Tag: depression

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Plan Bi-tec

Summer’s oncologist appointment was pushed back, but I kept today off for a tele-interview with the guys at Bitec. It was pretty quiet, because Eaddie left in the morning to go shopping with Eli. I had slept fairly late, so I didn’t have a whole ton of time to kill. I ate some chicken tacos for brunch and neither of the girls wanted to eat anything during the day.

I eventually had a shower and got dressed up for an interview in the dining room. They acted like they remembered me, and said they would probably have me for another in-person interview later on. It sounded like business was booming over the past year, so they had slightly different needs, but it didn’t sound like anything I couldn’t handle.

Eaddie and Eli came over as soon as I finished the interview, and wanted to hook up Guitar Hero. I got the PlayStation hooked up in the sunroom, but we couldn’t get any of the guitars to pair. I finally got one Rock Band guitar working, so Eli tried to calibrate the audio and video for the next couple hours. Eaddie got bored and left us to lay in bed for a while.

I took out a ton of recycling and eventually took Muad’Dib out for a run just as Summer got home. Then we finished up the chicken taco stuff by turning it into pulled barbecue sandwiches. I made actual slaw out of the mix we had, and they turned out pretty good. I was just happy to get it out of the fridge.

The girls ended the night watching gymnastics, and I just quietly went back to my office. Randy and I will be going to visit the Vilonia School District in the morning, so we made plans for breakfast in Conway first.

Good dog.

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Put the Past Away

DNS didn’t actually scavenge anything because it only triggered the aging, so we won’t know for a couple weeks if it actually worked. I guess that’s fine, since graduation was tonight and we won’t have people on site for it to matter. I got back into SCCM to try and clean up the stuck update, and found the right combination and order of commands to fix it, so I was able to re-run the newest update.

Summer was in Little Rock for her own meeting, so we met at Red Lobster for unlimited soup and salad. Just as I parked, I got a call from Bitec to schedule a Teams interview. We ate, and then she came back to the office with me to do some work until her surgery consultation. I guess Randy was in a bad mood, because he kind of flipped out at me when I said I invited her in, but he mellowed out pretty quickly.

Just before the appointment, Summer headed out to find her appointment, but she didn’t actually know where she was going. She got to the address she had in the calendar entry and discovered for the first time that it was just a residential home, and called me crying that she didn’t know where to go. I had already left too, but pulled over at Franklin’s to talk to her. I just told her to call the doctor and see if she could find who they referred her to, since she didn’t even have the business name.

After some Googling and a bit of guesswork, she ended up getting a call from the CARTI Cancer Center, asking if she was going to make her appointment. They guided her in and I met her there after I went to the Baptist Health Breast Center by mistake. We went in for the consult and scheduled an appointment to remove the atypical cellular mass, so that was pretty good news. It didn’t feel like either of us were hugely relieved, but that was probably due to the continued confusion and frustration over the process up to this point.

We finally headed to Conway to Supercharge, and went in to Five Guys to share some fries. She wasn’t hungry, but I decided to try a hot dog that was pretty okay. I still think they’re hugely overpriced, but the location was right. Then we headed home.

As I got to the Pottsville offramp, there was an overturned semi blocking the entire right lane from the westbound onramp. The car in front of me made a full stop before finally pulling over, and it looked to have just happened because someone else had pulled over and was running up to the windshield to check on the driver. There were enough people pulled over that I knew I couldn’t provide any additional help, so I got out of the way.

When I got home, the kids were assembling the headboard I got for Eaddie. I took Muad’Dib out for his first run in a few days, which he enjoyed. We visited Dad, and then I left him outside when we got home, since he took a bath in the creek. I took care of a few Vine things, had an anxiety attack, and then laid down with Summer for a bit before I had to get up and complete my tasks before bed.

You don’t have to say it again. I heard it the first time.

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Rollin’ in the Deep

Muad’Dib slept well with us last night, and I think Eaddie even let him into her room for a bit. More than once, I lied quietly awake while he and Summer snored. When morning came, she got up and made what amounted to a pot of bacon-fried rice and eggs. I wished she had just done what I told her and used Ro-tel, so it would have been a little lighter than what she made by toasting sesame seeds and onions in sesame oil in addition to the existing bacon grease.

Eaddie left pretty early to spend the day in Maumelle with Eli’s family. Summer went to work and then to the gym for a while. I cleaned up a bit at home before Summer got back and finished her cake. Then we gave Muad’Dib another bath, hoping I could take him to my parents’ house with less protest.

He took his bath reasonably well, but it’s proven nearly impossible to stop him from shaking water everywhere once he gets out of the tub. I took him outside to blow-brush dry, and then I brought him inside to vacuum out some more hair.

As the evening approached, Summer thought we could walk him between the raindrops. I wasn’t convinced it wouldn’t rain harder, so I let her walk him to my parents’ house, and I drove the cake over. Just after I got there, she said she needed a poop bag, so I dropped off the cake and went back to scoop the poop, It wasn’t until I got back to my parents’ house that I realized the cake leaked fruit goop all over her passenger seat. There was a pool of it all along the rear seam of the seat, and all I could do was hope that it didn’t seep further into the cushion.

Mom refused to let Muad’Dib in the house, so we let him sit out back while we ate rolls. Afterward, we had Summer’s incredibly dense cake, and her decision not to use powdered sugar in the buttercream icing made it crunchy in a bad way.

We drove home for the evening and I finally got Muad’Dib to eat some of his own food that he’d been turning his nose up all weekend. The kids got home late and hung out for a while, and I tried to go to bed early.

Stability in Misery

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Slippery When Whet

I was up several times last night, either on my own, or with Muad’Dib. He did pretty well to sleep with us all night, and I felt better confining him to the bedroom. I wish Eaddie had left her room open so he could go in there with her, because otherwise I could remove the baby gate and just keep him in our bedroom alone.

We got up late and Summer made some breakfast for us while Eaddie left for church. We had a pretty quiet morning until she got back, and then Summer left for the gym. It eventually started raining and did that for most of the afternoon, but I got some laundry done and then we took a trip out in it to get some groceries for dinner.

Eaddie brought Eli and Cecilia over for dinner, and I grilled some pork steaks and burgers while Summer made rice, sweet potato, and a cake that didn’t quite get finished before the end of the night.

Smooth

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Runny Eggs and Fuzzy Pizza

I got up early so I could go to the run with Summer and Eaddie, but it was a bit stormy with some rain, so I let them go by themselves and just stayed home instead. When they got back with Eli, we all went to Stoby’s for breakfast. They were packed in spite of the rain, so we had to wait a bit, and then also had to wait a while for our food once we had ordered. The service was fine, but the kitchen was so slow that she actually had one of our meals refunded without us saying anything.

After breakfast, we headed back home while Summer went to work for a bit. Eaddie asked if they could give Muad’Dib a bath, and that turned into me giving Muad’Dib a bath. He did fairly well, though they did miss their biggest opportunity to throw a towel on him before he shook water all over her bathroom. I brushed him out, then used the blow dryer brush on him, which he didn’t love. The kids ended up leaving, and then I got out the vacuum attached fur brush, and he surprisingly didn’t mind that at all. I pulled two canisters of hair off of him and then put up a baby gate in the hallway in case he stayed in overnight.

I ended up putting on some music and taking a bath after that, until Summer got home from work. We had a moment to talk and tried to work through some things before the kids made it back along with Cecilia. They wanted to have a game night, so we played some Uno for a bit. Summer ordered some Domino’s which Neal delivered. Then the kids watched TV while Summer and I started wrapping up our evening.

No surprises.

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Double Dog Dare

Summer texted when I got to work that Muad’Dib walked over the fallen fence to play with Nova nextdoor. The neighbor called someone to come quote a repair, but he was cool with the dogs playing together, and Summer said they were having a great time, so I didn’t sweat it. Then Johnny called and said Bitec had an “urgent” listing for the job I had previously interviewed for, so I replied back to an old email and then did a quick refresh on my résumé before applying through Indeed.

The rest of the morning was spent going through DNS again in preparation for turning on scavenging in the afternoon. Otherwise it was pretty quiet. Howard bought us pizza for a vendor call, and we sat through a presentation by Decept10 before the U.S. Pizza Co. arrived. I had another anxiety attack at some point, and then the rest of the afternoon was relatively lazy and short.

Randy said we could leave just a hair early for our three-day weekend, so I headed out and grabbed a bottle of rum in Morrilton. I opened a bunch of packages from Vine when I got home before Summer. She didn’t feel well when she got there, so she took a bath while I ran Muad’Dib. We took an extended run to Ridgewood where we met a new girl named Cindy who talked to me for a bit about riding her Onewheel on trails. Then we continued to Casey’s to try for a slush, but the machine was out. On the way out, a kid that had asked to pet Muad’Dib asked if he could try the board, so I helped him out. Then we rode back across town.

Dad met us in the road, and then I went in to eat some roast beef while he played with Muad’Dib. Then we got home just after dark. The kids had left for something, and Summer was laying on the couch half dead. I put her to bed, and quickly wound down.

I hate this so much.

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Nothing’s Permanent

I had a pretty lucid morning. I dug into DNS records and made note of anything that looked important that wasn’t set statically. It sounded like some of the others were helping Jim at the high school, but nobody said anything to me about it, so I just sat in the office with Jimmy all day, except for a trip to Taco Bell for a quick and cheap lunch.

The afternoon twitches showed up right on time, I had an anxiety attack, and I just got more and more tense as I made it home through slow traffic. I felt like every muscle in my body was just slowly bound.

Noah and Eli were over and Summer was making dinner. Chicken bits pan fried in some random bottle of sauce she bought, Brussels sprouts that were overspiced enough that Eli nearly choked out, and mashed sweet potato. Exactly what I envisioned.

After dinner, I took Muad’Dib out for a run and we did our best to dodge other dog walkers. The couple of dogs we couldn’t avoid weren’t too much trouble, so it was a good run. We visited Dad for some brushing, then got home and wound down.

That goes doubly for DNS records.

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No, I Know

Today was another day mostly on my own. I ended up going to Chipotle to pick up a burrito for lunch.

I got stuck in traffic on the way home because they had one lane closed around Menifee.

Dad took Muad’Dib out for a walk during the day, so I waited until the sun went down to take him for our run. I put together a laundry cart I got from Vine so I could give a larger one to Eaddie since she’s had trouble with hers spilling out all over the floor.

Eaddie had Maristella over later in the evening, so Summer was in bed by the time we got home. I wrapped up and went to sleep.

Ooh, bеt you’re thinking, “She’s so cool”

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Orbital Anomalies

I thought I’d go for a change and stop at McDonald’s in Atkins this morning, and I had a much better experience than I expected. It was a bright, anxious ride in to work just to learn that Randy was leaving at lunch. I got LAPS working on my test devices, but then struggled to choose a battle for the rest of the day.

Since I was on my own again, I just went to McDonald’s for a late lunch date with a Big Mac. It felt fittingly depressive, and then I sipped on my punch all afternoon. When I got back to the office, everyone was standing outside due to an evacuation alarm. The fire department showed up and gave the all-clear, but we never did figure out what triggered it in the first place.

I ended up working just a little bit late since I would be meeting Mitch for dinner. He said he had some extra crew in town that was going to grill at the hotel, so I figured I could grab some steaks on the way over. I stopped to charge for a few minutes outside the Baptist Health building, but it ran even slower than a regular outlet. I finally went to Walmart and picked up a couple T-bones, some chips and dips, and a couple ears of corn, and went to Mitch’s hotel to wait for him.

They ended up having outlets on the outside of the building, so I charged faster there than I did at the Baptist Health chargers. Mitch showed up, went to change, then came back down and sat in my car. Evidently he changed his mind and wanted to go out, but I misread the message and bought food. We changed plans back to grill, but then he wasn’t sure when the other guys were cooking.

We ran to a gas station so he could get some beer, then went up to his room for a bit. We talked for quite a while, and I never realized he dated Rachel seriously way back in the day. He said they broke up and she turned right around and married Jacob, who later divorced and married Sarah. It felt like the layers of the Matrix were being pulled back before my eyes. It’s all a construct.

We had finally given up on cooking and I was just going to let him keep the food and go out instead, but as soon as we pulled into the Cactus Jack’s parking lot, he got a text that they were ready to grill and we headed back again. One of the other guys had the grill going, so we let him take care of the steaks. They actually turned out perfect in spite of the trouble he had with the wind blowing out the propane. It was a decent time, though Mitch had Alyssa over and it ended up being the three of us eating alone.

I got home quickly after that, stopping in Conway to charge for just a couple minutes. I couldn’t handle much more of this tiny universe. These bodies orbit much too closely.

I have Trusty Shoes

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Block Game

I was spinning pretty hard after last night, but I got out of the house and made it to work. I thought I might grab some McDonald’s for breakfast, but ended up munching on a bag of regular Cheerios instead. It was a quiet day, but I managed to fix audio drivers for Jim between getting pulled back and forth to a few other tasks. I went to McDonald’s and had lunch by myself, then fought some anxiety the rest of the afternoon. I had an attack as well, sometime in the afternoon I think.

It barely sprinkled on the way home, but it was clear enough that I could wait until later in the evening to run Muad’Dib. It was nice and cool out, so he ran pretty well. I missed a good photo opportunity when he chased some geese into the flooded pond. We visited Dad for a brush, then got home just after Summer. It was a short night after that.

An ominous landscape of never-ending calamity.