Tag: anxiety

Uncategorised

Thanks for Nothing

Kim was out today, so I came in to an eerily quiet office this morning. Denice was there in the morning, but then left for the entire afternoon. I was relatively productive because of it, but I still felt the sting of burnout after never hearing anything back from Harry about a meeting. He at least opened my talking points document, but I have a feeling I’ll be more productive with the paper plant.

On the way home, Summer called and asked me to pick up Eaddie from the high school. Then we went straight home so she could clean up and go back for her appreciation concert. Summer and I ate some leftovers and then went to the arts center for the show.

The music was good, but I could see why Eaddie has burned out on Katahj Copley. It was too easy for us to spot just based on the descriptions of the music alone. Things didn’t get really bad until they invited the seniors from the concert band back on stage for The Stars and Stripes Forever. Things immediately fell apart for that song, but Summer wanted me to record it so she could just be in the moment.

Eaddie went out for dinner with her father, so Summer and I went home and started researching Disney restaurants, because why plan early? I finally figured that I could just look at the map and pick out a couple names of restaurants that I remembered hearing about ever in my life. For better or worse, I plotted a few to try and reserve in the morning.

Seat’s taken.

Uncategorised

Breaker Fixer

I thought about stopping for donuts this morning, but they were too busy, so I stopped for a chicken biscuit instead. I found a whole bunch of new sore muscles in my neck, abdomen, groin, leg, and sides. We still didn’t get too busy doing anything at work. Kim was in and out of the office for most of the day, having left a couple times to run errands. Senior laptop pickup was still mostly a success, but there are a lot left to go.

At the end of the day, Eric needed help raising the projector screen in the auditorium. Kim and I went in there and tried to chase down the problem, but the screen just wouldn’t budge in spite of the relays clicking in the rack. Even Harry came down to lend a hand and poke around, but in the end, it was he who overlooked the auditorium breaker in the closet outside. Todd and Steven ended up coming back, and I think Steven is the one who found it and got it going.

I got home super late, fed the fish, and then ate some super old leftover cabbage and mashed potatoes for dinner. Then I sat on the couch with Summer until she left for bed. I stalled the rest of the night, still too sore to move from my seat. Eventually I had to move out of exhaustion.

Snorlax used Hyper Beam!

Uncategorised

Stresscation

Eaddie wanted to drive today, so my fingers nearly froze off on the ride to work this morning. I picked up a McGriddle on the way, but had to microwave it when I got there. It was a PD day, and they had a visitor who needed to use the auditorium, so I was waiting for him in there because he was half an hour late. Then my big project was fixing printing for everyone. CentraQ was eating the print jobs and I couldn’t figure out why. I finally found logs, but it was so poorly documented that I had to call Wight Office Machines and get Thomas to remote in and help. He didn’t really have anything more than the setup guide, but he knew which check boxes to select and got it going again.

It was hard to get very motivated after that. They had a crane replacing air units on the roof, so there was lots of noise from up there. Kim ended up being out all day, and I only saw Denice a couple of times. I had some ramen for lunch, but there really wasn’t anything else going on.

I made good time on the roads both ways, and went to the old house to feed the fish after work. Summer had been home early, and had spaghetti on the stove when I got there. Julie came over to help plan and book a Disney vacation, and if I had realized we were basically just booking everything on the site without any extra needs, Summer and I could have dedicated a day over the weekend to get it done. I just kept feeling stress and anxiety even thinking about it, and the total cost will probably be close to double what I really wanted to spend.

Eaddie and I ate, and then she had Eli come over to eat and hang out a while. I left on the Onewheel to get some oranges, and then rode the long way around the basin to see my parents before making it back home. The whole Sign Hub family was out walking and Onewheeling the neighborhood, so I went back out to talk to them for a minute before finally going back inside.

I continued to feel fairly stressed all evening, so I made sure to get to bed early.

I’d rather talk to my sister than plan a vacation.

Uncategorised

Commutercycle

I didn’t think I was running behind this morning, but I got to work about five minutes late after stopping at McDonald’s along the way. Kim had texted that she would be out sick, but I didn’t expect every single administrator to be in the back office meeting. I spent the entire day tinkering with my task sequence as I imaged more computers. I almost skipped lunch, but got hungry and grabbed some pizza a little late.

There was a threat of rain in the afternoon, but I never saw a drop. The roads were a bit gritty, and I kept getting stuck behind jerks that would kick all of that crap up into the air. I headed straight home for fear of getting caught in something if I went to feed the fish first.

Summer made burgers, which I re-pattied and grilled. Eli made it here before Eaddie did, and they made music in the bathroom after we ate. Weird, right? I cleaned up the grill afterward, and then the rest of the night went by really quickly as I struggled with the anxiety of feeling like I was forgetting to do something.

Full self driving would have been perfect for this.

Uncategorised

Just Take a Lunch Break

Eaddie got up this morning to go hiking with some friends. Summer and I got around a little slower than that, and made our way to her bank to figure out if there was any damage done by the scammer. We ended up leaving her account in a limited state, and we’ll just have to watch it for a week or so. Afterwards she started complaining of hunger, but she also didn’t split the leftover pizza with me like I offered back at home, so I took her to Walmart instead.

I returned the garbage disposal cover we bought because it was too large, and then I kind of dawdled across the entire store with her to see if I could work up an appetite. We left with just a couple things and went to the old house to load up anything we could fit into her car.

Just after I fed the fish and started to get things moving, Dad called with a weak voice and wanted me to come help after he had apparently passed out from doing some yard work. I told him to call 911, and we raced across town as quickly as we could through traffic. We beat the ambulance by a mile, and by then he was laying in the living room floor with his feet propped up on the couch.

Summer went out back to put out the fire Dad had been tending, and the paramedics leisurely arrived without any observable urgency. There were three of them, and Summer recognized one of them as a former student. Dad stubbornly crawled toward the stretcher they had in the doorway, and they carted him off as Terry walked over from next door.

We had enough time to run home for a garage door opener and still got to the hospital before they had him in the system. Julie showed up shortly after we did, and then Mom arrived shortly after that. Once they had him in the system, Mom and Julie went back to see him. Then Julie came out and traded spots with me for a moment. Tesla called while I was back there, and didn’t seem to understand my inability to formally request leave to return my car, but tentatively set up an appointment to return Tres on the Tuesday after break. Then Summer and I left to get Eaddie and go out for dinner.

We went up to La Huerta, and Summer and I split some fajitas after some confusion. I don’t know if they just stopped doing the Especial La Huerta for two, but we seem to have that problem every time we order that now. I guess we should review the menu. Otherwise the food was okay, and then I took the girls home before taking the Onewheel over to my parents’ house to check on things.

While I was there, Julie called and asked me to pick up some clothes for Dad to wear out of the hospital. Dad was alert enough to let me in remotely, and I rode home to get my car to go to the hospital. Julie left to get some sleep before work, and then Mom left after a little while, and then I took Dad home.

The girls were in bed by the time I made it home, and somehow I lost a couple hours somewhere along the line. I really thought I’d make it to bed before midnight, but it just didn’t happen.

Flush

Uncategorised

Level Up

I made myself get out of bed early today, but Summer was the one that wanted to make breakfast. She eventually got up, but then had a long phone call with Noah before she started cooking. We ended up having eggs and corned beef hash for lunch. Afterward she went to the gym while Eaddie played flute. I got distracted by phone puzzles.

When Summer got home, she wanted to rearrange a bunch of the stuff that I had moved in, but we didn’t really accomplish putting anything away where it needed to go. I wasn’t really thrilled by any of the “cleaning” that happened, but I didn’t do any of it myself either.

Later in the evening, Summer decided she wanted to try the Onewheel, so we went outside after it had stopped raining and I walked back and forth down the street with her. She did pretty well, but relied on leaning on me too much. Once she started to stand up on her own, she was able to turn around a couple times. It got chilly pretty quick though after all the rain, and we came back inside.

The girls wanted me to handle dinner, but didn’t want to give any feedback on what to make. I ate some food in the afternoon because I got hungry, so I wasn’t famished by dinner time. I ended up going to Zaxby’s and Burger King to redeem a couple of deals, and we all shared that before bed.

Lost a another weekend.

Uncategorised

That Last 92%

I kept getting behind slow people to and from work today, but the weather was nice and the clean acceleration for passing was nicer. Kim walked in right behind me, but spent a good portion of the day out of the office somewhere else around on campus, as far as I knew. I spent most of my day behind emails, trying to wrap up Jaime’s nonsense. It became more and more evident that nobody there really knew how the grants were supposed to work, and it really seems like the district is just sort of winging it.

In the middle of Kim’s lunch duty, she stuck her head in the door with a couple disposable trays of food and said she didn’t want any of it. Evidently they made extras for kids, but nobody wanted them and they were just going to throw them away. That meant early, free lunch for me. I didn’t get my usual salad, and the food was cold and dried out, but it tasted alright.

The afternoon was fairly quiet, again with Kim out of the office for a large portion of the day. Most everyone was gone by the time I left, and I raced home to load a few more things into the car. Doug caught me outside and talked to me for a little bit, and then I made it home to start some turkey soup.

As soon as everything was in the Instant Pot, I headed out on the Onewheel. I felt fairly confident on it today, and went up and around the hill to swing by my parents’ house. When I got back home, I drove to the Neighborhood Market for some noodles. Just next to the egg noodles, I saw a package of gnocchi that looked pretty good, so I decided to throw them in the pot too.

I was a little worried, but the broth actually came out really good. It was probably the best turkey soup I’ve ever made. I was worried about not having enough meat in it, but it was fine. The gnocchi was really good too. Even Eaddie liked it, even though it wasn’t a full multi-course meal.

How am I the expert here?

Uncategorised

Freeze In

School was out again in case of freezing rain, but I think the temperature rose enough to continue melting what ice had accumulated. I got up and tried to make French omelets, but had some trouble remembering when to stop messing with the egg. Eaddie didn’t want an omelet anyway, so I scrambled hers first, then did the same for Summer. By the time I got mine made, I could at least roll it into an ugly egg tube. I’ll remember better for next time.

Summer worked all day, and Eaddie spent most of the day in her bedroom. I cleaned up a bit and then had a bath in the afternoon. The Tesla service center didn’t seem interested in talking much about the lemon law after having my car for so long, so I wrote an email to the attorney general’s office to see if I would even have a case. Noah came back over after work, and Eaddie took him to Brick Oven. I did more dishes, and wound down pretty early so I could make it back to work in the rain the next morning.

Bubble, bubble, grumble tumble

Uncategorised

What’s New, Tom Jones?

Eaddie wanted to cat-sit for a friend, and the best this mean, old man could compromise was to let her keep it in the shed out back. Eli came over, and they went to get it. Summer was finally ready to go do a little shopping today, but that ended up being a bit of chaos. I should have known better than to brave the stores two days before Christmas.

We skipped Harbor Freight because I didn’t have a coupon. We went to Lowe’s to try and find a tree skirt, but they had precious little left. We wandered some more of the store, but didn’t get much. Next was TJ Maxx, which was an absolute zoo. The parking lot was completely full, and the checkout line wrapped toward around and about halfway toward the back of the store. Walmart wasn’t much better, but we made it out with a couple hundred bucks worth of groceries for the week. It took us much longer to get out than in. On the way home, we stopped by the old house to pick up a few more things, including a radiator to warm up the outhouse.

The kids were in and out of the house to tend to the cat while Summer made dinner. She kept telling me the ham wouldn’t take long to heat, but in the end we had cold, slimy ham and lumpy instant potatoes with some of her usual Brussels sprouts. I was able to save the potatoes, but only after everyone else had their food. I’ll have to warm the ham up better the next time we eat it.

Afterward we went out to try and coax the cat out of the corner. Eaddie made a pallet to sleep on, but gave up and came inside. She was upset with me for most of the night because I wouldn’t let her bring the cat inside, so next time there won’t be a compromise.

Always the bad guy.

Uncategorised

Highly Illogical

Johnny called me for some help this morning on my drive to work. Apparently they have just been blacklisting Chrome extensions instead of whitelisting, so students have been getting around all of their policies. Easy enough of a fix. Denice had people meeting in her office all day, so I had my earbuds in early. Then after lunch, Kim and I went to the elementary to close out a few work orders. It’s frustrating that she’s clearly not going through them and closing them out. She seems to just come to work to socialize, and I’m just not paid enough to supervise her.

I wrapped up the day and headed home to charge for a while. Summer cooked dinner, but I showed up just as she finished eating. Then I sat on the porch for most of the evening until I came in to do my chores before bed.

Dys