Tag: lessons

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The Beginning of the End

I woke up surprisingly sober and full of positive energy after a painfully unrested night. I tried to rub some of that positivity off on Summer, but she hardly said a word to me until our kiss goodbye. We got to work and I felt pretty good all morning. I sat down with Teisha and talked to her for a long time about our history and what was going on. She was as supportive as possible, and then we went upstairs to as much productivity as we could muster.

Grant met me at Ortega’s for the all-you-can-eat lunch, and he was super hyped as always. I hate that we’re bonding over trauma, but he’s been an incredible pillar of support. We ate, and then I gave him a super quick walk-through of our office before he headed back to the restaurant.

The afternoon dragged on much more after Summer ignored my messages all day. I was spent by the end of it, and we walked out a few minutes early just to get to the house and try to keep the momentum up. It looked like Summer was still out looking for places to live, but they both showed up at the house right after we got there.

I got them to sit down with me in the living room to discuss the urgency of the whole situation. Summer is just over it, and is ready to explore solo life to find out who she is without anyone else there, and she wants no safety net. Eaddie repeated her concern that we’re just incompatible, and feels like we’d be better off apart. There’s still a lot of love, but too much negativity to continue moving forward, and they want a fresh start. They did agree to slow their hastiness so we could go over financials and find them a nice place to live so they don’t just settle out of a desire to leave.

I continued cleaning the kitchen, but it was a struggle after that. I’ve just never been big on waste. I did some laundry and cleaned the guest room so I could sleep there. It looks like I have nowhere to go, so the hunt begins.

Always at the whim.

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²

It was damp out today, and slightly drizzly, but not too gross. There was a truck off the side of the road going the other direciton just as we got to Morrilton, and we could see traffic backed up from there. Things were quiet for me, and I tried to replicate my focus from yesterday. I did fairly well, but everything I was doing led me back to square one. I just need to decide whether to spin up a new DC and go hybrid, or pay for more cloud services.

When lunch came around, we went to McDonald’s for a McRib. After waiting a while, they came out and said they weren’t selling it any more, and offered to make me something else. I forgot how pitiful the McCrispy was, and got that. It tasted fine, but was just a small, sad sandwich. I ended up redeeming points for some McNuggets before I left.

A little while later, I had an anxiety attack at work. I wish I had a better way to track this along with some vitals from my peripherals, and I’m surprised there isn’t an app for that. The rest of the afternoon went by kind of slowly, and I was alone upstairs for much of it.

The ride home was quiet and fast. My parents were making egg rolls again, so I ran over with Muad’Dib. Summer was already in the shower when we got to the house, so she met us over there when she was done. Julie and Kevin showed up, and I got a little spun up as we were starting to put food together. I felt like my heart was racing and I felt a little dazed, but I think Julie’s aggressive loudness just had my blood pressure up, so I just had to relax and let it pass.

We all actually sat together and ate together for once, which was nice. Muad’Dib did a wonderful job sitting in the laundry room, and we had a good run back to the house afterward. My heartrate was about the same as it was during my episode and I felt fine, so I’m sticking with blood pressure with a side of dehydration since I was a little bit shy on my water quota.

Eaddie and Eli were at the house watching Breaking Bad when we got there, so Summer went to bed while I wrapped up fairly early myself. I think the sleep helps, though the afternoon anxiety attack and evening daze had me a bit puzzled.

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Dogtown

Summer and I happened to end up in traffic around the same time, as there had been a wreck and vehicle fire right outside of Morrilton. She continued on to Little Rock and I got to work right around eight. Janice brought a tiny little goblin dog to work, so Muad’Dib had fun running around with her. We were up and down the stairs several times and stayed really busy all day.

PetSmart called early in the morning and wanted to move Muad’Dib’s appointment up an hour, citing that they were really busy leading up to Thanksgiving, and that they wanted to make sure he had plenty of time away from other people and dogs. It didn’t make much sense to me, since I figured an appointment time was just for him, but from the sound of it, they do several dogs at once in batches, and then kennel them between steps. It didn’t make much sense to me, but luckily I remembered that Summer would be passing back through. I had her pick him up and take him home, and then Eaddie delivered him to PetSmart at three.

I grabbed a quick lunch at McDonald’s and then continued David’s quest to learn how to import documents. I got a call about an hour and a half earlier than I expected, telling me that Muad’Dib was about finished, so I headed back home to get him. They said he did well, but I was actually disappointed in how much I paid for such a short service. We probably won’t be doing that again.

Summer said something about going to the store when she got off work, so I thought I’d go with her. When I got home, the kids had eaten two of the three steaks and left me one, and Summer none. I took Muad’Dib on a quick run, and he absolutely flew down the street. When we got back, I learned that at some point, Summer thought to eat the rest of the squash, which left me with a slab of meat and literally nothing else. The kids went with her to the store, so Muad’Dib and I went to Taco Villa.

They had my taco salad made quickly, and I didn’t notice when he followed me in the door, but we got back outside and ate at a picnic table in the cold. It was nice to decompress. Afterward, we went by the old house to look for a few things. Dad had emptied the cabinets, but I was lucky enough to find one of the things I was looking for.

When we got back to the house, Eaddie told me that they weren’t going to see Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox with us because she just learned that they wanted to record for the Tech band album they’re releasing. I tried to talk to her about commitments, but that fell on deaf ears, and nobody around here is willing to put family over anything else.

Well I guess if you want to be alone, be alone

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I’d Rautha Not

I took Muad’Dib in this morning with his little rodeo accessory, and everyone loved it. Unfortunately it just didn’t fit right, so he didn’t wear it for most of the day. I also had him wear an e-collar since he’s gotten into the habit of running off uncontrollably. He behaved much better today for our several trips up and down the stairs.

I also buckled him up while I went in for lunch, since I didn’t want him crawling all over the car and tearing something up. The afternoon was long and tiring, but we eventually got home. Summer was there, not feeling well. We went out for an early run, but then things got a little huskier.

We got to the end of the street and encountered a white and tan husky on the loose. They charged at each other and then ran in circles around me. Muad’Dib was fairly well minding, but the stranger was really skittish around me. I got a pet or two in, but otherwise he would cower and run away. He followed us back to the house where I had Summer meet us outside. It took some work, but once she came back out with a bowl of food, he came right up to us and followed us into the back yard.

He was super friendly from that point on, but had a ton of hair coming off in big tufts as though he had never been brushed, or even petted. He also had super long toenails like he had never been outside to walk, or even roam around freely. He was really skinny under all that fur, and showed a bit of bone. We needed to get to walking though, so I decided to leash him and see if we could find anyone who recognized him.

We made it all the way around to my parents’ house, where Mom scolded me for picking up another dog. They were talking with someone about replacing their windows, so we left. We got all the way back to the house when we rounded the corner and were approached in the dark by a lime green Jeep Renegade. A skinny, shirtless, white guy smoking a cigarette eyeballed us through his window, so I asked if he knew the dog. He nodded, and reached behind himself to try and open his back door from the inside. He gestured to put the dog in, again without words. I suggested he step outside since I didn’t want to take my leash and collor off the dog without securing him in some way. As soon as he opened the door, the dog cowered and tried to get away. I asked where he lived, and he pointed down the street where we found him. Then he loaded up and drove away.

Feeling pretty awful about the entire experience, I went inside and called the police, who basically told me to call Animal Control during business hours. I wrote a long email to them before going to bed, but I doubt anything comes of it.

Feyd to Black

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Planner Fasciitis

We had a staff meeting first thing, so I tried to get out early and get a biscuit from McDonald’s before we hit the road. We were slightly behind after that, but it wasn’t too bad. I locked Muad’Dib up in the office, and the meeting ran pretty short. Only the operations guys really had anything to discuss. Joel did ask me to come up with a way to share my projects, so I dug through Brandon’s stuff again and discovered Microsoft Planner. It seemed easy and integrated, though not without its faults. I found out pretty quickly that it didn’t have an “undo” button, so I’ll have to be cautious with my clicks. It was also designed with some strange behaviors with text and click boxes. I spent all morning trying to square up there, and organize all of my thoughts.

We left really late for a quick lunch at McDonald’s. Service is back to being pretty terrible, but there was at least one little ray of sunshine behind the counter among the others. Back at the office, I had a pretty heavy anxiety attack, and then we finished up the afternoon so I could head toward home to help Mark with connecting his new “server.” That took a while, but they didn’t care that Muad’Dib was with me, so we just did what we could as quickly as we could.

It was already starting to get dark, so I ran Muad’Dib to my parents’ house. Dad was out chasing comets, but we saw Mom and then ran back home. I ate some leftover wings and realized I had been unintentionally dehydrating myself, which may have caused a dizzy spell. My blood pressure was okay, but I started to feel out of phase like I was going to pass out. I downed a couple tumblers of water, and things seemed better before bed.

You are aware of water at all times.

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Lesson Retention

I woke up surprisingly early today, but time dilated and I didn’t get the chicken onto the smoker until right at noon. I made lemon pepper wings and seasoned the thighs with an assortment of whatever spices felt right, and then when the smoking was done, I added some different sauces to some of both. We ended up having an early dinner with some steamed rice and some frozen veggies I threw into the chicken juice from yesterday.

The food was pretty good, but I always forget the little things I learn between cooks, and the barbecue sauce burned a bit. Dad stopped in to pick up some aging bananas, and I rested for a little while before finally starting to vacuum again. The vacuum cleaner was completely full after Eaddie used it, and then I also noticed the brush was completely covered in hair, so that was a chore to clean up as well. Cleaning that really helped extract more dirt from the carpet.

Too short.

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Pick Me Up

Summer took Muad’Dib out back for coffee this morning and he got dirty chasing squirrels, so he had to stay outside until I was ready to give him a bath. I got up and finished some old eggs and RO*TEL out of the fridge before starting on my projects. Summer went to the gym, and I started digging under the sink to find where the garbage disposal was leaking.

I got everything cleaned up, but never could find a leak, so I just kept cleaning up the kitchen. Summer came home and mowed the lawn. I took a shower and kept at the cleaning. I misunderstood and thought the girls were planning to go out without me, so I ate some of the ribs I warmed up for them. When they finally explained that they wanted to cook something for dinner, they ate some of the ribs to tide them over.

I really wanted to make a few passes with the vacuum cleaner, but I just never had the time. I eventually took Muad’Dib out for a run and let him splash around in the creek. We visited my parents, and then my Onewheel died at the end of the street again. I turned it on and tried to power through, but it shut off on me without warning as we were climbing the big hill. I hit the ground hard and got some road rash on my left ankle and knee, but my elbow was by far the worst.

Summer came to get me just as dinner was done. Muad’Dib had to ride in the trunk, but he did great. We got home and I went straight to give Muad’Dib a bath and spray myself down in the process. The blood was only dripping a little bit, so we got through the bath and then I ate before bandaging up. Eaddie and Eli made Oreo balls and then disappeared, and Summer and I went to bed early.

My, what big teeth you have.

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Family Day 2025

Summer woke us up with a classic bacon and eggs breakfast this morning. Eaddie had a football game in the evening, preceeded by a big family day tailgate party with free tickets to the game, t-shirts, and apparently a “barbecue” lunch. I figured I would go along, since there’s not much I like more in this world than a free shirt.

The girls left, for early rehearsal and the gym, and I got ready to meet Summer outside the football stadium for the event. I think she actually got to see the band practice early while I rode the Onewheel around outside the stadium with Muad’Dib. I was concerned that somebody might say something about him being off-leash, so I tried to avoid anyone that looked like they had any authority. Muad’Dib did great, and the only people that said anything had kind things to say about his behavior.

Summer eventually made it out and we waited for a line to form for shirts and tickets. It wasn’t much after that when we had to line up for food. They had Fat Daddy’s pulled pork, potatoes, beans, and slaw – all served to barely cover the plate. If I had known they were going to be that stingy with the pork, I wouldn’t have stayed. We ate that and then headed home so Summer could shower. I actually stopped by Ridgewood to see if anyone was there, but the guys were inside and the restaurant was still closed.

We got home and hung out there for quite a while before Summer wanted to be back for the game. We rode together and watched the band perform outside the stadium before the game, but I forgot Muad’Dib’s e-collar remote and he had to stay on his leash. Once that was over, Summer went inside and I went home because I had no interest in football.

We stopped by Ridgewood again, this time to pick up some of their specialty ribs. I got a rack of each since I hadn’t had the opportunity to try them before. Grant was there long enough to wave at me before he had to leave, but I talked to the rest of the crew for a little bit since they were so slow. The bag came out pretty greasy, so we headed straight home to eat. Muad’Dib even got a bunch of scraps.

I had the game streaming in the background so I could have some idea of when halftime would be. The stands were packed though, so I opted not to go at all, and just picked Summer up afterward. We made it back home and she tried the ribs before going to bed. I vacuumed a strip of the living room and came up with a shocking amount of dirt, so I sent an email to Kyle at Hydro Carpet Solutions. I don’t guess he has to do anything for us, but I couldn’t be more disappointed in the result.

I walked through the bedroom a few times to see Muad’Dib watching Summer’s baking shows after she had fallen asleep. I couldn’t bear the thought of both of them watching the crap and still not being able to actually bake, so I tried to find a dog show. I finally just went to Disney+ and put on Homeward Bound. Eaddie was out late, and I actually got an email from Kyle that basically said, “sorry, just vacuum it with something that has a beater bar.”

All a waste of time.

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Lessons in Sevens

Every bit of today droned on. I started out running up and down to help the ladies downstairs, and then took a couple phone calls with Traverse support to fix the issues. I learned a bit, but it was probably something that those folks should know about the system they use. I don’t know how helpful it will be for me to know it.

We went to Taco Bell for a small lunch, and then made it back early just for the afternoon to creep by so slowly. Summer was home early, but I took Muad’Dib for a run as soon as we got there. I needed to help Dad cover the pool, but wanted to try and get any video I could of the skimmer robot before doing so. Fortunately he was able to get some video during the day.

Once the pool was covered, we finished our run. Muad’Dib had decided to dive right into the creek when we had passed by earlier, so he had to go outside until he could get a bath. I took Summer to La Huerta for dinner, and it was just tense and awkward all night. We ate, then went to Walmart so she could pick up a few things. We saw Amanda and talked to her for a minute when Summer was looking for Tech clothes. Then we finished up and went back to the house.

I gave Muad’Dib a bath while Summer went to bed. Eaddie came home as I was running the new vacuum, and after just a short run, I had an unexpected amount of dust. I didn’t expect good suction, so that meant the professional carpet cleaning we had done was basically worthless.

I’m ready to get gone. I don’t belong here.

I’m not sure I belong anywhere.

Maybe the sea.

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It’s Like Draaaeeeaaaiiiinnn!

We got out surprisingly early today since Summer was out of the house before I got up. I was going to stick with a Soylent, but by the time we got to Morrilton, I had talked myself into stopping at Wendy’s. I had a couple calls in the morning, which got me through to lunch. Sonic had cheesesticks on sale, and I wasn’t super hungry, so we went and split an order of those and a couple cheap wraps.

The afternoon was fine, but I didn’t have much luck working on the little desktop I brought from the breakroom. Muad’Dib kept begging for food while we were down there, and I think one of the guys spilled some liquid from his food on him, so I had to wipe him down when we got back to the office.

I thought Summer was going to be at the house when we got there, but she had to go back to work to retrieve some security footage of a drunk driver. By the time she got back and I was ready to take Muad’Dib on a run, things were looking pretty stormy. We made it a couple blocks before I realized I forgot his treat bag again, and when we got back to the house I just left him and drove to my parents’ house for dinner.

They planned to have spaghetti, but didn’t have noodles, so the three of us ate leftover spring rolls through the torrential downpour. When I got back to the house, I had to try and unclog the driveway drain pipe to keep it from flooding into the garage. I got the leaf blower at it from both sides, and finally got a little bit of flow out of it after digging a little trench to the bottom end. I need to figure out a good way to keep that from clogging up.

It was a quick evening to bed since Summer fell asleep really early and Eaddie was out really late. There’s no room for anything any more, and we still haven’t reset the living room.

I need a beat.