Tag: frustration

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Big Ask

Breakfast was better this morning, but Kim was by all accounts worse. She disappeared often, and left at some point to drive to another town to retrieve her wallet from her husband’s unlocked truck where he parked at work. Fortunately it was mostly quiet for me. The afternoon dragged horribly after we got our hibachi food truck for lunch.

I got a call from Grace Manufacturing to do a same-day phone interview, so I took that at the end of the day after everyone had left. I thought it went alright, but I had the feeling they weren’t looking to pay anywhere near my asking price, and it’s not at all in the technology field either.

I eventually made it to the old house to grab some things and feed the fish. Then I headed home for some peace for a while before Summer got home and I left with the dogs. I took their water bottle along this time, and it really seemed to help pace them. We stopped at my parents’ house, and then went through the basin again. We ran across several others walking dogs, so we had to take some breaks and then ended up on the divided street before circling through the neighborhood again to get home.

Noah was back for some reason. Then Eaddie got home late, and I was upset at the state of her room. Summer failed to take the evening off for our concert tomorrow, and Eaddie still doesn’t want to go next week, and it has me wondering why I plan anything with them at all.

Good boys, anyway.

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Foaming

I got to work a little bit early this morning, but breakfast was already pretty picked-through, and definitely not as good as yesterday. It was quieter today though, I think because teachers were stuck in the auditorium for a large part of the day. I used my time to try and clean up some things before I got, but it’s getting harder to keep my spirits amicable.

Lunch wasn’t great either. I remembered the Junction Cafe having pretty awful chicken strips, and I was right. I don’t know how they got them so flat or dried out, but at least there was some food left over from yesterday.

I got the fish fed once I got back into town, and then headed home and played with the dogs. Then I took them out for a long run to my parents’ house for some water, and then the long way through the new neighborhood and the basin area. Stilgar was pulling and huffing pretty hard, and started to foam at the mouth quite a bit. I was a bit worried, but we tried stopping by some sprinklers along the way, and he managed to keep going. I gave him a good misting from the hose once we got back to the house, since he’s not allowed a bath for the time being.

I was pretty hot myself, so I rode back to my parents’ house for a quick swim before coming back home. Eaddie suddenly said she didn’t want to go to see Five Finger Death Punch next week even though I triple-checked with her before I submitted payment, so I really want to make her go anyway. It’ll be a lesson in maintaining a working calendar for her schedule.

Besides, we’ve got to start practicing now if we’re going to survive another Trump presidency.

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Lobby Hobbies

Summer and I woke up way early today so we could get to Tulsa for her service appointment. We stopped in Ozark to charge and I got a little snack for breakfast, and I managed to squeak up to the service center just before our appointment at nine. They didn’t have a loaner for us, but instead offered to let us take test drives in two hour increments.

We ended up hanging out in the lobby until lunch. There were a bunch of people there, but we were there the longest by far. They had a Cybertruck that we could climb around in, but nobody could drive it. We watched as several people stopped to look at it. I kind of liked it, but Summer made a face.

I found an Indian buffet for lunch, so we borrowed a brand new Model 3 that had ten miles on the odometer, and drove across town to eat. The food was really good, but I wished there was more meat. They love their bones, which was annoying but flavorful. We headed straight back to the service center after that.

They got the windshield replaced, but it wasn’t until about 4:00 that they asked for details about the air conditioner, which was the original reason for the warranty claim. They couldn’t find anything wrong, and of course the car had been inside all day, so it wasn’t hot enough to reproduce the failure. They did recharge the refrigerant, and said it was something like 38 grams low, so maybe that will make some difference.

We finally headed home, charged in Ozark, and then Summer finished the last leg of the trip. Eaddie and Eli were at the house and rearranging her room. Summer went to bed, and I responded to a couple requests for interviews, which felt very reassuring. We’ll get this ball rolling eventually.

1.9% is tempting, but let’s find work first!

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Rogue Tech

It was kind of a weird and quiet day at work, feeling like I’m caught in limbo with zero oversight and literally no administration present. I’ve been a little bit concerned, or at least cautious after being told that people might have tried to throw me under the bus somehow, but I’m really working on my own terms right now. I could potentially even rack up a bunch of overtime and they would be stuck paying for it. I did see where Samuel had logged in to some of our systems, and given the lack of trust I have for Todd, I don’t really know what to think. I’d left his accounts active just because I wasn’t sure if I was sticking around, but he really has no business in my stuff while I’m there.

I’ve sent a steady flow of applications out, and gotten a few automatic rejection letters. I think only one of them was from a place I was excited about, but there haven’t been too many exciting places either. Other than that, my biggest accomplishment was getting my USG-Pro-4 to successfully re-adopt to my network. Now I’ve just got to figure out how the heck to configure the VLANs for it again without breaking everything else in the process.

Summer made shredded chicken tacos for dinner, so I fed the fish and stopped by the Neighborhood Market again for some slaw mix. It wasn’t really necessary because I think I was the main person to eat any of it. The kids were being numbskulls, so I stepped out with the dogs and a beer while they ate. After I came in to eat, they went out to walk the dogs. Noah disappeared to the guest room after Summer upset him when she pressed him to apply for jobs making more than minimum wage. We’re not running a charity, but she hasn’t told him that to his face.

When Eaddie and Eli got back from walking the dogs, they said Muad’Dib still had some energy, so I took him for a run on the Onewheel to my parents’ house. I picked up some baking dishes from them, and then took a long route back. By then the dogs were pretty tuckered out and quiet for the rest of the night. I wrapped up as quickly as I could, and then it was off to bed.

I’d walk with my people, if I could find them.

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Conspiratorial

I ran a little late to work, but who cares? Muad’Dib lost his collar, but I couldn’t crawl under the deck to get it until I got home from work.

I kept pretty busy, and even ran down to the elementary building a couple of times. Jill came through and was about as helpful as usual. Todd passed through and was uncharacteristically quiet. Becky stopped in and behaved cryptically, suggesting that I had been thrown under the bus somehow. I don’t even know what they could have against me, but given the lack of response I’ve had during my entire time there, and the behavior I had already witnessed, I’m not going to fight to stay for the same rate of pay. I made my stand clear to everyone, for better or worse.

I must have fifty applications out in the wild by now, and Indeed makes it so easy to apply to a dozen more every day. There have been a few that got me properly excited, but still the vast majority have been remote. I’ll need to clean up my office space for that to work.

I left a little late after fighting my USG-Pro-4 again. Summer chopped the leftover rotisserie chicken up with some fruit and stuff, and wanted me to pick up some more lettuce. I fed the fish and then ran through the Neighborhood Market on the way home. Eli was there to eat with us, and then we sent him and Eaddie out to walk the dogs. Evidently they ran into Noah on the way out, so they all went together.

I followed up with some more applications, and pressed Noah to apply for a custodial position at the school. I’d do anything to get him out of here.

Appreciation in lieu of compensation, but sometimes not even that.

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Last Minute Nonsense

As if yesterday’s news wasn’t enough, we got a message from the Tulsa Tesla service center just as we were ready to walk out the door that they wouldn’t have a loaner vehicle available for us, and also likely wouldn’t be able to complete the repair in a day. Rather than drive separately, we decided to reschedule. Fortunately they were able to get us in next Friday instead of the app’s first available date in September.

Since our day was completely foiled, I took the dogs out for a run and then Summer and I went to Little Rock for Deadpool so we could have Saturday for other things. We stopped at a pretty impressive Kroger Marketplace when we got to town, and I had to laugh that Walmart got into groceries with their “Marketplace” stores, and Kroger got into “everything else” with their “Marketplace” stores.

I picked up some cough medicine and we found a few snacks, and then we headed to a Mexican restaurant up the road called Los Cabos. The food was good, and though we were both completely satisfied with our portions, they did seem smaller than what we typically see in town. I was also hoping the food would be somehow different, but it really was just like everywhere else. The only thing that stood out was the salsa that tasted like pizza sauce.

We finally headed toward the theater with a lot of time to kill, so we walked through Home Goods before driving around the shopping center. We saw a Cybertruck in person, and I thought it was fairly impressive looking. We quickly walked the area, but without much of interest, I decided to kill our final hour at an upscale flea market called Painted Tree Boutiques. Summer enjoyed browsing what I considered to be overpriced stay-at-home mom junk. I mostly gawked at the price tags.

We made it back to the theater with just enough time to settle in, and the 3D showing of Deadpool & Wolverine wasn’t very busy. I appreciated still being able to find good seats, and the 3D was actually really well done. So well, in fact, that I wonder how it’ll look in 2D, because a few of the scenes were pretty specifically shot for 3D. Summer struggled with some of the ultraviolence, but otherwise we found it to be a great fanservice movie. I think it really might have the momentum needed to shift Marvel’s recent struggles.

After the movie, we headed straight home and I played with some more Amazon Vine stuff that had come in before heading to bed.

Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill.

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Other Directions

I thought today might be an okay day. I got to work and made myself a coffee, and was able to assemble my knowledge and choose a direction for my big networking project. Then things started to get gross. Around lunchtime, Blake found me in my office and told me they were going to go in another direction with the Technology Coordinator position. He didn’t have any real answers or even useful adages. He just said they weren’t going to keep me. At that point, he didn’t even know whether I was supposed to pack my things right then and there, or if I was supposed to keep working until the next Coordinator of the Week showed up. He did know that they already had someone picked for the job, by way of Western Yell County School District, but he didn’t know when he was slated to start.

We talked briefly to no end, and then I spent the rest of the day applying for every job I was even remotely qualified to take, almost all of which were more than twice the salary. I’d already missed my best opportunity for the moment in Morrilton, so all I could do is hunt through what was left. Nothing local, for certain.

I talked to Summer, Johnny, Brody, Kim, and Ben on the phone throughout the afternoon. Ben, as usual, probably had the best advice. Brody, on the other hand, was the only one with an actual job to fill. It would be a slight pay cut, but only if I’m still working by that time.

I eventually headed home without packing too much stuff out of the office. I fed the fish and then went to get Summer for dinner. Eaddie had already eaten, and Noah needed her to pick him up across town. I’m so sick of hearing from that kid, sweating on my couch all night, burning in my television, holding a savings of three hundred dollars toward buying a working vehicle since he burned up his truck.

Summer and I went to Peg Leg for some burgers. Based on our first impression from walking in the door, it was not going to be a good experience. It was a dingy establishment with an oscillating fan in the dining room, a television playing Christian music on Sirius XM, and literally zero other customers. That was when things took a sudden turn. Our server accurately guessed both of our burger choices, and forty bucks later, we were really impressed. Takeout would probably be a better deal so we wouldn’t have to tip, but the burgers were fantastic. Way more gourmet than the Gunslingin Burger across town, and with fewer creepy people inside.

After we ate, we headed home and I took the dogs for a run to my parents’ house. When we got back to the house from our extended route, Muad’Dib still wanted some more. I ended up taking him out on a solo run, and we finished the day with nearly three miles on the board. Hopefully that will keep them quiet tonight.

Summer was in bed long before I got settled in, because I had to wait for Noah to finish his laundry before I could get to mine. Eaddie chatted with me a little bit about a band opportunity, and I applied for Brody’s open position in Clarksville. I may not like it now, but I drew my line in the sand. The lesson is that integrity shown is seldom reciprocated.

Blame is better to give than receive.

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Quiet One

I was the first one out of bed, but there was a distinct lack of fanfare. Summer got up and had coffee, and then I made one for myself before going out to feed the dogs. I kept feeding them both by hand, one at a time, until Muad’Dib didn’t want any more. Then I laid the rest of the bowl down for Stilgar. Eaddie wanted help with her bicycle so she could go ride with a friend, and I pushed her to figure some of it out on her own, since I’ve shown her multiple times before, and I’m tired of babying her on things like that.

She left and I had a shower so Summer and I could go see A Quiet Place: Day One in town. Dad stopped by on his bike to air up his tires, and then we left. It was a quiet showing in a recliner room, which was fine if not overpriced for a matinée. I liked the movie okay, but didn’t find it to be as good as the first two.

I had specifically told Summer that by watching the movie in town, we’d still have plenty of the afternoon left to be productive when we got home, so of course she sat down to work on her laptop for the rest of the evening. I left in frustration and took the dogs for a run on the Onewheel. We visited with Dad and then rode back home.

I was pretty sweaty by the time we made it back, so I settled in pretty early. Eaddie was out late, and Summer did whatever she does when she’s finished working.

Uncertainty stinging clear

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Twisting the Night Away

After being ill for so long, and exhausted from overexerting myself all day, I still could not sleep last night. I tossed and turned in a damp sweat, with cold burning in my nose from sinus trouble. My mind reeled in restlessness, and even when I would occasionally doze off, I would wake up in some delirious state, half dreaming, half in some anxious panic.

I got up with my alarm, pushed back and got up a little later and still got to the door on time. Both of the Murano keys were gone. I screamed. Summer yelled back to take her car, so I threw the things she had in the seat into the floor of the garage and left. I picked up a burrito from Sonic and made it to work a little bit early.

The admins saw me. First day off-contract. Will I get a paycheck? They’re normally deposited around this time of the month. I haven’t gotten anything yet. Labor laws dictate that I must be paid for the time that I’m there, and nobody has run me off yet. It feels like I’m playing a rich or stupid man’s game of Chicken.

I made it through the day with a bowl of ramen and a cough drop. I finished up the last few minutes at the elementary and then headed home a little early. Who can stop me now?

I fed the fish and slowly made it home. Eaddie and her friend Autumn were at the house for the night. I changed clothes and settled in for a little bit. Mom was making Phở, which wasn’t the eggplant soup I anticipated, but welcome nonetheless. The girls would be making dinner, so I’d go by myself since Summer was working a little late. Then Noah called to “warn me” that a “strange hairy dude” was going to come by and drop several boxes of his things off at our front door, and that he would be along afterward on his bicycle.

I roped up the dogs and we hit the road on the Onewheel. We made good time to my parents’ house with the runs. Both kinds. I tied them up in the back yard so we could eat, but then I had to get them home in the hot humidity. They made it with plenty of energy after they had some time to rest, so I hoped they’d be too tired to mess with anything overnight.

All three kids were in the kitchen making “food” and “noise.” I dried up the sweat and sought refuge. Eventually sleep.

I’m with stupid.

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Bye Week

I could feel something in the back of my throat Wednesday evening, and by Thursday I had a 103º fever that Tylenol would only coax down to about 101º. I ran the full gamut of chills, heat flashes, body aches, and eventually sinus and chest crud. Dad brought me a COVID at-home test that was advertised as having a propensity for false-negatives, so it wasn’t COVID. Maybe.

I remember getting out on Friday with Summer to take Kevin his birthday present to the airport, but we didn’t stick around for pulled pork. I stopped by the old house to check on the fish, and in hindsight I should have left the automatic feeder on. We made it back home, and the next thing I remember doing is getting out late to pick up some burgers from Sonic. The pickle fries were awful.

The fever never let up, but between waves of medication I felt well enough to watch The Secret of NIMH on Saturday, and then out of nowhere, the fever was gone on Sunday morning. Recovery was nearly as rough, with more crud in my chest than anything else. I felt gross and sweaty all day, but I had a shower and brushed my teeth.

Summer had mowed in the morning, so she left it to Eaddie when it came time to walk the dogs. She didn’t mind, but said she couldn’t walk both alone, so I went with her. It was immediately obvious that they hadn’t been properly walked in my two week absence, as the line was taught nearly the entire time. We made it about halfway to my parents’ house, which was already a longer route than Eaddie wanted to take, when she had to stop to scoop some poop, so she insisted that it was my job to walk the dogs alone the rest of the way. She might have reconsidered if I had pressed, but I had more fight in me for the dogs than for her.

We gave them a drink at my parents’ house, and then headed back home. It was a hot struggle, and I was completely drenched in sweat, so I took a cold shower and finished up my laundry. The dogs were fussy outside, and tore into the bags of potting mix on the porch. I went back out to discipline and clean that up, and left the hole they had dug under the north fence for another day.

If you do nothing, bite your tongue when I do.