Tag: depression

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On Leash

I rode the Onewheel around the block this morning and found the dogs playing in someone’s garden on the corner of Ridgewood. They ran after me full-speed when they saw me, and heard me blowing the dog whistle I got from Dad. They ran all the way home, and though they hesitated to go back into the gate, they laid down on the porch like they might just rest a while. Unfortunately they were gone again by the time I left for work, and I didn’t see them as I drove away.

Shortly after I got to work, I got a notification from the same girl that posted about them on Nextdoor, and she said they were seen on Tanglewood. I sent the girls after them, and I guess they had some help from at least one neighbor who straight-up carried Muad’Dib over to Summer. Stilgar had to be fetched from the end of the road, and for some reason Summer thought it would be best to load him into the Model Y instead of just have him follow her home in the rain.

I did a bunch of Disney planning and took care of some things I’d been needing to do. Keith found me an old pallet that I could take home to mend the fence, and I eventually left that ghost town. I fed the fish and then went home to clean up. Julie called to settle a bet with Kevin, and my blog came to her rescue. I told Kevin I would have erased his name for half the price of losing the bet. Maybe now Julie understands the value I get from journaling everything.

Eaddie was out with friends, so I asked Summer if she wanted to go try the pork steaks at Ridgewood Brothers. As we were leaving, we noticed she had another crack spreading up her windshield from a pretty big impact spot in the bottom-right, so we added that to her air conditioning service appointment. Grant was at the restaurant running a full crew for a mostly empty dining room. The pork steak was good, but I don’t think ours were glazed properly when they were served. If they were, then we still needed more because they were pretty dry. Of course they were huge, thick cuts of lean meat that had been smoked and then finished on a grill. They weren’t overly tough or difficult to eat, but they would have been great with a cup of glaze for dipping.

When we got back home, we decided to take the dogs out for a walk to my parents’ house. It went pretty well until we got there and I let Stilgar off of his leash. Summer just dropped Muad’Dib’s, and he took off after a cat under the porch. I got angry and she tried to just leave me there alone, which made me even angrier. I got her to come back and help, and she saw Muad’Dib gnawing on something under the porch. We were worried it was the cat, but we were pretty sure it was just the leash. When they finally came back out, I hosed a bunch of mud off of the leash and gave them some water before we headed back home.

She went to the bedroom after that, and I took care of some things before eventually getting to bed myself. I’m constantly sleep deprived, angry, frustrated, depressed, and just about any other negative emotion there is. I’m hoping a vacation will help, but I’m already stressed about traveling, and worried about what the dogs will get into while we’re gone. Summer informing me that she’s paying Noah to come house-sit while we’re gone only made me feel worse about the situation, and angry that she didn’t consult me first. Telling me that she was going to “set some ground rules” was not the consolation she thought it might be.

I’ll have them longer.

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Nobody Asked You Patrice!

I caught the dogs in the act of digging under the fence this morning, and in spite of being in trouble, they were super excited to see me. I gave them some pets and treats with the hopes that they would stick around, and tried to cover up their start of a new hole, but they got out again while I was in the shower. As I was walking out the door, a new neighbor stopped to let us know. Summer woke up and got the front door just as I was discovering they weren’t in the back yard. Luckily we were able to get them back inside without too much trouble, but they were pretty high-energy.

There was no time for breakfast, and traffic was stupid. I got to work a little over 10 minutes late, but again, the place was mostly a ghost town. I submitted my vacation request form, though technically my contract will be over by then, and they don’t have to hire me again. I’m playing this one by ear. I ended up in Blake’s office and chatted with him for a while, and then a guy came in with three big bags of sweet corn for the school. I eventually got some for the office, and then took some home at the end of the day.

Other than that, my big human interaction was when Troy stopped by and actually sat down and chatted with me a little bit. I thought that was kind of neat, but I’m sure he mostly just needed a break from the heat. I eventually headed home and fed the fish.

I got to the house just as Summer was finishing up dinner. She thought it would be a good idea to cut up the leftover dried chicken and form patties with egg and bread crumbs. They were even dryer than the chicken was by itself, and it made no sense at all. I rolled the grill out and cooked some corn while I played with the dogs for a while. It sprinkled with a little thunder in the distance, and the dogs stuck around on the porch. It was really nice that we didn’t have to hunt for them at all today.

I wish they were trained well enough to take to work.

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The Three Houndini

The dogs left again sometime between being fast asleep on the porch at three in the morning, and when I got up for work at five. Eaddie went out to look for them while I was in the shower, but didn’t have any luck. I made it to work a little bit early, but not nearly as early as I wanted. The morning went by pretty quickly, though I kept wanting to fall asleep. I hardly saw anyone all day, which was both good and bad.

Summer had dinner going, so I fed the fish and made it home. Neither she nor Eaddie ever saw the dogs, but I looked down and back up, and they were all three sitting on the porch. I had to assume they were in the neighbor’s yard.

Eli was with us all evening for sloppy joes, and then drove Eaddie to meet us at the dog wash again. Stilgar had stuff all over him, and I couldn’t tell what. On top of crusty stuff, he was full of stickers from the yard that wouldn’t come out. At least he smelled a bit better when we were done. The neighbor brought Muad’dib and Chani out of her back yard again when we got back, and Chani seemed a little more sluggish than before. She’s been pretty quiet, but it seemed worse. I’m sure they’ve been passing something around, or possibly getting sick from stagnant water.

I rode the Onewheel to my parents’ house to try and sew up some pants, but Dad didn’t have any grey thread and I just headed back home for the night. I wound down quickly so I could actually get to bed by ten.

Unrested

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Summer School Burnout

It was only the second day of summer school, and I was over it. I think we only had under a dozen kids in for the summer, so the motion-sensing lights are off in the hallways for most of the day. I did manage to get some lunch this time since Becky prompted me around 11:30. That helped, but the afternoon still dragged on.

I was reasonably accomplished with some tasks of lesser importance. I took out some trash and just tinkered all day. There’s really a long list of apps I need to compile to comply with new laws, but that just doesn’t sound fun.

I ended up staying late so I could take Friday off. There’s no way they’ll need me then anyway, so there’s no sense in working five days. The drive home was pretty quiet, and southbound traffic was backed up once again. I couldn’t imagine having to wait that long to get back into Dardanelle, but there’s just no better way.

After feeding the fish, I was going to go see Summer, but there was a wreck blocking my intersection and I just went home instead. I rode the Onewheel to my parents’ house and ate some leftovers with them. Then I ran home to get a little jar of cat food to give to Dad. On the way back to their house, a couple kids stopped to ask about the Onewheel, and I let one of them try it. He didn’t stay on long at all before jumping off.

Once Summer got off, we dropped the Model Y off at the high school for Eaddie. She wouldn’t be home until super late, so rather than wake up and bring her home, we figured she’ll have her phone and can get home herself. Once we got back home, I doped up to try and sleep through my congestion, and it was off to bed.

They don’t know what they’ve got.

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Bummerial Day Weekend

I forgot to disable my alarm for the morning, so I was a little startled by that, but I didn’t want to sleep too late anyway. Summer was feeling much worse again and wanted to go to the urgent care clinic. We drove downtown but ended up turning around so I could just give her some medicine at home. I loaded her up on DayQuil and vitamins, and warmed up some chicken strips, mashed potatoes, and gravy for lunch. Then I made her sit outside in the sun for a little bit instead of being cooped up inside all weekend.

We didn’t really do anything else all day. I took a shower and picked up a couple pizzas for an early dinner, and then we watched The Wolverine, or as I called it, “Wolverine Goes to Japan.” The whole movie felt kind of meaningless to me.

Eaddie eventually came home and brought Eli over for the evening. They sat in the dining room and made Lego flowers and crochet for a while. I wanted to get outside for a bit, but it just didn’t happen.

What a depressing weekend.

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Trapped Beef

I tried to get up at a reasonable time this morning and made coffee for Summer and myself. She hadn’t fully disassembled the steam wand previously, so it was clogged and had to be cleaned. Irritations kept compounding, and I eventually found myself hiding in my office all day. I did come out to fry some rice and egg for lunch, and cleaned up the brats along with that. Summer didn’t feel well all day, and slept on the couch for some of the afternoon.

I cleaned the ceiling in the shower and then milled around the house for a while. I eventually left and picked up some dinner for us both at Arby’s. Eaddie decided to stay in Clarksville for one more night, so Summer and I settled in and watched X-Men: First Class. Then she went to sleep.

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X-Day

Summer had to work this morning. I tried not to sleep too late, but Eaddie beat me to the shower. Then she disappeared to go to a friend’s party while I was in the shower. Summer came home excited about getting full self driving in her car, and wanted to go out to eat. The driving really had improved and seemed more assertive when taking off, and less afraid of cars crossing the street or turning in front of you.

We went to Mulan’s for lunch and then walked through the Lowe’s garden center, completely forgetting that I had reserved a free flower for Mother’s Day. We wanted to go grocery shopping to get steaks and potatoes for the family, but Summer started to feel a little sick and we ended up going straight home.

She had been talking about watching the X-Men movies after Mom watched the Wolverine origin movie the other day, so we watched the very first movie. Then I made her go out and mow as it started to get dark, and I cleaned up the kitchen in preparation for company.

Eaddie got home really late, so she’ll be spending all Sunday cleaning her room. That means I’ll have to sneak into the laundry room if I want to wash any of my own clothes. Today was a relative bust as far as I was concerned, and afternoon coffee had me up into the wee hours just doing nothing.

Stupid thermostat.

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Blessed Graduates

I had a rough start this morning, but I knew I’d be working late and didn’t have a problem showing up late in the morning. Kim was away chaperoning a trip to Magic Springs, and Denice had people in the back office for meetings the entire day, so I was left to my own devices. It was nice, lonely, productive, and stressful all at the same time. I spent most of the morning tinkering with the sound system in the gym. I got it to sound pretty decent, but I still think it was hooked up incorrectly.

My daily schedule was a bit messed up, so lunch came and went, and the day was over before I knew it. The leftovers I brought for lunch had gone bad, so I went to the workroom with the hope that there would be some barbecue left. All that was there were lemon bars, so I took a couple of those and grabbed some “puppy chow” that I found in the front office.

As I got hungry, I remembered that I had a package of ramen and Kim had brought me some fresh eggs, so I boiled some water in the kettle and dressed that up the best I could. It was actually pretty good. Graduation went without a hitch as far as I could tell, and I was surprised to hear a student lead an unmistakable prayer, “amen” and all, at the start of it.

I ended up leaving with everyone else because I got into a project I had been working on. Traffic was stupidly slow on the way home, but it was just a couple people driving well under the speed limit. When I got into town, I got some gas and fed the fish. Then I stopped by Sonic for some cheese sticks. Their speaker box didn’t work though, and they didn’t have a sign up, so I sat there for a while looking like an idiot before I pulled up to the window.

When I got home, Eaddie and I went outside to try and see the northern lights, but we didn’t have any luck. Summer was fast asleep so she could go to work in the morning, so I stayed up a while on the computer before bed.

Ickier every day.

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I Have Reservations

I woke up before my super early alarm this morning with a shin and calf cramp. I managed to walk to my office so I could try and book some dining for Disney, and it was surprisingly a cinch in spite of the fear Julie had instilled in us. All day, there were still reservations available everywhere. While I was confirming all of that, I called a couple different numbers to find someone that could fix Eaddie’s age in the app, so hopefully that experience will work correctly now.

It’s been hard getting into anything too serious since I feel like I won’t be sticking around long. I still haven’t heard anything from Harry or Blake, even to say they don’t want to meet with me. Maybe they’re just both busy, or maybe they’ve just already made up their minds. Maybe I have too.

My parents wanted me to meet them at Georgia Carpet Mills to pick out some flooring for the old house after work, so I did that and then went to feed the fish before going to Little Caesar’s to pick up dinner for the kids. I had placed my order an hour and a half in advance, but still had to wait for over 20 minutes for them to make and bake my order. I haggled the girl for some dipping sauce, and she kind of gave me side-eye, but I wasn’t having any sass after their miserable operation. I still want to open a store next door called Big Brutus.

Eaddie had a house full of teenagers by the time I got home, and Summer was busy with work calls for a little while. My parents stopped by to eat too, and then Mom sat down on the couch and watched the entirety of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. It was a little warm in the house with so many people there, so Summer and I sat outside for a little bit to cool off after my parents left. I felt sleepy all night, but didn’t really want to go to sleep with everyone still there. The lack of sleep from the night before has made the day a struggle though.

Great, now I don’t know where anything is.

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Life Auditor

Traffic was super bad in Dardanelle this morning, but luckily I was early enough to peel out of line and duck into Burger King for a biscuit. Denice had visitors in her office for nearly the entire day, and Kim was in and out between personal calls as usual. It’s burnout city there this week.

I ended up staying late because the auditor needed some help in the front office, and evidently she was just continuing to work past everyone else leaving. I don’t even understand why she had to be on-site if it didn’t matter whether anyone else was there. She got super chatty, and apparently had to look me up after I had talked to her weeks ago because her son knew Julie back in school. She was nice, but didn’t seem to fully grasp all of the bureaucratic crap she was there to do. After I gave her any and all insight I had to offer, she started telling me her life story.

I finally made it home about an hour late, fed the fish, loaded up a few things, and found Summer at home grilling brats for dinner. We ate our really good, no-frills dinner, and then I sat on the couch and watched YouTube with Summer for a while before everyone was off to bed.

Gary, Gary, Ben, and Terry