Tag: depression

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Heavy Stuff

Muad’Dib ended up staying inside again last night, and he tore up some stuff in the living room. I stepped on a wet spot, but it turned out to be a cup of water someone left in the sunroom. One of the stuffed cows lost an eye, and he completely destroyed the 3D-printed heart gears that I had made. Other than that, it was just some packing material I had saved.

I was a little worried I was going to be late to work, but I had a tailwind and got there just a little after seven. It wasn’t very long before we had to run to the high school because FedEx showed up unannounced to deliver three big, heavy pallets of Chromebooks. Jim took Randy and me over to help move them, but we really didn’t need to be there. The truck driver fussed about making it to the loading dock, and showed up with a bit of an attitude after Maggie had called his supervisor. He did fine, so I don’t know what all of that was about.

I met with Randy and Kyle a little later in the afternoon to talk about some of the new cybersecurity guidelines we have to follow. We had a Tacos 4 Life bar from Genesis for lunch, and it was cool that they actually had the chafing dishes to keep the food warm. After that, they sent everyone home due to some incoming storms.

Randy let me go particularly early since storms were coming from my direction. It never really got bad for us though. It rained heavily for a bit, and we had some thunder and lightning. I hurriedly ran with Muad’Dib just as it started to sprinkle. We saw Dad briefly and then made it home. Summer was there and we went to the Neighborhood Market to pick up a couple things for dinner.

Eaddie got home just as we did, and we went outside to play with Muad’Dib for a bit and listen to the rain. Eaddie had a band thing scheduled, so I drove her to Tech only to find that it had been cancelled because they had no power. We had a good chat during the drive though, and it makes me so happy to hear how emotionally intelligent and smart she is.

When we got back, I sat by the tub with Summer so we could talk for a while. Then she got up and fried some potatoes and onions while I got the grill going with some premade burger patties and corn. It was a good, quick dinner and Muad’Dib sat under the table so calmly to accept scraps. Then everyone went to bed pretty quickly after that.

Naders are comin’!

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What Is

I got very little sleep last night, but made it to work at a “normally” late time. It was not a day for accomplishments. I went to McDonald’s with Randy for some breakfast and had a steak, egg, and cheese bagel. That got me through to a late lunch with him and Jim at Louisiana Famous Fried Chicken just up the road. They liked their food pretty well, but my jambalaya was poured over rice that simply wasn’t cooked.

I guess the afternoon went by pretty quickly. I charged a little extra last night so I wouldn’t have to stop on the way home now that my free Supercharging is expired. I took Muad’Dib out for a run and did two laps of our usual course while I took a phone call

Completely out of the blue, Shawna sent me a friend request over the weekend, so I entertained her message, fully expecting to be phished or scammed in some way. To my absolute surprise, it really was her, so we had been catching up since Sunday. I think in hindsight, that conversation went fairly predictably. Then, again by chance, I got a call from Johnny and I talked to him for a bit as we made our way to my parents’ house to see Dad, who had gone out for a flight with Julie since she earned her next step in her licensure.

We made it home for the night and I brushed him out. I desperately wanted to take him for a bath so he could stay inside for the night, but we dawdled too long and didn’t make it. I threw myself a pity party and reminisced as I gathered myself for bed.

What Should Never Be

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Curb Your Enthusiasm

I was super late for work today because somebody went off the road just after Menifee. We were dead-stopped for several minutes, and as I finally approached the scene of the accident, there was dirt all over the road. I was so late that I decided to stop in Conway to charge back up to 80% so I wouldn’t be stuck doing it after work, and could drive straight home. Traffic was stop-and-go after Conway too, so I was just over an hour late in total.

There wasn’t much going on in the office. I mostly fought Jim’s laptop that wouldn’t image, and I figured it was a drive failure since I could image anything else. There was still some leftover Corky’s “BBQ” in the fridge, so I eventually just ate a bunch of that at my desk for lunch.

It was rainy all day, but mostly dry by quitting time. I worked a little bit late to make up for being late, and then made it home to run the dogs. I thought they had gone missing earlier in the day, but Summer said they were still in the yard. Normally they come running when they hear me on the cameras, but not so this afternoon. They had a good run with me though. I was a little worried about Muad’Dib because he hadn’t eaten the last three or so meals Summer had given him. He didn’t care for his little bone treats either. He still pooped a little, and he didn’t have a problem with his hot dog, so I messed with his new slow feeder. I think he may have been bothered by the raised portions, because once I lowered them and made it easier for him to eat, he finished his whole bowl.

The girls made tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches, but I wasn’t very hungry and just skipped it entirely. I felt a bit bothered most of the evening, so it was a quiet night until bedtime.

All Filler

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Division of Duties

It rained all day today, and the latest version of FSD won’t let me just step on the accelerator for an unlimited amount of time any more to keep it moving along at higher speeds. That meant I had to drive for a few miles until things got a little less foggy and misty. I was a little bit late, but Randy was still at the conference and Kyle didn’t come by the office in the morning.

Jim and Jay came in and were going to help me hang a TV, but Jim ended up having to pick up Maggie because she was dropping her husband’s truck off for a tint job. Jay and I got the old TV down, but the screws for the new TV were too big to fit into the holes on the old mount, so we were stuck again. I don’t know why the whole move has been such a priority, but the secretary called Maggie again to check on a timeline, and we were later asked to write up a statement about the whole ordeal.

I met Kyle at David’s Burgers for lunch in the rain, and they were pretty good but slow for how many people were in the kitchen. I don’t love their fries, but I love that they’re unlimited if you can ever catch someone with a fresh bowl. I do like the seasoning on their burgers, but every time I ask for “all of the extras” they just give me the typical burger build instead of the jalapeños, grilled onions, and everything else.

The afternoon dragged on a bit. Randy showed up after the conference and we all caught up. I had been bouncing between tasks all day, but my biggest accomplishment was shrinking my SQL database so the drive would no longer be completely full.

I had to stop and charge on the way home due to the rain, but I ended up getting a leg cramp and wanted to get out to stretch anyway. Luckily it wasn’t raining and I paced the parking lot for a bit, then got back in and made it home. Summer had dinner ready and we ate some kind of weird orange glazed hamburger meat and green beans over rice. It was sort of “Hamburger Helper Meets the Far East.” It was alright, but I think it would have been far better on chicken.

Eaddie was helping at a swim meet, so the two of us just had dinner and a calm evening together since she wasn’t stressed from work and I didn’t run the dogs in the wet. Then it was a slightly earlier night to bed.

Who’s responsible for this???

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Don’t Break Anything

I got out a little earlier today and had a slower drive in to work to save some battery power. I could have made it home on the charge, but I still ended up supercharging on the way home anyway.

Randy was out at a conference, so it was just Maggie and me all day. She was in better spirits after her friend passed yesterday. Randy emailed us some things to do, but it seemed like those weren’t entirely our job to do. It’s confusing what we’re actually responsible for because the district is so overstaffed. We personally handled much more at both of my previous districts. On top of that, people kept knocking at the door all day, pulling me away from whatever I was avoiding.

I actually didn’t even take a lunch, but Maggie made me eat her leftovers. I can never tell if she’s just worried about me being hungry or if she’s just genuinely not hungry enough to finish her food. It’s a pretty regular occurrence for her to have leftovers, so I try not to feel guilty about eating stuff she gives me. I thought I’d leave a little early because I never left, but I only got out about ten minutes early.

I stopped in Conway to charge a bit just so I wouldn’t have to shuffle cars late at night. Then I got home and ran the dogs to the Ridgewood Brothers to see if I could catch Robert. I actually saw Grant, and he seemed to be doing a little bit better. I think their whole situation has probably just gotten to the point where you throw up and then start to feel a little bit better.

We got rained on a bit as we made our way back across town. Just as it started to sprinkle, we encountered Hannah driving the opposite direction. She stopped to chat and we caught up for a little bit before we continued on to my parents’ house. By then it had started to rain pretty hard, so my leg was soaked by the time we got home. The dogs were good though, so they got hot dogs before dinner.

Someone had brought a bunch of Vine packages in for me, so I sorted all of that before Summer got home. The morning went by fast, the afternoon went by slowly, and then the evening flew by. Summer had a bad day at work, and I think we’re both feeling pretty unsatisfied in general. We chatted for a bit before she went to bed. Eaddie got home late and went straight to her room, and then I crashed as quickly as I could.

You broke it.

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Bummers

Traffic was pretty bad on the way in this morning, but I got there. Randy was early again, and we all sat and chatted for a while in the morning. Maggie was stressing out due to something happening with a friend or family, so she ended up taking the afternoon off. I tried to help Jim with some stuff over the phone and was mostly successful, and Randy was in his executive team meeting all morning.

Lunch came a little late, and I met Kyle, Jim, Randy, and Jay at Brewski’s for their version of Taco Tuesday. I remembered thinking their burger was okay last time, but it was still bar food. I was even less impressed with their tacos, so I’ll never order those again. Everything was incredibly dry. Even the limes fell apart into pulp when we squeezed them. I actually ended up stopping at McDonald’s on the way back to get some fries, which were actually pretty good since I went to the one on McCain this time.

Sometime in the afternoon, Greg stopped by our office and for some reason wanted a tour of our shop area. I had a feeling someone put him up to it, but eventually Randy came back inside and said I couldn’t charge my car in there any more. That’s a pretty big bummer, especially in the winter, and it may be the straw that prompted the camel to update his resumé. It’s all about minimizing my time away from home, and if a few pennies worth of electricity is going to keep me away any longer, then it’s just not going to be sustainable for me.

I got home without any trouble and took the dogs out for a run. They weren’t great, so they didn’t get any treats when we got home, and I cut down their dinner a little as well. Muad’Dib hadn’t been eating some of his meals anyway.

I took care of some large Vine stuff before Summer got home, and she didn’t have a great day at work either. Then I had to fire off a message to the clinic because I was completely out of amlodipine for the next morning. Luckily they phoned it in to Walgreens and I was able to pick it up just a few minutes before they closed.

After I got back home, Dad said Uncle Tuan wasn’t doing great, so it looks like we’ll be going to visit. I don’t really know what happened to him for the past several years, but I know I’ll have a very different memory of him than what we’ll find, and he likely won’t remember me at all.

No Win Tuesday

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Long Day for What

I remember waking up frequently after a whole lot of dreams, but I couldn’t remember anything about them. I finally got out of bed around eight, long before anyone else. I tinkered with the Vine Helper notifications a bit, and then had a bit of anxiety as the item drops started flowing. I got meds sorted for the week and the girls got up and around. Summer went to the gym for a while, and Eaddie hid in her room all day.

I took a shower and then took the dogs out for a really early run, which was good because it started to rain after that. Summer said she wanted a steak and baked potato for dinner, but then didn’t press it when it started to rain. I ended up going out to pick up some Panda Express instead, since I had a BOGO coupon, and then we watched The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent with some popcorn. I actually thought it was a pretty fun movie, and it was great to see Nick Cage back – not that he went anywhere.

Nothing.

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Hauliday

I got to work on time, but I didn’t see anyone for a while. Evidently several of them had met at the annex to move some stuff, and it wasn’t until Randy called that I went outside to help unload into the new shop. For the rest of the day, I rode around with Jim and Randy as we collected a couple more loads of stuff.

Randy had been wanting catfish from BJ’s for a couple days, so that’s where we went for lunch. Javier met us there, and we had a good time learning how little he knows about history and historical figures.

We kept moving stuff, and then most of us stood around in the shop just to socialize a bit before we went inside. Maggie took the afternoon off, so it was mostly just Randy and me sitting in the dark until quitting time. Javier did stop by a couple times, but nobody was really getting into anything.

It sprinkled a bit on the way home, but luckily it had quit by the time I got there. I took the dogs out for a good run, we met Dad, and then zig-zagged home. Summer had to close the shop, and Eaddie was out late before her all-region weekend.

The dogs were about out of food, so I eventually made a trip to the Neighborhood Market for several things we had been needing. I got pretty sleepy on the drive home from work, and that just got worse and worse all night until I finally went to bed.

Be no more there.

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Dishpite

Summer said last night that Eaddie wanted to go to Conway with her today to shop for some pants, but Eaddie was still in bed when I woke up. She didn’t get up for a while, but was disappointed when Summer didn’t wake her. I figured it was because I expressed frustration that Eaddie never wants to shop for things when I tell her they’re on sale, but I still expected them to go.

I spent a while cleaning up the kitchen, frustrated that the girls were seemingly making as big of a mess as possible on purpose. With very little thought, all of the dirty dishes could be stacked neatly and cleanly to the left of the sink, but instead they had dirty dishes on every single flat surface in the kitchen and dining area. Summer fessed up to doing it out of her own frustration and spite, which just upset me further because they’re always calling me the mean one.

The girls ended up going out to shop locally, so I cleaned up and took the dogs for a run, which soaked my legs in sandy slush again. I either need to get myself a fender for the Onewheel, or tell Summer exactly which one I want so she can gift it to me, since she’s so adamant about wanting to gift things. It was a relatively short walk, though, and we cut through the basin trail where there were still a bunch of kids playing in the show in the distant field. We visited with Dad briefly before making it home, and Stilgar just kept wanting to go back out and play in the snow. I guess he had already trampled most of it in the backyard, and he still wanted to play in the fluff.

I cleaned up a bit and tinkered with some things around the house. The girls got home and did some laundry, and I was eventually hungry for dinner by myself since they had a late lunch together when they went shopping. I ended up driving around a little bit because I couldn’t decide on what to eat. Taco Villa was closed, so I ended up at Wendy’s. The service wasn’t great, but the food was all actually really good. I guess that’s what really mattered in the end.

Everyone wound down pretty quickly, and I tried not to mess up my sleep schedule too much. Eaddie has school tomorrow, but North Little Rock will be closed again. Essential staff are expected to work after a late start, but Summer and I both have doctor appointments tomorrow morning. I hate missing a short day, but whaddya do?

Tax Man Cometh

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Thornsday Cleanout

I was jarred awake this morning when Maggie called around eight to ask if I was coming in to work. Maybe she was worried, because I’m always there around seven, but I told them I wasn’t going back for just two days this week. I got out of bed then, since Summer had to go to work anyway. Even Eaddie got up and took a shower, but then she left with friends. I warmed up a plate of some hot turkey, twice-baked potato, and sour dressing instead of going out to eat like I had imagined all night long.

I felt pretty bad all day, and started to fall asleep in the afternoon, but made myself take a shower and take the dogs out for a long run. We caught my parents just as they got back from somewhere, and then we came home so I could clean up the kitchen.

I had spent all day in my head, mad and frustrated with the girls and our living situation, and their habits around the house. I was glad to have the kitchen finished when Summer got home, but she reeked of gasoline. Eaddie got home and mostly stayed in her room as usual, and I dawdled a while longer before making it to bed. My nerves and anxiety were shot.

Ya hya chouhada!