Tag: anger management

Uncategorised

About 180

I got up early today so I could pick Gary up for work. Zach and Thomas went on a trip with Jeff and possibly others to “experience” Avigilon at a couple of other schools, so they were gone pretty much all day. I don’t think anyone was super motivated to work, but I kept occupied. Gary came and spent some time with me, and then Justin came downstairs to talk about maintenance pay. It didn’t seem to take very long to get close to lunch time.

Gary had an appointment to check on his arm, so I took him to that around 11. We thought he was early and wouldn’t actually get to his appointment time until 11:30, but he ended up finishing relatively quickly. I had driven across town to pick up Summer, and we had just gotten some cheese dip at Stoby’s when he called and said he was done. Summer ordered some food for him, and I brought him back to the restaurant for lunch.

The afternoon dragged on a bit. Gary took a half day, so I took him home after dropping Summer off at work. I spent a little time gossiping with the girls up front until Josh came downstairs with a question from one of his teachers in the virtual academy. I took him back to my office for a little research, but couldn’t come up with a real answer from Google’s documentation. Zach and Thomas eventually showed up, and Zach spent a while on my couch before making his way to his office.

Eventually quitting time arrived, and I headed home to try and move my computer around. That went relatively poorly, on account of the questionable reliability of the computer I brought home, the home theater amplifier that wouldn’t receive audio from the computer’s HDMI output, and the awkward size of my monitor and speakers on such a small desk. I thought it was going to be great, but it’s actually pretty awful so far. Now my room is a mess, and I can’t even make it through a blog post without my computer freezing up on me.

But at least it’s quiet…?

Uncategorised

Stand Up

I got in to work this morning and continued work on what I had to say for the CPPC meeting. Justin happened to call me with some thoughts just as Gary came back to review it with me, so he came down and they both listened to what I had to say before the meeting at 9:30.

It was drizzly out, so I drove around the building to our central office. I got there without much time to spare, so once the meeting started I actually took a little bit to get myself situated to make my speech. I got all kinds of looks, but I was too concentrated on breathing through my mask to notice much. I said what I had to say, and I got roughly the response I thought I would. It’s our meeting, and we’re welcome to come up with whatever policy changes we would like. Janie was back after being out for the last meeting, and her response was actually less incendiary than any of us expected. I think overall it went well, because everyone was pretty involved in the discussion of every policy moving forward for the rest of the meeting – at least until people started to disappear, one by one.

I made it back to the shop about half an hour before lunch, which gave me just enough time to get settled before Gary came around and said we were going to McAlister’s. I drove him, Josh, and Thomas there to meet Greg, and of course my online order that I submitted while we were still halfway through the line came out after they had gotten theirs at the table and already started eating. Mine was deliciously customized though, with every free vegetable they offered.

After lunch, I spent most of the afternoon working on the CPPC minutes. I decided to leave out my 30 minute diatribe about Chrissy, and instead stuck to the policies we changed. I’ve felt better, but it didn’t feel bad to stand up for something I believe in either. Near the end of the day we got an email announcing the closure of school for the students tomorrow. Thomas’s policy is that we would work unless Central Office closed, which was a break from what we were used to with Ben. I’d much rather just have the day off like everyone else, obviously.

Just as I got home from work, Julie called to talk about our Disney trip. She felt that I was making a grave mistake by threatening Autumn over her grades. She didn’t think it was right to position our family vacation either as a punishment or reward. I tried to stop and let her know that it was a non-issue, but she stood on principle. It was clear there was nothing I could say to satisfy her. She started the conversation with clear intent. Frankly, I had run out of polite ways to tell her that it was none of her fucking business how we choose to parent. She ended the call by saying that Disney was cancelled, and hanging up on me.

I’ve only ever had one other person that was able to stress me out so instantaneously, and I swore myself out of that situation. Julie is evidently incapable of accepting that there are things that she cannot change, and she refuses not to fight over it at every chance possible. I’m absolutely through with it. I’m mustering every bit of will that I have to make good decisions for myself and for my family, and I will not have anyone bring me down from that. She can blame me or our family for all of her issues, and I do not care. In the end it is personal responsibility that you can rely on. I hope she makes a better life, but I won’t have her making mine worse.

I walked a brisk 1.6 miles on the treadmill with a glass of apple pie moonshine and a cream ale to calm the nerves, and ended the evening with a couple tacos and some fries because I’m no stranger to bad decisions either. Eyes forward.

Quit wasting my time.

Uncategorised

Bloody Sunday

I tried to sleep in just a little bit today, then woke up to Summer’s pancake breakfast. We broke out the bottle of Fruity Pebbles Mrs. Butterworth’s syrup, and the flavor was spot-on. We pretty much coasted the rest of the day though. Summer eventually went to the gym while I took a really long bath. The girls stayed in their rooms all day. Summer came back home and made some yeast rolls. I played some Don’t Starve in the evening. Summer somehow motivated Autumn to play a round on Ring Fit Adventure.

What a waste.

Uncategorised

Run For Your Life

I slept the best that I’ve slept for at least a month last night, and woke up mere seconds before my alarm went off, ready to face the day. I had plenty of time to get to work a couple minutes early and prepared myself a perfect cup of coffee for our meeting. Brody was told to come on down to the shop in spite of his masked status, so I just tried to keep my distance, and wore my mask any time we had to cross paths. Fortunately I was still able to help him over the phone after he left, because that’s what I did most of the day.

A group of us went to Quiznos for lunch, and I think they gave me a sandwich that was larger than they should have for my sandwich and soup combo. The chicken tortilla soup was awesome, but I dropped the last half of it in the floor on accident because we were trying to eat around a table that was simply too small for five of us.

I finally finished up my CPPC meeting minutes draft after staying half an hour late, and then headed home to get another package that had been intercepted by either Bác Vân or Doug. It’s really more annoying than anything, but I guess I’ll appreciate it more if I ever have something irreplaceable stolen.

I don’t think Autumn went to school, and instead was supposed to get a COVID test done because she said she hadn’t been feeling well the last couple of days. Summer got home late, but said Autumn was “ok,” which I thought meant she had a negative test. When I got to their house, I had gotten no more than two spoonfuls of soup into my mouth when Autumn said something about still being sick but not knowing what it was.

After wrestling with her in the bedroom, I knew I had to drop everything to wash up. Autumn is by far the least hygienic of any of the kids, so even when she’s not sick, touching her usually warrants a handwash. She’s embarrassingly disgusting almost all of the time, but this time I was literally afraid for my life. I still remember COVID. Nobody around me seems to be taking it at all seriously, and I just assume I’ll be the one to pay for it.

I ran out the door for home, shaking and crying out of some emotion or another. I had the worst fever of my entire life when I got COVID last year. The pneumonia had me down for weeks afterward, and I still have panic attacks that appear to just be a normal part of my life now. It’s uncontrollable and terrifying, but I deal with it well because of how self aware I am. Maybe that gives off a vibe that I’m not worried about it, but I’m actually always scared.

I shook it off the best I could when I got home. When I finally got settled in, I put on Don’t Look Up to get my mind off of things. As soon as the movie was over, it was straight to the bottle, though.

Maybe this isn’t working.

Uncategorised

Outernet

I was sleeping really deeply this morning, or perhaps really lightly. In either case, I barely crawled out of bed after seriously contemplating calling in sick. I squeaked into work and had just enough time to get settled and review some of the CPPC meeting notes before I had to walk across the street.

Judy brought donuts, and it was a pretty productive meeting. We voted on some new policies and a modification to the new salary schedule to be implemented this summer. As we wrapped up, I took a couple donuts back to the office for later. It was about lunch time, so after a little bit of poking around, Zach, Gary, and I went to Sam’s.

I tried the Sam’s Special with fried shrimp, which was pretty unimpressive. It wasn’t bad, but it just wasn’t nearly as good as anything else I’ve ever had there. Gary’s gyro looked pretty good though. Zach gave me a couple chicken strips to supplement my baby shrimp, so I was happy.

After lunch, Kyle and I went to run cable at Crawford and Oakland, while Greg and Zach drilled holes on the outside of the building to mount a couple wireless access points. That took us the rest of the day, and I was pretty tired afterward. Eaddie was at Oakland, so I took her with me to drop Kyle off, and then we went to my house to change.

When we got to their house, I started to assemble a ham bone soup in the Instant Pot. Summer picked up celery and onion for me, but I had the rest of what I needed here. I mixed a half cup of every kind of bean I could find here, and the soup turned out pretty good. I wish I could have left it to depressurize naturally, because I think the beans would have been fully cooked then, but it wasn’t bad.

Autumn went to some church event, and then came home complaining about not feeling well. She told Summer she wants to get tested, which infuriates me. I almost hope I die from COVID so she’ll feel some kind of remorse for going out and socializing like an idiot.

I don’t really want to die from it, though…

Uncategorised

Need a Little Christmas

Summer jumped out of bed early this morning and ruined the secret of Santa Claus for me. I couldn’t sleep in much and was a little hungry after having a complicated relationship with food last night, so I got up. Summer made us some scrambled eggs, and we eventually got both kids up enough to dump out their stockings. Eaddie was in an immediate mood, throwing an absolute tantrum at everything. I was very near slapping it out of her, and both girls just kept picking at one another.

We got Eaddie up and around to some chores, and eventually got everyone through the shower so we could make our way to my parents’ house. Summer made all of our contribution to lunch, and we were off.

Bác Vân and Doug beat us there. I think Julie made most of the food and was about two hours late. Eaddie took a nap in my bedroom until the food was ready, and came out in much better form. We ate, did our quickest round of presents ever, and then left so I could clean up house a bit for some friends.

I had messaged Diana happy birthday earlier in the day, and she said they were in town along with Josue and wanted to get together. They agreed on a fire at my place and we all met up for a nice quiet evening outside. It was really nice seeing them all again, and the kids enjoyed some roasted marshmallows.

Josue stuck around for a little while and chatted with me after the others left. The girls all went to sleep, and eventually we packed everything up and he headed out. By then, I was ready for bed too.

Hasn’t snowed a single flurry, but Santa dear we’re in a hurry!

Uncategorised

Alright, Bud

I woke up feeling pretty sick this morning after last night. I made it through my shower and to work, but it didn’t get better for quite a while, and I never quite made it back to 100%. Thomas was at work, but Zach and Gary were out. The others got together and split up into groups to close old work orders, and I went to Oakland to swap out old Chromebooks.

Brody called and said they were going to Fat Daddy’s downtown for lunch, so I went back to the shop and picked a group of them up. After we ordered, our server told us they were slammed with a short staff, and it showed when it took an hour to get our food. That would have made more sense if the food was actually hotter or fresher. They never cease to disappoint me, this time with a tough, dry tortilla, lukewarm filling, and dry, tough brisket. All of that was $17, and of course the server stands over you while you pay on their handheld device that everyone else has touched, making tipping accurately very awkward. I was out the door for just under 22 bucks, which absolutely disgusted me.

I spent the afternoon with more of the same, not quite finishing what I had started. I should be able to finish tomorrow for our half day though. As I finished, I started a support chat with Google because my Pixel Buds have been giving me trouble with battery life. My right bud constantly dies very early, after only two hours of playback. The battery percentage always reports with some disparity, but the right one has consistently been giving me less than half of the life it should have.

After work, I went home to change and then went to my eye appointment. I nearly fell asleep in the exam room waiting for the new doctor. She was kind, but I don’t think I got great news. It’s odd, because my vision doesn’t seem worse, but she seemed to indicate sub-optimal results. I guess we’ll see in 2023, because I dropped vision insurance for next year.

I went back home and waited for my UPS package, and then went up to Summer’s for the evening. Eaddie and I watched an episode of House while Summer and Autumn watched TV in the living room. Then everyone went to bed pretty early.

Just turn down your muchness.

Uncategorised

HAM on Ham

I went to bed pretty late last night, and then didn’t sleep in very long. I think I already knew I wasn’t going to get much done, and it didn’t feel great. When I got up, I picked at things in the fridge and eventually went home to clean up.

Summer had her store’s Christmas party, and made deviled eggs, mashed potatoes, and a ham. I was just a bystander, running late. I got my shower and came back to pick up Eaddie and the ham, then made it to the shop at a fair time considering when others were strolling in. It wasn’t a full turnout, which I considered disappointing.

We ate, cleaned up, and then went back up to their house.l I didn’t stick around too long, and came back home to do some chores. I started a load of laundry, and then had another annoying argument with Julie over nothing. I never know how these things start. It’s as though her existence breeds conflict. Dad mentioned that Julie didn’t appreciate the “Miss” prefix that Summer often casually attaches to people when she addresses them.

It’s really just not worth the effort to try any more, and I’m done with the excuses and the blame game. I finished my laundry, had a bunch to drink, watched some YouTube, and went to bed.

The backlash to the backlash to the thing that’s just begun.

Uncategorised

Doldrumly

The girls had me a little behind this morning, but I made it to work on time. It was pretty quiet all day long, and I think everyone was a bit bored around the shop. It’s odd that we have some techs with so many older work orders, and Zach has been struggling to inspire them.

I met Greg and the Trifecta at Old South for lunch, where I go the Reuben on a rushed whim. It was good, but didn’t seem to have any sauce on it, and the corned beef tasted a little bit old. Otherwise it was an awkwardly quiet lunch.

Afterward, I went by Oakland for a while and returned to the shop with an armful of Chromebooks. I fixed one, couldn’t find an issue with the second, and didn’t have a resolution for the third. Quitting time came slowly, but then snuck up on me at the last minute.

I ran home to change and get the crutches, then went to my parents’ house to see them for a bit. Mom cracked the bone right above her ankle and was in a boot, but was still spirited enough to argue about things that nobody cared about, and already agreed upon.

When I left there, I decided to go up to Summer’s for the evening. She was wrapping presents and the girls were doing late night chores after being away from home, and otherwise being lazy. Autumn expressed frustration and a feeling of unfairness about who went to New York on the band trip, and I wasn’t having any of it, knowing how little she practices. I remember how bad she is at squawking the clarinet. She earned nothing, and I was ready to fight about it.

Everyone went off to bed pretty quickly after that. I hadn’t slept very much all week, so it was as good a time as any to start.

I’ll show you attitude.

Uncategorised

P is for Parked

I woke up an hour earlier than a workday today so we could get Summer to Little Rock for her exercise event. I still felt pretty sour from last night, but I made it work. We stopped to get breakfast from McDonald’s in Conway, and I just ate mine once we got to Little Rock.

It was a really small crowd of people there. In fact, it was only five teams of five competing. I dropped Summer off and went to Kroger for some bottled water and a bathroom, and then went back and waited for five hours for them to finish. I took the time to test my Pixel Buds battery life some more, and I’m still getting wildly different battery life reported from each earbud. I wouldn’t expect them to be regularly 25% off from one another.

Summer had a blast, and when they finished, we went right around the block to a ghost town Red Lobster. The manager came out to seat us and complained about his lack of staff. He said they were down to three servers for the day, and it showed during our over-two hour visit. At least the food was pretty decent.

When we finished there, I drove us across town to hunt for a deal at Home Depot. The guy that helped us was very kind, but in the end it was up to Summer and me to roam aimlessly until we just happened upon a strip of them near the electrical boxes.

Our nest stop was Target for some gifts, and then Kohl’s to blow some rewards cash. We just picked up a few little things, but I was more or less satisfied enough to head home. Traffic was awful the entire way though, and it just cemented my absolute loathing for the holidays. I was tense the entire trip back.

The girls got home from their grandparents’ house shortly after we got home. Eaddie made first chair at all-region, and evidently she completely obliterated the competition. Autumn was bitter, and we had to have a sit-down talk with her, again. I just told her she needed to put enough work into getting good at something so we could be proud of her for any reason at all, instead of just making everyone hate her.

Eaddie and I ended the night with a couple episodes of House. I was exhausted, but still didn’t actually get to bed until after midnight.

Well that was… ill advised.