Tag: frustration

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Dishpite

Summer said last night that Eaddie wanted to go to Conway with her today to shop for some pants, but Eaddie was still in bed when I woke up. She didn’t get up for a while, but was disappointed when Summer didn’t wake her. I figured it was because I expressed frustration that Eaddie never wants to shop for things when I tell her they’re on sale, but I still expected them to go.

I spent a while cleaning up the kitchen, frustrated that the girls were seemingly making as big of a mess as possible on purpose. With very little thought, all of the dirty dishes could be stacked neatly and cleanly to the left of the sink, but instead they had dirty dishes on every single flat surface in the kitchen and dining area. Summer fessed up to doing it out of her own frustration and spite, which just upset me further because they’re always calling me the mean one.

The girls ended up going out to shop locally, so I cleaned up and took the dogs for a run, which soaked my legs in sandy slush again. I either need to get myself a fender for the Onewheel, or tell Summer exactly which one I want so she can gift it to me, since she’s so adamant about wanting to gift things. It was a relatively short walk, though, and we cut through the basin trail where there were still a bunch of kids playing in the show in the distant field. We visited with Dad briefly before making it home, and Stilgar just kept wanting to go back out and play in the snow. I guess he had already trampled most of it in the backyard, and he still wanted to play in the fluff.

I cleaned up a bit and tinkered with some things around the house. The girls got home and did some laundry, and I was eventually hungry for dinner by myself since they had a late lunch together when they went shopping. I ended up driving around a little bit because I couldn’t decide on what to eat. Taco Villa was closed, so I ended up at Wendy’s. The service wasn’t great, but the food was all actually really good. I guess that’s what really mattered in the end.

Everyone wound down pretty quickly, and I tried not to mess up my sleep schedule too much. Eaddie has school tomorrow, but North Little Rock will be closed again. Essential staff are expected to work after a late start, but Summer and I both have doctor appointments tomorrow morning. I hate missing a short day, but whaddya do?

Tax Man Cometh

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Hot Cold Fast Slow

Summer had to go shovel snow to open the wash today. I slowly cleaned up more leftovers all day, starting with the last slice of breakfast pizza. The snow was still steadily melting, and I thought I might be able to take the dogs out for a proper run in the afternoon. Eaddie was hiding in her room all day, so I ended up taking a bath. I timed it just about right to get out as Summer got home, and then she bathed while I cleaned up the last of the baked potato, dressing, and all but a couple slices of turkey.

I put on The Flash and we watched the last half of that, which I actually enjoyed quite a bit. It felt really silly with the bad CGI in the theaters, but as a movie on television, I really liked it. I didn’t even really remember the last half of the movie, so it was a nice recap.

After the movie, I decided to get out with the dogs. It wasn’t super cold, but there was still a ton of untouched snow in a lot of places. We made it around to the basin trail, but had to stop and turn around because I didn’t trust myself on the Onewheel over snow. When we got to the roundabout, the sidewalk was completely covered so I took my chances. I was surprised that I did pretty well, and only really found one slick spot. I managed to stay on my feet, and we made it around to my parents’ house.

Stilgar was still enjoying burying his face in the unbothered areas of snow, and would push through it like a worm. We made it home for dinner, and the girls had made even more of a mess in the kitchen. They were watching more serial killer crap on TV, so I went to my room for the night.

Filler

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FOMO Anxiety

I burned up all of my Vine orders pretty quickly yesterday on accident, so when a very specific Model 3 accessory just happened to become available after I had been pining after one, I was unable to order it. I don’t know how much of my anxiety that caused last night, but I couldn’t sleep at all. I ended up waking up right around two when the counter reset, and of course it was gone.

My alarm eventually went off and I got going for work. It was cold out, but the car had been preconditioning for a little while and was nice and toasty. I assume it was the crosswinds that caused it to howl down the interstate, because I don’t remember that happening at all the day we got it. It was a very eerie sound, especially to my groggy, sleep-deprived ears. I got to work in plenty of time, passing Randy just before we got to the exit. There was less fanfare than I expected when I got there. It almost seemed to mirror my own experience, but that was fine.

The morning went by pretty quickly, but not much how I expected it to. Things were quieter, possibly because kids weren’t back yet, though we’re several miles from the nearest campus with actual students. I got a text from Cici’s that they were doing their early week deal, and we actually had several takers. Maggie and I met Randy, Kyle, and Jim there. Jim said it wasn’t really pizza, but I countered that for $5, it didn’t have to be as long as it was the right shape.

I actually kept kind of busy in the afternoon, and of the three of us in the office, I was the first one out at the end of the day. I stopped to supercharge more than I needed to make the trip, since the electricity was free. There was a guy there that appeared to be working on the equipment, which I assumed was why it was quite a bit slower than it should have been.

Summer was making some kind of stuffed peppers for dinner when I got home. I took the dogs for a quick run before it got dark, and then Eaddie and Eli came to eat. I messed with some more accessories for both cars, got Summer’s tires aired up again, and then tried to start settling down quickly. I’d felt high-anxiety all day, and was ready for some sleep.

Find Calm

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Thornsday Cleanout

I was jarred awake this morning when Maggie called around eight to ask if I was coming in to work. Maybe she was worried, because I’m always there around seven, but I told them I wasn’t going back for just two days this week. I got out of bed then, since Summer had to go to work anyway. Even Eaddie got up and took a shower, but then she left with friends. I warmed up a plate of some hot turkey, twice-baked potato, and sour dressing instead of going out to eat like I had imagined all night long.

I felt pretty bad all day, and started to fall asleep in the afternoon, but made myself take a shower and take the dogs out for a long run. We caught my parents just as they got back from somewhere, and then we came home so I could clean up the kitchen.

I had spent all day in my head, mad and frustrated with the girls and our living situation, and their habits around the house. I was glad to have the kitchen finished when Summer got home, but she reeked of gasoline. Eaddie got home and mostly stayed in her room as usual, and I dawdled a while longer before making it to bed. My nerves and anxiety were shot.

Ya hya chouhada!

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Down and Pout

I started to feel a bronchial cough coming on late Sunday, and by Monday morning I was feeling chills and aches. The head cold came on quickly after that, and it wasn’t long before I was riding a >102º fever. I basically stayed in bed the entirety of Monday through Tuesday morning. By then, my back was hurting so badly that I couldn’t get comfortable in the bed for more than about a minute. I still felt pretty terrible, but I was able to get up and move around the house to warm up some turkey soup. I think I ate over 20 mandarin oranges within about 20 hours.

I remember Eaddie wanted to go to the park both days. I spent a few hours trying to clean up the kitchen before Summer got home. She took a bath, and I started really craving a cheeseburger. I should have gone to get it myself, but she insisted. After harassing me to place the order, then stopping in the bathroom, then taking Eaddie along for the ride as she got home, they finally made it home with my cold food. I could have finished my meal twice over in the time it took them, and all they could do was call me mean for saying as much.

My heart raced for a few hours after that, and the metoprolol didn’t do much to keep it under 100bpm. At least my blood pressure was fine. I finally took a shower, which did help me feel a little bit better while Eli and the girls watched Jack and Jill to ring in the new year.

At least.

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Double Dooty

Summer woke me up because someone knocked on the door this morning. We both assumed it was probably a package, but there wasn’t anything at the door when we checked. She got around to come coffee in an Ember mug and remarked on how nice it was to have hot coffee to the last sip. I commented that it’s also nice to have only one cup that’s immediately washed and put away, rather than a countertop full of poorly-rinsed coffee mugs that collect over the course of a week or two. That upset her, which irritated me.

Eaddie snuck out for church at some point, and Summer wanted to go to the gym. I went outside after the dogs tore something else up, and had to drain the flooded basement. While I was back there, I noticed a hole in the roof where something was likely nesting. Summer took my car to the gym after some protest because of the lack of turn signal and drive stalks. I took a shower, and when she got back, she had a glum look on her face. She then proceeded to tell me about witnessing a hit-and-run in the parking lot in such a way that I was on edge the entire time thinking something happened to my car, which irritated me further.

I eventually took the dogs out for a run since it was finally mostly dry out. When we got back, the girls were home doing a ton of laundry and cleaning up. I messed with some more accessories for my car and installed some kick panels on the center console, then went back to my parents’ house for mango soup.

When I made it back home, I spent a bunch more time cleaning up while Summer cross stitched in front of the TV and Eaddie finished up her laundry. I got Summer’s license plate frame installed, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about adding one to mine. We’ll have to test it out once I get it registered.

I was sleepy for most of the evening, but general aggravation that had accumulated throughout the day got my blood pressure up. I felt a bit of a bronchial cough coming on all night, so hopefully I’m not getting sick.

Easy

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Those Christmas Lights

Summer got me up around nine this morning so I could get the turkey going. To my surprise, we were approved for the zero percent loan for my new car with a low down payment, so I took care of that and made the final payment before I got started. Then I kept Summer nearby because I wasn’t sure what I was going to need at any given moment. I used my new grinder to grind the spices down for the injection. It worked better, but still ended up clogging. I think it had more to do with the fact that the butter was solidifying in the syringe since the turkey was still cold inside. We eventually got it on the smoker though, and then it was a race to get everything else going. I oiled and salted the potatoes and threw them on the grill as well.

Summer did a bunch of other cleaning and worked on her deviled eggs. I took a shower and then pulled the potatoes off the grill so I could gut them, mash that up, and re-smoke them. We were getting down to the wire, but had a reasonably good morning until I got a text that Mom wasn’t coming. I had my hands full of potatoes, so I had Summer call Dad on speakerphone. I instantly blew my top at her because she wanted to blame my blood pressure, but changing plans at the last minute was what really got me hot.

I got the potatoes back on the smoker and cranked up the heat a bit, which turned out to be a big mistake. I guess there was still some grease at the bottom that caught fire, and my temperature shot up from my set 350ºF to over 500. We pulled the potatoes off and Summer finished them in the oven. I was going to drive over to talk to Mom, but just then Kevin showed up, followed by Julie with various things to unload from the car. Dad wasn’t far behind with even more stuff.

We got everything settled and then I took Dad’s car to go talk to Mom, since he and Julie were parked behind us. I talked to her briefly and apologized for blowing up, but reminded her that a big reason that I agreed to buy our house was so we would have room to entertain the family for the holidays, in a house with as little travel from theirs as possible. It didn’t take much more for her to come back with me, but she insisted that she didn’t want to stay long.

Noah was running behind in the most characteristically unpredictable way, so the seven of us ate. I thought all the food turned out pretty good. After that, we took a break to open presents. Eaddie had the biggest haul and wanted to know what she did to deserve to be so spoiled, but I think everyone felt pretty satisfied. After that, it was a bit of a struggle to decide what to do. I wanted to either watch Red One or start on some dessert, but Summer was busy cleaning up in the kitchen and became unresponsive to anything I asked. Julie ended up putting on Elf and they watched that while a few of us got some dessert.

Dad took Mom home, and Eaddie had Eli come over for some presents. Then they put on the Michael Jordan documentary series or whatever on the TV again. Noah finally showed up at some point and ate food and opened presents. I wasn’t terribly upset that he didn’t end up staying the night. Once everyone else left, the girls and I watched Red One together before bed. We all really enjoyed it for being so creative and unexpected.

I wrapped up the night by making some more turkey soup from the new bones we had. I was up pretty late waiting for it to cool down enough to refrigerate, but I was happy to be done with it right away instead of letting the bones sit for weeks.

Light up the street.

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Down ‘Till Out

I didn’t sleep very long, and it hurt all day. I got up and warmed up the last of the pizza for brunch. Summer did some work from home, and I did a load of dishes. I eventually had a shower and took the dogs out for a nice, long run. Mom and Dad saw me by the roundabout and circled around to holler at me, but there was traffic. We kept running through the neighborhoods until we got home.

I cleaned up some more stuff in the fridge, and roasted the turkey carcasses in the oven so I could make soup. Eaddie was playing in a community concert at Tech in the evening, so we eventually got around for that. Summer and I ran by Walgreens first, but the pharmacy was closed. She needed a lemon, so we ran to the Neighborhood Market for that, then picked up Dad for the concert.

I was surprised at how many empty seats there were, on account of how many people were playing in the band. It was a decent concert for a single day of rehearsal. Then it was back home where Summer crashed and I cooked down the turkey bones into soup. I was up pretty late taking care of that, so hopefully the end product is worth it.

Bone Sifter

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Back to Black

Today was pretty rainy and warm. I got to work, and Kyle was oddly the only one there. He hung out for a little while, but then left for his office the rest of the day. Charles brought in a bunch of leftover pizza and cookies from a party that he had over the weekend, so nobody got out for lunch. Otherwise I was with Maggie and Randy all day, except Randy kept having to run to central office to help with random things.

I got a call from a message from Tesla that they would have to change my delivery from Tulsa to Kansas City if I wanted to finance through them, since Oklahoma wouldn’t allow them to sell me the car because laws. Then I got a call from Kyle in Kansas City to say they wouldn’t be able to get a red Model 3 with the white interior before the end of the year, thus disqualifying me from the incentive. He had a red with the black interior, or other paint colors I could choose from, but I told him it had to be red. I decided to think on it a bit and then call him back.

I looked up some more comparison pictures and reviews, then called back to accept the black interior, but he said someone just bought it, so they didn’t have a red car for me at all. I told him to cancel the order, and that there were no hard feelings. Just as I was closing everything down and shaking off the excitement, he called back to say that he felt bad about the other car being sold out from under me that he did some legwork and got approved to transfer a red with black from Texas to Kansas City so I would still qualify. I took the offer, then had to redo my loan application because I was dumb and included our entire mortgage amount in what I reported. For some reason I went lawful-good and thought I had to tell the absolute truth, but Kyle said to just change the amount I pay and see if I get a better offer.

Apart from that, there wasn’t any excitement until quitting time. I left a little early so I could pick up some flowers for Summer, and somewhere after Conway I ran into a torrential downpour. There were a dozen cars pulled over, and at least one Miata-sized car spun out in the median. I got to town safely, picked up some flowers from Walmart, then picked Summer up at the lube and took her to Brangus for our anniversary.

After we finished our undercooked steaks, we ran home to clean up before Eaddie’s Christmas concert. We picked up Dad along the way, then sat through two bands worth of music. My heart was racing the entire time, and I couldn’t ever get it to calm down. On the way out, the cranky old grandparents snubbed Summer while they were visiting with Eaddie. We got out pretty quickly after that because it upset Summer. We had a near-successful summon for the Model Y, dropped Dad off at their house, then went home to wind down and get to bed.

Runaway rollercoaster!

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💯

Predictably, I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. My mind raced, stuck in a maze. I eventually managed to pass out for a couple hours, but then woke up around 2:30 and decided to measure my blood pressure. I had great numbers, but then my mind started racing again and it shot up, again preventing me from going back to sleep. I moved around a bit, and even tried lying on the couch for a little while, but nothing worked. I finally climbed out of bed a little after three and just started getting ready for work.

My pressure rose the entire time, and the lump in my throat that I finally lost in the middle of the night was back. Luckily it was a slow ride in to work and I managed to avoid some frustration there. I was a few minutes early, but to no effect. Randy came in just after me and we chatted a little bit. Once he left for his executive team meeting, I sat in the dark until Maggie showed up.

My numbers weren’t awful, and I snacked for some of the morning. They still got pretty high by lunch, and then a McRib probably didn’t do much to help me. In fact, I kept skating just above 90mmHg diastolic for most of the afternoon, and the clonidine didn’t seem to have much effect. I had left a message for Crystal’s nurse first thing in the morning, but the only call I received was from someone at Baptist that called after receiving my info from the self-care fair.

Randy decided we could work from seven to 3:30, so I took off and beat most of the most annoying traffic home. Summer got there just after I did, and I took the dogs for a run with a little bit of daylight left. We went through the basin and around the roundabout to my parents’ house and up the hill before coming back home.

Eaddie got home just after I did, but spent some time chauffeuring friends before finally coming back home for the night. Summer sat quietly in the living room, and I ate the lettuce with some Miracle Whip and black pepper, then a banana before going to bed super early.

😓