Strangers Again

Muad’Dib didn’t want me to leave without him this morning. He followed me out and laid down behind my car, so I backed out slowly and tried to drive away. He ran after me, so I backed up to the driveway and Summer had to come get him. He laid down in the street, so she picked him up and carried him back home.

I had an anxiety attack sometime in the morning, and just sat at my desk as it passed. I sat in that room all day, staring at the screens in front of me. I had brought a bologna sandwich for lunch, and then had a conference call with our HubSpot rep at the end of the day.

It kind of seemed like Shane was a little slow to answer the rep’s questions, possibly because they hadn’t really had a sales strategy before, or at least not a formal process. This felt a little odd to basically be told that the business was doing really well without even trying. Obviously I’m still new to that world and lack any context, but it seemed to me that building an efficient and effective marketing and sales strategy could make things explode. I just hope I do a good job for them.

When I got back to town, I stopped to check on Summer at Superfast. She expected to be home after closing, but ended up right behind me when I got to the house. I waited until Mom was home from work and then headed over for dinner. Muad’Dib wanted to go out, so I let him run beside the car. He listened really well as I called out directions to him, and we got a couple stares from people we passed. I ended up stopping to pick up some poop, then drove him the last block.

My parents had left for the grocery store when we got there, so I dipped my toes in the pool while we waited. Once they got back home, Dad and I ate the chow mein while Mom did some more cooking. Then we headed back to the house so I could give Muad’Dib a bath.

It was a quiet night after that, though I would have liked to go to bed a bit earlier. The days feel like they’re getting longer.

left for dead

Breaker Breaker 1-8

I got out early enough to stop at Hardee’s for a Frisco breakfast sandwich on the drive in to work. After driving all the way to North Little Rock yesterday, today felt like a breeze. Teisha wasn’t there yet, so Joel gave me a quick tour upstairs and showed me to my office. It took a little work to get into my laptop due to two-factor and unfamiliarity with their setup, but we eventually got it. I rearranged very lightly until Teisha came to get me and start my paperwork downstairs.

We worked on that for a bit, and then she gave me a tour of the downstairs. It will take me quite a while to familiarize myself with everyone there. When we got to the customer service office, they had a tiny, fluffy dog hanging out in there. I tried not to get too excited, but it would be neat to be able to bring Muad’Dib on occasion.

I finished the morning reading through training documentation, which mostly didn’t really apply to my role, but had to be done. Then I left around lunch time so I could get back to town for my hematologist follow-up. I stopped at Taco Bell in Morrilton to get something to eat on the drive, and ran into Francis as they drove through the drive-through. He stopped to chat, and then I got my order and hit the road.

I was worried about being late, but when I got to Genesis and started to check in, I noticed the clock said I was an hour early. My guess was that the laptop was in the wrong time zone, so I left an hour earlier than I needed to. Fortunately they were able to squeeze me in, and the doctor tried to get me on a lower regimen of iron and a return visit in six months. I suggested instead that I should just call it good and walk away. He seemed surprised, but then agreed that a follow up with my PCP would be good enough to monitor my status before deciding to proceed with any specialist treatment.

When I had just gotten into town, I passed Suzanne and called to see if she wanted to get together. After my appointment, I met her, Dawn, and her dog Elvis at Point Remove for beer and pizza. We chatted for a long while in a mostly empty taproom, and I avoided fussing about stolen valor with their fake service dog.

I went home after that, and Eaddie was in the shower. I discovered Muad’Dib had chewed up a bunch of stuff he had evidently pulled off of Summer’s dresser. I tried cleaning up a bit, and when Eaddie finally presented herself, I addressed the fact that I had disabled her Discover card after I found she had thrown away a bunch of good stuff, including a metal spoon from our silverware drawer. She walked back to her room, left out the pizza box that she didn’t finish, and then came back out to leave, saying she wished I had brought it up sooner. She was super upset, got choked up, and nearly started to cry, which I didn’t completely understand. My goal was to address it with her in a way that wasn’t demeaning or embarrassing in front of her friends the night before, so I really don’t know how I could have approached it any better.

Summer was home shortly after that, and we talked about it. That went fairly expectedly, and then I walked Muad’Dib around the block while she took a bath. He had been outside all day, so I gave him a bath when we got home. The girls talked at some point, and then we all talked together, and then they talked, and then Eaddie came to talk to me. She just wants us to split up, plain and simple. I don’t feel like I’ve been taken seriously as a disciplinarian, and at this point she’s already on her way to living her own life anyway. I’ve done what I can, and I don’t expect to make any sweeping changes on a weeknight after my first day at a new job. Maybe we’ll figure it out tomorrow.

So you’re just gonna like… trust me?

Unvaluable

Eaddie accidentally locked Muad’Dib out on the wrong side of the baby gate last night, so at some point I woke up and he met me on the other side of the closed bedroom door. He slept well with me after that, and I was only a little bit disoriented when my alarm went off to get ready for work.

I stopped at McDonald’s in Atkins for a bagel and made it to work a little late, as planned. My desk had already been scavenged for parts, but I still had my docking station and a couple monitors. I got things set up, and then Randy immediately had me start imaging a couple of laptops for him. I had to fix the OS deployment in SCCM after they had changed some things, but I got everything working well enough.

I probably worked more today than I did the rest of the month. Randy also needed the web server fixed to host student photos, which was easy enough to do. My biggest concern was getting what I wanted copied over and brought home.

Kyle really wanted a Chinese buffet for lunch, so Randy drove us all the way up to Jacksonville since there didn’t appear to be a closer one. Maggie and her youngest, who had been hanging out with us in the office all day, met us there. It was called “New China” and looked very similar to the one in Russellville, but I think they had a better variety of foods. I really liked it. The only big disappointments were the thinness of the egg drop soup and the temperature of the fried fish.

I cut the afternoon short because I had to get across the river to have my blood drawn before my follow up appointment tomorrow. When I got to Genesis, they seemed confused that anyone would tell me to just walk in and have blood drawn, but they got it done after a short wait. I continued toward home after that, through a little bit of rain, and decided to stop at Bitec to confirm my start time and whether I needed to bring anything else with me for my first day. Joel appeared to be the only one there, and suggested that I might bring my two forms of ID just in case any paperwork wasn’t completed.

Summer was making cupcakes when I got home, and Eaddie was preparing to have some friends over for an evening of Guitar Hero. They had me order some Domino’s at a near-extortionary price, which I then went to retrieve with Muad’Dib, because he really wanted an adventure.

Eaddie had one or two new faces over, along with a couple other familiars. They stayed in her room to play while Summer finished the cupcakes. Earlier in the day I suggested that she might just make sure to have some free time to spend with me, but it ended up being a really rough night of aggravation and confirmation of misalignment.

I took out some trash and discovered a nearly-full dumpster. Eaddie had thrown away a bunch of stuff when she cleaned out her room, and an unsurprising amount of that stuff was perfectly good to keep, sell, donate, or reuse. Much of it was brand new, and several were types of things we had recently purchased more of because we didn’t know we had any. I pulled out a small box full of stuff before I became frustrated enough with the constant swarm of flies and mosquitos, and came back inside. I cleaned up a couple of messes that were left behind, fixed some things that were done poorly or outright incorrectly, completed some abandoned laundry, and finally sped through my “me time” before going to bed.

Just because they’re intrusive doesn’t mean they’re wrong.

Keeping Abreast

I woke up at my usual time this morning since we had to make it to Little Rock by 6:45 to check Summer into the Carti Surgery Center. It was immediately clear where the money was going, because it nearly felt like walking into a space station. The chaplain found and greeted us just after we found a seat, and we spoke briefly just to say that we really hoped we wouldn’t need him yet. It wasn’t long before we were called back to register, and a little longer before they called us back to get her prepped.

Dr. Fant said the whole procedure would only take about half an hour, and I was eventually taken back to the lobby as they wheeled Summer off to the back. From start to finish, I barely had time for two cups of coffee. I was taken back for a consult when she was done, and Dr. Fant said everything went really well, and reiterated that it seemed to be erring on the side of caution, but we should know definitively by the end of the week.

From there, I waited a bit longer for Summer to wake up, and then I was taken back to get her ready to go. We loaded up and started toward home, but stopped at Los 3 Potrillos in Conway for lunch. She had her camarones a la crema, and I tried their “Tex-Mex fajitas” which featured the cheapest tasting slices of hot dogs I could imagine. I ate it, but I wasn’t happy about it.

We made it home and I got a text from Dad that cousin Stephen had passed suddenly overnight. We didn’t know anything more than that. Summer was still in a lot of pain, so she went to bed. I combatted a swarm of flies that found their way into the kitchen, and then Eaddie wanted to start Daredevil: Born Again. The first episode seemed very inferior to the original Netflix series in every way. Eaddie actually fell asleep before the first episode was over. Then I took Muad’Dib to Walgreens to pick up Summer’s medicine. On the way home, we rolled by a family running a lemonade stand at the end of their driveway, so we stopped for a premium-priced glass after a 300% tip.

I checked in, and then we continued our run to my parents’ house. Rick passed me on the way home, so I stopped at the end of his driveway to say, “hello.” Tasha and her family were actually on their front porch, so we waved at them too. Then we made it to my parents’ house where Dad had aired up the boat trailer tires to see if we could make it to the lake. Ernie messaged me with the same news, but didn’t have any more to share than what little we already knew.

I stayed for dinner and had some bún bò Huế with Mom while Dad ate something else. Then we made it home where Eli had come over and found Eaddie with bed-head on the couch. They left and I laid down with Summer for a bit after getting her some more medicine. It was a quiet night from that point on. Eaddie left with Eli for a bit, and I fought a bunch more flies. Tomorrow we’ll do some more digging under the house to see if we can find where something might have perished.

NOT AN EXIT

On Second Thought

If I had known we would all end up at the high school, I would have gone straight there in the morning. Instead, we sat around the office for about an hour and then all individually drove over to help Jim move all of his Chromebooks from the library to a holding room. We expected rain, so we couldn’t take them to the shop like we originally planned.

After a bit of sorting and looking for damage, we were done and sitting around. Jim started imaging more of his laptops while everyone else left, so I just sat in the library and worked on the FortiAuthenticator stuff until lunch time. While we were waiting to go, Cheri called with an offer from Tesla. Then Teisha called with an offer from Bitec.

We thought we had a group for lunch since we waited for Kyle, but it ended up just being Jim and myself. He drove us to Mr. Cajun’s Kitchen and I tried their blackened catfish over red beans and rice. I thought it was way too expensive, but it tasted good. After that, I just stayed in the library until quitting time.

The drive home was a bit anxious. I stopped in Blackwell and again in Atkins for a slush since the Casey’s in town always seems to turn their slushy machine off when they have a free deal day. Summer was having a bath when I got home, but then she had to go to Morrilton to check on a truck that was leaking oil after service. I rode with her while the kids took Muad’Dib to the art walk downtown.

Summer was able to tighten the drain plug without any trouble, and we made it back home for some light leftovers. She did some work and we eventually wound down kind of late, considering she had a Conquer the Gauntlet race in the morning in Springfield, Missouri. I may have caught something from handling all the Chromebooks, because I felt a sinus infection creeping in all evening.

I thought by now, you would understand sonder!

Put the Past Away

DNS didn’t actually scavenge anything because it only triggered the aging, so we won’t know for a couple weeks if it actually worked. I guess that’s fine, since graduation was tonight and we won’t have people on site for it to matter. I got back into SCCM to try and clean up the stuck update, and found the right combination and order of commands to fix it, so I was able to re-run the newest update.

Summer was in Little Rock for her own meeting, so we met at Red Lobster for unlimited soup and salad. Just as I parked, I got a call from Bitec to schedule a Teams interview. We ate, and then she came back to the office with me to do some work until her surgery consultation. I guess Randy was in a bad mood, because he kind of flipped out at me when I said I invited her in, but he mellowed out pretty quickly.

Just before the appointment, Summer headed out to find her appointment, but she didn’t actually know where she was going. She got to the address she had in the calendar entry and discovered for the first time that it was just a residential home, and called me crying that she didn’t know where to go. I had already left too, but pulled over at Franklin’s to talk to her. I just told her to call the doctor and see if she could find who they referred her to, since she didn’t even have the business name.

After some Googling and a bit of guesswork, she ended up getting a call from the CARTI Cancer Center, asking if she was going to make her appointment. They guided her in and I met her there after I went to the Baptist Health Breast Center by mistake. We went in for the consult and scheduled an appointment to remove the atypical cellular mass, so that was pretty good news. It didn’t feel like either of us were hugely relieved, but that was probably due to the continued confusion and frustration over the process up to this point.

We finally headed to Conway to Supercharge, and went in to Five Guys to share some fries. She wasn’t hungry, but I decided to try a hot dog that was pretty okay. I still think they’re hugely overpriced, but the location was right. Then we headed home.

As I got to the Pottsville offramp, there was an overturned semi blocking the entire right lane from the westbound onramp. The car in front of me made a full stop before finally pulling over, and it looked to have just happened because someone else had pulled over and was running up to the windshield to check on the driver. There were enough people pulled over that I knew I couldn’t provide any additional help, so I got out of the way.

When I got home, the kids were assembling the headboard I got for Eaddie. I took Muad’Dib out for his first run in a few days, which he enjoyed. We visited Dad, and then I left him outside when we got home, since he took a bath in the creek. I took care of a few Vine things, had an anxiety attack, and then laid down with Summer for a bit before I had to get up and complete my tasks before bed.

You don’t have to say it again. I heard it the first time.

Nothing’s Permanent

I had a pretty lucid morning. I dug into DNS records and made note of anything that looked important that wasn’t set statically. It sounded like some of the others were helping Jim at the high school, but nobody said anything to me about it, so I just sat in the office with Jimmy all day, except for a trip to Taco Bell for a quick and cheap lunch.

The afternoon twitches showed up right on time, I had an anxiety attack, and I just got more and more tense as I made it home through slow traffic. I felt like every muscle in my body was just slowly bound.

Noah and Eli were over and Summer was making dinner. Chicken bits pan fried in some random bottle of sauce she bought, Brussels sprouts that were overspiced enough that Eli nearly choked out, and mashed sweet potato. Exactly what I envisioned.

After dinner, I took Muad’Dib out for a run and we did our best to dodge other dog walkers. The couple of dogs we couldn’t avoid weren’t too much trouble, so it was a good run. We visited Dad for some brushing, then got home and wound down.

That goes doubly for DNS records.

Block Game

I was spinning pretty hard after last night, but I got out of the house and made it to work. I thought I might grab some McDonald’s for breakfast, but ended up munching on a bag of regular Cheerios instead. It was a quiet day, but I managed to fix audio drivers for Jim between getting pulled back and forth to a few other tasks. I went to McDonald’s and had lunch by myself, then fought some anxiety the rest of the afternoon. I had an attack as well, sometime in the afternoon I think.

It barely sprinkled on the way home, but it was clear enough that I could wait until later in the evening to run Muad’Dib. It was nice and cool out, so he ran pretty well. I missed a good photo opportunity when he chased some geese into the flooded pond. We visited Dad for a brush, then got home just after Summer. It was a short night after that.

An ominous landscape of never-ending calamity.

The C-Words

Randy texted on my way in that he would be a couple hours late after last night’s board meeting. Jimmy and I were basically the only two around all day, except for a brief appearance by Jay. Several others were out, but things were still bound to get exciting.

Anita knocked on the door a couple times after Maggie’s and Randy’s phones rang. Sonya in HR was trying to reach us, and was upset that we weren’t at her whim. Anita asked me to call her, and I wished I had recorded the conversation, because she immediately became snotty with me. I killed her with kindness, but just like last time, she hung up on me and basically said somebody was on their way to resolve the issue in person.

Not long after that, Randy did show up with Jacob, and I relayed the story in an emailed record of conversation. I got the feeling that Jacob was over her shenanigans as well. After that, things got super quiet again for the rest of the day. Summer called in the early afternoon to say that her biopsy results came back positive for ductal carcinoma, which sounded like the best case scenario for the threat of cancer. I reassured her the best I could, but she was obviously bothered.

I took a late lunch and ran through Rally’s for a pretty good Super Loaded Buford. The fries were hot and fresh enough to melt away my worries for the amount of time it took me to scarf them down. Randy was somewhere else for most of the afternoon, but came back in time to see that we didn’t leave at three.

When we did leave, I headed across town to check if the Target in West Little Rock had a Samsung The Frame TV on clearance. They did actually have one in stock, but it was still priced more than twice what I was willing to pay, so I had to walk away. While I was there, I guess I got hot on top of being a bit amped up, because my heart rate skyrocketed and I started to get a bit dizzy again. I chewed a fragment of a clonidine I had in my pocket, and it either helped or I just managed to calm myself down enough that it didn’t become an issue.

I headed back across town to Franklin’s Charging to get some juice before Mitch finished with work. As I pulled in, a guy asked me to slide over into another spot to try a different charger. He ended up being the owner, by the name of Jeff. He talked to me for the entirety of my visit, and seemed a proper EV nerd. As we were chatting, another guy pulled up next to me to charge his F150 Lightning. He was John, from AEV Solar, and the two of them continued the conversation as I mostly leaned back and listened. It was neat to hear a bit of Jeff’s journey in growing his business.

I eventually made it to Mitch’s hotel and waited for him to finish uploading some photos from the workday. Then by chance we were able to meet Blake and his friend Alyssa at Southern Tail, where we initially took drinks out to a picnic table at the edge of the property, but later found a table at the patio. We had a good time catching up, but it was definitely more rowdy than last time. We left as it just started to get dark, and I made my way home to the girls.

It rained a bit on the drive, but it was otherwise uneventful. The girls were chatting in the bedroom, so I laid with them for a bit before Eaddie went back to her room, and then it was a quick wind down to bed.

I’d like to say that it’s been real, but it’s been fake as hell.

Passenger

I got out a little late this morning and was pretty jittery right out of the gate, so I just let the car do its thing. I got into the parking lot and only Gary was there, so I turned around and went to McDonald’s for a steak, egg, and cheese bagel before going in. It was a pretty slow start from there, and I spent all day trying to get back into whatever I was doing on Tuesday, but mostly accomplished imaging two different laptops for Randy to take to the girls in public relations.

Charles and I rode with Randy to Larry’s for lunch. I wasn’t very hungry, and actually felt a little sick to the stomach, but I figured it would be good to get out. Jay met us there, but only ate a tiny salad for the same price. Charles was yapping all day long, so I just sat back and tried to ignore the shakes.

The afternoon was really quiet with the lights out and not a lot of traffic. I thought I’d be staying late to hang out with Mitch since he was back in town, but he texted a little after quitting time that he had too much to do tonight, so I headed home.

I got home through a couple short blips of rain. Summer put off making tacos, which I thought was an odd choice after I had Mexican twice yesterday – once with her. I ran the dog, then came home to finish my Taco Bueno leftovers, not because I was terribly hungry, but because I figured I needed to finish it before she made more tacos.

We wrapped up the evening pretty early, so I took the opportunity to try for some extra sleep.

You love how I suffocate.