Tag: anxiety

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Down and Dizzy

Summer made us some sausage, egg, and cheese biscuits for breakfast this morning, and I sat down to finalize my taxes. With passionate people on either side of the aisle, I went with an itemized deduction that felt fair in the spirit of the law and ended up paying a couple thousand more than what I had already started to withhold from my day job.

Eaddie was gone all day for “church” and then just living her life. Summer sat on the couch the entire day feeling pretty sorry for herself. I tried to get her to go out and walk Muad’Dib with me, but she just refused. We did warm up a chicken pot pie we picked up yesterday and ate that for a late lunch, and then I watered my plants and finally split and repotted the pink quill before taking a shower.

It looked a bit dark and stormy outside, so I took Muad’Dib for his best run all week. He must have really enjoyed the cool air. We visited my parents, and then just a block from home, I swerved back to make sure Muad’Dib didn’t run out into traffic, and the board got away from me. It wasn’t a terrible fall, but I messed up my knee and it felt progressively worse all night.

I made Summer get out of bed and watch me eat some meatloaf for a late dinner, and then wrapped up pretty quickly for bed. I had an anxiety attack in the afternoon while I was doing my taxes, and also felt waves of generalized anxiety for much of the day and beyond, so hopefully finishing my taxes and getting plenty of sleep will help get me out of that funk.

My meats are failing!

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All of Pardon

I woke up feeling pretty good this morning, so we went by Hardee’s to try their Frisco Breakfast Burger. It was a substantial meal, and I ended up chewing my last bite as I got parked at work. Things were quiet until I realized I had two calls to attend. The first was some “training” with the guys in the field that devolved a bit, but hopefully we got some actionable things out of it. Then in the early afternoon we had our weekly call with the Aptean folks without much of an agenda.

I forgot to go to lunch before our second call, so I just ended up drinking my Soylent that I didn’t drink for breakfast. The afternoon dragged a bit after that since we never really took a break.

Traffic wasn’t bad, but it was incredibly slow getting home. We planned to take Mom out for her birthday, but as usual, nothing really called to her. After a bit of back and forth, we ended up meeting everyone at Olive Garden. We walked around outside with Muad’Dib until everyone else got there. I had submitted a reservation through Google Maps and there wasn’t a line of people, but for some reason it did take them some time to seat us.

Dinner was good, and our server loaded us up with what appeared to be a career-ending number of dinner mints. I took Muad’Dib for a short run when we got back and had an anxiety attack at the end of our road. Then Summer went to bed while I finished up my stuff for the night.

Hey you! The sky’s on fire!

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Raise the Dead

I didn’t feel like I slept especially poorly last night, but I was in a deep sleep when my alarm went off this morning, and it took me forever to get going. I had a pretty jarring anxiety attack as we walked out the door. We got to work and I felt a little bit better, then had some coffee after a little while. I was super hungry by lunch, and Arby’s seemed like as good of a choice as anything. They had a fish sandwich box, and I got some extra fries to share with Muad’Dib.

We sat on a rock outside and ate in some surprisingly gusty wind. He did pretty great, and then I let him run up the road back to the office. I started to feel a little off in the afternoon, and I couldn’t figure out why. I’ve suspected the quality of my food, but it kind of feels like all I can do is go on a full Soylent diet to really test the theory.

The afternoon carried on, and then I took Muad’Dib for a run when we got home. He was frustratingly slow the whole way to the basin, so I stopped to sit down at a bench while he dove into the creek. Then I let him lead me through the neighborhood to Sequoyah where we turned up to the roundabout and back through the basin again. I let him take a swim in the cleaner, deeper part where we normally stop, and then we made it to see Dad. We waited for Mom to get home to try and confirm birthday plans, and then made it back to the house.

I gave Muad’Dib a really good bath and he did great. I spent a lot of extra time blow drying him instead of using his old, gross, dirty towel that needs laundering. He came out super fluffy, and was a good pup all night. Summer and I ate some different leftovers, and I started feeling a bit off again, so I laid down on the couch for a while. She went to sleep pretty quickly, and I tried to make it to bed a little earlier.

MOVE IT

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‘Cause if You Like It, but You’re Afraid of Early Release Bugs, Then You Shoulda Put an Update Ring on It

More pork chop sandwiches this morning. I had an okay day tinkering with some more Intune compliance stuff, then had an anxiety attack before a late lunch. It was a good, but windy day to sit outside Taco Bell, and then the afternoon was less painfully long.

Summer had a late meeting, so we got to the house and then immediately left for a run. Muad’Dib just casually trotted along the whole way, and it’s not even hot yet. We saw Dad before he left for church, and then got home and ate some leftovers. A bunch more had gone bad, so I threw that stuff out and took out the recycling just as Summer got there.

We spent some time outside cleaning up the driveway in preparation for some rain. I got Summer up on the roof to blow out the gutters as it got dark, and then she showered and went to bed. I cleaned up some more, then followed suit.

Whoa-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh.

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Eat Late, Even Great

I had a little trouble sleeping, but felt okay when I got up. I ate half of my pork chop sandwich on the way in, then Teisha helped me set up my speakers in the conference room just to test things out. We got everything working, so it should be perfect for the company picnic. I finished my sandwich a little later as I tinkered some more with Intune, and did a little more break-fix throughout the day.

We went to Taco Bell super late and had a pretty light meal. Muad’Dib did great, but otherwise slept for nearly the whole day. We even left pretty late because I took an unrelated call after having a potential cyber threat scare. Everything should be okay though.

Dad had been over to the old house to mess with the Grom, so I stopped by to see what I could find. It wasn’t a new lithium battery like I thought, but I did find a pigtail to attach for easier charging. Summer was in the shower when we got home, so I cleaned up and decompressed for a while. I had a quick anxiety attack before I got up to take Muad’Dib out for a late run.

We made pretty decent time, and I inadvertently let Muad’Dib jump into the creek, so I knew he’d need a bath. We visited my parents and then made it back to the house for a really good bath. I was proud of how he behaved, and then he stood with me in the kitchen as I ate some leftovers. I got a bit frustrated that we had so much food left and nobody but me seemed to be touching it.

Summer had been in bed since I left the house, but at least she was awake for a while. I did a little more cleaning up and tried to get to bed on time.

Take the shot!

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Best Mex

We narrowly grabbed some Taco John’s on the way out of town today. The app seemed confused about whether the restaurant was open and accepting orders, and based on prior experience, it seemed like the staff might be confused too. We ended up being able to order there, and hit the road in a decent amount of time.

I continued with my Intune and Autopilot learning all day, only stopping to meet Summer for lunch. We had the best food we’ve ever gotten from Ortega’s, and our server knew us well enough that he basically had our orders. It was an excellent visit.

Summer took Muad’Dib home with her since she didn’t plan to go in to the stores today. I finished up my afternoon and made it home to find her in bed wrapping up her work. Eaddie got home from her trip to the northwest to have Eli’s horn serviced, and brought me some Hawaiian Bros. Summer started eating it, so I had a few bites before we put it away.

I eventually took Muad’Dib out for a little walk before it got dark. We stopped briefly to see my parents, but I was feeling exhausted. I ended up having an anxiety attack just as we were finishing up, just a couple houses up the road. I didn’t feel great after that, but I was still really tired, and it cooled off quite a bit as well.

I cleaned up minimally and laid down with Summer for a little while. Julie called to discuss a possible family vacation, and then I wrapped up for bed.

I’m ready for my air coccoon.

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The Difference is Staggering!

We had our staff meeting first thing this morning, and I didn’t have a whole lot of exciting news. The whole day kind of dragged on a bit, possibly because it seemed like it was going to be such a nice day out. We went to Taco Bell for lunch and had an okay time, but I think the salt got to me later in the afternoon.

I let Muad’Dib out for a run on the way back to the office, and we finished out the day quietly upstairs. I had another quick anxiety attack that snuck up on me. Summer wanted to go to the yoga Sip + Stretch at Point Remove shortly after I got home, but I felt my blood pressure was high and had to relax a moment at home first.

Summer went to her thing for an hour, and Muad’Dib and I walked all the way downtown to meet her. It worked out perfectly, because we arrived just minutes before she finished her hour, and we didn’t have to sit around entertaining ourselves the whole time. We had some wings and a few drinks, then drove back home for the night. She passed right out, and I finished up my stuff fairly early. I would have gone to bed early too, but Eaddie got home early and came to my office and chat for a while. She’s got spring break coming up, and is excited for all the new, fun stuff that comes with independence.

It’s a five minute walk from my house to the bar, but an hour walk from the bar to my house.

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Walk and Roll

I didn’t sleep great last night, but I think it was mostly the dog’s fault. We made it to work, but I had trouble focusing as well as I have the past few days, so I switched gears and looked at some other company portal stuff. Between that and a couple phone calls, I managed to stay fairly busy. I was put in Vine jail for my lack of reviews, so that’s finally caught up with me. Between that and taxes, I’ve got my work cut out for me.

I went back and forth several times with Clifford from Future Motion, and they insist it’s completely my fault for my footing that is causing the motor to cut out on my board. I feel like I’ve tested every possibility of that, but it doesn’t sound like they’re going to do anything else for me, and at this point the board has been out of my possession for over 100 days since I bought the damn thing.

I brought my pastrami sandwich from Ridgewood for lunch, along with a little bowl of some Hawaiian Bros since the sandwich looked pretty small. The sandwich was great, but I could have done with some more of it. Afterward, I walked Muad’Dib outside and found a roll of material out next to the dumpster, and had the idea to take a closeup photo of it for a background image to use in the company portal.

Muad’Dib got rowdy and wouldn’t listen when we came back in, so he got a spanking. Then the afternoon dragged on for a bit since we never actually left. I had just been thinking about how I hadn’t had an anxiety attack in a little while, and then one snuck up on me out of nowhere. That put me in a little bit of a daze for a while. I ended up losing track of time by a lot, so we left late and got home nearly half an hour later than usual.

Summer was home and just out of the shower, so we walked to my parents’ house for spring rolls. Julie and kevin showed up just after us, and we all sat down to eat. The kids were invited, but couldn’t make it. It started to get a little darker by the time we left, so we walked straight home and got ready for bed.

Believe it or not, straight to jail.

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More Less Better

I woke up to some weird, strange, scary dream last night, but I couldn’t remember anything about it. I didn’t think I’d be able to go back to sleep, but luckily that didn’t last long. I still had a bit of a rough start, and though I got up early for a free birthday drink from Starbucks, I didn’t end up going because they must have been out of milk somehow.

We got to work and I did a pretty good job of focusing on my Autopilot task. It’s finally starting to get kind of fun to tinker with that stuff, though there’s still plenty I don’t understand. It still wasn’t rainy during lunch time, but I really wanted to try the new BIG ARCH burger at McDonald’s, so Muad’Dib just had to wait in the car.

I didn’t realize how big it was, so I also got a small Happy Meal for some McNuggets and a Changeables toy in order to bump the total up enough to qualify for a discount. I ate that first, so when I actually opened the burger and realized how big it was, I knew I was in trouble. I was actually really pleased with the burger though. It was tasty enough to drown out the noise of the obnoxiously loud group of teens that were at my usual bench seats. There must have been a bus of them somewhere, because I later saw several groups of them convene across the street at Taco Bell.

I let Muad’Dib run some more coming back to work, and a little later in the afternoon Janice had cake for me. She made me a lemon poke cake, and it was super good. It felt really nice to be in a work family that did stuff like that again, though there’s no telling whether that will continue to be a thing when she retires. Hopefully we can continue in some fashion.

I had an anxiety attack sometime in the afternoon, but I don’t remember if it was before or after cake. I felt progressively worse all afternoon like I had gas in my chest that just kept coming out as burps. I did my best to relax because my heart was racing as well. I lived to see the end of the day, and picked up my Starbucks on the way home to save for later, then found Summer in a bath.

She was really hungry, so we decided to take Muad’Dib to Point Remove for some boneless wings and a couple beers. As soon as we got there, a lady recognized Muad’Dib and asked if he was the dog that kept getting out in our neighborhood. She remembered me working at Two Rivers, and I think I remembered encountering them on a run or something. It really feels like I’m living with a celebrity sometimes.

I only finished Summer’s first stout because she wanted to try one of the wines, and then I only had a couple of the wings just to take it easy. I felt a little better by the time we left, and we swung through Tropical Smoothie for a free smoothie to save for the morning. Then Summer went straight to sleep when we got to the house. I kind of wanted to go for a walk, but also wanted to get to bed early. I started to feel a lot worse for a bit, but checked my blood pressure and took a clonidine since I was right at the cusp of being that high. I felt better as I continued to burp, and wondered if it was mostly due to the poor nutritional value of the food I’ve been eating. I think it’s time to go regular on the Soylents again.

I’ve never been this many before.

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Talko Boosday

I felt pretty terrible this morning, but we managed to get to work before eight. It was a super slow recovery until lunch time at Ortega’s. I think I had an anxiety attack somewhere along the line. Later in the afternoon, one of the guys called for help with HubSpot, and of course I knew nothing. At least tech support couldn’t help either.

We left a little early to get to therapy, though we’ve been starting late enough that I think I can leave at my regular time and still make it. Summer was busy until just after five, and even then we had to wait for Dwayne to come let us in.

We ended up sitting outside with Muad’Dib and his little dog, Lucy. They played more than we talked, and I was a little surprised at Summer’s recollection of the weekend. I haven’t been very happy with our sessions so far, so I don’t know how much longer I’ll be interested in going.

Summer had a meeting, so I went to the house and cleaned up a little. Eaddie was in the shower when I got there, but left shortly thereafter. Summer eventually came home and seemed continually troubled, but didn’t know why. She went to bed pretty quickly, and I followed soon after.

Uninteresting