Tag: sad

Uncategorised

Half Awake

I got to sleep in a little bit from my normal work schedule, but still had to hit the ground running. I had all but a couple of things packed and ready to go and thought I might have enough time to take the dogs for a quick run, but after staying up so late to pack, I just didn’t make it out. Dad felt like we were super late, so he sped over to get me and then had to go back and get Mom, but they could have just finished loading themselves up first.

After a harrowing trip across town, Julie took over and got us to the airport. We got parked, through security, and onto the plane without any trouble or much wait. Things seemed pretty quiet in the airport. We had a straight shot to Charlotte, but then that airport was under major construction. It was a mess getting out of there, but we finally got our rental van and made it to the Airbnb.

It was an old house, next to some brand new construction, all behind a church. It seemed like an odd place, and just a couple blocks away there was a coliseum where Jo Koy would actually be performing on the Saturday after our departure. The house was pretty rough, and it basically looked like someone moved out and filled it with a bunch of cheap furniture to rent out. I suppose it suited our needs at a better price than multiple hotel rooms, but I think I would have preferred something with better housekeeping.

We didn’t get to spend much time settling in because we had to get back to the airport to get Bác Trân. If anyone thought it was a circus before, then I don’t know what it turned into at that point. It was a wonder he didn’t get kidnapped, but with some help from a kind stranger we found him and loaded him up. Julie wanted to look for food, but we went back to the Airbnb first to get him settled. I finally got a call from the Genesis Cancer and Blood Institute to schedule my visit, and of course that’s another two weeks out. Then we ended up going to an Ethiopian restaurant just up the road called Abugida.

We struggled to get some help with the menu at first, but after talking to who I presume was the owner, we ended up on a big platter for all of us to share. It all came with one spoon for serving, and the rest was eaten with our hands. I think it went much better than any of us expected, and the food was great. Mom ended up using the spoon to load her injera, but everyone got fed.

After we ate, we went further into the city and found a Trader Joe’s, which I think was too organic for everyone but Julie. Mom wanted some sweeter coffee creamer, and they didn’t have any eggs, so Dad and I walked to Target a couple of blocks back. Julie drove Mom and Bác Trân to meet us, and we got the rest of what we needed. Importantly, I got some Simply Spiked and mango Blue Moon for Julie and me.

Most of us were up too late once we got back to the house. I eventually had a video call with Summer to catch up. Julie and I sat in the dining area on our laptops for a while, and eventually everyone but Mom and Bác Trân went to bed. They stayed up in front of the TV until the wee hours of the night, talking too loudly and watching gameshows.

Half Asleep

Uncategorised

Those Christmas Lights

Summer got me up around nine this morning so I could get the turkey going. To my surprise, we were approved for the zero percent loan for my new car with a low down payment, so I took care of that and made the final payment before I got started. Then I kept Summer nearby because I wasn’t sure what I was going to need at any given moment. I used my new grinder to grind the spices down for the injection. It worked better, but still ended up clogging. I think it had more to do with the fact that the butter was solidifying in the syringe since the turkey was still cold inside. We eventually got it on the smoker though, and then it was a race to get everything else going. I oiled and salted the potatoes and threw them on the grill as well.

Summer did a bunch of other cleaning and worked on her deviled eggs. I took a shower and then pulled the potatoes off the grill so I could gut them, mash that up, and re-smoke them. We were getting down to the wire, but had a reasonably good morning until I got a text that Mom wasn’t coming. I had my hands full of potatoes, so I had Summer call Dad on speakerphone. I instantly blew my top at her because she wanted to blame my blood pressure, but changing plans at the last minute was what really got me hot.

I got the potatoes back on the smoker and cranked up the heat a bit, which turned out to be a big mistake. I guess there was still some grease at the bottom that caught fire, and my temperature shot up from my set 350ºF to over 500. We pulled the potatoes off and Summer finished them in the oven. I was going to drive over to talk to Mom, but just then Kevin showed up, followed by Julie with various things to unload from the car. Dad wasn’t far behind with even more stuff.

We got everything settled and then I took Dad’s car to go talk to Mom, since he and Julie were parked behind us. I talked to her briefly and apologized for blowing up, but reminded her that a big reason that I agreed to buy our house was so we would have room to entertain the family for the holidays, in a house with as little travel from theirs as possible. It didn’t take much more for her to come back with me, but she insisted that she didn’t want to stay long.

Noah was running behind in the most characteristically unpredictable way, so the seven of us ate. I thought all the food turned out pretty good. After that, we took a break to open presents. Eaddie had the biggest haul and wanted to know what she did to deserve to be so spoiled, but I think everyone felt pretty satisfied. After that, it was a bit of a struggle to decide what to do. I wanted to either watch Red One or start on some dessert, but Summer was busy cleaning up in the kitchen and became unresponsive to anything I asked. Julie ended up putting on Elf and they watched that while a few of us got some dessert.

Dad took Mom home, and Eaddie had Eli come over for some presents. Then they put on the Michael Jordan documentary series or whatever on the TV again. Noah finally showed up at some point and ate food and opened presents. I wasn’t terribly upset that he didn’t end up staying the night. Once everyone else left, the girls and I watched Red One together before bed. We all really enjoyed it for being so creative and unexpected.

I wrapped up the night by making some more turkey soup from the new bones we had. I was up pretty late waiting for it to cool down enough to refrigerate, but I was happy to be done with it right away instead of letting the bones sit for weeks.

Light up the street.

Uncategorised

Down ‘Till Out

I didn’t sleep very long, and it hurt all day. I got up and warmed up the last of the pizza for brunch. Summer did some work from home, and I did a load of dishes. I eventually had a shower and took the dogs out for a nice, long run. Mom and Dad saw me by the roundabout and circled around to holler at me, but there was traffic. We kept running through the neighborhoods until we got home.

I cleaned up some more stuff in the fridge, and roasted the turkey carcasses in the oven so I could make soup. Eaddie was playing in a community concert at Tech in the evening, so we eventually got around for that. Summer and I ran by Walgreens first, but the pharmacy was closed. She needed a lemon, so we ran to the Neighborhood Market for that, then picked up Dad for the concert.

I was surprised at how many empty seats there were, on account of how many people were playing in the band. It was a decent concert for a single day of rehearsal. Then it was back home where Summer crashed and I cooked down the turkey bones into soup. I was up pretty late taking care of that, so hopefully the end product is worth it.

Bone Sifter

Uncategorised

💯

Predictably, I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night. My mind raced, stuck in a maze. I eventually managed to pass out for a couple hours, but then woke up around 2:30 and decided to measure my blood pressure. I had great numbers, but then my mind started racing again and it shot up, again preventing me from going back to sleep. I moved around a bit, and even tried lying on the couch for a little while, but nothing worked. I finally climbed out of bed a little after three and just started getting ready for work.

My pressure rose the entire time, and the lump in my throat that I finally lost in the middle of the night was back. Luckily it was a slow ride in to work and I managed to avoid some frustration there. I was a few minutes early, but to no effect. Randy came in just after me and we chatted a little bit. Once he left for his executive team meeting, I sat in the dark until Maggie showed up.

My numbers weren’t awful, and I snacked for some of the morning. They still got pretty high by lunch, and then a McRib probably didn’t do much to help me. In fact, I kept skating just above 90mmHg diastolic for most of the afternoon, and the clonidine didn’t seem to have much effect. I had left a message for Crystal’s nurse first thing in the morning, but the only call I received was from someone at Baptist that called after receiving my info from the self-care fair.

Randy decided we could work from seven to 3:30, so I took off and beat most of the most annoying traffic home. Summer got there just after I did, and I took the dogs for a run with a little bit of daylight left. We went through the basin and around the roundabout to my parents’ house and up the hill before coming back home.

Eaddie got home just after I did, but spent some time chauffeuring friends before finally coming back home for the night. Summer sat quietly in the living room, and I ate the lettuce with some Miracle Whip and black pepper, then a banana before going to bed super early.

😓

Uncategorised

Keep It Under 100

I didn’t think I slept great, or for very long last night. I actually woke up before my alarm and decided to get up for work. I didn’t even get through the whole routine, but made it out the door early enough to take it easy going in. I didn’t really have any trouble for the drive in, and I think people were glad to see I was still kicking. I took my blood pressure cuff with me, and checked it several times throughout the day. In spite of taking it super easy all day, it got higher and higher to the point that I had to start taking clonidine around lunch time.

I met Randy and Jim at Jacob’s Wings for lunch, and I don’t think those helped me much. I had forgotten their “boneless wings” were more like sliced chicken strips, but they were good. It was a super quiet lunch, and then I headed back to the office to charge.

The afternoon was quiet too, and I tried to sneak out a little bit early to try and avoid traffic. I could feel the frustration rising, but I never really got a lump in my throat or felt bad at all. I made it home where Summer had been cooking turkey dumplings for dinner. I took the dogs out for a quick run in the dark, and they were pretty great. I almost slipped and died because the basin trail had flooded and left a slick layer of silt on the sidewalk, but I stuck the landing. We made it to visit Dad, then back home in good time.

I was excited at first when Summer and I sat down to eat, but that quickly turned to more frustration. She pulled the meat off of my turkey bones that I was going to use for soup, and didn’t actually cook any of the bones for her dish. That would have made it better than using powdered chicken broth. She also added heavy cream to the broth, as well as my entire container of turkey gravy for some reason. Her mood of course went sour the instant she knew I wasn’t happy about it. Since she was on a hot streak with the food, she also failed to run the correct cycle on the dishwasher.

I ended up leaving the dumplings at the table and pulled out the rotting salad she had forgotten in the fridge instead. I sorted out what was still edible and planned to eat it, but my blood pressure got too high. I took my third clonidine for the day and tried to calm myself down, but just kept upsetting myself further. I really don’t know how to fix any of this. I’m pretty sure living together is killing me.

Eaddie got home super late from something, but Summer couldn’t say what. I just had to separate myself and get to bed as quickly as I could.

I’m used to not having anyone on my side.

Uncategorised

Elon, Take the Wheel

I let the car take the onramp all the way to the offramp this morning, and only had to intervene once when it stupidly tried to pass in the right lane a block before it would have had to turn into the office parking lot. I just don’t get why it does obviously stupid things when it does so well at other times.

Randy wasn’t feeling well and ended up leaving after lunch. Nobody else came around, so I just went to Arby’s by myself and hung out there for the hour. I didn’t get into anything super complicated, and actually spent most of the morning waiting for Randy to show me a couple things, so I’m still feeling a little bit lost a lot of the time.

The morning happened to go by super quickly, so of course the afternoon dragged on. I decided to take the next two days off for recovery, so I headed home and then immediately took the dogs out for a walk. We went backwards this time, and went to the pond first to get a bit muddy. Then we stopped by my parents’ house before going up the hill and through Pinewood before making it home, where we took one more lap around the block before stopping.

Eaddie and Eli ate salad crap that Summer brought home, and I left out of frustration when I found an empty condiment shelf in the refrigerator. I ended up going to KFC to pick up a Famous Bowl, and then I went to the city park to eat at a picnic table. I sat there and enjoyed the weather for a while before going to the old house to check things out. There weren’t any toilets, so I ended up leaving sooner than I expected.

I didn’t want to go home though, so I immediately started Full Self Driving without a destination, just to see where the car would take me. I wondered if it would choose turns, or if it would just keep trying to drive straight as long as it could. It ended up taking a right at the stop sign, which made me think it was going to default to taking me home. It made it all the way across town, but then took the first exit out of the roundabout, which put me back on 12th Street all the way to Glenwood. There, it took its only left turn the entire night, and took me up to 2nd Street. There, it took another right and got through the stops all the way to the traffic light. It tried to proceed through green, but then hit the brakes hard right in the middle of the intersection because it couldn’t see the street. There just happened to be another car coming from the other direction, so the headlights probably didn’t help the matter. I pressed the accelerator to carefully nudge it through the intersection, and it continued on as if nothing had happened.

It ended up at sort of a dead-end, so it took a right and went nearly all the way to Oakland Heights before it took a sudden right to get back over to Detroit. Then we headed north, all the way over the tracks, and then took the first right out of the traffic circle on that side of town. It took me around the Parker Road bend, then all the way up the steep hill to get to Highway 124. We drove by the girls’ old house and ended up on the intersection of 124 and Weir Road. It took me back toward town all the way to Main Street before taking a right and going all the way over the bridge. After we made it through downtown, I finally told it to take me home, and it did. We made it just over 15 miles over the course of 35 minutes with absolutely no interventions, and I really only stopped because the battery was low and still hadn’t recovered from my drive back from work.

Summer was already in bed. Eaddie saw Eli out, I took out the trash. Eventually sleep.

Adventures with Machines

Uncategorised

Experience Depreciation

I got up extra early today so I could try and beat the new guy to work, but that failed for multiple reasons. I stopped at Taco John’s for breakfast, which ate up all of that extra time, but he also showed up a full hour early. Todd had already given him the tour, and as I would learn later, Samuel had actually given him a tour the week before last, while I was still there. In fact, Samuel was the one that called him the week that Blake told me they weren’t going to keep me, and told him they were looking for a new Tech Coordinator. The entire thing has been super shady, and it just made my day worse and worse until the end.

I walked around with him again and we visited all of the switch closets in the high school and elementary. We didn’t bother going anywhere else, and I probably won’t, except maybe Plainview to see if there’s anything out there that I want for myself. Maybe I could get lucky and find some rails.

We had several waves of kids come in for password resets, but otherwise it was relatively quiet. I had to keep telling him that I wished him the best of luck in spite of how crappy they’ve been to me, but secretly I just hope he gets the same and leaves them in a short amount of time. It’s just not fair that I invested all of that time and effort to fix so many major problems, and he gets to come in and ride the calm seas at a higher rate of pay with two fewer years of school experience.

I was the last one out of the office, and I had already relinquished my keys, but luckily Keith was there and I could borrow his to lock the office. I headed toward home and fed the fish, and got gas at Casey’s. Summer was making a baked spaghetti with pink sauce when I got home, and I just held her for a bit before I got changed and went out to sit with the dogs.

Summer called Eaddie home for dinner, and the three of us ate. Julie called because she saw a Cybertruck in town and thought it might actually be me. Then I went out for a run with the dogs. They did super well, ran hard, had some mostly solid poops, and for the most part weren’t too bad about getting distracted until the very end. It got dark fast, so we only stopped at my parents’ house long enough to say, “hello.”

I wound down pretty quickly, and everyone was off to bed. It was an awful, emotional, maddening day of being the better person, and the frustration of living by an unmatched code of integrity just made me incredibly sad.

And either I’m right and justice is never served, or I’m wrong and I go to Hell anyway.

Uncategorised

Nobody Asked You Patrice!

I caught the dogs in the act of digging under the fence this morning, and in spite of being in trouble, they were super excited to see me. I gave them some pets and treats with the hopes that they would stick around, and tried to cover up their start of a new hole, but they got out again while I was in the shower. As I was walking out the door, a new neighbor stopped to let us know. Summer woke up and got the front door just as I was discovering they weren’t in the back yard. Luckily we were able to get them back inside without too much trouble, but they were pretty high-energy.

There was no time for breakfast, and traffic was stupid. I got to work a little over 10 minutes late, but again, the place was mostly a ghost town. I submitted my vacation request form, though technically my contract will be over by then, and they don’t have to hire me again. I’m playing this one by ear. I ended up in Blake’s office and chatted with him for a while, and then a guy came in with three big bags of sweet corn for the school. I eventually got some for the office, and then took some home at the end of the day.

Other than that, my big human interaction was when Troy stopped by and actually sat down and chatted with me a little bit. I thought that was kind of neat, but I’m sure he mostly just needed a break from the heat. I eventually headed home and fed the fish.

I got to the house just as Summer was finishing up dinner. She thought it would be a good idea to cut up the leftover dried chicken and form patties with egg and bread crumbs. They were even dryer than the chicken was by itself, and it made no sense at all. I rolled the grill out and cooked some corn while I played with the dogs for a while. It sprinkled with a little thunder in the distance, and the dogs stuck around on the porch. It was really nice that we didn’t have to hunt for them at all today.

I wish they were trained well enough to take to work.

Uncategorised

Digdog

I checked on the dogs as soon as I got out of bed, and they had already dug their way out. I figured they were hanging out with a neighbor, but I never saw them when I eventually left for work, and neither of the girls looked for them in the morning. It was a long day at work without knowing anything.

I had another bagel and kept fairly busy with some more trivial stuff that may have actually been clues as to what keeps breaking parts of my network. Then at the very end of the day, I walked in on Harry watching a Strong Bad video in his office. I had to laugh, because I had just texted Gary a GIF of Salad Fingers earlier in the day. I told Harry that we hadn’t had much time to build rapport with one another, but that we were going to be good friends.

After work, I fed the fish and then headed home to try and find the dogs. I probably rode over 10 miles on the Onewheel, but forgot to start logging my ride at first, so I think I captured way less than half of my total ride. I stopped by my parents’ house once just for a quick break, and then again later to eat since Summer wasn’t hungry when she got home.

I lingered around outside for a while, but never saw or heard anything. I did find a couple other dogs loose in the neighborhood, so maybe they’ll still turn up, but I’m not particularly hopeful. If they don’t come back, I hope they find a better home.

Good boys.

Uncategorised

Roped Up

I actually managed to leave a bit early today, and grabbed a bagel on the way to work. My first order of business was to review camera footage to find who took my network equipment. Failing that, I just texted Todd and he fessed up to it. I don’t know that I believe he just “borrowed” it out of a need, more than “took it” to see if I would notice. At least I should be getting it back now, and I went ahead and placed a couple cameras in the core closet.

I spent much of the rest of the day building maps in VI MonitorPlus, so hopefully finding the right camera will be a bit easier now. Otherwise it was super quiet all day long. Becky said they were leaving a little early, so I didn’t wait behind.

Eaddie said she was going to Clarksville and Summer said she would be home a little late, so I fed the fish and then headed home to play with the dogs. Only Stilgar was around, and I considered that Muad’dib might have just run off for good. I put a leash on Stilgar and took her out for a walk on a rope to the end of the street. She did pretty well on the way out, but got stubborn on the way back and didn’t want to move. Maybe it’s the name. Stilgar fit when it was a scruffy-looking boy, but I don’t know if it’ll still be a good name for a mother, if that’s really what’s happening.

Once we got back home, I took the Onewheel around the block to look for Muad’dib, and ran into the neighbors as they walked their own dog down the street. She said he had been chilling out on their porch, so she returned him. I think he got out a couple more times in the evening, so I’ll need to fix that since the girls haven’t been able to do it themselves in a week’s time.

Summer eventually made it home, but wasn’t fit to go out anywhere. I had a coupon for some cheese dip from Stoby’s, so I went out to eat by myself. It was quiet there too. When I finished, I headed home and pet on Stilgar some more, but Muad’dib didn’t come around. He was probably in the neighbor’s yard again. Maybe Summer will have a new home for him soon.

dip