Tag: frustration

Uncategorised

Spring Server Room Cleaning

I took some cereal to work for breakfast, which actually worked out really well out of my coffee mug. I also brought my Onewheel so I could run quickly back and forth between my office and the server room. I took a couple trips worth of trash out to the dumpster, swept the floors, and then spent all afternoon troubleshooting one of my distribution switches that wouldn’t show up in the controller.

Summer was feeling better enough to get out of the house and have dinner ready for us, but wanted me to stop by the store on the way home. I ran to the old house to feed the fish first, and then went to Walmart. It’s been so long since I’ve been in the main store, and I love to shop. I hate feeling like I never make time for anything I enjoy any more.

Eaddie had Eli and her friend Autumn over for dinner, and I guess they couldn’t wait for me to get home. I got frustrated by that, and by the fact that Summer didn’t just have the kids go to the store so I could come straight home. By the time I got there, I had a pretty good tension headache going, and I just wanted some internal peace.

Denice emailed me to say that their internet at the house went out. I thought everything came back up after I worked on it, but I guess their point-to-point radio connected to the wrong upstream point or something. I messed with it a bit and got them working again.

We all ate and the kids eventually left. Then I took the Model Y out for a wash so I could take it to my interview at Bitec in the morning. Summer had a bag of some stinky clothes in the trunk, so I emptied all of her crap out of the car before coming in to go to bed.

It’s the same crap that was in there six months ago.

Uncategorised

The Very Hangry Cowterpillar

I woke up late today with an optical migraine and a headache. So much for not flipping my sleep schedule this weekend. At least it’s a three-day break. The girls had been up a while, and Eaddie planned to go to her father’s for a couple days. I was pretty hungry, so I had a leftover brat before cleaning up the kitchen. Dad was ready to uncover the pool, so the three of us hopped into the Pathfinder for a ride around the block. The pool water looked clean enough to swim in, and had probably the least amount of dead stuff in it that I’d ever seen before.

Eaddie eventually left for Clarksville, and Summer and I spent the rest of the day at home. I took care of my plants and took a shower. As dinner time approached, I struggled to come up with something to eat. Summer kept asking me how to fill out the form on the back of the title for the Pathfinder, and I got frustrated to the point that I just had to leave. I ended up at Wendy’s where I sat in peace with my Baconator and peach tea.

When I got back home, we watched X-Men: The Last Stand. I stopped partway through to make some popcorn that turned out tasting kind of stale. Then Summer went to bed while I got stuck spinning my wheels.

Dooooom

Uncategorised

No Son, You Failed Yourself

I got in a little bit early today, but it didn’t really help. Wave after wave of kids and teachers came in to talk to me, and only me, to check out or return devices. Jace was there with Kim again, and was being loud until I finally had to yell at him myself to stop making unnecessary noise. It was just impossible to do any work, and nobody else was really helping. I knew she had a long lunch duty, and I could have given her simple instructions on how to check devices in, but we just didn’t really have a plan going into it, and I wasn’t really backed up an unreasonable amount. It was just frustrating that I was roped to my desk all day.

By the end of the day, we only had one kid with anger issues, and were left with just over 70 students that either owed money or still had to return their device. That was a better number than last year, but still more than one grade level of students.

I headed home afterward and got stuck in slow traffic for the last leg of the trip. I fed the fish and thought I’d get back out on the Onewheel, but then it started to look like rain. I had Summer cook up the rest of the Brussels sprouts she bought the other day, and I grilled some brats as the weather sirens went off. Eaddie got super nervous about some cloud rotation, so the girls hid in the bathroom for a bit while I started eating. The sirens went off a couple times, but we never saw anything too bad on our side of town.

After dinner, everyone ended up in bed pretty quickly. The storm blew through super fast, so it didn’t even rain the rest of the night. I got things mostly cleaned up and put away, and then I was off to bed.

I just carried the grading pen a while.

Uncategorised

X-Day

Summer had to work this morning. I tried not to sleep too late, but Eaddie beat me to the shower. Then she disappeared to go to a friend’s party while I was in the shower. Summer came home excited about getting full self driving in her car, and wanted to go out to eat. The driving really had improved and seemed more assertive when taking off, and less afraid of cars crossing the street or turning in front of you.

We went to Mulan’s for lunch and then walked through the Lowe’s garden center, completely forgetting that I had reserved a free flower for Mother’s Day. We wanted to go grocery shopping to get steaks and potatoes for the family, but Summer started to feel a little sick and we ended up going straight home.

She had been talking about watching the X-Men movies after Mom watched the Wolverine origin movie the other day, so we watched the very first movie. Then I made her go out and mow as it started to get dark, and I cleaned up the kitchen in preparation for company.

Eaddie got home really late, so she’ll be spending all Sunday cleaning her room. That means I’ll have to sneak into the laundry room if I want to wash any of my own clothes. Today was a relative bust as far as I was concerned, and afternoon coffee had me up into the wee hours just doing nothing.

Stupid thermostat.

Uncategorised

Logic Puzzles

They must be training someone new at McDonald’s, because I was late to work again because it took way too long to get through the line. My reward was not having to wait in line for a 7 Brew Sweet & Salty that the school had “catered” in big, pre-brewed dispensers. I forgot about the donuts in the office, and then I had to figure out the gym sound system on wheels so they could have graduation rehearsal. Barry nearly had a heart attack when I insinuated that I may not be available the next evening for graduation.

In the end, whoever rolled the thing out there didn’t plug it in all the way. It took a real IT genius to figure that one out. I got the sound running, but there were still adjustments to be made and speakers to be balanced. For the time being, they were happy with what they had. My price keeps going up when I see how much I’m overcompensating for the ignorance of others. The bar is just too low.

I had some leftover barbecue for lunch and then ducked out early so I could be there for at least part of graduation. TCW was supposed to come run fiber into the house anyway, so I made it home just in time to meet Tony.

It didn’t take long for me to realize he just wanted a super easy install. Evidently they already trenched the fiber to the side of the house, and it was his job to get it inside. He kept wanting to go around the outside of the house, or poke the fiber through a hole in the vents that go under the house. His drill bit ended up being too short to make it through a layer of brick, followed by cinder block. Dad had stopped by for some silicone to fix his rain gauge, and I ended up having him crawl under the house to try and drill outward so we could meet him halfway. Tony called another kid for backup, but he didn’t have a longer bit either. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until after Dad started drilling that the kid even attempted to drill a new hole, and then immediately quit because he didn’t want to deface the brick trying to get into the mortar joint.

We ended up not getting new internet, and we’ll wait for them to come back with a proper sized bit. Leonard’s had 24-inch bits available all day long, but I guess they weren’t authorized to make that purchase. It’ll help them in the future, and I couldn’t believe they didn’t have one in the first place.

After the guys from TCW left, I got a call from Bitec to schedule an interview over a video call. I was a little surprised how quickly they called, and couldn’t even remember the details of the job listing. Looking back, it wasn’t very detailed at all, and seemed like a bunch of generic IT-related stuff, but at more than twice my current salary.

Dad pedaled home, and eventually Summer got home herself. Eaddie was out all night for band awards, but we didn’t go. I had been wound up enough all day, and then aggravated a blood vessel in my foot, so I sat down on the couch for a while. I eventually moved to the computer, and then bed.

Things are harder when you’re an idiot.

Uncategorised

Testing

I did my best to wake with the sun in the sunroom this morning. It seemed easier with the natural daylight, but the blinds will have to be closed to keep the heat out soon. I got to work and Kim was being pretty chatty, so it was hard to do anything, much less start a project. They brought some good barbecue for teacher appreciation lunch, but I think the rest of the week is just smaller treats. I also got a clipboard with a gator burned into the back.

After work, Summer said TCW was parked outside the house, so I quickly fed the fish and headed home. The guy was still there in the van when I got there, but as I walked out to get the mail, he drove off. I don’t know if he was just there to check that buried objects were marked, or what. He didn’t talk to Summer, and neither of us could tell whether he did anything around the house.

Once Eaddie got home, we went to my parents’ house for spring rolls. Julie and Kevin were there, so Julie tried to help us rearrange our dining reservations. I was frustrated because I scheduled things not understanding what time slots were best, or how the restaurants were ranked, and those were really the only two things I wanted help with. The girls weren’t really any help, but by the end of the night I just wanted to cancel the whole trip.

When we left, I had to go by Walmart to pick up an online order before we could get home. When we did finally get home, I noticed that in Summer’s terminal absentmindedness, she had brought an empty beer can from the house into the car when we left. I understand being busy, stressed, or overwhelmed at work, but don’t be an idiot and jeopardize my life.

Applications away.

Uncategorised

I Have Reservations

I woke up before my super early alarm this morning with a shin and calf cramp. I managed to walk to my office so I could try and book some dining for Disney, and it was surprisingly a cinch in spite of the fear Julie had instilled in us. All day, there were still reservations available everywhere. While I was confirming all of that, I called a couple different numbers to find someone that could fix Eaddie’s age in the app, so hopefully that experience will work correctly now.

It’s been hard getting into anything too serious since I feel like I won’t be sticking around long. I still haven’t heard anything from Harry or Blake, even to say they don’t want to meet with me. Maybe they’re just both busy, or maybe they’ve just already made up their minds. Maybe I have too.

My parents wanted me to meet them at Georgia Carpet Mills to pick out some flooring for the old house after work, so I did that and then went to feed the fish before going to Little Caesar’s to pick up dinner for the kids. I had placed my order an hour and a half in advance, but still had to wait for over 20 minutes for them to make and bake my order. I haggled the girl for some dipping sauce, and she kind of gave me side-eye, but I wasn’t having any sass after their miserable operation. I still want to open a store next door called Big Brutus.

Eaddie had a house full of teenagers by the time I got home, and Summer was busy with work calls for a little while. My parents stopped by to eat too, and then Mom sat down on the couch and watched the entirety of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. It was a little warm in the house with so many people there, so Summer and I sat outside for a little bit to cool off after my parents left. I felt sleepy all night, but didn’t really want to go to sleep with everyone still there. The lack of sleep from the night before has made the day a struggle though.

Great, now I don’t know where anything is.

Uncategorised

Thanks for Nothing

Kim was out today, so I came in to an eerily quiet office this morning. Denice was there in the morning, but then left for the entire afternoon. I was relatively productive because of it, but I still felt the sting of burnout after never hearing anything back from Harry about a meeting. He at least opened my talking points document, but I have a feeling I’ll be more productive with the paper plant.

On the way home, Summer called and asked me to pick up Eaddie from the high school. Then we went straight home so she could clean up and go back for her appreciation concert. Summer and I ate some leftovers and then went to the arts center for the show.

The music was good, but I could see why Eaddie has burned out on Katahj Copley. It was too easy for us to spot just based on the descriptions of the music alone. Things didn’t get really bad until they invited the seniors from the concert band back on stage for The Stars and Stripes Forever. Things immediately fell apart for that song, but Summer wanted me to record it so she could just be in the moment.

Eaddie went out for dinner with her father, so Summer and I went home and started researching Disney restaurants, because why plan early? I finally figured that I could just look at the map and pick out a couple names of restaurants that I remembered hearing about ever in my life. For better or worse, I plotted a few to try and reserve in the morning.

Seat’s taken.

Uncategorised

Life Auditor

Traffic was super bad in Dardanelle this morning, but luckily I was early enough to peel out of line and duck into Burger King for a biscuit. Denice had visitors in her office for nearly the entire day, and Kim was in and out between personal calls as usual. It’s burnout city there this week.

I ended up staying late because the auditor needed some help in the front office, and evidently she was just continuing to work past everyone else leaving. I don’t even understand why she had to be on-site if it didn’t matter whether anyone else was there. She got super chatty, and apparently had to look me up after I had talked to her weeks ago because her son knew Julie back in school. She was nice, but didn’t seem to fully grasp all of the bureaucratic crap she was there to do. After I gave her any and all insight I had to offer, she started telling me her life story.

I finally made it home about an hour late, fed the fish, loaded up a few things, and found Summer at home grilling brats for dinner. We ate our really good, no-frills dinner, and then I sat on the couch and watched YouTube with Summer for a while before everyone was off to bed.

Gary, Gary, Ben, and Terry

Uncategorised

I Need a Vacation

I had to go in early again today for testing, though nobody needed me. It was super slow and quiet, aside from Kim. I’ve been feeling the burnout as time runs out to sign next year’s contract, but it looks like Green Bay is hiring for a different position. I don’t know if one of the others left, or if this may be a new position. I’ll need to reach out to Gary to see if he’d like to talk about it.

I left after my requisite eight hours and made it to the old house to feed the fish. Then I got home and Eaddie was getting ready for some band concert that I guess wasn’t open to the public, or at least we weren’t attending. I changed clothes so I could go out on the Onewheel for the first time since my big wreck. It was much more difficult to accelerate since I was still feeling so much pain in my arm. I was constantly afraid of nosediving.

My only plan was to go to Arby’s for a free sandwich, but I stopped by my parents’ house to visit with them first. Julie and Kevin were there for dinner, and I had a little bowl of some sort of taco cornbread casserole that Dad made. I stayed a while just to visit since Julie was there, but then she started talking about a show on Netflix, and Dad mentioned having trouble watching it on the TV. For some reason, Julie was immediately triggered and started yelling at me progressively louder about sponging off of them and letting them pay for a service that they “couldn’t even use” until I finally snapped back at her. Every single person there just sat in silence while she continued to berate me for being a worthless parasite, so I just left.

I slowly rode across town and had to stop behind the forestry service to sob on a park bench for a little while. I only fell down in the street once along the way, at a super slow speed on a super small bump. My wheel just spun up and spat me out, so I laid in the middle of the intersection in defeat.

After pulling myself together downtown, I continued to Arby’s the long way, because I was pretty sure every law enforcement officer in the county was blocking off Detroit under the bridge. I never could see what was going on, but they were there the entire time I rode across town, ate a roast beef sandwich, and rode back home.

Summer made it home after a rough day of her own, and went to bed. Eaddie got home late from her concert and went to bed. I took some blood pressure medicine, and went to bed.

I change my mind. I’d rather plan a vacation.