Tag: frustration

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Pack Rat

I heard something making a racket in the kitchen this morning, and after sneaking around a bit, I discovered a small rat in the dog food bag. After that many failed attempts to get out, I thought I might be able to grab the bag and move it outside, but of course as soon as I approached, it was able to leap out without a care in the world. It scurried under the kitchen table, so it might as well be gone forever. I set a live trap with all of my remaining hopes and dreams, and a bit of peanut butter, and got ready for work.

I was running a bit late, but Maggie and the two old men were the only ones there. Nobody asked anything of me, so I quietly stared at FortiAuthenticator documentation for the entire day. I had an anxiety attack at some point, but otherwise it was uneventful. We’re officially on four ten-hour days, but that actually worked out to about nine and a half. I left briefly for some McDonald’s since nobody else wanted to do lunch.

While I was at work, I saw Summer shuttling back and forth between the house and Added Space Storage. I guess she figured that was an easy midway point between both houses. I couldn’t tell what she was moving, because none of the large, obvious things were moved out of the house. She didn’t respond to my text, so I made it home for the surprise.

The laundry room had been cleared out, which seemed like an unimportant space to me. I changed clothes and started to take Muad’Dib out for a run, but Summer asked me to sit with her. I sat in the floor and pet the dog while she finished her episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Then we left for our run. I wasn’t particularly hungry, but I needed something different, so we rode to Ridgewood Brothers to see what they had cooking.

Wouldn’t you know it was burger day, so I had another hamburger. I’m sure that it was better than my Double Quarter Pounder Delux, but I was buzzing too hard to really tell. They gave me some scrap pulled pork for Muad’Dib too, so he climbed up to sit at the picnic table with me and we had dinner together.

After dinner, we stopped in to see my parents. Dad had come over to help Summer find the dead rat in the house, which was different than the live rat I found in the morning. Summer had candles burning to cover up the smell, but I hadn’t smelled it when I left in the morning anyway. I’m sure it was a nasty discovery though.

We made it home and I took out the recycling and trash before wrapping up for the night.

I’ve got doodles I’d undo.

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Whoa Black Cherry

I was a bit in and out this morning, enjoying an upside-down dog in the bed between us, when Johnny called to check in. I got up and talked to him for a bit, and then made sausage and eggs for Summer and myself when she got around. Eaddie was slow to get up, but didn’t want any breakfast.

Summer had a couple of meetings to attend online and did some work from the couch, and I tried to clean up around the house a little bit. I don’t remember exactly what it was that had me feeling amiss, but I eventually found myself in my office writing Vine reviews to get my ratio up before the end of the month. I’ve got to get it up 20% in ten days to keep my account in good standing.

We had a few more flies, and were all pretty sure something died somewhere, but didn’t have any luck finding it. Muad’Dib seemed unaffected. Later in the evening, Summer ate our Mexican leftovers, so I grilled a single burger patty to place between two frozen grilled cheese sandwiches. It wasn’t edible. Eaddie had left to do things with friends, so it was dinner for one over the sink.

It was still a little warm when I finally decided to take Muad’Dib out for a run, but he had been cooped up inside all day and was excited to get out. We did a leisurely walk under five miles an hour, hung out at my parents’ house for a bit, and then took a short path back home for the night.

What a sweet dog.

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Long Weigh Down

Summer would have to work all afternoon and close the wash, so I thought I’d get up and lay with her on the couch for a bit before she left. Then she said something about the flies in the house, and I mentioned them leaving the food out on the counter the other night, and that spawned a whole ordeal. She got up in a huff and cleaned the kitchen, then went outside to mow the lawn, and then left to go to the gym before work. I managed to stop her for a moment on her way out, but it just wasn’t a good conversation.

Eaddie left for church and I went through a few things to clean up a little bit. Dad was grilling pork chops for noodles though, so I had to get showered and left early for that so I could visit with Julie and Kevin while they were there.

Muad’Dib ran with me while I rode the Onewheel around the block, and we hung out while Dad grilled ribs, shrimp, and pork chops. Then Julie and Kevin showed up and we eventually all sat down to eat. I quietly had a short anxiety attack at one point, but it passed pretty quickly. As the evening went on, I quietly let Muad’Dib inside to get him acclimated, and Mom slowly expressed less anger each time until he was finally able to sit inside when Summer eventually made it over to eat after work.

It was getting dark, so we all headed home. Eaddie had left to hang out by a fire with Maristella, so Summer, Muad’Dib, and I quietly wound down before Summer’s surgery in the morning.

Look at the stars. Look how they shine for you, and everything you do.

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Tree Down, Two to Go

It was supposed to storm pretty bad today for Summer’s trip to Springfield for Conquer the Gauntlet, so I committed to going with her. We got out of the house on time, but the storm hit super hard not long after we left. We encountered around five trees that were partially across the road. One large one was all the way across, but had broken up and been driven over enough that we rumbled right on through. Then we got stuck just outside of Jasper because a large tree took down a utility line.

We were parked in the road in a line of vehicles going both directions. Summer had to sneak into the woods a couple times before the crews finally got the cable raised high enough for the trucks to get past. We got to the Girl Scouts Camp Finbrooke about an hour late, but she was able to join the 11AM wave. There were hardly any people there, possibly due to the rain, so I just waited in the car for her to finish.

Summer set a new record time because she didn’t have to wait in a queue for any of the obstacles, so she got changed and we headed to Buc-ee’s to Supercharge and shop. They were absolutely packed, nearly shoulder-to-shoulder in some places. I had already been struggling with anxiety, and being there just shot it through the roof. We grabbed some brisket sandwiches and ate them outside.

The brisket was absolutely garbage, and it occurred to me that other gas stations don’t scream about it because they know. Buc-ee’s seems painfully unaware, and provides much fanfare. Even the potato chips were chewy and disappointing. We ended up going back inside to do some more shopping, and picked up several different kinds of jerky to try. Then we went back to the car so I could decompress and plan our return home.

We ended up driving back to Branson after stopping briefly at some strange visitor center in the mountains. There were a couple guys in there hanging out behind a counter, and they weren’t at all pushy about anything. They had free drinks and visitor information, so I finally spoke up and asked one of them what they were selling. He said they had discount tickets, and eventually said they were a part of a particular resort, but he wasn’t pushy since we said we weren’t staying the night. He did give us a couple vouchers for some free mini golf and an old timey photograph, so our next stop was Coral Reef Mini Golf for 18 holes and some shuffleboard.

That was pretty good fun for free, so I dropped a $20 tip in the jar and we continued on to Starvin’ Marvin’s for dinner. They were the only seafood buffet I could find, and though the bar was super small, all the food was pretty good, and the service was great. We stuffed ourselves silly and then headed on home.

The kids were out on bikes when we finally made it home. The neighbors finally got the north side of the fence repaired, so Eaddie put Muad’Dib outside. I cleaned up and then took him out for a run. It looked like the kids were at Sequoyah, so we rode that direction to try and find them. Just as we got about a block away, it looked like they were on the way home, so we raced after them.

I tried texting Eaddie because we never caught sight of them. Muad’Dib was a champ keeping up, but I could tell I was wearing him out. We stopped at my parents’ house to rest and then made it home. Muad’Dib had jumped into the creek at my parents’ house because he was so hot, so I had to give him a bath. He behaved pretty well, except for jumping onto the bed before he was cleaned. Once he was dried up, he climbed into bed and went right to sleep with Summer while I wrapped up my own routine.

She gives me echoes; never answers. Hoping that she’ll change her mind.

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On Second Thought

If I had known we would all end up at the high school, I would have gone straight there in the morning. Instead, we sat around the office for about an hour and then all individually drove over to help Jim move all of his Chromebooks from the library to a holding room. We expected rain, so we couldn’t take them to the shop like we originally planned.

After a bit of sorting and looking for damage, we were done and sitting around. Jim started imaging more of his laptops while everyone else left, so I just sat in the library and worked on the FortiAuthenticator stuff until lunch time. While we were waiting to go, Cheri called with an offer from Tesla. Then Teisha called with an offer from Bitec.

We thought we had a group for lunch since we waited for Kyle, but it ended up just being Jim and myself. He drove us to Mr. Cajun’s Kitchen and I tried their blackened catfish over red beans and rice. I thought it was way too expensive, but it tasted good. After that, I just stayed in the library until quitting time.

The drive home was a bit anxious. I stopped in Blackwell and again in Atkins for a slush since the Casey’s in town always seems to turn their slushy machine off when they have a free deal day. Summer was having a bath when I got home, but then she had to go to Morrilton to check on a truck that was leaking oil after service. I rode with her while the kids took Muad’Dib to the art walk downtown.

Summer was able to tighten the drain plug without any trouble, and we made it back home for some light leftovers. She did some work and we eventually wound down kind of late, considering she had a Conquer the Gauntlet race in the morning in Springfield, Missouri. I may have caught something from handling all the Chromebooks, because I felt a sinus infection creeping in all evening.

I thought by now, you would understand sonder!

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Along for the Ride

I picked Dad up this morning and we headed to Tulsa, stopping in Van Buren for a charge and some breakfast pizza. We got there about half an hour early and checked in, but they didn’t offer a loaner, and the demo vehicle I requested wasn’t available until later in the afternoon. Dad and I waited in the lobby for hours and waited for the estimated completion time of 1:30, which turned into 2:45. I ended up asking for any demo vehicle at all, and we got a Model 3 to take to the 50’s Diner for lunch.

I had a Monte Cristo and Dad got a burger. The onion rings were different and better than I expected as thin, small rings with only a light batter. As we were finishing, I got a call asking to come back and demonstrate the passenger seat popping for the tech, even though I had showed Blake, the service advisor, when we checked in.

The popping had quit, but the seat controls had phantom actions that weren’t intended. When moving straight back, the backrest would recline a bit intermittently. The tech said he couldn’t do anything more about it until they released a new firmware for the controls, which didn’t make any sense to me. We also couldn’t get a confirmation that they would cover the paint issue, so we ended up waiting until the car was finished around five o’clock.

We did get to demo the new Model Y Juniper, and it was quite nice. It did feel tighter and more refined than Summer’s. We also got to demo a Cybertruck, and Dad even drove that one. We only took it around the block, but I liked it well enough. If I wanted a larger vehicle, I would totally drive one.

They finally finished around five, and Mykel confirmed that they would cover the paint issue under warranty. They also said the air conditioner was overfilled by about 200 grams of refrigerant. Hopefully fixing that will make it cool better.

We headed home, and the car did great both ways. We didn’t even have to stop to charge on the way home, so I took Dad home and then went home to find some leftovers and a drink before bed.

I told you once, you fooled me twice.

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Call Me Ishmael

Today was a lonely day at work. Kyle showed up and sat at his desk for a few minutes like he sometimes does, but otherwise I was in the corner by myself all day. Randy was somewhere else, but messaged me to get a server going for Go Phish, as well as FortiAuthenticator. Go Phish was deceptively easy to set up, because it also requires another domain from which to launch phishing campaigns. It seems less effective to only have one consistent domain from which to phish your own team.

Summer came to get me for lunch and we went to Red Lobster. The food tasted good, but she had a rough time afterward. I didn’t feel great, but I think it was just too greasy. I’ve been craving some clean food lately, and that wasn’t it.

The afternoon was quiet, and the old men continued wasting their time, which only frustrated me further. I had a dozy ride home with a touch of anxiety that had been around all day, and eventually went to my parents’ house with Muad’Dib for bún bò Huế. After we ate, I took him on the rest of his shortened, hot walk. I let him play in the creek and then had to give him a proper bath when we got back home.

Dad wanted to open the pool, so I had the kids meet me over there. They were supposed to go to a movie, but they said Autumn stood them up again. That was frustrating for multiple reasons, including the fact that she never replied to me when I initially asked them for help. They did end up helping uncover the pool though, and then I headed back home to crash.

From hell’s heart I stab at thee!

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Put the Past Away

DNS didn’t actually scavenge anything because it only triggered the aging, so we won’t know for a couple weeks if it actually worked. I guess that’s fine, since graduation was tonight and we won’t have people on site for it to matter. I got back into SCCM to try and clean up the stuck update, and found the right combination and order of commands to fix it, so I was able to re-run the newest update.

Summer was in Little Rock for her own meeting, so we met at Red Lobster for unlimited soup and salad. Just as I parked, I got a call from Bitec to schedule a Teams interview. We ate, and then she came back to the office with me to do some work until her surgery consultation. I guess Randy was in a bad mood, because he kind of flipped out at me when I said I invited her in, but he mellowed out pretty quickly.

Just before the appointment, Summer headed out to find her appointment, but she didn’t actually know where she was going. She got to the address she had in the calendar entry and discovered for the first time that it was just a residential home, and called me crying that she didn’t know where to go. I had already left too, but pulled over at Franklin’s to talk to her. I just told her to call the doctor and see if she could find who they referred her to, since she didn’t even have the business name.

After some Googling and a bit of guesswork, she ended up getting a call from the CARTI Cancer Center, asking if she was going to make her appointment. They guided her in and I met her there after I went to the Baptist Health Breast Center by mistake. We went in for the consult and scheduled an appointment to remove the atypical cellular mass, so that was pretty good news. It didn’t feel like either of us were hugely relieved, but that was probably due to the continued confusion and frustration over the process up to this point.

We finally headed to Conway to Supercharge, and went in to Five Guys to share some fries. She wasn’t hungry, but I decided to try a hot dog that was pretty okay. I still think they’re hugely overpriced, but the location was right. Then we headed home.

As I got to the Pottsville offramp, there was an overturned semi blocking the entire right lane from the westbound onramp. The car in front of me made a full stop before finally pulling over, and it looked to have just happened because someone else had pulled over and was running up to the windshield to check on the driver. There were enough people pulled over that I knew I couldn’t provide any additional help, so I got out of the way.

When I got home, the kids were assembling the headboard I got for Eaddie. I took Muad’Dib out for his first run in a few days, which he enjoyed. We visited Dad, and then I left him outside when we got home, since he took a bath in the creek. I took care of a few Vine things, had an anxiety attack, and then laid down with Summer for a bit before I had to get up and complete my tasks before bed.

You don’t have to say it again. I heard it the first time.

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Rollin’ in the Deep

Muad’Dib slept well with us last night, and I think Eaddie even let him into her room for a bit. More than once, I lied quietly awake while he and Summer snored. When morning came, she got up and made what amounted to a pot of bacon-fried rice and eggs. I wished she had just done what I told her and used Ro-tel, so it would have been a little lighter than what she made by toasting sesame seeds and onions in sesame oil in addition to the existing bacon grease.

Eaddie left pretty early to spend the day in Maumelle with Eli’s family. Summer went to work and then to the gym for a while. I cleaned up a bit at home before Summer got back and finished her cake. Then we gave Muad’Dib another bath, hoping I could take him to my parents’ house with less protest.

He took his bath reasonably well, but it’s proven nearly impossible to stop him from shaking water everywhere once he gets out of the tub. I took him outside to blow-brush dry, and then I brought him inside to vacuum out some more hair.

As the evening approached, Summer thought we could walk him between the raindrops. I wasn’t convinced it wouldn’t rain harder, so I let her walk him to my parents’ house, and I drove the cake over. Just after I got there, she said she needed a poop bag, so I dropped off the cake and went back to scoop the poop, It wasn’t until I got back to my parents’ house that I realized the cake leaked fruit goop all over her passenger seat. There was a pool of it all along the rear seam of the seat, and all I could do was hope that it didn’t seep further into the cushion.

Mom refused to let Muad’Dib in the house, so we let him sit out back while we ate rolls. Afterward, we had Summer’s incredibly dense cake, and her decision not to use powdered sugar in the buttercream icing made it crunchy in a bad way.

We drove home for the evening and I finally got Muad’Dib to eat some of his own food that he’d been turning his nose up all weekend. The kids got home late and hung out for a while, and I tried to go to bed early.

Stability in Misery

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Slippery When Whet

I was up several times last night, either on my own, or with Muad’Dib. He did pretty well to sleep with us all night, and I felt better confining him to the bedroom. I wish Eaddie had left her room open so he could go in there with her, because otherwise I could remove the baby gate and just keep him in our bedroom alone.

We got up late and Summer made some breakfast for us while Eaddie left for church. We had a pretty quiet morning until she got back, and then Summer left for the gym. It eventually started raining and did that for most of the afternoon, but I got some laundry done and then we took a trip out in it to get some groceries for dinner.

Eaddie brought Eli and Cecilia over for dinner, and I grilled some pork steaks and burgers while Summer made rice, sweet potato, and a cake that didn’t quite get finished before the end of the night.

Smooth