Tag: depression

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Unmake the Bed

Something sapped me yesterday, because I was sleepy all morning today. I slept super late and then got up to some black coffee, and I made tuna pitas for the kids. Eaddie asked about moving the bed again, but there still wasn’t a place to put it in the spare room. I don’t think anyone else realized how small that room really was, and certainly no one was super motivated to actually unpack what had already been moved.

The kids left every single light on in the outhouse after they got rid of the cat, and I had to send them back out to bring all the blankets and pillows into the house. It seems like things are always left half-finished, and they tell me I’m being mean regardless of how, or how many times I point that out. I assembled the little aquarium stand I bought years ago, and eventually got Eaddie to go through some of the stuff in the spare room.

Noah spent some time online looking for work. He’s been couch-surfing for a little while, which meant his truck has been parked in our driveway long enough for me to find the new tailgate handle we bought for him several months ago, and replace it. Unfortunately, Summer lost the accompanying trim screws that I had been keeping with the handle, so I couldn’t truly complete the job. With the tailgate more or less functional, we cleaned all the trash out of the bed of the truck, and took a tarp and some straps to the old house to load up my bed.

We got everything into the spare room and I started washing all of the bedding before I started dinner. Noah mentioned possibly taking Eaddie out to eat, but he had also been talking about trying to save up money while he doesn’t have a job. I don’t know whether he had considered the cost of food and smokes over time, but it didn’t seem well-prioritized. I reminded him that I had everything for burritos, so that at least took care of dinner.

Summer got home late and tired, but we had to have a family discussion. Eaddie had been a bit contrary for a few days, and mentioned earlier in the day that she had given our address to Beth so she could send gifts. I knew the adults would have to talk first, so Summer and I caught up, then brought Noah in to discuss his plans and expectations. Finally we brought Eaddie in to wrap it all up, but Noah went for a walk because he preferred to keep his conversations one-on-one with her, even though he mirrored our own concerns about Beth.

The family talk was kind of more of the same that we’ve all heard before. I’m a mean, old man that has to have his way, and I never compliment the girls. The floors are still dirty, and I’m the only one that notices the “handwash only” stamped on the bottom of the dishes. I wonder if I’d be happier if I didn’t care about anything.

I’m going to need a specific example of what constitutes a compliment if they don’t count when they’re in response to accomplishing expectations that were previously set.

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Regrounding

I slept reasonably well last night in the new house, but it was still a hassle to go home in the morning. I was reasonably early for work, and the cafeteria lunch menu didn’t sound very appealing for most of the week, so I stopped at McDonald’s for breakfast. Nothing remarkable happened at work, and things were mostly pretty quiet. I still kind of feel like a temporary guest there most of the time, and I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.

The electrician finally made it out to the house, so I had Summer meet him there to test charging. The breaker never tripped, but evidently he tightened some ground wires while he was there. I’ll have to get my tools from the new house to see if that fixed the floating ground issue I had elsewhere in the house.

After work, I met Summer at the high school for parent-teacher conferences. The atmosphere there seemed to be about what I expected with the current regime. I’d love to take a survey to see if anyone has anything nice to say.

When we finished, I got tacos and went home. Summer didn’t want to get back out to help me with bulk item pickup after she got to the new house, so I just ended up staying home for the night.

Disapproval Ratings

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2,000-inch TV

I was going to be super early leaving the house today, but then Summer and Eaddie both showed up separately because Eaddie forgot a bunch of stuff at home. I squeaked out and stopped at McDonald’s for a McGriddle, and then made it to work in plenty of time. The maintenance guys came around pretty early and helped me swap a couple touch panels that were being replaced under warranty. Then I spent most of the afternoon drafting a form letter for damaged devices.

I managed to leave on time today, and went home for a bit before going to the new house. My Wall Connector threw the breaker twice today, so I’ll need to check that out sooner than later. I took an armful of stuff to the house that I had been needing, but still didn’t really accomplish much. All of my plants were looking pretty sad, so I had to take care of them first.

Mom made bánh xèo for dinner, so I left to eat and then got back to the house relatively quickly. I did get the locks changed, and figured out how to use the garage keypad. I didn’t caulk the shower like I wanted, just because it seemed dirtier than I expected it to be after Summer said she scrubbed the thing totally clean. Instead, I cleaned up Eaddie’s shower around the handle that I wanted to caulk, and then realized I didn’t actually have any clear silicone.

I made it up to Summer’s, where she was in bed with some popcorn. Eaddie eventually made it home and talked to us for a while, and then everyone was off to bed.

Driveless

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Pain of Glass

This week mellowed out quickly, but that may be from my own intentional ignoring of work orders. Chromebook carts are done, so we enrolled a bunch more devices to shuffle with the elementary. The internet went goofy for a while, but of course I didn’t have the tools in place to explain why. It was just bad for some reason.

I had a video call with a couple of guys from the Department of Information Systems to upgrade our VPN service. That went poorly enough that we’ll have to troubleshoot another time. Fortunately, I don’t know of anyone that actually uses that VPN service. It’s possible that somebody does, but I’ll just have to find out who when it stops working.

Fast Glass called to say that Summer’s windshield didn’t come in. I asked about mine, she said she would call me right back, and of course I never heard another word. That reminded me to go and leave a bad review for River Valley Tinting and Glass after they scratched the window trim on the Model Y back in April.

I made it home a little late and hung out to charge for a while. Julie called to update me on the Entergy job, which is to say that operations are just slower than expected, and that no news is still good news. Then I took the car in for a much-needed wash before I made it up to Summer’s. I had her start baking the casserole from weeks ago so we could try and clean it up. Eaddie came home and went straight to homework, and eventually everyone went to bed.

The scope has changed.

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Shut In and Shut Up

My office was pretty toasty this morning since the air had been off all night. It wasn’t long before Toby came by and said he needed help with the HVAC server. He got hold of a couple people that directed us to reset some things on our virtual machine that ran the HVAC software, and we eventually got things running again. It took most of the day to cool my office down, but I was thankful to have some air.

Kim was out to take her boys to the dentist, so I shut myself in my office and finished up a bunch of Chromebook carts. I grabbed some chili for lunch and continued enrolling more devices, and then left just a few minutes early so I could get to Gardner before Gary left. I was hoping they had some tech tubs left, but apparently they threw most of them in the garbage and wanted to keep whatever they still had left. I understand not keeping everything, but they had so many brand new tubs that could have been used for something. I’ll never understand the money that’s just thrown away like that.

After talking with Gary for a while, and then briefly with Thomas in the parking lot, I went to both Casey’s stores to redeem some rewards. Then I went home to charge for a while before heading up to Summer’s. I stopped for tacos along the way, and saved some seeds from the Taco Villa hot sauce, hoping I could grow them to learn what kind of peppers they use.

Eaddie was out late for band practice, and Summer went to bed early. I just sat in the dark for quite a while until bed.

The toxicity of our city.

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Juggling Procrastinator

Autumn woke me up this morning to ask me to take Eaddie to school because Eaddie didn’t want to get out of bed. I refused and went to wake Eaddie up myself. I couldn’t get back to sleep after that, so I got up and poked around on the computer once they were gone. I started drafting an email to my first and only interested law firm, but still wasn’t ready to hit “send” until I had more to ask. I nibbled on a little bit of leftover ham, and then left to take a box of stuff to Summer at Superfast.

When I got home, I started a load of laundry since I was out of socks. Then I bounced around a bit before taking a shower. I needed to email the lawyer, find a job, and apply for a home loan. All of this was terrible timing. Summer had a follow-up appointment at Millard Henry, so she picked me up for that and we arrived a bit late. Her blood pressure was high again, but the doctor didn’t seem concerned, or helpful.

After that, we stopped by Arvest to see if Aaron or Melissa were there so we could talk about getting a home loan. I didn’t even see Aaron when we walked in, but then another girl pointed him out to me. He came out to see Summer’s Model Y, and then we traded phone numbers for the first time ever in our years of friendship, so he could pass it along to Melissa, their loan officer and Josh’s aunt.

From there, we went by Centennial to see what they might have to say. Their loan officer was in another office, so we left my phone number and then ran back across town so I could pick up a magnet print from Walgreens. As we got there, I got a call from Melissa with some reasonably helpful information. I still don’t know if we can get the loan while I’m looking for work, but at least we know what to do to get started. While I was on the phone with her, Haley from Centennial tried to call me. I ran in for my photo, and then called her back as we ran through Rose Drug for Summer’s medication. That call was a lot shorter and not as helpful, but at least we have a direction.

Our next stop was Walmart for some groceries. Summer wanted to make a shrimp and broccoli Alfredo for dinner. I suggested going a step further with some tomatoes and spinach, so at that point I was in charge of dinner. We got in and out reasonably quickly, and then I started cooking when we got to the house. Autumn was outside cursing at the lawn mower because Eaddie left it in the rain and it got water in the system. She eventually got most of the front lawn mowed though, and then showered and immediately left for her grandparents’ house.

The remaining three of us enjoyed a disappointingly soupy dinner, and then Summer and I watched the new John Mulaney special on Netflix. Eaddie went to her room early for the night, and we never saw her again. After the comedy special, Summer went to bed and I laid with her briefly before getting up to wrap up my own chores.

Tomorrow’s goal: Finish any task.

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All Eggs; No Basket

I woke up to a rejection email this morning, which stressed me out a bit. He did at least have some kind words for me, so maybe something will work out in the future. After that, I had a bit of a slow start. I wanted to do something productive, so I cleaned the kitchen and then started looking for more jobs. I got a response from an application I submitted yesterday, but that job would require a commute to Maumelle every day.

I eventually made it home to shower and apply for a few more jobs. Then I headed back up to Summer’s once she was on the way home. Joe called while I was driving, and asked me to support Donna in her bid for school board. Maybe I have Jason all wrong, but he’s always been nice to me as a total stranger. I appreciated Joe’s call, but I still find it odd to have people ringing my doorbell or calling my unpublished phone number.

Summer ended up going to the gym, so I got the ham and some rolls out for a snack-like dinner. It looked like the girls went out to eat right after school, so I didn’t concern myself with them. Eaddie came out of her room and we finished Breaking Bad, but then Summer came home talking loudly on speakerphone. We tried shutting her in the bedroom, but then she came back out and sat in front of the TV with us. That was even more annoying, because she hasn’t been interested in watching it with us, but she kept asking questions about what was happening. In the finale.

Everyone was off to bed by the time we finished. Eaddie tried having me fill out a form for her National History Day trip, but we decided to wait until after our meeting the very next day.

Strip the Personality

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Stalled

I couldn’t sleep after I woke up this morning, so I got out of bed once the girls were gone. I felt a little bit sick to the stomach after eating so much, and ended up taking a long bath and then showering before I left the house. I had a BOGO deal from Zaxby’s, so I took Summer some lunch to Superfast and ate with her. Then I headed home to try and be a little productive in the afternoon.

Just as I got parked at home, I got a call from another law office, which I thought was the same one I talked to yesterday. I could have been mistaken, so I ran inside to gather my documents and relay my story once more. After hitting the high points, the lady said I would either get a call back, or a letter letting me know they wouldn’t be able to take my case. I’d sure prefer a phone call, since this was kind of my preferred firm.

After that, I applied for one job and started the application process for another. I chatted with Gary briefly about how Two Rivers was going through Technology Coordinators faster than we were going through Superintendents, and he suggested that we weren’t going through them fast enough. I don’t know if it’s a bad environment, or just not worth the drive, but at this point I can’t be too choosey.

The afternoon ran out much faster than I expected, and I still wanted to run by my parents’ house to talk to them about buying a house. They had surprisingly little to say about it, so hopefully I estimated my numbers well enough to accurately reflect what we can afford.

Finally I made it up to Summer’s for the evening with some tacos. She was frustrated with work, which didn’t make any part of our current situation any easier. Eaddie came out to eat, and then we watched an episode of Breaking Bad as Summer went to bed. We left with two more episodes to go, and I spent the rest of the night fighting an aging laptop.

Lamentations

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Blues and Browns

Summer was at the high school for Quiz Bowl all day long, so I spent the entire day by myself. I cleaned up some taco stuff in the fridge, and eventually Eaddie came home long enough to shower, but then she wanted me to take her to the high school to meet up with some robotics kids. She ended up running around with them the entire day, so I just went to my house and wallowed around.

Mom wanted to go out to eat tonight for my birthday, but Summer didn’t finish until after six. I met her at the gas station to fill up, and then we met my parents at Brown’s. I didn’t eat as much as I might’ve in the past, but by the time we got back home, I still felt miserable.

Summer went to bed, and Eaddie eventually showed up and talked about her day. Then we finished an episode of Breaking Bad before we went to bed as well.

Sure, just wine about it.