Tag: anxiety

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Floored

Summer left this morning, giving me the day to take care of my own things at home. The afternoon just raced by, but I got some stuff moved around in one of the bedrooms. If I can get enough stuff cleared out, we can bring one of Eaddie’s twin beds down here so the girls can each stay in a bed of their own and not have to share. I found a few things I’d been wanting to track down, as well as a bunch of old gaming console accessories.

I went to my parents’ house for just a few minutes and had some dinner with Dad, then came back home to continue what little work I had done for the day. I sought out some advice about my employment contract, but didn’t get much out of it. I don’t guess I really expected much – at least not directly.

The evening flew by just as quickly as the rest of the day, and I did my best to get into bed early for what is surely to be another trying week at work.

The hunt is on.

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Sandy Lines

Four of us immediately went to the junior high today to try and clean up the work orders that had been piling up due to the lack of a tech there. It was overall pretty quiet, and mostly a cluster of us all bumbling over each other, but we put a dent in them. Lunch time came around really quickly, and seven of us all met up at Mulan’s for lunch. Summer wanted to get lunch, but I was at the mercy of whoever would drive me, and she didn’t want anything that heavy.

We finished up at the junior high in the afternoon, and then came back to the shop to work on Central Office tickets that had piled up on Gary in the time he’s been pulled away to other things. It wouldn’t be this bad if we hadn’t restructured the department in the middle of already being super shorthanded. We just don’t have the people.

Shortly after I got settled into my office, I received an email from Rebecca stating very matter-of-factly that they had a new contract for me to sign, and that I would need to pay the district $558 due to a mistake that they had made. I knew how I wanted to reply, but Gary thought talking to Thomas first would be a good idea. I knew this was coming, but it didn’t get real until that moment, and I got pretty upset. He gave me what advice he could, and asked me not to take any action until he had a chance to go to Central Office on my behalf.

I spent the rest of the day writing a sort of memo of conversation to attach to the email I was forwarding to him, and thanking him for what he’s done in his short time here. I think I’ve been leading up to this for a long time. I just never could have imagined the district would initiate this conversation, especially in such a way that may possibly be more in my favor than not. All I know is that I’ve really enjoyed how my job has changed within the past six months, and that the work I’ve done in that time has been more valuable than ever.

I went home for the evening, and Summer brought Eaddie over once they cleaned up at home. Summer and I watched several episodes of Modern Family before she went to sleep. Then Eaddie came out and watched the last 20 minutes or so of a movie trailer compilation with me. I dawdled a bit more on YouTube before coming to bed, mostly feeling dread for what the future holds.

Audentes Fortuna Juvat

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Overtaken by My Own Shadow

It was a quiet, brainy day at work today. I made some progress, but it was slower than I would have liked. I didn’t get distracted much, but I did get frustrated a couple times with others pulling my attention, which I’m sure is why Gary is so grumpy most of the time.

Brody wanted to go to Fat Daddy’s in London, but they were evidently closed due to staffing issues. The same went for Zaxby’s. Slim Chickens was a solid win today with the salad I got, and then we dropped off some strips for Summer, who was stuck in the pit all day.

I left near quitting time today and went by the shop to order some new tires for the Murano before going up to Summer’s to heat up her lasagna. I made it about halfway to her house before I realized I didn’t have keys to get in because I was on the Shadow, so I ran back home to change and get the keys.

As I came back outside, I hopped on the bike and started to pull away, only barely remembering to get the keys. I stood up to get off and immediately lost all balance due to the low, heavy nature of the bike. I had forgotten that I already lifted the kickstand, so the bike tumbled over on top of me and threw me to the ground. I avoided any major damage, but the handlebar controls and mirrors got a bit out of whack. The handlebars themselves were still bent from before I got the bike, so the only new “damage” was to the rear, left turn signal that now rattles from something being broken off inside it.

I finally made it up to Summer’s with bruised palms, and heated up the lasagna and baked some garlic bread. She and Autumn both made it home from work and we ate. Then Summer had to tend to some work business as we waited for the scattered showers to wane enough for me to make it back home for the evening.

I tried to pick up a little, and ended up on a trip down Memory Lane when I found a bunch of folders from my time at NEW. Then I went to bed as hastily as I could, since someone decided that working at 6am tomorrow will be fun when moving some old laptops around at the junior high. At least by then it will have reached the day’s low of 74º.

More like PowerHell.

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Smörgåsbord

I let Summer sleep in until about noon today before we got around to my parents’ house. Dad had already started two grills for the heaps of food we’d be grilling. There were steaks, burgers, chicken wings, shrimp, corn on the cob, zucchini and squash that all made it across the coals. Bác Vân and Doug pulled up just as we left to pick up a couple fill-in items from the Neighborhood Market.

I kept Julie up to date with a play-by-play as we were cooking, since she was just a couple neighborhoods away. Then she showed up as everyone was finally eating. We were all set up to eat outside, but by the time we finished grilling in the sun, we were all too hot to enjoy the reasonable weather.

We stayed and listened to Julie’s mad karaoke skills for a while. Then as we started to leave I had a small anxiety attack that threw me into a severe headache for several hours. When we got back to my house, Summer went home and I dozed for just a little bit in bed. I eventually made it up to her house for the evening, but never fully kicked the headache, so it was an early night to bed for us.

BOOM–TISSSSSS

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Dismount

I made it in relatively early this morning and wound up on a crew at the middle school to help remove a bunch of old displays for painting the walls behind them. I kept feeling like I had other things to be doing, but I suppose I wasn’t much of a team player last year while I was getting things ready at the high school. I had an inkling of anxiety following me around all day, and ended up panting in the hallway at one point because I just wouldn’t snap out of it. Things got pretty fuzzy for a bit, but once it was over, it was over.

Nearly everyone made it to lunch at Las Palmas, which was good. That definitely made me feel better. Then after lunch I stuck around the office. I think everyone is just working off of the assumption that Thomas will be coming back to reclaim his old position from Ben, which doesn’t make me super happy. What will be, will be.

After work, I went by the shop to see Summer for a bit before going home. Then I picked up some Popeye’s on the way up to her place, not knowing the kids wouldn’t be hungry. We ate and chatted, and then watched some House with Eaddie. When Summer was ready to go to bed, we put on Bo Burnham’s new Netflix special, Inside. We didn’t care for it, but like Summer and her marathons, I felt compelled to finish it.

Boat life would be so much simpler.

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Why so Serious?

I got up extra early this morning so I could make it to my interview with plenty of time to spare. I got the last couple pages I needed from my office, then went across the street to sit and wait by the door until everyone else was ready. The interim superintendent wasn’t there, but it was a panel with Jeff, Justin, Judy, and then Ben for emotional support I guess. He didn’t really ask anything, but he did help elaborate on some things as I answered their questions. For the most part, they stuck to a list of questions Ben wrote for them, which they wouldn’t even know enough about in order to rate my answers.

I wasn’t terribly nervous, but I did decide to go all out with a jacket and tie, and started out by dropping my pirate flag on the desk in front of me. The others were spaced out around the U-shaped conference tables. Justin immediately wanted to hear about why I love cows. From there it was mostly business until my only concluding question for them was whether they would like to see a magic trick. I received an immediate and resounding, “yes,” so I proceeded to unlink two rubber bands to at least one incredulous gasp.

With that out of the way, I went back to the shop and watched as Gary, and then Zach left for their interviews. I felt pretty confident in my own answers until I heard their shared responses. I knew it was a moonshot anyway though, and assumed I would have to rely on Doge to make it to the moon for me instead.

The three of us went to Sam’s for lunch with Josh and his wife. Then I tried to leave my leftovers for Summer, but she wasn’t at the shop at that time. We continued back to work for a slow afternoon while the newbies went to work on projects elsewhere.

Thomas came by to chat with Gary and Zach, and from the sound of things, they’re working to come up with an agreeable number that would bring him back to the district. Time will tell, but hopefully not too much time.

After work, I went by the shop to see Summer for a bit until it was nearly time for her to leave. Then I went home to change and made it up to her house for the evening. She grilled chicken for salads, and then it was an early night to bed after a long day of tickling anxiety for me. I don’t know why I had so much trouble with that today, all well after my interview was over. Breathing exercises haven’t been working to alleviate them, so I guess it’s off to try something else.

Let’s put a smile on that face!

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Why Did the Chicken Cross the Terminal?

I woke up at 3:30 this morning so I could have plenty of time to shower and pack up. We made it to the airport in plenty of time, but things got hectic super quickly. After checking our bag, I forgot to get my ID back, and made it all the way to TSA before panicking, completely forgetting that I had just had it out minutes earlier. Fortunately the girl that helped us brought my ID back, but then Summer had a couple oversized bottles of liquids. It would have been different if we hadn’t just flown to Florida earlier this year.

We made it to Houston without any trouble, but did have to huff it a bit to the next flight. If we had known better at the time, we would have chilled out for a while and maybe gotten some food. As we made our way out to the runway, a lightning storm blew in and kept us on the ground for about an hour and a half later than we planned. The pilot made up for it though, and we just barely made our connecting flight in Los Angeles.

That last transition really hurt us, because then we didn’t get any food, the snacks on the flights weren’t very substantial, and we also couldn’t precheck for the COVID requirements. When we finally made it down to Honolulu, we had to wait in an awful line for about half an hour just to get out of the gate.

Julie did great and arranged a taxi for us, so I made the call and made our way out to meet the guy that came out. He took us to Lagoon Tower, where Julie met us at the taxi. We got room keys and made our way up to the penthouse to unload.

Summer and I were starving, and it was dinner time for the others as well, so we went downstairs and out into a tiny, cramped marketplace to find some food. I felt super sweaty due to the heat and humidity after such a grueling flight, which just made me even hangrier. We stopped into an ABC store for a couple things and eventually got our food that had been ready for a while. Evidently the buzzer didn’t work.

We took everything back to the room to eat, and then I took a real shower and crashed.

Because his connecting flight was delayed and he had to be re-routed by the airline!

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Baggage

I didn’t want to sleep in too late today, so I rolled out of bed once I woke up. I had a COVID test at Walgreens at 1, so I went home to clean up first. The test was a super simple and painless nasal swab, and not even too far up the nose. As soon as I was done there, I had to run to Mark’s to help out a bit. What he needed from me took seconds, and we ended up chatting about school stuff for a while after that.

When I left, there was nobody in the Ridgewood Brothers’ parking lot, so I crossed the street to see how things were going. Grant almost immediately offered me a sandwich, which I couldn’t turn down. I took it back up to Summer’s with me since he didn’t have time to chat, and on the way there I called Josue to see how he was doing.

Summer got back with Autumn from their car show fund raiser shortly after I got in, and then Summer and I went to do some shopping before packing. We went to Leonard’s first to spend a $5 coupon I had. Then we went to TJ Maxx for some cheapish rubbah slippahs. Summer got a neck pillow as well, and I’m not sure any of it was a bargain.

The packing took forever due to my travel anxiety, but I’m pretty sure I got everything. Fortunately we’ll have another day nearby in case something goes horribly wrong.

When we finally got back up to the girls, Autumn was in bed. I warmed up some leftovers for us, and then filled out some travel forms with my negative COVID test. Eaddie and I finished up the night with some House, and then went to bed ourselves.

Forget it, just grab all the sinks.

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Cubby Buddies

I went to the high school first thing this morning and kept Mike company. Most of that time was spent trying to figure out why a VLOOKUP function wasn’t working, but I finally discovered the cells I was searching needed to be formatted as string values instead of numbers. Mike already had four and a half cubbies full of student devices that had been returned, so I helped him dig through them for a device Kayla was trying to find. Turns out, the mother had misunderstood her child, who would be returning the laptop later in the day.

Lunch time came up pretty quickly, and Bryan couldn’t go after shattering his ankle over the weekend. Brody was the only one that would communicate about lunch plans, so he and I decided to try Peg Leg. Upon arriving at a closed restaurant, we made the trip back across town to Popeye’s and learned that Google Maps is not updating with dine-in status. We ran through the drive-through, and then I thought he was going to come back to the shop to eat, but I ended up eating alone. In the middle of that, I started having a panic spell that took me a while to shake off.

I spent the rest of the afternoon in my office trying to be as helpful as possible. It was a pretty quiet day, which may actually be a bad thing, because evidently we are now having to prove our need for a secretary in the department. I stayed a little late chatting with Ben since he had been gone all last week, and then left to get the girls.

Eaddie was waiting at Oakland, and Autumn had just finished with band. I dropped them off at home before going home myself. Summer’s surgery has me off work tomorrow, so I went home for a while and then came back up for the evening. I stopped at Wendy’s for a quick dinner so I wouldn’t be eating in front of Summer. When I got up to the house, the girls were already all in bed though, so it was a quiet and relatively dull evening for me.

You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table.

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Dogegonit

It was nice again today, so I took the Shadow to work. Things started eerily quiet and it never really got any better. I just felt uneasy everywhere I went. I stayed to myself in my office for the most part, but kept having to do things for the newbies instead of getting any of my own projects done.

I met Brody at the junior high for teacher appreciation burgers, then mingled around there for a while afterward to help with a few other things. When I got back to my office, things were still really quiet. It didn’t help that so many people are missing.

After work, I went home to get the car so I could get the girls, only to realize that Summer had already gotten them. I think she told me, but I’ve just had so much going on that I can’t keep up any more. I’m really starting to break down.

I came back home for a little bit, but then had to go to the shop to get an old projector for Summer to use tomorrow. Then I continued on to my parents’ house to help clean up some phở. After I ate, I came back home and had to clean up a different projector because Summer didn’t have anything with VGA. Then I had to mess with my computers some in order to get to my resume.

With my resume officially done, I’m just waiting for one more letter, and then I’ll send it all off. I should probably also email my intent just in case they do something sneaky with the listing online. That seems my luck.

Watch what I do, and then do the complete opposite.