Tag: anxiety

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Out of Tune

I had a slow start and got to work a little later today. Muad’Dib seemed to be having a little trouble himself, and kept licking himself as smells happened. He eventually perked up, and didn’t appear to make a mess anywhere, but I was a little concerned. I tried to dig through some more 365 documentation, but I just kind of hate it so far. I had an anxiety attack at some point, but rolled on as usual.

Summer was supposed to come have lunch with me, but she ran a couple hours late without saying a word about it. I finally texted to find out what was going on, and she said she wasn’t going to make it. Then I suggested I could pick up pizza so she could just stop in to eat at the office, and she was in for that.

Pizza Hut had a strange drive-through orientation, but it worked surprisingly well. I got in and out of there, and then stopped by Casey’s for a deal on some wings since I was still waiting on Summer anyway. I let Muad’Dib out to walk around for a bit in the heat, and then tried to leave him outside while I ran in to get the food. It took almost no time for him to take off and find a family at one of the gas pumps. Luckily he didn’t get far, and he ran right back to me. I put him in the car after that, since the wings weren’t anywhere near done.

Summer just barely beat me to the office, and I was reminded that they had ice cream and Italian ice as a gesture of employee appreciation. Most everyone was in the break room and introduced themselves to her in a flurry. Muad’Dib was getting nosey, so we went upstairs to eat. I walked Summer back to her car and then had some Italian ice myself with Rhonda in the breakroom. I don’t know why, but I got chattier than I usually do. I guess I’ve just spent more time talking to her than most anyone else at the office so far.

The afternoon was tough because I was exhausted from going to bed so late after last night’s panic. We made it to the end and headed home. Dad had met Brandon from Dream Builders Construction to get a quote, and he came back almost immediately with a total of $5,100 that didn’t appear to include a tax calculation. It also looked like he was less thorough than R&R, who Dad had called. They finally came back with a quote after a week that also considered blowing new insulation for a total of $6,936.47. For a thousand more, it sounded like R&R may be better equipped to do the whole job, but I don’t know.

The evening was pretty quiet. Summer took a bath for a while, Eaddie left for Eli’s, and I shut in to do some long-overdue Vine reviews. Once the sun was nearly down, I took Muad’Dib for a quick run, and then raced to bed.

EXTI

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Wooden Do It

Summer had to work this morning, so I got up and took Muad’Dib for a run while it was still a little cooler outside. Dad and I moved a couple big logs over to their driveway from nextdoor so I could get some firewood before the tree service hauled it all off. Summer had plans to take Eaddie to the Clarksville water park in the afternoon, but it felt really clammy and gross out, and I just didn’t want to go. Eaddie got up and mowed the lawn, so I was in and out some to get her started, and then was trying to organize some of the chaos inside since the ceiling collapse.

Eaddie and I cleaned up some charcuterie stuff in the fridge, and I had an anxiety attack in the pantry. I eventually took a shower and made it back over to my parents’ house where Dad had sawed up a bunch of manageable logs that we could load into the Pathfinder. I brought them a little solar-powered pool skimming robot that we watched mostly fail, and then I ate bún bò Huế with them before getting the wood back to the house just as the girls got there. They helped me unload into the front yard, and then took a bit of a break. Dad came over with a little more wood and a plastic sheet for the hole in the ceiling. Unfortunately the staples ripped right through, and I didn’t want to fight it, so he took that back home.

Summer and I eventually made it over to their house to swim after sundown. My parents were out watering the garden, and Muad’Dib got the zoomies and ran circles around the yard. Summer got cold pretty quickly, so we headed back to the house for the evening.

I had originally planned to go to Little Rock to see Mitch in the evening, but time got away from me and we just had too much stuff going on. We decided to reschedule for later next week.

rattle ’round

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The Power to Automate

I felt less bad this morning. It was my day to try and complete some tasks, so I dug into block coding with Power Automate, sent off my fixed asset checklist, and at the end of the day, played with the Vuzix smartglasses that were given to me. I took a break in the middle of all that to get a Big Mac – my cheapest local meal that isn’t a dollar frozen burrito from the Walmart. The fries were really sad, so I stopped at Sonic on the way back for a dollar corndog.

I had an anxiety attack just as I was driving away from the office, so I let the car do its thing. Eaddie wanted to take Eli and Ceci to my parents’ house to swim, but Dad wanted me there as an adult to watch over them, so I changed clothes when I got to the house and rode Muad’Dib over on the Onewheel to meet them. Mom was actually home early too. I sat outside with the kids and dripped sweat after a while.

Mom said they still had fish soup, so I brought that in to heat up just as Eaddie said she was going to their house for dinner. Mom went out to water plants, so I ate alone and then finished my walk with the dog. He was pretty sluggish and we cut about a mile off our route.

It was recycle and trash duty when we got back. The kids stayed out late, and I tried to sleep early.

what if then else

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This Feels Redundant

I had an anxiety attack at some point this morning that hit me pretty quickly, but I shook it off. My two big tasks for the day were to call Brandon and get access to the password manager he set up, and then reinstall the second firewall after hours.

I went to McDonald’s for a late lunch, and then had an episode of rapid heartrate and feeling a bit like I was going to pass out near the end of the day. Maybe I psyched myself out about making network changes without the benefit of cellular service in case something went wrong. I just breathed through it until I didn’t feel dizzy.

Bret from Ashton called right on time, and it was a pretty quick and easy job to get the firewall in place. I actually re-racked it to match the other one, instead of the other way around, since all the cables would be up front. I wasn’t paying attention to the time, and we actually started the process early. I thought I’d be staying late, but I actually finished about ten minutes before I normally leave.

I checked my blood pressure pretty high, but wasn’t feeling bad, so I headed home. They had locked me in, so I had to make my way out through the factory side. Eaddie had taken Muad’Dib to his vet appointment in the afternoon, and they were hanging out at home when I got there. Eli was there and then gone again to get some snacks for them. Summer got home from work and had to get cleaned up from her long day.

I took Muad’Dib for a casual run, then found Mom watering plants outside while Dad was at church for something. She offered some bánh ướt(?) inside, and though it was getting late, I was pretty hungry. Muad’Dib laid down in the laundry room like a good boy while I made my food, and then Dad got home just as I was running out the door.

We got home well after dark and Summer was in bed while the kids were watching TV.

able to be omitted without loss of meaning or function

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sdrawkcaB

I dragged out of bed this morning, and pretty immediately felt sick to the stomach. I got to work about half an hour later than I have been, but still within the parameters I was given, so I didn’t bother messaging ahead that I’d be late. I brought a container of some leftover rice, chicken, and veggies for lunch that looked a lot more like supper, but I was a little bit afraid to eat it.

I had an anxiety attack early on. Then I had a couple of meetings to sit in on, and felt mildly productive with some other things as well. I hope people like me.

I happened to go downstairs to warm up my food a little late and ran into Elizabeth as she warmed up her own. We ended up sitting in the breakroom to eat, and then Janice joined us. Elizabeth made a comment about someone who was voted one of the top nurses in the state, and then showed me a picture of my old friend Tiffany. I guess she’s dating Tiffany’s father, or something of the sorts.

The afternoon went by a little quicker, though I stayed a bit late and then got hung up in traffic for the second day in a row. I thought about stopping by Taco Bell to pick up a Tuesday deal I scored, since it would expire overnight, but ended up going straight to the house instead.

Summer and Eaddie were working on a chicken salad for pitas, and some guacamole for dinner, but it looked a lot more like lunch. It was really good though, and Eaddie brought Noah over to join us since he wrecked his car today, only then learning that his insurance had expired.

I took Muad’Dib for a run, visited with a little corgi named Kaylee, saw my parents, then made it home for the night. I gave him a good bath, and then tried to get to bed as quickly as I could. That was when I remembered Taco Bell. I couldn’t place a future order, and the kids wouldn’t pick it up for me, so Muad’Dib and I ran out to get it. To make things worse, the closer restaurant couldn’t make it, according to the app, so we had to drive all the way across town.

stank boys

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Roll On

I went straight to my office this morning. I definitely had an anxiety attack. A little while later I went downstairs for coffee and a bit of social…ism? It didn’t take long before I had questions coming at me, for programs which I was barely familiar.

I brought a bologna croissant, then spent a fairly long, fairly lonely, fairly cold afternoon upstairs.

The kids were gone when I got to the house, but Eaddie had received my Onewheel from UPS. I put it on the charger, brought Muad’Dib inside for a vacuum and to wash his paws, and then we went for a run.

We went around the block before going to Sonic for some mozzarella sticks. Summer was nearing quitting time, so I texted her and she actually met me there to get a corndog. We ate, and then Muad’Dib and I chased her down the road toward home. I had to wave her off to keep him from overexherting himself, and it was a slow walk the rest of our time out.

We zig-zagged a bit around our usual course and stopped at my parents’ house. Mom was asleep and Dad was out, so we waited for him to get home. I had a little bit of his scalloped potatoes, and then we made it back to the house where I gave him another good vacuuming and a spritz of cologne before bed.

Do it again. Only 14,669 to go.

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CTRL-C

Soylent, banana, bologna burger, Power Automate.

I might have had another anxiety attack. I can’t remember.

The girls were at the gym when I got home, so Muad’Dib and I stopped by my parents’ house for some potatoes. I washed his feet when we got home, then baked potatoes to go along with leftover ribs and chicken. The girls were preoccupied, so I ate alone, took out the recycling, and eventually made it to bed long after them.

CTRL-V

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Strangers Again

Muad’Dib didn’t want me to leave without him this morning. He followed me out and laid down behind my car, so I backed out slowly and tried to drive away. He ran after me, so I backed up to the driveway and Summer had to come get him. He laid down in the street, so she picked him up and carried him back home.

I had an anxiety attack sometime in the morning, and just sat at my desk as it passed. I sat in that room all day, staring at the screens in front of me. I had brought a bologna sandwich for lunch, and then had a conference call with our HubSpot rep at the end of the day.

It kind of seemed like Shane was a little slow to answer the rep’s questions, possibly because they hadn’t really had a sales strategy before, or at least not a formal process. This felt a little odd to basically be told that the business was doing really well without even trying. Obviously I’m still new to that world and lack any context, but it seemed to me that building an efficient and effective marketing and sales strategy could make things explode. I just hope I do a good job for them.

When I got back to town, I stopped to check on Summer at Superfast. She expected to be home after closing, but ended up right behind me when I got to the house. I waited until Mom was home from work and then headed over for dinner. Muad’Dib wanted to go out, so I let him run beside the car. He listened really well as I called out directions to him, and we got a couple stares from people we passed. I ended up stopping to pick up some poop, then drove him the last block.

My parents had left for the grocery store when we got there, so I dipped my toes in the pool while we waited. Once they got back home, Dad and I ate the chow mein while Mom did some more cooking. Then we headed back to the house so I could give Muad’Dib a bath.

It was a quiet night after that, though I would have liked to go to bed a bit earlier. The days feel like they’re getting longer.

left for dead

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Re-Store

I struggled to get rolling this morning, but I had one big task I wanted to complete, which was getting blood drawn for my upcoming appointment. I had some leftover hibachi stuff I had made on the grill, then got cleaned up for a trip out. Eaddie was trapped cleaning her room all day, so I took Muad’Dib and went to the hospital.

As luck would have it, the Genesis Cancer and Blood Institute was closed today. It didn’t even cross my mind to check their hours, but evidently they’re only there Tuesday through Thursday. We left there and ended up going to Summer’s storage unit on a whim just to see what she had moved.

After a few frustrating minutes of finding my way into the facility, locating the building, and then locating the storage unit, I was in. She had rented a fairly large space and piled up a few boxes of my stuff in the corner. It seemed to take her multiple trips in her Model Y, so I was worried at first, but I was able to fit all of it in my Model 3 even with the dog in the back seat. We headed home and I told her to cancel the rental.

I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening going through my stuff, reorganizing and familiarizing myself with where things were. Being highly dependent upon spatial awareness, having my shit moved is incredibly jarring. I managed to figure out most of it, and separated a few things to sell in the process. At one point I started digging through the dog’s locker and had a pretty quick anxiety attack.

Eaddie left for the gym and Summer got home late after closing the lube. It started thunderstorming just as I had decided to take Muad’Dib out for an acoustic walk, so we were stuck inside. He hadn’t had a good run in a week, so he took a long bathroom break out in the rain, and I decided to give him a good bath. He did fairly well, but then got distracted when the kids got home and ate a bunch of leftovers.

Summer has a run sometime tomorrow, but with the storm rolling through, it’s anyone’s guess what actually happens.

What a Shock. Top dinner.

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wasted space

I slept hard with hard dreams. Summer went to work in Conway after cancelling her oncology appointment. Eaddie left to meet with her advisor and make her class schedule. I managed to get out of bed and make a bologna sandwich to eat over the sink.

It was quiet all day, so I finished my new hire paperwork and then did my best to motivate myself to clean. The kids eventually came back, and Eaddie started some laundry while they watched TV. I climbed around and scrubbed some difficult spots in the shower. Summer had a relatively short day, so we planned to meet at Cici’s for an early dinner.

The kids and I met her there after she finished at the gym. While we were eating, I spotted Josh as he came in to meet his wife and kids. We had a laugh about him still not having his house finished. Then Eaddie rode home with Summer, and Eli and I took the fast car home.

I tried to take Muad’Dib out for a run later in the evening, but the Onewheel appeared dead. I couldn’t get any lights out of it. We came back in and I had a pretty heavy anxiety attack while vacuuming his fur. It was a short night after that.

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