Plan Bi-tec

Summer’s oncologist appointment was pushed back, but I kept today off for a tele-interview with the guys at Bitec. It was pretty quiet, because Eaddie left in the morning to go shopping with Eli. I had slept fairly late, so I didn’t have a whole ton of time to kill. I ate some chicken tacos for brunch and neither of the girls wanted to eat anything during the day.

I eventually had a shower and got dressed up for an interview in the dining room. They acted like they remembered me, and said they would probably have me for another in-person interview later on. It sounded like business was booming over the past year, so they had slightly different needs, but it didn’t sound like anything I couldn’t handle.

Eaddie and Eli came over as soon as I finished the interview, and wanted to hook up Guitar Hero. I got the PlayStation hooked up in the sunroom, but we couldn’t get any of the guitars to pair. I finally got one Rock Band guitar working, so Eli tried to calibrate the audio and video for the next couple hours. Eaddie got bored and left us to lay in bed for a while.

I took out a ton of recycling and eventually took Muad’Dib out for a run just as Summer got home. Then we finished up the chicken taco stuff by turning it into pulled barbecue sandwiches. I made actual slaw out of the mix we had, and they turned out pretty good. I was just happy to get it out of the fridge.

The girls ended the night watching gymnastics, and I just quietly went back to my office. Randy and I will be going to visit the Vilonia School District in the morning, so we made plans for breakfast in Conway first.

Good dog.

No, I Know

Today was another day mostly on my own. I ended up going to Chipotle to pick up a burrito for lunch.

I got stuck in traffic on the way home because they had one lane closed around Menifee.

Dad took Muad’Dib out for a walk during the day, so I waited until the sun went down to take him for our run. I put together a laundry cart I got from Vine so I could give a larger one to Eaddie since she’s had trouble with hers spilling out all over the floor.

Eaddie had Maristella over later in the evening, so Summer was in bed by the time we got home. I wrapped up and went to sleep.

Ooh, bеt you’re thinking, “She’s so cool”

The Offspring

We had Eaddie and Eli’s graduation party this afternoon. Summer went out to gather some additional supplies while I got ready, and we eventually made it to the pavilion at Old Post Park around one. I brought my PA speakers and amp, but forgot the hotspot at home, and my phone on Google Fi didn’t have good enough service to work. My parents made noise about picking up some ice, so I went home to get the hotspot, then ran to the Neighborhood Market for a bag of ice, and made it back to the party just as everyone was eating.

I got the music going and made a plate, and then just sat at the table for the rest of the afternoon. Eli’s father came and sat across from me after things slowed down, and talked at length about being happy and trusting God to take care of everything.

We eventually got everything loaded back up and went home. I took Muad’Dib out for a run and the basin was flooded, so we piddled around for a while. We saw Dad, and made it home after avoiding another old lady and her dog that were in our way. Summer had to go to work for a team meeting, so I was on my own for the entire evening. Eaddie brought Eli over at some point, but they kept themselves occupied while I did some laundry. Then it was off to bed.

Celebrate good times. Come on.

Congraduations

We had two graduation ceremonies to attend today, so not much else to do. Summer had to go to work for a bit, and I ate some of the terrible chicken tacos she made yesterday. Then Eaddie left to meet her at Walmart to find some pantyhose, and I started getting ready for the day.

Eli’s graduation was at one, and we got there a little later than we wanted, but still plenty early to get seats by his family. Eaddie freaked out and kept rudely calling Summer on the phone when she couldn’t find her shoes or her ticket to the graduation. It ended up being a non-issue, because she just walked in and nobody said anything to her, even though Ceci and I walked back around to give her an extra ticket they had.

The ceremony was actually fairly short at about an hour, since they split the class in half. It was neat that two of Eaddie’s friends were speakers, and then the kids walked and we dismissed to find them outside. Summer kept saying she didn’t want to stick around, so I started walking back to the car, which seemed to upset her. She never came up with a plan or vocalized a desire to do anything, so it was frustrating to just hover around that many other people in the sun.

We finally made it back home and I snacked a little before we left again for Eaddie’s graduation. We had to pick up Maristella on the way, and I took them to the band room to help Eaddie get dressed. Then Summer and I went back over to the arena and saved seats for my parents, Eli, his mom, and eventually Nick just as the ceremony started. The speeches went a little better than the first time after some live practice, and the kids made it through.

We found Eaddie outside and took a bunch of pictures, and then Summer and I headed home for the night. She went to the Neighborhood Market for some soda water, and I took Muad’Dib out for a run as the sun went down. At one point he disappeared into a wooded area after something, and the shock collar seemed ineffective. He did eventually return without much fuss, and we continued through the basin for a dip, then went through the roundabout before making it to my parents’ house. He ran reasonably well the whole way. My parents weren’t home, but I stopped to brush him out before we made it home.

I put on the second episode of Resident Alien after failing to come up with anything else to do, and then Eaddie got home from her senior night just as we were wrapping up for bed.

It really just isn’t.

Board Out of My Mind

I got in early again today and fought my task sequence some more. I was a little lost in priorities, but nothing new there. I feel like I lose everything I’ve learned at the end of the day, then have to start fresh every morning.

I met Kyle and Randy at Skinny J’s for their chicken strip basket special. Then I was hit with the afternoon jitters and got super anxious for the rest of the day. I don’t know if it’s medication or my brain, but I just felt a bit panicked all afternoon. It got better as quitting time approached, but then got a little worse again on the drive home.

Eaddie was to be recognized with other bandmates at the school board meeting, so I ran in to change and then went to the high school with Summer. We had to wait a few minutes, but then we herded everyone into a packed board room to hear their names called, then left.

Summer and I went home where she finished cooking chicken and veggies for dinner. Then I took Muad’Dib out for a run while Summer dropped into bed super early. Eaddie and Eli came over later and ate in front of the TV, and I went to bed myself.

Won’t let these time zones get to me.

Irreason

My days are creeping back and I’m arriving at work just a little bit earlier every day. I did fairly well in the morning, and finally started tinkering with TFTP block and window sizes to troubleshoot my slow boot image issue at the office. Wouldn’t you know, I fixed it on my first try. I was able to test multiple iterations of my task sequence the rest of the day.

Maggie and I rode with Randy to Gadwall’s for lunch, and I had some fairly disappointing nachos. I did like the cheese dip though. I think Maggie said it was Mexico Chiquito, but then she also said that was another restaurant, but I thought it tasted a bit like Stoby’s.

I slowly lost myself in the afternoon. I got home and ran Muad’Dib to Walgreens to pick up my escitalopram while Summer finished making a pork chop dinner. He did great on the run, and after dropping my meds off at home, we ran an abridged version of our normal route to see Dad. Eaddie was home and we ate when we got back to the house. Then we all had to go to the high school arena for the band awards.

The awards took a while, because they read off every single activity in which each senior participated. Eli had a super long list. Eaddie’s was long, but not long enough to beat his. She did get one of the three big awards at the end though, which was exciting for her. Eaddie stayed out, so Summer and I went to wash my car and then headed home to go to bed.

happy birthday

Are You Sidereus?!

I slept in a little bit today after a fairly long, rough day yesterday. Time had lost most of its meaning anyway. Summer was having coffee in the living room, and I think Eaddie went to school at least for a little while. Shawna actually responded back to my checking in on her lack of checking in. I said my peace, which went predictably about the same that it did fourteen years ago. At least it provided a bit of closure so I could keep my eyes forward.

Summer went to work for a while, and I took a shower and then put on some music while I assembled a metal locker I got from Vine for our dog accessories. Later in the afternoon, Summer met me at the Genesis Blood and Cancer Institute when she finished her workout. I had to pay a bunch more money (big surprise!) for reasons that could not be explained (when are we expecting America be great again?), and then we sat in the waiting room for nearly an hour before going back for vitals and then a chat with an eerily chipper Dr. Chen.

He entered the room with a cheery, “Hey buddy!” that had me dreading the worst news. It must be incredibly deflating to deal with a terminal as a profession, but he had good news. I now had too much iron. He dropped my supplements, and then suggested an SSRI for my anxiety attacks. I was leery of too much tinkering, but I’m no science-denier. We’ll try it his way.

We headed home, but it was too rainy to run Muad’Dib. Summer took a bath, and then we went out to Check H for dinner. We watched a Ricky Gervais Netflix special when we got home, then started for bed. Eaddie called late because she had lost the keys to the Murano and was stuck at the high school. I actually had a bit of dialog with Shawna to wrap up the night, and wrap up whatever the fuck happened there.

Hopefully we all learned a little about each other, and a lot about ourselves.

🚩 Took me 20 minutes lol 🚩

I Bleed Blood

I got up early for my appointment this morning, and Summer went with me just to get my blood drawn. The nurse couldn’t find the vein in my right arm, so she switched to my let and ended up taking it from my forearm instead of the inside of my joint. She got her fill, and we were done without another word. Summer went on to work, and I went home to a big, spicy glass of orange juice after feeling feelings all week long.

Eaddie and I watched some Daredevil clips until she got up to go to school, but she didn’t stay gone long. I don’t know if they actually kicked her out, or if she just decided it wasn’t worth her time, but she came home and surprised the heck out of me. Much later in the afternoon I picked up Summer from the carwash to go to Mulan’s for a late lunch.

I made it back home and crashed on the couch. The kids were around somewhere, possibly after having gone and come back. I wasn’t clear. Eaddie did have an awards ceremony to attend, so I got up and took Muad’Dib for a quick run before Summer got home.

We only stopped to see Dad briefly, then I saw Mark and his family out walking as we made it home. Summer was outside waiting on us, so I put Muad’Dib out back and quickly changed. We got to the Center for the Arts just in the to find a program and get seated, and they kept the house lights up the whole time for some reason. It was just a big to-do about awarding scholarships to the kids, which we’d never had to attend before. They packed it all in to just over two hours, and then we headed home.

Summer and I sat out on the porch for a bit to talk, but it a bit too heated to be particularly productive. We just feel stuck, and I don’t know where to focus our energy. I put her to bed and stayed up way longer than I wanted. I discovered one of her wine spigots had been dripping onto the rice dispenser, and leaked into the lid and down into the rice, so I had to throw out a handful of that. Eaddie came home after catching up with Maristela and talked to me briefly before going to bed. Tomorrow we’ll get to see how fast I’m dying, or maybe at least why they don’t think I have enough blood.

You can bet that I’d let you walk all over me.

Costly Affirmations

Today was mostly fighting parasitic thoughts after a fairly rough night. An attempt was made, to be sure, but it was all rumination on betrayal and disillusionment. Summer’s been unreasonably supportive throughout the entire thing, but that’s not without problems as well. We did manage to have a pretty good breakfast of pancakes, eggs, bacon, and sausage, but I could hardly keep myself from staring into space.

Eaddie got around and left for church and Summer went to the gym while I tried to draw focus. I cleaned up a little bit, broke down some boxes, and took out some recycling. At some point I did manage to get a shower, and later installed a light strip in the trunk of my car.

Summer got home from the gym and did some deep cleaning of her own, but things got really tense when I called out her poor substitutions, like cleaning with apple cider vinegar when she couldn’t find any white, and leaving furniture polish streaks on glass. I never try to make her feel bad, but she just doesn’t seem to get things, and I feel like I’m drowning.

The kids went out for a band picnic, so Summer thought we’d have some old frozen salmon fillets for dinner. I took over for her and thought I’d steam it and some veggies over some rice. I couldn’t find my steamer basket though, so I ran to the old house and ended up grabbing a different rice cooker that had its basket. While I was on the way over, I got a voice message from Mitch that he was in Little Rock for work. I called and talked to him for a bit, but ultimately decided against driving out for just an hour or so before he had to go to bed.

I started the rice and salmon, then ran to the Neighborhood Market for some quick frozen veggies to steam, then took Muad’Dib for a run. We went backwards to avoid an old lady walking a tiny dog, which was fine. We visited my parents, then went through the basin and back home. It was a bit chilly and quiet out, which might have been more peaceful if I hadn’t already felt incredibly uncomfortable.

We got home and Summer came out to eat. Dinner wasn’t great, but it was edible. At least the fish cooked all the way through. I laid down in bed with Summer for a while just to try and relax, and I started to pass out while she was scratching my back. I got up to wrap up the evening, and then Eaddie came home and wanted to chat with us for a bit before we all went to bed.

Sold Here

Toad Eye Four

We got up early and Eli came over so we could head to Conway for Summer’s Toad Suck Daze 10k. We got to the high school and dropped Summer off, and once the race was started, I took the kids to Sonic for a snack. We ate at the picnic table outside, then got back to the race just in time to find a place to watch Summer coming in for the finish line. We waited around for awards, but left once she found out she wasn’t getting anything.

I thought Randy was going to meet us, but we missed him. We went downtown early, before the festival was officially open, and wandered around the block for a bit. We finally landed at the Toad Dome where Summer wanted to watch baby races. The kids went to get a funnel cake, and then we all made it into the tiny bleachers to watch the toad races. They called for first-timers, and Eli got pulled up to race in the first round. He ended up getting a tiny toad though, and came in next-to-last place.

After that, we wandered down the block again and ended up having lunch at R&M Southern Eatery. They had a Cajun menu that pleased everyone. Eaddie got a huge pasta that she shared since she wasn’t actually that hungry. My gumbo was heavy on the rice and light on the gumbo, but tasted great. Eli had a pretty small looking chicken sandwich, but he said it filled him up. Summer was going to get chicken and waffles, but I talked her into chicken and beignes instead, which she loved.

After we ate, we headed across town and let the girls shop for a dress at Cato while Eli and I went to Dollar Tree for some snacks. That got us to the theater just in time for Thunderbolts*. I thought the movie was pretty good, but I wished they had spent some time explaining how they made Bob.

We left the movie and went across town so Eaddie could do some dress shopping for graduation. I got a pair of shoes to use an expiring reward, and Eaddie finally found some dresses at Old Navy. We headed home after that, and then I took Muad’Dib out for a run as the sun started to set. It was nice and cool out, so he was practically flying. We visited my parents for a little while, and made it home where I sat with Summer in front of the TV just briefly before she went to bed.

I want to be the one everyone can rely on if they make a mistake.