Tag: parenting

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The Beginning of the End

I woke up surprisingly sober and full of positive energy after a painfully unrested night. I tried to rub some of that positivity off on Summer, but she hardly said a word to me until our kiss goodbye. We got to work and I felt pretty good all morning. I sat down with Teisha and talked to her for a long time about our history and what was going on. She was as supportive as possible, and then we went upstairs to as much productivity as we could muster.

Grant met me at Ortega’s for the all-you-can-eat lunch, and he was super hyped as always. I hate that we’re bonding over trauma, but he’s been an incredible pillar of support. We ate, and then I gave him a super quick walk-through of our office before he headed back to the restaurant.

The afternoon dragged on much more after Summer ignored my messages all day. I was spent by the end of it, and we walked out a few minutes early just to get to the house and try to keep the momentum up. It looked like Summer was still out looking for places to live, but they both showed up at the house right after we got there.

I got them to sit down with me in the living room to discuss the urgency of the whole situation. Summer is just over it, and is ready to explore solo life to find out who she is without anyone else there, and she wants no safety net. Eaddie repeated her concern that we’re just incompatible, and feels like we’d be better off apart. There’s still a lot of love, but too much negativity to continue moving forward, and they want a fresh start. They did agree to slow their hastiness so we could go over financials and find them a nice place to live so they don’t just settle out of a desire to leave.

I continued cleaning the kitchen, but it was a struggle after that. I’ve just never been big on waste. I did some laundry and cleaned the guest room so I could sleep there. It looks like I have nowhere to go, so the hunt begins.

Always at the whim.

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²

It was damp out today, and slightly drizzly, but not too gross. There was a truck off the side of the road going the other direciton just as we got to Morrilton, and we could see traffic backed up from there. Things were quiet for me, and I tried to replicate my focus from yesterday. I did fairly well, but everything I was doing led me back to square one. I just need to decide whether to spin up a new DC and go hybrid, or pay for more cloud services.

When lunch came around, we went to McDonald’s for a McRib. After waiting a while, they came out and said they weren’t selling it any more, and offered to make me something else. I forgot how pitiful the McCrispy was, and got that. It tasted fine, but was just a small, sad sandwich. I ended up redeeming points for some McNuggets before I left.

A little while later, I had an anxiety attack at work. I wish I had a better way to track this along with some vitals from my peripherals, and I’m surprised there isn’t an app for that. The rest of the afternoon went by kind of slowly, and I was alone upstairs for much of it.

The ride home was quiet and fast. My parents were making egg rolls again, so I ran over with Muad’Dib. Summer was already in the shower when we got to the house, so she met us over there when she was done. Julie and Kevin showed up, and I got a little spun up as we were starting to put food together. I felt like my heart was racing and I felt a little dazed, but I think Julie’s aggressive loudness just had my blood pressure up, so I just had to relax and let it pass.

We all actually sat together and ate together for once, which was nice. Muad’Dib did a wonderful job sitting in the laundry room, and we had a good run back to the house afterward. My heartrate was about the same as it was during my episode and I felt fine, so I’m sticking with blood pressure with a side of dehydration since I was a little bit shy on my water quota.

Eaddie and Eli were at the house watching Breaking Bad when we got there, so Summer went to bed while I wrapped up fairly early myself. I think the sleep helps, though the afternoon anxiety attack and evening daze had me a bit puzzled.

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Turbo Husk

The wind was still howling this morning, and it was freezing cold, but dry. The office was surprisingly quiet again, which made it difficult to get motivated. Further reading of Microsoft documentation didn’t help. I tried to pep myself up with a cup of coffee from my new portable press, but it was awful. I’ll just have to brew larger cups of those old grounds at home, and use them up.

I had an anxiety attack at some point, but I don’t recall whether it was before or after lunch. We went to McDonald’s and Sonic so Muad’Dib could have a little snack with me. I thought he’d want to run more after lunch, but he was ready to go inside. The afternoon dragged on forever until quitting time.

Eaddie was supposed to make lasagna for the second day in a row, but texted earlier to say she wasn’t going to do that. Summer had called earlier as well, to say the Murano’s power steering was going out. I was frustrated at the lack of proactive maintenance and the fact that Eaddie still hadn’t found the Pathfinder keys that she lost.

We got to the house and took a quick run, but the cold wasn’t quite as sharp. Muad’Dib took off like a rocket, and I was too hesitant on the board to try and keep up with him, but he was doing well over 20 miles an hour. We visited Dad briefly before making it back to the house. The girls got into a frustrating argument in which Eaddie got onto Summer for “having an attitude with her all day.” She and I had a talk later about how I didn’t like the connotations of that word, and I think it helped. I eventually had some leftover turkey before laying down with Muad’Dib for a little while. Summer joined us after her bath, and we quickly flipped through some Netflix as Muad’Dib started snoring heavily.

I dawdled for quite a while before joining them.

Notes on Notes on Numbers

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Let’s Table It for Now

Summer got up and made us a simple sausage and egg breakfast with toast. I started cleaning up the dining table so we would have room for cookies, and did that all through the afternoon. I tried my best not to just hide things away somewhere else, and put stuff where it actually needed to go. Eaddie left to have Christmas with Eli’s family, and Summer made some homemade dog biscuits, followed by cookies for us to decorate.

I eventually had a shower and took Muad’Dib for a run. Mom made duck soup, so I ate with them before everyone came over to decorate cookies. Noah showed up much later than he told us, and Eaddie followed. Dad came over a little after I got back, and we got to the cookies.

Dad left after we got tired of decorating cookies, and then Eaddie had Summer open up one of her presents. It was Phase 10 Tiles, which was a take on the original, except with little plastic tiles instead of cards. We played a few rounds of that, but Noah couldn’t wrap his head around the gameplay and we ended up quitting halfway through.

Noah and the girls opened presents after that, and it wasn’t long before Summer was ready for bed. Muad’Dib seemed pretty tired too. Eaddie took Noah somewhere, and then it was off to sleep.

It was like Christmas all year long.

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Hammer and Chisel

I got up this morning and actually got showered fairly early. Eaddie had the community concert in the evening, and Summer wanted to do some shopping. I wanted to take Muad’Dib, so we went to PetSmart first to pick up some more food. Then we put him in the car while we quickly poked our heads into Belk. They didn’t have what we wanted, so we drove over to JCPenney. From there, I got Muad’Dib out and we walked up the strip. Summer stopped at Shoe Carnival, and then we walked a little further up before returning to the car.

We were pretty hungry by then, and I was actually hungry enough to eat Italian, so we tried to stop at Italian Garden. Muad’Dib got super whiney, so we let him out to run a bit first. That was my mistake, because I should have had Summer queue us first. By the time we got in the door, she said there were a few people waiting. They quoted her ten minutes, but we decided to leave. I made a quick pass downtown to see if the taco place down there was open, but they weren’t. Feeling my frustration steadily growing, I took us to the house and warmed up some pizza and other leftovers.

Summer went to the gym and I started chipping away at the dining room table. I got a little bit of stuff moved, but there was just so much to put away properly. Summer eventually made it back, and I took Muad’Dib for a run while it was a little warmer out. Mom made curry, but it wasn’t ready when Muad’Dib ran us straight there. We continued around our reverse route for a while and then turned around just a couple blocks from our house to go back to my parents’.

I ate and then we started rolling back to the house. I got to the end of the road when my board threw a charge error again, but I was able to limp it most of the way home. I did carry it for about a block total, mostly just to make it up the hills. By then it was about time to get ready for the concert. We put Muad’Dib out back and then picked up Dad, and made our way to Witherspoon.

We sat near the back with Eli’s family, and Salvadore talked to me until we finally sat down. Summer wanted to sit by Shaana, so Dad and I just sat at the end of the aisle. The music was pretty typical for a Christmas concert. On the way out, Summer had us walk all the way around the building to avoid Gerald, which seemed a bit ironic considering the heat I’ve gotten for wanting to avoid Autumn lately.

We dropped Dad off and then got back to the house so I could give Muad’Dib a bath. He did wonderfully, and even stayed in the tub for me while I fetched the blow dryer. I gave him a good vacuuming afterward and pulled off a bunch of hair. Then it was a rush to bed.

Payout for tricks!

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Deal With It

Eaddie left early this morning, dressed up for something. Summer and I had coffee and then started to reset the living room. We had an appointment to take Muad’Dib for pictures with Santa, but then Summer told me she wanted to have Autumn come over to decorate cookies and we ended up unpacking a lot of other stuff instead.

I cancelled the appointment and took a shower late, but then Eaddie and Eli came to the house and we met them at PetSmart where we could just walk up to what was one of the worst Santas I’ve ever seen. They were informal to say the least, but they gave him a little treat and snapped a couple poor pictures with my phone. Then we wandered the store for a little bit to see if Muad’Dib wanted a treat. He sniffed the bones a little bit, but all he really wanted was a guinea pig, and Summer wouldn’t let him have one. I suggested that if we got two, he could have unlimited treats for free, but that didn’t work either.

We took him outside to take a break from all the excitement for a little bit, and then we ended up going to Point Remove with the kids. We got a large charcuterie board, some drinks, and eventually a pizza. I saw Amber and Brian there for a Christmas party they were having for their runners club, and one of the ladies came down and convinced Summer to sign up for a membership or something.

Muad’Dib was perfect under the table and off the leash the whole time. I took him outside, and he was perfectly behaved the entire time. People loved his ugly sweater and Max antler. We were there for a little while because they were quite busy with a couple parties going, and seemingly very understaffed.

When we finally got back to the house, I cleaned up some more stuff to set up the living room. Summer went to bed. I wasn’t very motivated, and I couldn’t find my two longest speaker wires anyway, but I got a little bit done. Afterward I did some more reviews and had an anxiety attack before bed..

whether it’s scientific truth, or historical truth, or personal truth

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Technically, It Was Great

I got up and made eggs on toast again for breakfast, and it turned out a little better than last time, though we were short on eggs. The day went by quickly, and we had to get to Witherspoon for Eaddie’s concert. I didn’t want to leave Muad’Dib in the house, nor did I want to put him back outside after his bath, so we took him along to get Dad and then went to the concert. Summer wouldn’t let me dress him up in a trench coat to sneak him in, so he had to sit in the car for nearly two hours. He hated it, but was well behaved when he came out.

We dropped Dad off and then I took him for a quick run while it was still light out. Summer baked a frozen pizza for dinner, and then we took Muad’Dib to the other house to try and fetch my other slow cooker. Unfortunately we couldn’t get in because the internet was out and I couldn’t open the garage.

From there, we went to Walmart to do some quick shopping. Summer got a bunch of stuff to make chili for work and home, but we had to stop at the Neighborhood Market to get some missing ingredients. I waited outside and ran around with Muad’Dib while she ran in, and then we got back home where I tried to pound out some reviews before bed.

Definitely not snoozeworthy though.

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Dogtown

Summer and I happened to end up in traffic around the same time, as there had been a wreck and vehicle fire right outside of Morrilton. She continued on to Little Rock and I got to work right around eight. Janice brought a tiny little goblin dog to work, so Muad’Dib had fun running around with her. We were up and down the stairs several times and stayed really busy all day.

PetSmart called early in the morning and wanted to move Muad’Dib’s appointment up an hour, citing that they were really busy leading up to Thanksgiving, and that they wanted to make sure he had plenty of time away from other people and dogs. It didn’t make much sense to me, since I figured an appointment time was just for him, but from the sound of it, they do several dogs at once in batches, and then kennel them between steps. It didn’t make much sense to me, but luckily I remembered that Summer would be passing back through. I had her pick him up and take him home, and then Eaddie delivered him to PetSmart at three.

I grabbed a quick lunch at McDonald’s and then continued David’s quest to learn how to import documents. I got a call about an hour and a half earlier than I expected, telling me that Muad’Dib was about finished, so I headed back home to get him. They said he did well, but I was actually disappointed in how much I paid for such a short service. We probably won’t be doing that again.

Summer said something about going to the store when she got off work, so I thought I’d go with her. When I got home, the kids had eaten two of the three steaks and left me one, and Summer none. I took Muad’Dib on a quick run, and he absolutely flew down the street. When we got back, I learned that at some point, Summer thought to eat the rest of the squash, which left me with a slab of meat and literally nothing else. The kids went with her to the store, so Muad’Dib and I went to Taco Villa.

They had my taco salad made quickly, and I didn’t notice when he followed me in the door, but we got back outside and ate at a picnic table in the cold. It was nice to decompress. Afterward, we went by the old house to look for a few things. Dad had emptied the cabinets, but I was lucky enough to find one of the things I was looking for.

When we got back to the house, Eaddie told me that they weren’t going to see Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox with us because she just learned that they wanted to record for the Tech band album they’re releasing. I tried to talk to her about commitments, but that fell on deaf ears, and nobody around here is willing to put family over anything else.

Well I guess if you want to be alone, be alone

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Everybody Out!

We all woke up pretty early today. The girls went outside for coffee with the dog, so I joined them with a cup myself. Eaddie had a football game in the afternoon. Summer went to work and the gym while I got cleaned up. Then I made myself a burrito just before she left for the pregame show. I followed along with Muad’Dib, and we parked at the aquatic center and rode the Onewheel over to Tech from there. It was a short show, and then she went in for the game while Muad’Dib and I headed back to the house.

It was nice out, so we ran to my parents’ house to see them. We visited for a bit before Muad’Dib took me around most of the rest of his course. He skipped zig-zagging through the neighborhood blocks, but it was also pretty warm out. I spent the afternoon cleaning up and did some laundry when we got back to the house. Summer and Shaana had an Alabama concert in Little Rock later in the evening, so Summer dropped her car off and changed before running out the door again.

The kids came home after their game, and I offered to take them out for dinner. I wanted to take Muad’Dib since the weather outside was so nice, so our options were a little limited. We landed on Buffalo Wild Wings, which was a typical and expected disappointment, but they let the dog in.

Eli had a wrap, and Eaddie and I split a huge order of wings. We didn’t care for two of the sauces we got, but I liked the rest. The potato wedges were good, but the portion size for the $8 large was absolutely unbelievable. A single russet potato would have yielded more wedges than what we received. Even the small tray they were served on had an insulting amount of free space available. It was as though we were at a fine dining establishment that served single bites of food on normal sized plates. Service was also incredibly slow, but they were packed inside.

After we ate, we made an impromptu stop downtown for some ice cream at the Cool Cat Creamery. Eaddie got some rolled ice cream for us and we sat outside to eat and visit. There were some skaters over around the stage area who approached Eli and me while Eaddie was inside, and asked if either of us could do a backflip. I asked if I looked like the kind of person that did backflips. Eli’s respose was that he had a dog at home. He elaborated, after seeing the confusion in everyone’s faces, that he couldn’t allow himself the opportunity to injur himself, presumably because the dog needed him.

We eventually made it back to the house. Summer got home pretty late, and then everyone was off to bed.

Like a summer night.

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Clownin’

I got five orders into McDonald’s today. We started with a coffee before leaving town, then stopped in Morrilton for a chicken biscuit. I spent all morning documenting printers, and then we went for a late lunch and redeemed points for a free Happy Meal. The six McNuggets didn’t quite satisfy me, so I redeemed a free Double Cheeseburger, which was quite a bit heftier than I remembered. I was actually quite pleased. I wrapped that up with a free Apple Pie for dessert.

As I was finishing up, a young, very McMethed-out girl approached and asked if I had a hot spot. I was polite and tried to learn what she really needed, and she said she was trying to get a ride to her uncle’s place that was “less than ten minutes away.” I had to decline her at that point, and she walked up to a kiosk to order something before walking over to talk to someone else, who I think was an employee.

The afternoon went by quickly, and then we made it home so I could eat some leftover chicken before taking Muad’Dib on a run. I originally thought I’d run him to the high school to meet Summer for the marching assessment, but she wanted me to run him first, and then go with her for the entire time she would be there.

Muad’Dib ran well, but I had to zap him a few times when he kept trying to chase cats, or generally wouldn’t listen. He was mostly good, but just wasn’t being as obedient as I needed him to be. Summer and I had a chat when we got back, and then we went to the high school to watch a couple bands play before Eaddie would go out with the Tech band.

We brought Muad’Dib along, and he was immediately wound up and alert for all the noise and goings-on. He didn’t even wait to get out of the car, and sprung out as soon as I opened the door, which was very unlike him. As we entered the stadium, there was no one to turn us away. He got more and more anxious as we entered the crowd of people. We got seated and watched one band, but then I decided to take him off to the side of the field to decompress in the grass. We walked around for a couple of bands, and then he finally felt okay to come back for Tech.

Summer was straight to bed as I tried to clean up some stuff in the garage and kitchen. I didn’t feel great, but I eventually made it to bed.

Makin’ my way downtown, walkin’ slow, faces pass, and I’m homebound.