Tag: frustration

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Double Dooty

Summer woke me up because someone knocked on the door this morning. We both assumed it was probably a package, but there wasn’t anything at the door when we checked. She got around to come coffee in an Ember mug and remarked on how nice it was to have hot coffee to the last sip. I commented that it’s also nice to have only one cup that’s immediately washed and put away, rather than a countertop full of poorly-rinsed coffee mugs that collect over the course of a week or two. That upset her, which irritated me.

Eaddie snuck out for church at some point, and Summer wanted to go to the gym. I went outside after the dogs tore something else up, and had to drain the flooded basement. While I was back there, I noticed a hole in the roof where something was likely nesting. Summer took my car to the gym after some protest because of the lack of turn signal and drive stalks. I took a shower, and when she got back, she had a glum look on her face. She then proceeded to tell me about witnessing a hit-and-run in the parking lot in such a way that I was on edge the entire time thinking something happened to my car, which irritated me further.

I eventually took the dogs out for a run since it was finally mostly dry out. When we got back, the girls were home doing a ton of laundry and cleaning up. I messed with some more accessories for my car and installed some kick panels on the center console, then went back to my parents’ house for mango soup.

When I made it back home, I spent a bunch more time cleaning up while Summer cross stitched in front of the TV and Eaddie finished up her laundry. I got Summer’s license plate frame installed, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about adding one to mine. We’ll have to test it out once I get it registered.

I was sleepy for most of the evening, but general aggravation that had accumulated throughout the day got my blood pressure up. I felt a bit of a bronchial cough coming on all night, so hopefully I’m not getting sick.

Easy

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Those Christmas Lights

Summer got me up around nine this morning so I could get the turkey going. To my surprise, we were approved for the zero percent loan for my new car with a low down payment, so I took care of that and made the final payment before I got started. Then I kept Summer nearby because I wasn’t sure what I was going to need at any given moment. I used my new grinder to grind the spices down for the injection. It worked better, but still ended up clogging. I think it had more to do with the fact that the butter was solidifying in the syringe since the turkey was still cold inside. We eventually got it on the smoker though, and then it was a race to get everything else going. I oiled and salted the potatoes and threw them on the grill as well.

Summer did a bunch of other cleaning and worked on her deviled eggs. I took a shower and then pulled the potatoes off the grill so I could gut them, mash that up, and re-smoke them. We were getting down to the wire, but had a reasonably good morning until I got a text that Mom wasn’t coming. I had my hands full of potatoes, so I had Summer call Dad on speakerphone. I instantly blew my top at her because she wanted to blame my blood pressure, but changing plans at the last minute was what really got me hot.

I got the potatoes back on the smoker and cranked up the heat a bit, which turned out to be a big mistake. I guess there was still some grease at the bottom that caught fire, and my temperature shot up from my set 350ºF to over 500. We pulled the potatoes off and Summer finished them in the oven. I was going to drive over to talk to Mom, but just then Kevin showed up, followed by Julie with various things to unload from the car. Dad wasn’t far behind with even more stuff.

We got everything settled and then I took Dad’s car to go talk to Mom, since he and Julie were parked behind us. I talked to her briefly and apologized for blowing up, but reminded her that a big reason that I agreed to buy our house was so we would have room to entertain the family for the holidays, in a house with as little travel from theirs as possible. It didn’t take much more for her to come back with me, but she insisted that she didn’t want to stay long.

Noah was running behind in the most characteristically unpredictable way, so the seven of us ate. I thought all the food turned out pretty good. After that, we took a break to open presents. Eaddie had the biggest haul and wanted to know what she did to deserve to be so spoiled, but I think everyone felt pretty satisfied. After that, it was a bit of a struggle to decide what to do. I wanted to either watch Red One or start on some dessert, but Summer was busy cleaning up in the kitchen and became unresponsive to anything I asked. Julie ended up putting on Elf and they watched that while a few of us got some dessert.

Dad took Mom home, and Eaddie had Eli come over for some presents. Then they put on the Michael Jordan documentary series or whatever on the TV again. Noah finally showed up at some point and ate food and opened presents. I wasn’t terribly upset that he didn’t end up staying the night. Once everyone else left, the girls and I watched Red One together before bed. We all really enjoyed it for being so creative and unexpected.

I wrapped up the night by making some more turkey soup from the new bones we had. I was up pretty late waiting for it to cool down enough to refrigerate, but I was happy to be done with it right away instead of letting the bones sit for weeks.

Light up the street.

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Down ‘Till Out

I didn’t sleep very long, and it hurt all day. I got up and warmed up the last of the pizza for brunch. Summer did some work from home, and I did a load of dishes. I eventually had a shower and took the dogs out for a nice, long run. Mom and Dad saw me by the roundabout and circled around to holler at me, but there was traffic. We kept running through the neighborhoods until we got home.

I cleaned up some more stuff in the fridge, and roasted the turkey carcasses in the oven so I could make soup. Eaddie was playing in a community concert at Tech in the evening, so we eventually got around for that. Summer and I ran by Walgreens first, but the pharmacy was closed. She needed a lemon, so we ran to the Neighborhood Market for that, then picked up Dad for the concert.

I was surprised at how many empty seats there were, on account of how many people were playing in the band. It was a decent concert for a single day of rehearsal. Then it was back home where Summer crashed and I cooked down the turkey bones into soup. I was up pretty late taking care of that, so hopefully the end product is worth it.

Bone Sifter

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Back to Black

Today was pretty rainy and warm. I got to work, and Kyle was oddly the only one there. He hung out for a little while, but then left for his office the rest of the day. Charles brought in a bunch of leftover pizza and cookies from a party that he had over the weekend, so nobody got out for lunch. Otherwise I was with Maggie and Randy all day, except Randy kept having to run to central office to help with random things.

I got a call from a message from Tesla that they would have to change my delivery from Tulsa to Kansas City if I wanted to finance through them, since Oklahoma wouldn’t allow them to sell me the car because laws. Then I got a call from Kyle in Kansas City to say they wouldn’t be able to get a red Model 3 with the white interior before the end of the year, thus disqualifying me from the incentive. He had a red with the black interior, or other paint colors I could choose from, but I told him it had to be red. I decided to think on it a bit and then call him back.

I looked up some more comparison pictures and reviews, then called back to accept the black interior, but he said someone just bought it, so they didn’t have a red car for me at all. I told him to cancel the order, and that there were no hard feelings. Just as I was closing everything down and shaking off the excitement, he called back to say that he felt bad about the other car being sold out from under me that he did some legwork and got approved to transfer a red with black from Texas to Kansas City so I would still qualify. I took the offer, then had to redo my loan application because I was dumb and included our entire mortgage amount in what I reported. For some reason I went lawful-good and thought I had to tell the absolute truth, but Kyle said to just change the amount I pay and see if I get a better offer.

Apart from that, there wasn’t any excitement until quitting time. I left a little early so I could pick up some flowers for Summer, and somewhere after Conway I ran into a torrential downpour. There were a dozen cars pulled over, and at least one Miata-sized car spun out in the median. I got to town safely, picked up some flowers from Walmart, then picked Summer up at the lube and took her to Brangus for our anniversary.

After we finished our undercooked steaks, we ran home to clean up before Eaddie’s Christmas concert. We picked up Dad along the way, then sat through two bands worth of music. My heart was racing the entire time, and I couldn’t ever get it to calm down. On the way out, the cranky old grandparents snubbed Summer while they were visiting with Eaddie. We got out pretty quickly after that because it upset Summer. We had a near-successful summon for the Model Y, dropped Dad off at their house, then went home to wind down and get to bed.

Runaway rollercoaster!

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💯

Predictably, I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. My mind raced, stuck in a maze. I eventually managed to pass out for a couple hours, but then woke up around 2:30 and decided to measure my blood pressure. I had great numbers, but then my mind started racing again and it shot up, again preventing me from going back to sleep. I moved around a bit, and even tried lying on the couch for a little while, but nothing worked. I finally climbed out of bed a little after three and just started getting ready for work.

My pressure rose the entire time, and the lump in my throat that I finally lost in the middle of the night was back. Luckily it was a slow ride in to work and I managed to avoid some frustration there. I was a few minutes early, but to no effect. Randy came in just after me and we chatted a little bit. Once he left for his executive team meeting, I sat in the dark until Maggie showed up.

My numbers weren’t awful, and I snacked for some of the morning. They still got pretty high by lunch, and then a McRib probably didn’t do much to help me. In fact, I kept skating just above 90mmHg diastolic for most of the afternoon, and the clonidine didn’t seem to have much effect. I had left a message for Crystal’s nurse first thing in the morning, but the only call I received was from someone at Baptist that called after receiving my info from the self-care fair.

Randy decided we could work from seven to 3:30, so I took off and beat most of the most annoying traffic home. Summer got there just after I did, and I took the dogs for a run with a little bit of daylight left. We went through the basin and around the roundabout to my parents’ house and up the hill before coming back home.

Eaddie got home just after I did, but spent some time chauffeuring friends before finally coming back home for the night. Summer sat quietly in the living room, and I ate the lettuce with some Miracle Whip and black pepper, then a banana before going to bed super early.

😓

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Keep It Under 100

I didn’t think I slept great, or for very long last night. I actually woke up before my alarm and decided to get up for work. I didn’t even get through the whole routine, but made it out the door early enough to take it easy going in. I didn’t really have any trouble for the drive in, and I think people were glad to see I was still kicking. I took my blood pressure cuff with me, and checked it several times throughout the day. In spite of taking it super easy all day, it got higher and higher to the point that I had to start taking clonidine around lunch time.

I met Randy and Jim at Jacob’s Wings for lunch, and I don’t think those helped me much. I had forgotten their “boneless wings” were more like sliced chicken strips, but they were good. It was a super quiet lunch, and then I headed back to the office to charge.

The afternoon was quiet too, and I tried to sneak out a little bit early to try and avoid traffic. I could feel the frustration rising, but I never really got a lump in my throat or felt bad at all. I made it home where Summer had been cooking turkey dumplings for dinner. I took the dogs out for a quick run in the dark, and they were pretty great. I almost slipped and died because the basin trail had flooded and left a slick layer of silt on the sidewalk, but I stuck the landing. We made it to visit Dad, then back home in good time.

I was excited at first when Summer and I sat down to eat, but that quickly turned to more frustration. She pulled the meat off of my turkey bones that I was going to use for soup, and didn’t actually cook any of the bones for her dish. That would have made it better than using powdered chicken broth. She also added heavy cream to the broth, as well as my entire container of turkey gravy for some reason. Her mood of course went sour the instant she knew I wasn’t happy about it. Since she was on a hot streak with the food, she also failed to run the correct cycle on the dishwasher.

I ended up leaving the dumplings at the table and pulled out the rotting salad she had forgotten in the fridge instead. I sorted out what was still edible and planned to eat it, but my blood pressure got too high. I took my third clonidine for the day and tried to calm myself down, but just kept upsetting myself further. I really don’t know how to fix any of this. I’m pretty sure living together is killing me.

Eaddie got home super late from something, but Summer couldn’t say what. I just had to separate myself and get to bed as quickly as I could.

I’m used to not having anyone on my side.

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Over Pressure

I woke up to some pretty good numbers, and the lump in my chest was gone. I just had to keep that up for a drive to Fort Smith, and things would be peachy. I took it a little bit too easy all morning, because I was late getting showered and over to my parents’ house to pick them up.

Eaddie had rehearsal with her quintet, so Summer, my parents, and I headed to Fort Smith for the magic club Christmas potluck. It was pretty rainy most of the way, but we made it with plenty of time. I could feel my body tensing up the entire drive, so I knew my numbers would be high when we got there. I was at about 142/89 when we stopped, so I ended up taking a clonidine as soon as we got inside to try and bring myself back down. That may have actually worked against me, because by the time we left I was above 160/100. My heart started racing a couple hours before that, and I couldn’t get it to slow down all night.

I had Summer drive us home while I tried to get myself calmed down. I felt reasonably relaxed in the back seat, but my heart just kept beating hard. We stopped in Ozark to charge, and I jumped around a little bit outside, thinking that maybe I could burn off some adrenaline. I felt okay for the most part. My heart was just trying to beat out of my chest.

We dropped my parents off and made it home, where I kept relatively active the rest of the night. I had several Vine packages to unbox and photograph, which means I need to get some more reviews done. I tinkered with some stuff in the car for a bit, and ended up taking apart the USB console because it had some soda spilled in it. Summer did her nails, and we waited for Eaddie to get home from watching Wicked for something like the third time. I eventually took another clonidine and did some breathing exercises in bed to try and calm myself down. My heart rate came down a bit, but my blood pressure never really did. I just had to wrap things up and get to bed.

I feel like Jason Statham in “Crank.”

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Hypertensed

I got up this morning and tested my blood pressure at 119/69, which had me hopeful. Summer was going to stay home with me, but ended up going to work for a while. I took the time to shower and relax a bit before I took the dogs out on a run to Walgreens to get my prescriptions filled. They found a persimmon tree along the way, so I fed them a couple that were hanging low enough for me to reach. Maybe we’ll get a tree out of it next year.

I went ahead and took them back around our normal circuit, though they weren’t behaving super well. In addition, Stilgar had eaten my old cat water jug, which angered me. We made it back home after some tugging along, and I continued my research to pick a new primary care physician. I also waited forever for Summer to finish doing work from home so we could pick up my prescriptions.

I started feeling a little hot behind the ears in the afternoon, and noticed that my pressure was climbing again. Sensing my urgency, Summer got up and we went to get my medicine. I continued to feel slightly worse, so we decided to swing by the Conway Regional clinic to see what they were like. There I encountered two familiar faces: Monalisa, who I don’t think I’d seen since my time at Asurion, and Lelan’s friend Cindy. Mona got me set up with new patient paperwork, which frustrated me further. It’s 2024. Get an iPad.

I think if I had known they were open in the evenings at no additional cost, I would have made my decision a lot earlier to go there instead of the local Baptist Health clinic. My only real gripe was about the lady that took me back and did my notes before the nurse practitioner saw me. She kept yapping loudly in my ear as I was trying to calm myself for her to take my blood pressure. It actually increased noticeably in the time I was in the room with her. The practitioner, Crystal, was wonderful. She came in early and gave me half the dosage of clonidine that I received in the ER the night before, and my pressure started coming down. We talked to her for a bit, she wrote me a prescription for some clonidine to take home, and we scheduled a full workup for January so I can get an early start on my high deductible.

We ran back to Walgreens for the additional meds, then ran home to change for the Christmas parade. My heated vest made me feel pretty fluffy, but it worked – at least around the collar. The body elements could have been warmer, but I couldn’t figure out a way to adjust just the neck. We made it across town and found a space in front of a tree where nobody had sat down. I hated to show up late and then get the best seat in the house, but the guy next to us encouraged us. We waited for Eaddie to pass, then crossed the street again to leave. I didn’t much care for interrupting the parade, but there was noone there to stop us, and Summer insisted.

From there, we went by Kroger for some bananas before I took us to Ridgewood for some food. I spotted Grant and chased him around back where he was trimming some brisket. I talked with him for a little bit, and I think we had a good moment to break through some concerns I had. He walked me through the restaurant and I got some food, and then we headed home.

Summer went straight for a bath while I mostly tried to relax. I kept watching my blood pressure since I couldn’t start a new cycle of meds until the next day. I was concerned that only getting half the dosage of amlodipine wouldn’t be enough, but maybe the addition of metoprolol will make up the difference. Time will tell, but for now, I guess I’m carrying three bottles with me.

Just, like, chill out, man.

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Chicken Potato Bowls

Today was a long day of picking up the house. Summer went to work. Eaddie came out eventually and took a shower while I was running all around the house. I thought Summer would be home around lunch time, but that wasn’t so. At some point, Eaddie asked if she could go to her father’s house for the night since I guess one of her half sisters had a kid with a birthday. These people propagate like mint.

I warmed up some leftover mashed potatoes and frozen chicken strips for lunch, then continued picking up and organizing randomly until Summer finally got home. She started on some deviled eggs and then took a bath, and I took the dogs out for an early run. We did nearly five miles after stopping to see Dad. He was worried about the new fiber internet provider after they cut their existing cable line trying to run fiber to the house. I just told him to find a place to leave a negative review, and someone would probably reach out rather than have him fight with incompetent customer service trying to direct him to an insurance company.

The dogs did really well, and Stilgar didn’t seem to care about how cold it was. He still wanted to be an alligator in the creek. I ran them all around the neighborhood and then brought them home for hot dogs. I had several more packages at the door, which brought the total to four separate deliveries for the day. I brought them inside and Summer started opening them. I wasn’t double checking what she was doing, and evidently she threw out a bag that still had a watch band in it. That wouldn’t have been bad, except I had just taken the recycling out to the curb just seconds before the truck picked up the dumpster.

I was furious at her negligence. I picked up a bit more before leaving to get some McNuggets for dinner. I didn’t want to go home, and considered that I might want something more to eat, so I ended up stopping in the Wendy’s parking lot. I ate the nuggets, and then remembered a deal for half price Famous Bowls from KFC, so I drove across the street and ate one of those in the lobby. I dawdled there for a while and then got back in the car and had Full Self Driving take me across town. It didn’t get adventurous, so I pointed it up the mountain before having it drive me back home.

Summer went to bed and I stayed up late picking up the ceiling-high stack of boxes she had shoved into the corner. There was a lot of junk there that she had just shoveled out of the way instead of letting me handle it. I sulked some more before eventually taking a shower and going to bed.

Let me remember the ways.

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The “Ga” is Silent

I woke up at 6:30 so we could make it to a nine o’clock movie in Conway. The girls got up after I was out of the shower, and then we were off. Summer drove so I could try and order snacks on my phone, but we ended up ordering there instead because I couldn’t redeem Movie Club credits for online orders.

Summer drove stubbornly and reacted poorly when I scolded her for not letting the car move out of the passing lane. Then when we got to the theater, she tried giving up after one horrible attempt at parking. I got out in a huff and waited in line to order snacks, then had to yell at them from across the lobby to come help me carry stuff.

We watched Wicked, which evidently was a Part 1, in a smaller auditorium in 3D. I think we were there with only one other person. I accidentally spilled a bunch of buttery popcorn and had to deal with a slippery floor for the whole movie. I also got super tired and struggled to keep my eyes open for part of it. Otherwise I thought it was pretty good. I think I liked the live show better though.

After the movie, we went to Brick & Forge for lunch. Our server was super weird and kept wanting to hover while we were reading the menu. Then he brought our food out before our appetizer. In fact, that didn’t come out until Summer had eaten all she could stand of her pasta entrée. Eaddie liked her burger, and my brunch quesadilla wasn’t bad. The pulled pork bread roll appetizer was pretty good, but simply came out too late. I nearly asked for it to be removed from the ticket.

Once we finished eating, we headed to Kohl’s and Shoe Carnival to do some shopping. Summer wasn’t feeling well, and Eaddie needed to get back to practice before her rehearsal, so we headed home after just those two stores. I drove this time, and stopped at Walmart once we got back into town so Eaddie could get some body wash. Summer waited in the car, so we were in and out fairly quickly.

I took the dogs out for a run as soon as we got home, and they did fairly well. They got treats and food, and then I tried to clean up in the kitchen a bit. I cleaned up some leftovers, then had Eaddie pick up some dollar McNuggets before the coupon reset. She ended up going to get Eli first, so there was a bit of a to-do. I probably spent $10 in gas for her to get those $1 nuggets.

Summer went to bed, Eaddie eventually made it home and did the same, and I wrapped up late, unslept and aggravated from more general negligence around the house.

Some things I cannot change, but ’til I try I’ll never know.