The Long and Unnecessary
I got up to pack this morning and started to take a shower, but then I thought I heard Julie scream “LET ME OUT” from somewhere across the house. The next thing I knew, Mom was up the stairs looking for her. It didn’t take us long to realize she was just screaming about hot and cold water shifting due to a flushed toilet. I continued packing until it was my turn to shower, and then I came downstairs to help clean up the food we had in the fridge. Julie made omelettes, and I ate mine with some leftover hot pepper oil and the last of the injera.
We got everyone loaded up and out of the house just in time for our late checkout, and someone we presumed to be a housekeeper pulled up just as we pulled out of the driveway. We went to get some food for Bác Tuấn and let the adults go in while Julie and I unloaded the goodie bags we made the night before.
I left her to chat, and when I got back to them, Uncle Tuấn had started feeding himself really well. I thought he was going kind of fast though, and after a little while we realized he was just packing his mouth with food but not swallowing. Bác Trân had him spit out a HUGE wad of food that nearly filled an entire plastic cup, he rinsed his mouth out with some water, and we gave it a rest for a bit. Otherwise he was in good spirits though, and was very lucid.
Dad and Julie spent nearly the entire time talking to the staff to get the real story of what happened to bring us across state lines, and we basically learned that we were there due to poor communication across the board. Lan was visiting fairly regularly and making an effort to care for him, but was not doing a great job of rehabilitating him. Nobody held this against her because she was simply not an occupational therapist, or a doctor, or a professional caregiver. Instead, she was simply acting as a traditional Vietnamese wife trying to do her duty to care for her ill husband. Unfortunately, what we did witness was her loading him up on low value, non-nutritional treats because that’s what he would eat without any fuss. She didn’t want to hear any feedback from us though.
Bác Tuấn was very capable of feeding himself, but did have trouble swallowing. The biggest problem was that he didn’t like the cafeteria food and had been steadily losing weight. From our family conversations/fights, it seemed like Lan, though well-meaning, was doing more to interfere with the care that was being given by the facility. She felt like they were stealing his clothes, and she said she told him not to take all of his medicines. On the other hand, his level of care did allow him to refuse their food and starve himself out. At least Lan was bringing him “things” that he would eat.
We were happy to see that he wasn’t on the brink of death, but the family drama that ensued all week was incredibly frustrating. They had the best intentions, but every single one of the Asians wanted to interfere with the staff who were operating like a fine-tuned machine. Diaper changing times and inspections were done regularly, but not at the pace the family wanted, so they would interrupt staff while they were trying to work elsewhere. I had to chase Bác Trân down constantly and wrangle him away from getting in the way. Not a single one of them wanted to trust the system, but on the other hand, nobody wanted to accept the fact that they would have to pay substantially more for more involved care that Bác Tuấn may not really need in the first place. Instead, the perceived meddling in the situation immediately put Lan on the defensive and made everyone combative. On the other hand, Lan can’t play the poor-English miscommunication card and then turn around and make her own decisions on the best care for him.
We didn’t have very long before Bác Trân’s flight, so Mom called Lan and had her meet us in the parking lot as we were leaving. For some reason, they told her about the gift bags we made for the staff, and she didn’t like that at all. She immediately wanted to interject on our simple act of kindness, and wanted to redistribute them as she felt appropriate, which simply wasn’t the point. Furthermore, it was our act of kindness to perform, with or without her. We had already spoken with those in charge, and were assured the gift bags would reach all of the souls who directly care for our loved one at all hours of every day.
Eventually we were able to shove off and made it to the airport. Bác Trân was able to navigate himself from the drop point, and we killed some time at a restaurant called Paris Bánh Mì. The others had more traditional sandwiches, but I had one on a croissant. I would not recommend that because of how greasy and soggy it got. The sugarcane drinks were good, but may have been from a mix and not actually from fresh sugar cane. Overall I thought it was a super cute place though, and I thought the food was pretty good. They even had Korean corn dogs, so Julie and I split a half sausage/half cheese dipped in Hot Cheetos. She didn’t like it, but I did.
After we ate, we stopped at what was easily the cleanest Oriental grocery store I’ve ever seen. It didn’t smell funky, but had all of the usual goods. Mom said she wanted snacks, but didn’t buy anything, so we headed on back to the airport and waited a few hours for our flight.
While we were waiting, another flight was waiting for a whole new crew. The lady at the desk misspoke and said they were still waiting on a captain, which got a chuckle from everyone in the area. Bác Trân’s flight was delayed and then later cancelled, so he ended up staying the night in the airport hotel. Our flight came in quite a bit later, but we eventually got loaded up and flew home. It was a long flight and everyone was pretty tired, but Julie got us home without incident. I had her stop at the old house so I could turn off the light that the restoration folks left on all week. Then we dropped her off and they took me home.
The dogs knew something was up, so I went out to see them first. They were super excited, but behaved well and just laid down and nuzzled my feet while I scratched their bellies. Summer was asleep, but I let her know I was home and eventually made it to bed after an exhausting week.
Ring around the rosie…
