Tag: depression

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Orange is the Now Back

We grabbed a biscuit from Burger King on the way out of town, and ran a slalom of cops on the way to work. I was hoping to hear some news on our Traverse trouble ticket, but that wasn’t resolved all day long. I even tried scrubbing through our data, but was never quite sure what I was looking for. I took a little break and finally figured out the style color for hyperlinks on my own website, so I was happy to get that back.

I was going to take a late lunch until I realized we had a call in the afternoon. I was the only one on that since Joel was out and Tammy said she was busy, so I sat there for fifteen minutes to watch what could have been an email with a slide deck.

The afternoon was sort of short after that. I had an anxiety attack, and finished the day out trying to get a remote desktop solution working for some computers I’ll have in the plant.

Summer was in Conway for an employee’s graduation, so I met her there for lunch. She picked a place called Kyojin Phở, so wee made our way through half a dozen roundabouts and finally found her. Ben called me on the drive to see if we were coming to Toadsuck, so I talked to him for the last bit of the drive. Kyojin Phở just happened to have a patio, so Muad’Dib got to come sit with us. I got a combination phở, and Summer got a combination dry noodle dish, so he got most of our tripe and tendon. The food tasted good, but my soup was surprisingly cold.

I let the car drive 100% of the way home, and only pressed the accelerator a couple times to push the speed. Otherwise it took me from parked to parked, and it did a pretty great job. Summer actually beat us home though, because it took us around a block of Tech for some reason. I might have stopped it if I had noticed, but I didn’t catch it in time.

Summer went in to get ready for her run in the morning, and I took Muad’Dib for a run. He did pretty great most of the way to my parents’ house, but then slowed down a bit. It was quite a bit cooler though. When we got back, I fixed Summer’s gross earbud that got clogged, then got ready for bed.

It’s like work, but less rewarding!

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Tip Cow WTF!

I made it out a little early in spite of waking up feeling completely dead, so we stopped at Hardee’s for a surprisingly good prime rib biscuit. We were immediately greeted by Roxy, who I had forgotten. Janice brought her once before, and I don’t remember Muad’Dib being quite as bothered by her last time. They nipped at each other a little bit, which was dangerous since she was roughly the size of a squirrel.

I tinkered with stuff intermittently, and finally figured out some domain configuration for myself. I finally put together a sassy tip screen to whip out when I do things for others. I even made a landing page for Julie and Kevin, but Julie wasn’t ready to publish anything and wanted to wait until later.

When lunch came around, we went to Sonic for a big burger, chicken bites, and cheese sticks. Muad’Dib sat next to me like a good boy and got lots of everything. It felt like a good afternoon, so I treated myself with a cherry limeade as we headed back to work.

The afternoon was short on account of how late we ate. I ran into some annoying traffic parked in the left lane, but we made it home. Summer had to leave for a team meeting, and then I got a call from Dad who had sprung a water leak at the old house. I raced over with a tool to help shut it off, but completely forgot about meeting Julie to do their lawn. I guess Dad didn’t think anything of it either, because afterward I went to vacuum my car and then was going to wait for Summer to finish her team meeting so we could find dinner.

Julie texted angry, so I raced home with my weedeater to grab some batteries, then got to my parents’ house to find her bossing Kevin around with his trimmer. I pulled a few weeds, but the work was done. We cleaned up, they left, and then I went home to wait for Summer.

I thought she was heading home from her meeting, but she sat in her car for a while as I raced Muad’Dib around the block. We got back just as she did, only to learn that she wasn’t hungry anyway. I ate my leftover KFC, and then did some cleaning up before bed.

Oh, gods…

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Fuster Cluck

This morning dragged on forever, but then around lunch time I had to go downstairs to take a look at some laptops that were on site for the day. That led to some discovery, which I assumed led to more work due to our slow internet. I ended up skipping lunch and eating a couple leftover cupcakes to tide me over. I spent most of the afternoon downstairs working on a new laptop for Eric until quitting time.

We stopped by Superfast to check on Summer, but she was feeling really puny. She wanted KFC, so we went by there to pick up some food. It was hazy inside, so I had to guess that was just the new normal. The register still blinked strange hieroglyphics, and there was a line of people inside and out. It felt like I was standing there forever in spite of how many employees seemed to be legitimately working.

We finally made it home to eat, and I was just exhausted. I took Muad’Dib for a bit of a run at first, but then it turned into a walk until we saw my parents and eventually got back to the house. Summer was in bed, so I wrapped things up and went to sleep early.

What’s it take to get some decent fried chicken around here?

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Doggy Daycare

I considered breakfast this morning, but couldn’t come up with a worthy deal in time and just showed up at work early instead. Amanda needed help downstairs, so I spent a while working down there. Teddy came out of Rhonda’s office and ran around with Muad’Dib for a while, but then she made him go back before we left. The morning went by pretty quickly, but luckily we left for lunch when we did, because I forgot about the call I had in the afternoon.

We ended up at Taco Bell, then made it back just in time to hop on with the Aptean guys again. There was really no point to the call other than for us to be prompted to fill out a survey. I didn’t leave great remarks. The afternoon really dragged on after that.

Chick-fil-A sent me a free fry, so we stopped by on the way to get those on the way home. I saw Kevin and Hope at AT&T, so we stopped there to see them while we ate. Kevin was on his way out, but I caught up with Hope a bit before we left. Just as we were pulling out, I met the new store manager and we chatted briefly, and he suggested I should come back and work a part-time position they had because he “liked my vibe.”

I was pretty hungry when we made it back to the house, so I ate some leftover mush with Summer and then we sat on the couch and watched some YouTube for a while. She suggested popcorn and a movie, but I guess she changed her mind after I took Muad’Dib on a late run in the cooler air.

We visited my parents, and then I basically had to drag him back home. I ate some other leftovers and Summer went to bed.

Woah, again.

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Grating Warmth

Muad’Dib seemed to feel a little sick this morning, because he jumped right out of the car and ate some grass, then sat down and threw it right back up. He didn’t act particularly puny otherwise, but something made him sick. We made it upstairs and got to work for a pretty busy day after that.

I couldn’t decide on lunch, but I thought I wanted to sit outside with him for a bit. That was until we got outside and he kept wandering around instead of coming back to me to get in the car. That irritated me to the point that I decided to leave him in the car while I went in for some Wendy’s.

The afternoon was busy as well, and we ended up leaving a little late. Traffic was a bit annoying, but at least Summer promised chicken and dumplings for dinner. She was breaking down a rotisserie chicken when we got to the house, so I took Muad’Dib for a medium-speed run. We visited Dad, and then I basically had to drag him the rest of the way home.

Dinner was okay. The lemon pepper chicken and canned biscuits made it too sweet with another slightly odd flavor, but it wasn’t bad. I tried to emphasize my appreciation. She went to be shortly after that, and I cleaned up and ate some leftover cake, but the kids got into it and destroyed a large part of it for some reason. I don’t know what they were trying to do, but it frustrated me. Frustrations compounded for a while until I finally got everything done for bed.

🪛

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Quitcher Bellyachin’

I started first thing this morning with an emotional reaction to some silly account related stuff before I could even get up the stairs. With that mostly resolved, I had a quiet day with Muad’Dib. I’ve got to get over whatever hump I’m on with completing some projects, but at least I feel a little more secure in how I’ll be filing taxes.

Muad’Dib did wonderfully at Taco Bell for lunch. I had a discount on a tiny meal there, so we ended up swinging by Sonic for some chicken strips as well. I just ate them in the car when we got back to the office, and then we finished out the afternoon.

Summer was home a little earlier and cooked the potatoes and onions she prepped a couple days ago while I ran Muad’Dib to go see Dad. He wasn’t running very much, so I thought I’d try something new and improvise a new path. We made it, but I still left him behind for several blocks at a time. I don’t know why he just doesn’t seem to care about running until the very end.

Summer and I ate as soon as we got back, but then she had an emotional reaction to feeling miserable at work, which has been a frustration of my own for several years at this point. We finished eating and retired early, so I ran her a bath and then laid with her briefly before going off to do my own thing for the night.

The screen is just going to ask you a few questions.

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Spur of Thought

I really planned to have a Soylent this morning, but then I got super hungry just as I was getting into Morrilton again, so we stopped at Wendy’s for a small breakfast. Muad’Dib was super distracted and didn’t want to come inside, which left me shivering in the wind. We finally got inside and I continued tinkering with Intune.

Summer finished with her meeting early and wanted to meet for lunch, but I didn’t want to eat too early, so I had her meet me at the office. She came in to see Maple, but she was being shy all day and wouldn’t even come to me for a treat. We went to Ortega’s and had a really good lunch, and then I had her go by Ridgewood on the way home so I could try their pastrami special.

Earlier in the morning, I finally emailed Future Motion for an update on my Onewheel. It took them all day to respond that after thorough testing, they found nothing seriously wrong with it. That was exactly what I knew they would say, and I probably should have just disputed the charge with Discover Card first instead of talking to them again. They’re such an incredibly shitty company.

I finished the slow afternoon, completely forgetting about therapy until right at 4:30, so we raced out the door and made it just in time to wait another five minutes. I felt like our session was really good this time, but I didn’t realize how depressed Summer was really feeling. All I can really do is try to keep communicating with her, but doing happy little things is never going to be enough to turn this around for good.

When we got home, she put the cabbage in the slow cooker with the corned beef she started in the morning, and then we waited to eat. Once we did, dinner was great. Then her birthday present arrived and we set up our pair of BedJets for some temperature controlled air in the beds. Hopefully this keeps us comfortable and try, since she has a habit of feeling cold and then sweating all over the place.

What do you call a cow who tells dad jokes? Corney beef!

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Talko Boosday

I felt pretty terrible this morning, but we managed to get to work before eight. It was a super slow recovery until lunch time at Ortega’s. I think I had an anxiety attack somewhere along the line. Later in the afternoon, one of the guys called for help with HubSpot, and of course I knew nothing. At least tech support couldn’t help either.

We left a little early to get to therapy, though we’ve been starting late enough that I think I can leave at my regular time and still make it. Summer was busy until just after five, and even then we had to wait for Dwayne to come let us in.

We ended up sitting outside with Muad’Dib and his little dog, Lucy. They played more than we talked, and I was a little surprised at Summer’s recollection of the weekend. I haven’t been very happy with our sessions so far, so I don’t know how much longer I’ll be interested in going.

Summer had a meeting, so I went to the house and cleaned up a little. Eaddie was in the shower when I got there, but left shortly thereafter. Summer eventually came home and seemed continually troubled, but didn’t know why. She went to bed pretty quickly, and I followed soon after.

Uninteresting

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Decompresso

I just barely crawled out of bed this morning from the exhaustion I felt after this weekend. We managed to get to work, but only after I saw a notification that McDonald’s had $1 Egg McMuffins . We soldiered on, and made a little bit of progress all day.

It was nice out, so we went to Sonic for lunch and just enjoyed some time outside. The afternoon went by fairly quickly after that. We stopped by the old house to pick up a couple of things, and talked to David from next door for quite a while. He seemed excited just to see a neighbor. Then we made it home to an empty house.

Summer was at the gym for a while after a trying day. Eaddie had eaten my leftovers, so I had some drinks while I cleaned up in the dining room. It was a quiet evening until bedtime.

I have not been myself for most of my life.

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Square Wheel Keep On Turnin’

I woke up hungry today, but I tamed that with a Soylent. I’ve been under-stimulated and under-motivated, but I played around some more with PiSignage and its less-than intuitive interface. I didn’t decide on lunch until we got outside, and then decided on Wendy’s. Muad’Dib looked back at me through the windows with jealousy, so he got a treat when I finished. Then I let him run back to the office from the very end of the street. That boy misses the Onewheel as much as I do.

The afternoon was a little more focused, but only just. The drive home had more traffic than I expected, which got worse as we got to town. I should have let the car take the first exit like it wanted. It knew better than me. We ended up going around our normal route at the last exit, and finally made it to the house.

The girls were home so we could chat about Eaddie’s band trip, but I guess I had figured most of it out before I got there. I wanted to book a hotel, but that didn’t happen. They got distracted by the television, and then I warmed up food for Summer and myself. We just can’t all stay focused on one thing ever. Then I got upset with Eaddie because she and Eli left about a quarter of a steak worth of scraps in the trash, which I fished out for Muad’Dib.

I thought I had caught a rat because I didn’t see my bait, but evidently something got to it without falling in. I added some more bread, then started some laundry to finish up the night.

I don’t wanna wait