Tag: crime and punishment

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Are You Sidereus?!

I slept in a little bit today after a fairly long, rough day yesterday. Time had lost most of its meaning anyway. Summer was having coffee in the living room, and I think Eaddie went to school at least for a little while. Shawna actually responded back to my checking in on her lack of checking in. I said my peace, which went predictably about the same that it did fourteen years ago. At least it provided a bit of closure so I could keep my eyes forward.

Summer went to work for a while, and I took a shower and then put on some music while I assembled a metal locker I got from Vine for our dog accessories. Later in the afternoon, Summer met me at the Genesis Blood and Cancer Institute when she finished her workout. I had to pay a bunch more money (big surprise!) for reasons that could not be explained (when are we expecting America be great again?), and then we sat in the waiting room for nearly an hour before going back for vitals and then a chat with an eerily chipper Dr. Chen.

He entered the room with a cheery, “Hey buddy!” that had me dreading the worst news. It must be incredibly deflating to deal with a terminal as a profession, but he had good news. I now had too much iron. He dropped my supplements, and then suggested an SSRI for my anxiety attacks. I was leery of too much tinkering, but I’m no science-denier. We’ll try it his way.

We headed home, but it was too rainy to run Muad’Dib. Summer took a bath, and then we went out to Check H for dinner. We watched a Ricky Gervais Netflix special when we got home, then started for bed. Eaddie called late because she had lost the keys to the Murano and was stuck at the high school. I actually had a bit of dialog with Shawna to wrap up the night, and wrap up whatever the fuck happened there.

Hopefully we all learned a little about each other, and a lot about ourselves.

🚩 Took me 20 minutes lol 🚩

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Shame on Me

I managed to lock in this morning and had all screens going for maximum efficiency. Each answer led only to more questions, but that is often the case with so many hands in the cookie jar. I brought some leftover pizza and munched on that throughout the day, so I didn’t go to lunch. I just kept digging for our unknown domain controller, assuming that our problems were due to misconfigured DNS, and Kyle wasn’t able to articulate anything to help. I think I’m on top of something big, though.

The afternoon went by pretty slowly, but there were people through the office all day to keep things from getting too dull. Traffic home was horribly slow. Just after I got into town, a storm blew through and I could barely see ten feet ahead of me. Within my last mile I saw several large branches go down, and our driveway was flooding into the garage when I made it home. If I had realized how high the water was, I would have left the garage door closed and just run into the house by way of the equally flooded front walkway. At least the step up there would have been high enough to prevent water from coming into the house.

Summer was warming up leftover spaghetti while I ran around trying to direct the water from the driveway around the north side of the house. Eaddie and Eli tried to help just inside the door as I ran for things like the leaf blower, squeegee, and eventually a towel to keep from dripping all over the house. I don’t think there was any real water damage after that, and I got almost all of it out the door.

I ate with Summer while the kids studied in the living room, but she finished pretty quickly. As of last night we had plans to meet Shawna at Crystal Bridges on Sunday, but Summer said she backed out today because she has a new boyfriend with pictures to prove it. I wish that was more of a plot twist than any of us expected, but I just hope she finds what she needs.

Summer went for a bath while I spent some quiet time with Muad’Dib in the rain. I took care of some chores and then set up a new wireless microphone for Eaddie’s flute, which also involved testing out my old PA system. The kids played with that for a bit, then I cleaned up a bit in the kitchen before bed.

The sun doesn’t give light to the moon assuming the moon’s gonna owe it one.

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Unbreakable

I woke up just before my alarm this morning and made it to work pretty early. I really thought I had to get Jim’s imaging issue fixed, but he called me away to babysit a Google Meet interview in the boardroom. You would think with so many educated people in a room, they could figure out how to click the button to join a meeting. I wasn’t even that surprised to find it was the interviewee who couldn’t figure out how to show our video, but I could at least have the chief of staff pull the Meet up on his phone and prove that our video was broadcasting correctly.

After that, I decided to give Captain D’s a try since I was already on that side of town. The girl at the counter could not have been more disinterested, but somehow the food was really great. I stopped at Walmart for some drinks on the way back to the office, and finished out the day in relative quiet. I had also picked up some dog food on clearance, but was overcharged, so I stopped by Walmart again on my way out of town to correct that.

I got home and Summer and the kids were on the couch watching gymnastics. I went out to play with Muad’Dib for a bit. Eaddie left to go stay the night with her father, and Summer came outside to sit with me for a little bit. Things have been super volatile, which made it a terrible time to try and discuss any of our issues, so she yelled at me and stormed off. I gave her a minute before following her to the living room, and she yelled at me a bunch more. That was when I saw she had gotten a new tattoo that said “Unbreakable” on her left forearm, and it crushed me.

Once we had cooled off, she sent me to take Muad’Dib for a run. He did great, didn’t chase any geese, and got to play in the creek for a little while since I just needed to be in the air for a little while. We made it over to my parents’ house to visit with them, and he got some more leftover pork before we headed home. Mom had leftover bún thang, so I asked Summer to come have dinner with them. We used to go visit much more often, and it’s been a big issue for me that it seems like she never wants to make the time with my family. I explained this again, and was super happy that she agreed this time. It was a great visit and great food.

We talked a bunch more when we got home, and things shifted from good to bad and back again several times. I got some laundry done, and she got some sleep before her 5k in Dover tomorrow. I was ready to pass out at any moment, but had things to do.

You gotta give them to the land

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PGA Tour

After the intensity yesterday, I knew I’d have to medicate today to keep the shakes down. I was early, so I just let the car do its thing to get me to the office, and from there I was actually pretty focused. I continued working in SCCM to fix some issues with Jim’s laptop deployment, but was still delayed by the network latency. At this point it would be much faster to just go to the high school and test my task sequences there.

I offered to take Maggie out to lunch for her birthday, but she said she had plans to meet a friend. She ended up disappearing for much of the day, so it was just the two old men and me, sipping my sweet tea all day. I didn’t eat my banana, and I wasn’t hungry for lunch, so I just plowed right through. I tried to stay hydrated, but somehow the lid to my cup popped off and I spilled 32 ounces of ice water all over the floor right outside our office. All I could do was shrug. I broke my cup and lid in the process, and to add insult to injury, they don’t seem to keep a mop in the closet with the other cleaning supplies. I had to use a rag to wipe it all up after wringing it out repeatedly.

The afternoon dragged by slowly, but quitting time eventually rolled around. I was exhausted and a bit dazed, but the car was a champ again. Eaddie called and wanted to know if we were going to go to Nebo with her, Eli, and my dad to take some more senior photos, so that was our new plan. I got home and tried to lay on the couch with Summer for a bit since she had gotten home fairly early. We started talking, and that continued off and on all night long.

The kids got there, followed by my dad, and we loaded Muad’Dib into the Pathfinder to drive up the mountain. Summer had to use the restroom, so we found the bathhouse first, then took some pictures at the overlook there. We still had quite a bit of daylight left, so we went around to the waterfall and took some pictures there. Our last stop was sunset point to get a few more shots as the sun set behind the clouds. I spotted a lone lady sitting on a rock staring into the distance, so I made a point to walk down by her with a smile and wish her well. I shared with her that I had spent many evenings there alone, and hoped that she was doing okay.

We stopped one last time at an overlook on the way down the mountain, and then headed home. My chat with Summer had kind of gone back and forth all day, but really took a defeating turn on the drive home. The way she digs into me and refuses any help unless somebody is forcing her makes me worry that I’m doing more harm than good just by being around at this point.

I didn’t find out until later, but Summer robbed my liquor cabinet on the way to take a bath. I warmed up some spaghetti for Eaddie and sat in the kitchen with her for another really great talk about how she basically wished we would split up. Coming from either of the other kids might have been an insult, but I knew what she meant. She just wants us both to be happy, and has a logical enough mindset that she sees a path forward for all of us. She recognized the decline of our relationship, especially after moving in together, and identified the core differences in our values and priorities. She especially didn’t want us sticking together on account of her, and hated that we’ve both been so unhappy in spite of how Summer says she feels. We discussed sitting down as a family to share our feelings, which is something I’ve struggled to get Summer to do even one-on-one, but Eaddie has proven time and time again that she has insight that both of us could use. She really is the daughter I always wanted.

I started to wind down, but heard Summer whimpering in the bedroom. By the time I got there, she was absolutely hammered and sobbing into her pillow from finishing my bottle of cocoa cayenne Bird Dog. In nearly eight years, I had never really seen her cry, and I’d definitely never seen her that drunk before. We “fought” for over two hours, mostly about me trying to get her to drink some water. I needed her to be able to open up emotionally, but in a more constructive way. We both called in to work, and I guess we’ll see if we can actually have an adult conversation tomorrow, but I’m betting on at least one hangover eating into that productivity. She is such an incredible woman, and we both learned and grew from one another a great deal in our time. I would still be broken in a big way without her. I never expected this to come to a head in this way. I’ve tried so hard, but I just don’t know if we can truly be good for one another in this kind of relationship.

Older than the ocean. Older than the night sky, I am.

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Tempestas Fugit

I got up this morning and considered taking Muad’Dib out for a bath, but as soon as I started petting him, even more hair came right out of his coat. He’ll need to get further along in his shedding before we bring him in for any length of time. I had plans to be pretty productive for the day, but it just didn’t happen. Summer was up and we were able to have what I thought was a long, meaningful chat. Eaddie had to prepare for prom when she got up, so all I really did after that was eat some tacos and then wait around for her.

Eli’s mom came over in the afternoon to do Eaddie’s hair and makeup. As they finished up, we got some pictures and then went outside to wait for his dad and sister to come and take pictures outside. I took Muad’Dib up the street for a quick jaunt just to burn some energy, and he jumped into Eli’s opened driver-side door when we got back. He knows cars are for adventures now, and he’s not afraid to go for it. The kids did great, and even Muad’Dib sat still long enough for some photos before they left.

Summer and I chatted some more in the evening, and I eventually got outside to grill a couple of burgers for dinner. It was dark by then, so I took Muad’Dib out for a run and tried to catch up with Shawna for a bit. We stopped to see my parents and their new kitchen countertop, and then it was a fairly quick night to bed. The kids came home to change before going to the after-prom party, but neither of us could stay up as late as they would be.

So taxing.

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Heavy Stuff

Muad’Dib ended up staying inside again last night, and he tore up some stuff in the living room. I stepped on a wet spot, but it turned out to be a cup of water someone left in the sunroom. One of the stuffed cows lost an eye, and he completely destroyed the 3D-printed heart gears that I had made. Other than that, it was just some packing material I had saved.

I was a little worried I was going to be late to work, but I had a tailwind and got there just a little after seven. It wasn’t very long before we had to run to the high school because FedEx showed up unannounced to deliver three big, heavy pallets of Chromebooks. Jim took Randy and me over to help move them, but we really didn’t need to be there. The truck driver fussed about making it to the loading dock, and showed up with a bit of an attitude after Maggie had called his supervisor. He did fine, so I don’t know what all of that was about.

I met with Randy and Kyle a little later in the afternoon to talk about some of the new cybersecurity guidelines we have to follow. We had a Tacos 4 Life bar from Genesis for lunch, and it was cool that they actually had the chafing dishes to keep the food warm. After that, they sent everyone home due to some incoming storms.

Randy let me go particularly early since storms were coming from my direction. It never really got bad for us though. It rained heavily for a bit, and we had some thunder and lightning. I hurriedly ran with Muad’Dib just as it started to sprinkle. We saw Dad briefly and then made it home. Summer was there and we went to the Neighborhood Market to pick up a couple things for dinner.

Eaddie got home just as we did, and we went outside to play with Muad’Dib for a bit and listen to the rain. Eaddie had a band thing scheduled, so I drove her to Tech only to find that it had been cancelled because they had no power. We had a good chat during the drive though, and it makes me so happy to hear how emotionally intelligent and smart she is.

When we got back, I sat by the tub with Summer so we could talk for a while. Then she got up and fried some potatoes and onions while I got the grill going with some premade burger patties and corn. It was a good, quick dinner and Muad’Dib sat under the table so calmly to accept scraps. Then everyone went to bed pretty quickly after that.

Naders are comin’!

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Lost and Found

The old men snoozed while I fought my SCCM update some more today. There was hardly anyone around, from what we could tell. Jay was in and out, but only Kyle wanted to do lunch. I met him at Mr. Cheng’s for some table service Chinese which was pretty good. The afternoon went by quickly only because we left at two.

I charged in Conway and then picked up Dad so we could run by Leonard’s and move the old toilets out of the garage at the old house. Then I dropped him off and took Muad’Dib out for a run. We got around the basin trail and up Promenade Circle when I spotted a wallet on the side of the road. I picked it up and called the police station when we got to my parents’ house.

The officer that was sent to return the wallet said there had been several break-ins reported, so I used that to warn the girls again to keep things out of the cars and keep the doors locked. They were both gone until fairly late, so Muad’Dib and I rode down to Sonic for a bite.

When we got to the PDQ, I saw a couple young guys on bikes. There was one kid with an R1 with the same body style as mine, and another on what I think was a newer Grom than what I’ve got. I stopped to chat with them for a bit and learned the R1 battery was dead. I offered to help, but he had people on the way to help. As we talked about the bikes, he asked what color mine was and whether I used to work at the junior high. He said the R1 was his dream bike in large part because he always saw mine parked outside, which was super cool.

Muad’Dib and I went on to Sonic for some cheese sticks and a “strawberry mangonada slush” while the guys got the bike charged up with some jumper cables and then left. Then we rode on back home and I unboxed a bunch of Vine stuff before the girls got home.

Turned Around

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Goulashes

It was a rough night, but I still woke up early to check on Muad’Dib. He had his head down all day, and it broke my heart how depressed he looked. I almost wished he had gone too, just for the sake of not being alone with whatever trauma he witnessed. He just hasn’t been right since we lost Stilgar, and I feel similarly. I tried to go back to bed for a while, but just laid awake with my mind rolling.

I eventually got around and spent some time outside with him before getting cleaned up to go for a run. I had been slowly organizing my thoughts for our Indianapolis trip, and needed to visit Dad to see what he had planned for taking care of Muad’Dib. We rode straight over to their house to visit, and then I took him backwards around the basin trail. He did great off-leash until we encountered a young guy spraying something on his lawn. Evidently he had an infant in a car seat in his garage floor, and Muad’Dib made a beeline for the kid as soon as it started crying. I ended up having to zap him multiple times to stop him dead in his tracks right by the guy, and I apologized profusely as I grabbed his leash and took him back to the road.

We got back home and I had a burrito for a late lunch and then paid my stack of medical bills. Eaddie came home and ate some of those leftovers with some Fritos as well, and then thought I should cook something with the extra macaroni that Summer made the other day. I eventually got back out of the house, washed my car again, then went to the Neighborhood Market for some hamburger meat and a bunch of snacks for our trip.

I ended up making a sort of goulash I found online, but with a twist of Rotel instead of diced tomatoes. I let Muad’Dib hang out with me in the kitchen while I cooked, and he was a super good boy. The girls were thrilled when they saw him inside, but I told them he couldn’t stay, especially while he was still dirty and untrained. The goulash was super easy, and the girls really liked it. It made a big pot of food, so we’ll have something to eat as soon as we get home.

The girls packed up and I took Muad’Dib for a quick night run back to visit Dad. Then I packed once we got back home. The girls went to bed super early as usual, and I just did what I could and powered through an anxiety attack.

As in the best it is.

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The Breakdown

I got up this morning to an empty house and checked on Muad’Dib. I didn’t have any messages about Stilgar, so I got showered and took the Pathfinder to visit Animal Control to see if they picked him up. In hindsight I guess I could have called again, but I was desperately hoping I’d get to bring him home. As soon as I got into the car, I saw how filthy it was from all of Eaddie’s junk in the passenger seat, center console, back seat, and trunk. There was crap everywhere, and the gas tank was empty to boot. I wasn’t even sure I’d make it to the shelter, so I turned around and went to Casey’s for some gas first. I redeemed a birthday donut and ate that in the parking lot, then made my way to the shelter.

The two ladies that were working said they hadn’t picked up anything like Stilgar, but immediately knew of him when I mentioned that Nancy had called 911 the day before. They said they had a couple people call about them killing cats, and that one of them, presumably the man, threatened to shoot them if they came around again. I think I knew it all along when Muad’Dib showed up by himself, but it really sank in when I got home and found the “final warning” door tag they had just left on our front door before I drove over.

I brought the leashes in from the car and had an absolute screaming fit before going outside to hold Muad’Dib. He hadn’t been eating, but he would take a few kibbles out of my hand if I offered them. We went out riding around to look for Stilgar, but didn’t hear a thing in the neighborhood. It was almost eerily quiet. We went all the way up Inglewood and visited the bank so I could pay Dad back for writing my sales tax check to the DMV. I realized I didn’t have my wallet once I got to the window, so we had to ride back home to get that, then made it back to the bank.

We waited longer the second time, but eventually got the cash and rode back to my parents’ house to give the money to Dad. That was when I realized they shorted me by 95 cents. We got back home and I got Muad’Dib situated in the backyard. Then I changed clothes and decided to take some returns to The UPS Store and then wash my car before going back to the bank for a third time.

The UPS Store visit was short and sweet since I took care of all the re-taping at home. The car wash was mostly out of soap, so it was a short wash. As I sprayed the side of my car, I noticed a fleck of white appear on the driver side rocker panel. Paint had actually flaked right off under relatively light pressure. I suspect they’ll try to deny it under warranty, but I feel like it’s worth pressing. Finally, I made it all the way back across town to get my missing 95 cents, and took Aaron for a ride in the new Model 3. I took him to our house since he had driven down Inglewood anyway. After I dropped him off, I went by the Neighborhood Market to get some hamburger meat to make tacos and clean up the veggies we still had at home.

I was unboxing Vine deliveries when Summer came home, and I was nearly shaking from the confrontation I knew we were about to have. Then she hit me with, “Why have you been ignoring me?” “I’ve been exhausted and in a tremendous amount of pain from riding 25 miles looking for my dog.” “You’ve been ignoring me all week.” I trembled as I yelled at her to leave me alone, and had another screaming fit in the laundry room after she slammed the back door going out to see our one remaining dog.

I eventually gathered myself enough to try and talk to her, but then after nearly eight years, she finally felt something strongly enough to yell at me. She was mad that “everything was her fault.” Ironically, that was precisely why I was mad as well. Of course she was wrong, but of course I wasn’t going to give her a list of all the stupid things she’s done on a daily basis to make my life more difficult at best, no matter how many times she asked me to name something. It was mutually assured destruction.

I had to clean myself up and went back outside to hold Muad’Dib, but knocked on the door to tell Summer she could come out too. She had calmed down and wanted to go to the gym, but I told her I had stuff to make burritos and that I hadn’t eaten anything all day. Then I asked her the question that’s been buzzing in my head for weeks: Did she book a hotel in Indianapolis with car charging?

“I don’t know.”

Eaddie got home just as Summer left for the gym, and we talked for a while as I cooked. We both ate, and then I had to go back to the store to get some Theraflu for my parents. Everyone was pretty much off to bed by the time I got home for the night, and I was up late stewing in my head for the next few hours.

Broke the Bank

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Brain Rot Kids

I had a rough start this morning, and it just never got any better. I was late leaving for work, which was compounded by slow traffic the entire way. I nearly got absolutely creamed by a semi when traffic came to a stop due to a wreck that closed the left lane. It was just barely around a curve, and traffic slowed so fast that a semi way behind me couldn’t slow down fast enough even after I turned on my blinkers as an early warning. I watched as he got bigger in my rearview, but thankfully he veered off the road to the left just as I started to the right. Traffic kind of split across both shoulders, but I don’t think any extra damage was done to anyone.

After that, I guess the slowdown that normally happens at the top of the hill when the sun peaks had worked its way back toward Conway. It was slow the entire way in to work, but nobody seemed bothered. I was actually pretty busy with stuff today, and I guess people were bothering Randy as well.

I met Kyle and Maggie at Cactus Jack’s for lunch at his request, and the food was pretty decent, typical Mexican. Jay called for help after I had sent him to central office to work some of Randy’s work orders, so I had to meet him there after lunch. What I thought was going to be a ten minute fix ended up taking the rest of the afternoon trying to fix a high-energy zoomer, and we still didn’t really complete it all.

I left straight from there and headed straight home, again through some stupid traffic, but thankfully at a much faster pace. The dogs were super anxious when I checked on them in the morning after being tied up all night, but Dad took them on a long walk during the day, so they weren’t too bad when I got home. They did knock over and chew up their water dispenser, which infuriated me to the point of dumping it and beating them with it. They cowered under the porch, but I can’t afford to buy them a new water bowl every week.

They came back out and we went for a pretty good walk. They’re definitely not as responsive to me without their prong collars, and the shock collars are too slow to give good feedback when we’re running. I did shock them both a couple of times when they eyed some cats, but otherwise they were fairly well behaved. We stopped to see Dad and then made it home for dinner. After they ate, I let them sit off-leash for a while before they made it out to the fenceline to dig some more. They still had their shock collars, so I zapped them both and tied them up.

The kids came home before Eaddie’s concert while I was assembling Vine stuff. Then I had to meet them and Summer at Witherspoon for a super long concert. I hated that we were there for the first band, and both played way too long, but I also just wasn’t in the mood. I was exhausted and sleep deprived after a night full of light sleep and weird dreams with caricatures. Summer was slow to leave, so I ended up leaving her behind and made it home to wrap up.

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