seemingly making as big of a mess as possible on purpose. With very little thought, all of the dirty dishes could be stacked neatly and cleanly to the left of the sink, but instead they had dirty dishes on every single flat surface in the kitchen and dining area. Summer fessed up to doing it out of her own frustration and spite, which just upset me further because they’re always calling me the mean one.

The girls ended up going out to shop locally, so I cleaned up and took the dogs for a run, which soaked my legs in sandy slush again. I either need to get myself a fender for the Onewheel, or tell Summer exactly which one I want so she can gift it to me, since she’s so adamant about wanting to gift things. It was a relatively short walk, though, and we cut through the basin trail where there were still a bunch of kids playing in the show in the distant field. We visited with Dad briefly before making it home, and Stilgar just kept wanting to go back out and play in the snow. I guess he had already trampled most of it in the backyard, and he still wanted to play in the fluff.

I cleaned up a bit and tinkered with some things around the house. The girls got home and did some laundry, and I was eventually hungry for dinner by myself since they had a late lunch together when they went shopping. I ended up driving around a little bit because I couldn’t decide on what to eat. Taco Villa was closed, so I ended up at Wendy’s. The service wasn’t great, but the food was all actually really good. I guess that’s what really mattered in the end.

Everyone wound down pretty quickly, and I tried not to mess up my sleep schedule too much. Eaddie has school tomorrow, but North Little Rock will be closed again. Essential staff are expected to work after a late start, but Summer and I both have doctor appointments tomorrow morning. I hate missing a short day, but whaddya do?

Tax Man Cometh

Uncategorised

Hot Cold Fast Slow

Summer had to go shovel snow to open the wash today. I slowly cleaned up more leftovers all day, starting with the last slice of breakfast pizza. The snow was still steadily melting, and I thought I might be able to take the dogs out for a proper run in the afternoon. Eaddie was hiding in her room all day, so I ended up taking a bath. I timed it just about right to get out as Summer got home, and then she bathed while I cleaned up the last of the baked potato, dressing, and all but a couple slices of turkey.

I put on The Flash and we watched the last half of that, which I actually enjoyed quite a bit. It felt really silly with the bad CGI in the theaters, but as a movie on television, I really liked it. I didn’t even really remember the last half of the movie, so it was a nice recap.

After the movie, I decided to get out with the dogs. It wasn’t super cold, but there was still a ton of untouched snow in a lot of places. We made it around to the basin trail, but had to stop and turn around because I didn’t trust myself on the Onewheel over snow. When we got to the roundabout, the sidewalk was completely covered so I took my chances. I was surprised that I did pretty well, and only really found one slick spot. I managed to stay on my feet, and we made it around to my parents’ house.

Stilgar was still enjoying burying his face in the unbothered areas of snow, and would push through it like a worm. We made it home for dinner, and the girls had made even more of a mess in the kitchen. They were watching more serial killer crap on TV, so I went to my room for the night.

Filler

Uncategorised

FOMO Anxiety

I burned up all of my Vine orders pretty quickly yesterday on accident, so when a very specific Model 3 accessory just happened to become available after I had been pining after one, I was unable to order it. I don’t know how much of my anxiety that caused last night, but I couldn’t sleep at all. I ended up waking up right around two when the counter reset, and of course it was gone.

My alarm eventually went off and I got going for work. It was cold out, but the car had been preconditioning for a little while and was nice and toasty. I assume it was the crosswinds that caused it to howl down the interstate, because I don’t remember that happening at all the day we got it. It was a very eerie sound, especially to my groggy, sleep-deprived ears. I got to work in plenty of time, passing Randy just before we got to the exit. There was less fanfare than I expected when I got there. It almost seemed to mirror my own experience, but that was fine.

The morning went by pretty quickly, but not much how I expected it to. Things were quieter, possibly because kids weren’t back yet, though we’re several miles from the nearest campus with actual students. I got a text from Cici’s that they were doing their early week deal, and we actually had several takers. Maggie and I met Randy, Kyle, and Jim there. Jim said it wasn’t really pizza, but I countered that for $5, it didn’t have to be as long as it was the right shape.

I actually kept kind of busy in the afternoon, and of the three of us in the office, I was the first one out at the end of the day. I stopped to supercharge more than I needed to make the trip, since the electricity was free. There was a guy there that appeared to be working on the equipment, which I assumed was why it was quite a bit slower than it should have been.

Summer was making some kind of stuffed peppers for dinner when I got home. I took the dogs for a quick run before it got dark, and then Eaddie and Eli came to eat. I messed with some more accessories for both cars, got Summer’s tires aired up again, and then tried to start settling down quickly. I’d felt high-anxiety all day, and was ready for some sleep.

Find Calm

Uncategorised

Thornsday Cleanout

I was jarred awake this morning when Maggie called around eight to ask if I was coming in to work. Maybe she was worried, because I’m always there around seven, but I told them I wasn’t going back for just two days this week. I got out of bed then, since Summer had to go to work anyway. Even Eaddie got up and took a shower, but then she left with friends. I warmed up a plate of some hot turkey, twice-baked potato, and sour dressing instead of going out to eat like I had imagined all night long.

I felt pretty bad all day, and started to fall asleep in the afternoon, but made myself take a shower and take the dogs out for a long run. We caught my parents just as they got back from somewhere, and then we came home so I could clean up the kitchen.

I had spent all day in my head, mad and frustrated with the girls and our living situation, and their habits around the house. I was glad to have the kitchen finished when Summer got home, but she reeked of gasoline. Eaddie got home and mostly stayed in her room as usual, and I dawdled a while longer before making it to bed. My nerves and anxiety were shot.

Ya hya chouhada!