Tag: depression

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Bummerial Day Weekend

I forgot to disable my alarm for the morning, so I was a little startled by that, but I didn’t want to sleep too late anyway. Summer was feeling much worse again and wanted to go to the urgent care clinic. We drove downtown but ended up turning around so I could just give her some medicine at home. I loaded her up on DayQuil and vitamins, and warmed up some chicken strips, mashed potatoes, and gravy for lunch. Then I made her sit outside in the sun for a little bit instead of being cooped up inside all weekend.

We didn’t really do anything else all day. I took a shower and picked up a couple pizzas for an early dinner, and then we watched The Wolverine, or as I called it, “Wolverine Goes to Japan.” The whole movie felt kind of meaningless to me.

Eaddie eventually came home and brought Eli over for the evening. They sat in the dining room and made Lego flowers and crochet for a while. I wanted to get outside for a bit, but it just didn’t happen.

What a depressing weekend.

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Trapped Beef

I tried to get up at a reasonable time this morning and made coffee for Summer and myself. She hadn’t fully disassembled the steam wand previously, so it was clogged and had to be cleaned. Irritations kept compounding, and I eventually found myself hiding in my office all day. I did come out to fry some rice and egg for lunch, and cleaned up the brats along with that. Summer didn’t feel well all day, and slept on the couch for some of the afternoon.

I cleaned the ceiling in the shower and then milled around the house for a while. I eventually left and picked up some dinner for us both at Arby’s. Eaddie decided to stay in Clarksville for one more night, so Summer and I settled in and watched X-Men: First Class. Then she went to sleep.

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X-Day

Summer had to work this morning. I tried not to sleep too late, but Eaddie beat me to the shower. Then she disappeared to go to a friend’s party while I was in the shower. Summer came home excited about getting full self driving in her car, and wanted to go out to eat. The driving really had improved and seemed more assertive when taking off, and less afraid of cars crossing the street or turning in front of you.

We went to Mulan’s for lunch and then walked through the Lowe’s garden center, completely forgetting that I had reserved a free flower for Mother’s Day. We wanted to go grocery shopping to get steaks and potatoes for the family, but Summer started to feel a little sick and we ended up going straight home.

She had been talking about watching the X-Men movies after Mom watched the Wolverine origin movie the other day, so we watched the very first movie. Then I made her go out and mow as it started to get dark, and I cleaned up the kitchen in preparation for company.

Eaddie got home really late, so she’ll be spending all Sunday cleaning her room. That means I’ll have to sneak into the laundry room if I want to wash any of my own clothes. Today was a relative bust as far as I was concerned, and afternoon coffee had me up into the wee hours just doing nothing.

Stupid thermostat.

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Blessed Graduates

I had a rough start this morning, but I knew I’d be working late and didn’t have a problem showing up late in the morning. Kim was away chaperoning a trip to Magic Springs, and Denice had people in the back office for meetings the entire day, so I was left to my own devices. It was nice, lonely, productive, and stressful all at the same time. I spent most of the morning tinkering with the sound system in the gym. I got it to sound pretty decent, but I still think it was hooked up incorrectly.

My daily schedule was a bit messed up, so lunch came and went, and the day was over before I knew it. The leftovers I brought for lunch had gone bad, so I went to the workroom with the hope that there would be some barbecue left. All that was there were lemon bars, so I took a couple of those and grabbed some “puppy chow” that I found in the front office.

As I got hungry, I remembered that I had a package of ramen and Kim had brought me some fresh eggs, so I boiled some water in the kettle and dressed that up the best I could. It was actually pretty good. Graduation went without a hitch as far as I could tell, and I was surprised to hear a student lead an unmistakable prayer, “amen” and all, at the start of it.

I ended up leaving with everyone else because I got into a project I had been working on. Traffic was stupidly slow on the way home, but it was just a couple people driving well under the speed limit. When I got into town, I got some gas and fed the fish. Then I stopped by Sonic for some cheese sticks. Their speaker box didn’t work though, and they didn’t have a sign up, so I sat there for a while looking like an idiot before I pulled up to the window.

When I got home, Eaddie and I went outside to try and see the northern lights, but we didn’t have any luck. Summer was fast asleep so she could go to work in the morning, so I stayed up a while on the computer before bed.

Ickier every day.

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I Have Reservations

I woke up before my super early alarm this morning with a shin and calf cramp. I managed to walk to my office so I could try and book some dining for Disney, and it was surprisingly a cinch in spite of the fear Julie had instilled in us. All day, there were still reservations available everywhere. While I was confirming all of that, I called a couple different numbers to find someone that could fix Eaddie’s age in the app, so hopefully that experience will work correctly now.

It’s been hard getting into anything too serious since I feel like I won’t be sticking around long. I still haven’t heard anything from Harry or Blake, even to say they don’t want to meet with me. Maybe they’re just both busy, or maybe they’ve just already made up their minds. Maybe I have too.

My parents wanted me to meet them at Georgia Carpet Mills to pick out some flooring for the old house after work, so I did that and then went to feed the fish before going to Little Caesar’s to pick up dinner for the kids. I had placed my order an hour and a half in advance, but still had to wait for over 20 minutes for them to make and bake my order. I haggled the girl for some dipping sauce, and she kind of gave me side-eye, but I wasn’t having any sass after their miserable operation. I still want to open a store next door called Big Brutus.

Eaddie had a house full of teenagers by the time I got home, and Summer was busy with work calls for a little while. My parents stopped by to eat too, and then Mom sat down on the couch and watched the entirety of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. It was a little warm in the house with so many people there, so Summer and I sat outside for a little bit to cool off after my parents left. I felt sleepy all night, but didn’t really want to go to sleep with everyone still there. The lack of sleep from the night before has made the day a struggle though.

Great, now I don’t know where anything is.

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Life Auditor

Traffic was super bad in Dardanelle this morning, but luckily I was early enough to peel out of line and duck into Burger King for a biscuit. Denice had visitors in her office for nearly the entire day, and Kim was in and out between personal calls as usual. It’s burnout city there this week.

I ended up staying late because the auditor needed some help in the front office, and evidently she was just continuing to work past everyone else leaving. I don’t even understand why she had to be on-site if it didn’t matter whether anyone else was there. She got super chatty, and apparently had to look me up after I had talked to her weeks ago because her son knew Julie back in school. She was nice, but didn’t seem to fully grasp all of the bureaucratic crap she was there to do. After I gave her any and all insight I had to offer, she started telling me her life story.

I finally made it home about an hour late, fed the fish, loaded up a few things, and found Summer at home grilling brats for dinner. We ate our really good, no-frills dinner, and then I sat on the couch and watched YouTube with Summer for a while before everyone was off to bed.

Gary, Gary, Ben, and Terry

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I Need a Vacation

I had to go in early again today for testing, though nobody needed me. It was super slow and quiet, aside from Kim. I’ve been feeling the burnout as time runs out to sign next year’s contract, but it looks like Green Bay is hiring for a different position. I don’t know if one of the others left, or if this may be a new position. I’ll need to reach out to Gary to see if he’d like to talk about it.

I left after my requisite eight hours and made it to the old house to feed the fish. Then I got home and Eaddie was getting ready for some band concert that I guess wasn’t open to the public, or at least we weren’t attending. I changed clothes so I could go out on the Onewheel for the first time since my big wreck. It was much more difficult to accelerate since I was still feeling so much pain in my arm. I was constantly afraid of nosediving.

My only plan was to go to Arby’s for a free sandwich, but I stopped by my parents’ house to visit with them first. Julie and Kevin were there for dinner, and I had a little bowl of some sort of taco cornbread casserole that Dad made. I stayed a while just to visit since Julie was there, but then she started talking about a show on Netflix, and Dad mentioned having trouble watching it on the TV. For some reason, Julie was immediately triggered and started yelling at me progressively louder about sponging off of them and letting them pay for a service that they “couldn’t even use” until I finally snapped back at her. Every single person there just sat in silence while she continued to berate me for being a worthless parasite, so I just left.

I slowly rode across town and had to stop behind the forestry service to sob on a park bench for a little while. I only fell down in the street once along the way, at a super slow speed on a super small bump. My wheel just spun up and spat me out, so I laid in the middle of the intersection in defeat.

After pulling myself together downtown, I continued to Arby’s the long way, because I was pretty sure every law enforcement officer in the county was blocking off Detroit under the bridge. I never could see what was going on, but they were there the entire time I rode across town, ate a roast beef sandwich, and rode back home.

Summer made it home after a rough day of her own, and went to bed. Eaddie got home late from her concert and went to bed. I took some blood pressure medicine, and went to bed.

I change my mind. I’d rather plan a vacation.

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Twelve Mile Island

I woke up with a bit of a headache and made some coffee this morning. Summer got started on her taxes and was in the living room all morning. I put on some old Disney tunes and took a shower, and then made tuna pitas for everyone.

Summer wanted to clean house without us around, but most of the afternoon was burned doing nothing. I eventually left on the Onewheel and rode to the old house to box up some more small stuff. By the time I was done, it was late and dark. I rode over to Arby’s for something to eat, and then lollygagged through down on the way home. I picked up a Snapple at Casey’s and stopped to take a couple pictures at the new co-create place, the middle school, and the Waco Detention Basin.

I stopped by to see my parents briefly, and Dad was outside looking at the moon while Mom dehydrated shrimp inside. Then I circled the neighborhood a couple times before finally landing at home for the night.

I have scaled these city walls.

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AppLocked

I was actually early for work this morning, and I got my steak bagel that reminded me of the gristly mess that they used to give me. I spent the whole day tinkering with my Group Policy and task sequence to restrict Microsoft apps without causing annoying messages about things being blocked.

Lunch was a pretty miserable sandwich with two thin slices of lunch meat ham on a big wheat bun. The afternoon dragged on forever after that, even though Kim disappeared for most of it. On the way out, I loaded up some empty boxes to help move, and headed to the old house.

There was a ton of traffic crawling over the bridge, stretching from toplight to stoplight. I couldn’t tell whether something happened or if traffic was just that bad due to the eclipse. As I got closer to the old house, some old lady got cut off while she was flying down the road the other direction, and she nearly hit me when she tried to pass the offending car in the turning lane. I unloaded boxes and headed home to wait for Summer.

It took her a while, but she eventually showed up and took me to the Neighborhood Market for some things. We didn’t really have a clear plan for anything, but we spent some money. When we got home, I left for my parents’ house on the Onewheel and finished up the chow mein.

I called Mitch on the ride home just to check on his status. He said he probably wouldn’t be coming past Little Rock. Things were quiet when I got home, and everyone just kind of dawdled alone until we eventually all made it to bed.

Crap. Tax season.

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How Now Brown’s Cow

Summer went to work for a bit this morning, and I did my best not to sleep all day after not making it to bed until three. After she got back, we went to Brown’s for a late lunch, and had some great catfish at a surprisingly reasonable lunch price. She had a headache for most of the day, so we didn’t do anything else for the rest of the day, but sit in front of the TV.

Eaddie went out at one point to buy a new paint-by-number, but otherwise we all just lounged all day. I caught up on Jon Stewart’s Daily Show episodes, and then Eaddie and I watched about three more episodes of Better Call Saul while she painted, and then everyone went to bed.

How cudly.