Tag: anxiety

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The Breakdown

I got up this morning to an empty house and checked on Muad’Dib. I didn’t have any messages about Stilgar, so I got showered and took the Pathfinder to visit Animal Control to see if they picked him up. In hindsight I guess I could have called again, but I was desperately hoping I’d get to bring him home. As soon as I got into the car, I saw how filthy it was from all of Eaddie’s junk in the passenger seat, center console, back seat, and trunk. There was crap everywhere, and the gas tank was empty to boot. I wasn’t even sure I’d make it to the shelter, so I turned around and went to Casey’s for some gas first. I redeemed a birthday donut and ate that in the parking lot, then made my way to the shelter.

The two ladies that were working said they hadn’t picked up anything like Stilgar, but immediately knew of him when I mentioned that Nancy had called 911 the day before. They said they had a couple people call about them killing cats, and that one of them, presumably the man, threatened to shoot them if they came around again. I think I knew it all along when Muad’Dib showed up by himself, but it really sank in when I got home and found the “final warning” door tag they had just left on our front door before I drove over.

I brought the leashes in from the car and had an absolute screaming fit before going outside to hold Muad’Dib. He hadn’t been eating, but he would take a few kibbles out of my hand if I offered them. We went out riding around to look for Stilgar, but didn’t hear a thing in the neighborhood. It was almost eerily quiet. We went all the way up Inglewood and visited the bank so I could pay Dad back for writing my sales tax check to the DMV. I realized I didn’t have my wallet once I got to the window, so we had to ride back home to get that, then made it back to the bank.

We waited longer the second time, but eventually got the cash and rode back to my parents’ house to give the money to Dad. That was when I realized they shorted me by 95 cents. We got back home and I got Muad’Dib situated in the backyard. Then I changed clothes and decided to take some returns to The UPS Store and then wash my car before going back to the bank for a third time.

The UPS Store visit was short and sweet since I took care of all the re-taping at home. The car wash was mostly out of soap, so it was a short wash. As I sprayed the side of my car, I noticed a fleck of white appear on the driver side rocker panel. Paint had actually flaked right off under relatively light pressure. I suspect they’ll try to deny it under warranty, but I feel like it’s worth pressing. Finally, I made it all the way back across town to get my missing 95 cents, and took Aaron for a ride in the new Model 3. I took him to our house since he had driven down Inglewood anyway. After I dropped him off, I went by the Neighborhood Market to get some hamburger meat to make tacos and clean up the veggies we still had at home.

I was unboxing Vine deliveries when Summer came home, and I was nearly shaking from the confrontation I knew we were about to have. Then she hit me with, “Why have you been ignoring me?” “I’ve been exhausted and in a tremendous amount of pain from riding 25 miles looking for my dog.” “You’ve been ignoring me all week.” I trembled as I yelled at her to leave me alone, and had another screaming fit in the laundry room after she slammed the back door going out to see our one remaining dog.

I eventually gathered myself enough to try and talk to her, but then after nearly eight years, she finally felt something strongly enough to yell at me. She was mad that “everything was her fault.” Ironically, that was precisely why I was mad as well. Of course she was wrong, but of course I wasn’t going to give her a list of all the stupid things she’s done on a daily basis to make my life more difficult at best, no matter how many times she asked me to name something. It was mutually assured destruction.

I had to clean myself up and went back outside to hold Muad’Dib, but knocked on the door to tell Summer she could come out too. She had calmed down and wanted to go to the gym, but I told her I had stuff to make burritos and that I hadn’t eaten anything all day. Then I asked her the question that’s been buzzing in my head for weeks: Did she book a hotel in Indianapolis with car charging?

“I don’t know.”

Eaddie got home just as Summer left for the gym, and we talked for a while as I cooked. We both ate, and then I had to go back to the store to get some Theraflu for my parents. Everyone was pretty much off to bed by the time I got home for the night, and I was up late stewing in my head for the next few hours.

Broke the Bank

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Call Me Now for Your Free Reading!

I was even earlier to work today, and pulled in right behind Kyle. He was still having trouble installing Features on Demand, but didn’t stick around very long. It was mostly Gary, Maggie, and me in the office all day. All of the guys called me several times for help, totaling 19 calls by the end of the day. I left to get McDonald’s for lunch and had my best experience at that location by far. The food was all really hot and fresh for once.

The afternoon went by quickly since I took lunch so late, and just as I was trying to leave I got an email from our HVAC guy because we broke his access to the old server when we finally got Windstream to forward the address to the new server. Kyle ended up calling to find out it wasn’t critical, so we went home.

I stopped for a while to charge before making it home through awful traffic again. Eaddie and her friend Autumn were there, but left while Summer worked on the couch. I took the dogs out for a long run to Ridgewood hoping for some barbecue, and had to stop at Kroger when I found an abandoned cart on the bike trail behind the building. When we got to the entrance, we spotted Mia and Aimee selling Girl Scout cookies. While we were talking to them, Mom and Dad walked out with some groceries.

We made it to the restaurant, but they were completely packed. I briefly saw Grant run outside, so I yelled at him and we left. We came through the basin for another bath, then went to my parents’ house and then home. The dogs did pretty well overall, but Stilgar pulled the leash quite a bit.

I wanted to clean up some mashed potatoes and coleslaw, so I went to KFC to pick up some chicken. Summer and I ate and then she went to bed. Eaddie came home pretty late and went straight to bed. I got there eventually.

You can’t fool Miss Cleo!

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Driverless

After being overcast all day yesterday, it finally rained most of today. I brought some leftover pizza to work, which prompted Randy and Kyle to want pizza for lunch. Things were fairly quiet most of the day, in preparation for another heated board meeting about budget cuts in the evening. I helped Gary and Charles image a couple laptops, but had to figure out why they didn’t seem to have the right RAID drivers.

The car drove Maggie, Charles, and me to Larry’s for lunch, which was super good. We got there right as they opened, and they somehow maintained a flow of fresh pies that was enough to feed a growing dining room. Then the afternoon was a lights-off kind of day until quitting time.

I stopped for nearly a full charge on the way home since I’d be losing my free supercharging by the end of the month. Then I took the dogs for a good backwards walk where we went up the hill, down to see Dad, and then through the slightly-flooded basin trail. Summer was home when we made it back, and the boys got hot dogs and dinner while I tinkered with some old Vine stuff that had been sitting around for a while.

Summer went to bed, Eaddie got home pretty late, and I tried to go to bed early so I could try and get some extra birthday treats in the morning.

Pizza, pizza!

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Electrotherapy

The dogs were asleep on the porch when I got up, but as soon as I got to work, Summer texted that they were gone. I texted Dad, and they both went out looking. Dad was able to recover them and Summer used a sledgehammer to bury some wooden stakes along the fenceline, but it was too late. Dad texted that his neighbor found a dead cat, and later said she reported them to animal control. I was pretty uptight about it at work all day, but there was nothing I could do from there. I worked on what I could, and dreaded what work had to be done when I got home.

Charles called our Dell vendor to complain about having to deal with customer service when repairing laptops, and got us free lunch out of the deal. Whole Hog tasted like free lunch, too. I had the brisket sandwich, potato salad, and beans, and it was a pretty miserable looking plate. The sandwich was about 60% bun, 20% brisket, and 20% slaw. It didn’t taste bad, but it wasn’t good, and it was cold to boot. The serving size was a small ice cream scoop of potatoes, and the most shallow single-layer of baked beans on a divided plate that you could imagine.

The afternoon went by fairly quickly, and Randy and Jim would be out for the rest of the week to go to the Howard conference in Alabama. I headed toward home, Supercharged, and walked in to Summer ruining what leftovers we had from Noah’s dinner. She ruined a huge pot of rice trying to fry it with the squash and zucchini. What resulted was basically a gummy rice dough with completely indiscernible vegetables, and thankfully no steak. I would have walked out if she ruined those T-bones on top of everything else.

We had an argument, and I feel pretty confident she learned nothing again. I went out to make sure the dogs would be secure after her shoddy patchwork and found a different place where they had started to dig. We ate, and then had to run to the high school for a pretty crappy band concert that ran about an hour behind.

The mentally deficient couple behind us in the second row talked loudly during the concert band’s portion, and I turned around to glare at them. They were mostly quiet for Eaddie’s symphonic band, until the point where the guy tapped a link on his phone, or otherwise somehow unmuted whatever video he was watching. After the day I’d had, it took every fiber of my shaking body not to turn around and knock him out in front of the whole auditorium.

We made it home and it was another mad dash to get to bed. The dogs may get chained up in the morning if they dig any more overnight. The only other real progress I made was when I learned how to properly attach their shock collars around the front or side of their necks instead of the back. I tested them out and got Stilgar pretty good when he started barking at one point. It’ll be good to take them on a run sometime how that the shock can actually be felt. I also made a double-ended slip collar to leave with Dad so we won’t keep having to run back and forth for tools.

More like Won’t Listen-Al-Gaib and Not Stillthere.

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Temp Down for What

I stayed up super late, so I set an alarm to keep myself from sleeping too late, but I actually woke up just a few minutes before it went off. Summer was up on the couch, but Eaddie was still asleep. I caught up on my Vine queue, and actually got a couple packages delivered in the morning. The roads didn’t seem bad right outside, but I didn’t even think to get out and try to register my car.

After letting my meds settle, I had a barbecue sandwich for lunch and then cleaned the kitchen and washed dishes. I let the water heater rebuild a bit before taking a shower, but just before I needed to rinse myself off, the water went ice cold. Eaddie had started to take a shower, and evidently the cold weather was enough to sap the entire tank of hot water.

I got out and eventually made it over to the old house to clean off my old desk. Along the way, I had a really long anxiety attack where it felt like the road stretched out in front of me, the way the lens pulls back to give the vertigo effect in Jaws. Once I got to there and cleaned everything off of the desk, Dad came over to help me move it out of the room so the restoration guys could come clean the carpet. There’s still lots to move, but the house is looking pretty empty now. There’s still no vanities or cabinets in the bathrooms, so I don’t know who’s coming to do that.

Once we finished there, I ran home to run the dogs before it got dark. It was freezing cold out, and my glove batteries died, but I stayed warm enough just having gloves at all. The dogs did pretty well, and we took a bit of an odd route home. I fired up the propane grill when we got back, and warmed up their hot dogs before grilling burgers for the girls.

We just had frozen Great Value burger patties, and I completely forgot to season them with anything, but they turned out really good. Summer prepped all the veggies and helped me make some cheese dip, which I think only she and I ate. We’ll have some leftovers for tomorrow since schools are closed again.

I was pretty exhausted after that, so I wrapped things up early and went to bed.

Dolly zoom!

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Just Wandering

I got to witness someone going off the road into the grass this morning because they were outdriving their brakes. I think someone hit a deer at the 430 split, and it had traffic backed up for a couple miles. I still beat the important people to work, and it was another day in the doldrums after that. I brought some containers to take the leftover barbecue and coleslaw home, and I helped plug in a TV.

Dustin took us out for a vendor lunch at Brood & Barley. I refused to pay $4 for parking, so I reparked a block away for free. The components of our meals were good, but I thought the Philly sandwich special had about a third of the filling that it should have for the price. It honestly tasted mostly of corn and avocado. Maggie had a meatloaf sandwich that would probably have been better as a burger.

The afternoon was quiet and dull, and I was still hungry. Not much success anywhere. I was eager to get out, charge, and make it home to run the dogs. Summer was making dinner, and just as I was walking out the back door, Zany called to say they had gotten into her yard and that she was about to walk them back, but they had gotten out and run off. I rode toward the basin, then came back up and found them at the top of Ridgewood. We took an odd course to my parents’ house, then came home backwards.

Summer’s salmon, asparagus, and potato dinner was actually really good, but then she wanted to talk to Noah about his asking to borrow money. Eaddie had Eli over for a bit, but Summer and I were stuck talking to the misguided one. I stayed up way too late after that, and I was exhausted.

What union?!?

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Western Hierarchy

We didn’t do breakfast today, so I quickly toasted some bread for a couple more dried pork foldovers. We got out of the house early to pick up some phở from the same restaurant we’d been going to, and took it to Uncle Tuấn. He still had something in his mouth when we got there, and was super groggy and disoriented. We got him cleaned up, and then Julie did much of the feeding. Lan eventually showed up and finished the job as he became more aware of his surroundings. She kept cramming him full of more and more, even after he finished an entire serving of phở, and Julie was worried he was going to be made sick. That was the start of it all.

Julie wanted to go to Open Rice for a dim sum lunch, and Lan and her sister followed along slowly after us. Our server was great, and worked around our family feud incredibly well. Julie ended up picking a fight with Lan over turning in the dim sum menu, which turned into a fight over unearned Asian family hierarchal respect. It got loud super quickly, and we just continued to pass apologetic glances back and forth with our server.

The food was good, and Dad won the race to pay the check, which got Bác Trân a slip of receipt paper that said “Happy Lunar New Year” on it. She really was the best server I think we’ve ever seen. Lan’s sister brought a plastic sack full of nylon webbing that was “like parachute rope” for Julie to take, but of course she didn’t want any of that. They disappeared and I decided to walk the block to Best Buy to charge my watch a bit more, because I figured they’d be right behind me.

Nearly an hour later, my watch was full and they finally made it to the car so we could leave. We went back to the house to rest for a bit, and Julie and I sat out back with some beers in the nice weather. Mom came to get us when it was time to get dinner, and they tried to take him some leftovers from lunch while Julie and I crossed town to find a Costco to make goodie bags for the staff of 35 we were told cared for Bác Tuấn.

We got a bunch of stuff, then stopped at Michael’s for some craft paper for notes, and made it back to the nursing facility just before closing. He ate something Lan had brought, and we eventually all loaded up to leave. Julie had everyone in an assembly line to make goodie bags, and then wrote over 40 “Thank You” notes to not only the 35 caregivers we were told, but also some extras with the extra goodies we had.

With that, it was finally time to settle in for our last night in the Airbnb. We’ll have to check out pretty early tomorrow, but only after packing up and helping to clean up some of our mess in exchange for getting an early check-in and late checkout.

Diacritical Hit!

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Half Awake

I got to sleep in a little bit from my normal work schedule, but still had to hit the ground running. I had all but a couple of things packed and ready to go and thought I might have enough time to take the dogs for a quick run, but after staying up so late to pack, I just didn’t make it out. Dad felt like we were super late, so he sped over to get me and then had to go back and get Mom, but they could have just finished loading themselves up first.

After a harrowing trip across town, Julie took over and got us to the airport. We got parked, through security, and onto the plane without any trouble or much wait. Things seemed pretty quiet in the airport. We had a straight shot to Charlotte, but then that airport was under major construction. It was a mess getting out of there, but we finally got our rental van and made it to the Airbnb.

It was an old house, next to some brand new construction, all behind a church. It seemed like an odd place, and just a couple blocks away there was a coliseum where Jo Koy would actually be performing on the Saturday after our departure. The house was pretty rough, and it basically looked like someone moved out and filled it with a bunch of cheap furniture to rent out. I suppose it suited our needs at a better price than multiple hotel rooms, but I think I would have preferred something with better housekeeping.

We didn’t get to spend much time settling in because we had to get back to the airport to get Bác Trân. If anyone thought it was a circus before, then I don’t know what it turned into at that point. It was a wonder he didn’t get kidnapped, but with some help from a kind stranger we found him and loaded him up. Julie wanted to look for food, but we went back to the Airbnb first to get him settled. I finally got a call from the Genesis Cancer and Blood Institute to schedule my visit, and of course that’s another two weeks out. Then we ended up going to an Ethiopian restaurant just up the road called Abugida.

We struggled to get some help with the menu at first, but after talking to who I presume was the owner, we ended up on a big platter for all of us to share. It all came with one spoon for serving, and the rest was eaten with our hands. I think it went much better than any of us expected, and the food was great. Mom ended up using the spoon to load her injera, but everyone got fed.

After we ate, we went further into the city and found a Trader Joe’s, which I think was too organic for everyone but Julie. Mom wanted some sweeter coffee creamer, and they didn’t have any eggs, so Dad and I walked to Target a couple of blocks back. Julie drove Mom and Bác Trân to meet us, and we got the rest of what we needed. Importantly, I got some Simply Spiked and mango Blue Moon for Julie and me.

Most of us were up too late once we got back to the house. I eventually had a video call with Summer to catch up. Julie and I sat in the dining area on our laptops for a while, and eventually everyone but Mom and Bác Trân went to bed. They stayed up in front of the TV until the wee hours of the night, talking too loudly and watching gameshows.

Half Asleep

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Professional Emailer

Work was a bit of a blur today because I was rushing to clean things up for the rest of the week. I still didn’t really tie up any loose ends because Jim was having trouble with imaging and I got sucked into SCCM. I did send out a couple of my trademarked customer service emails, where I resolved one issue and started helping someone on another.

Randy said he wanted a pizza buffet for lunch, and I reminded him that Cici’s was still doing their early week $4.99 deal. He, Charles, and I ended up going there, and it was pretty good. I missed out on my barbecue and spinach Alfredo, but I loved my salad.

When we got back to the office, Greg and Scott were in the building, which startled Randy. He disappeared for a bit, and then had a meeting with them afterward. I ended up staying a little bit late just trying to clean things up, but I couldn’t stay very late because I had to meet Summer in Conway for our dinner date.

I stopped to charge first, then met her at Old Navy to return the pants Eaddie didn’t like. Then we went to Outback and had what I thought was a super overpriced, poorly-cooked meal. The Bloomin’ Onion was good, but my baked potato was burned. The steak was pretty chewy, but it was a deal for a sirloin that came with a salad and cheesecake for dessert. Paying $70 for all of that plus a tip was wild.

From there, I headed home quickly so I could take the dogs out. Of course it was super dark out by the time we made it, but they did fairly well. They did try to chase a cat, and I had to yank them back and discipline for fear they’d yank me off the board again. We made it to my parents’ house, where Julie called in to verify some travel plans. Then I got the dogs home for their dinner.

Summer was settling in quickly, Eaddie came home and went straight to her room without a word, and I spent all night trying to pack and get things cleaned up for the girls to minimize their stress while I’m gone.

All my bags are packed. I’m ready to go.

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Rolled Foods

The drive to work was super foggy this morning. For the first several miles, I could barely see a couple car lengths ahead, so I had to take things slow. Gary and Randy were there, but things were quiet. Maggie gave me a sausage, egg, and cheese eggroll from the donut shop up the road. After that, the most excitement we saw was our CDW rep getting successfully phished. He tried shipping us a lab-worth of laptops, but luckily they caught it. Randy wanted to gripe at Steven, but of course when the conference call actually happened, he was much less confrontational. I told him not to rag on him too hard in spite of the PO printed in Comic Sans. He’s a human dealing with paperwork from possibly hundreds of clients.

I ended up taking lunch by myself, so I thought I’d try Blue Coast Burrito. It was a bit like a Chipotle, but for the hood. The food was good though, and they had individual cups of different salsas available by the drinks. I would have preferred a salsa bar to eliminate the plastic waste, but the salsa was good. After that, I went by Walmart to check their clearance aisle. It’s always sparse, but since they also sold beer, I picked up a couple things for Summer.

On the way back to the shop, I picked up some fries from Rally’s since I had an expiring coupon. Then the afternoon was mostly dull and quiet. I tried getting Jim into SCCM, but for some reason his laptop wouldn’t connect to the server.

There was an accident or something on the way home, so traffic was super slow for about a quarter of the way to Conway. I didn’t really have to, but I stopped to charge so I wouldn’t run my battery too low. Summer had dinner going again, so I quickly ran the dogs and made it home to eat. She made a sort of baked chicken cordon bleu with Burssels sprouts and mashed sweet potato. I thought it was all really good, but the potatoes were cold, which made them taste more like pie.

After we ate, I had a bunch of big Vine packages to process. My absolute favorite was a watch winder that felt pretty high quality from the moment I opened the shipping package. It was in another brown shipping type box, which housed a well-padded retail box. The winder itself was super cool looking. I never thought I’d actually get one, but I’d wanted one ever since I saw the dressup scene of the first Doctor Strange. I had to search to find out why his watches were spinning, and from that moment I knew I wanted one. Funny enough, his setup probably didn’t actually wind his watches because they were all laying flat instead of standing upright.

I tried not to stay up too late after that. I contacted the clinic again because I still hadn’t heard from a hematology referral. She sent me a prescription for iron, but the antibiotics she put me on specifically say not to take them with iron products because it reduces their absorption. Hopefully I can just take them a few hours apart, but it still got me worried about how urgent this alleged anemia is. She said to call the clinic myself on Tuesday, but didn’t tell me which clinic. I was feeling really good about having a new PCP, but now I’m questioning it.

Ah, cramp.