Stand Up

I got in to work this morning and continued work on what I had to say for the CPPC meeting. Justin happened to call me with some thoughts just as Gary came back to review it with me, so he came down and they both listened to what I had to say before the meeting at 9:30.

It was drizzly out, so I drove around the building to our central office. I got there without much time to spare, so once the meeting started I actually took a little bit to get myself situated to make my speech. I got all kinds of looks, but I was too concentrated on breathing through my mask to notice much. I said what I had to say, and I got roughly the response I thought I would. It’s our meeting, and we’re welcome to come up with whatever policy changes we would like. Janie was back after being out for the last meeting, and her response was actually less incendiary than any of us expected. I think overall it went well, because everyone was pretty involved in the discussion of every policy moving forward for the rest of the meeting – at least until people started to disappear, one by one.

I made it back to the shop about half an hour before lunch, which gave me just enough time to get settled before Gary came around and said we were going to McAlister’s. I drove him, Josh, and Thomas there to meet Greg, and of course my online order that I submitted while we were still halfway through the line came out after they had gotten theirs at the table and already started eating. Mine was deliciously customized though, with every free vegetable they offered.

After lunch, I spent most of the afternoon working on the CPPC minutes. I decided to leave out my 30 minute diatribe about Chrissy, and instead stuck to the policies we changed. I’ve felt better, but it didn’t feel bad to stand up for something I believe in either. Near the end of the day we got an email announcing the closure of school for the students tomorrow. Thomas’s policy is that we would work unless Central Office closed, which was a break from what we were used to with Ben. I’d much rather just have the day off like everyone else, obviously.

Just as I got home from work, Julie called to talk about our Disney trip. She felt that I was making a grave mistake by threatening Autumn over her grades. She didn’t think it was right to position our family vacation either as a punishment or reward. I tried to stop and let her know that it was a non-issue, but she stood on principle. It was clear there was nothing I could say to satisfy her. She started the conversation with clear intent. Frankly, I had run out of polite ways to tell her that it was none of her fucking business how we choose to parent. She ended the call by saying that Disney was cancelled, and hanging up on me.

I’ve only ever had one other person that was able to stress me out so instantaneously, and I swore myself out of that situation. Julie is evidently incapable of accepting that there are things that she cannot change, and she refuses not to fight over it at every chance possible. I’m absolutely through with it. I’m mustering every bit of will that I have to make good decisions for myself and for my family, and I will not have anyone bring me down from that. She can blame me or our family for all of her issues, and I do not care. In the end it is personal responsibility that you can rely on. I hope she makes a better life, but I won’t have her making mine worse.

I walked a brisk 1.6 miles on the treadmill with a glass of apple pie moonshine and a cream ale to calm the nerves, and ended the evening with a couple tacos and some fries because I’m no stranger to bad decisions either. Eyes forward.

Quit wasting my time.

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