Tag: sad

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Long Distance Pool Party

We lost power briefly last night, and I woke up gasping because my battery backup just doesn’t have any life left in it. I got back to sleep after a reset, and eventually got up to eat a leftover waffle. Summer did her nails and watched TV, and I got ready for my trip to the Springdale Pool Lounge.

I couldn’t find anyone to ride with me, so I made the trip alone. I stopped in Alma to charge, and went into Harp’s for some food since the pool hall wouldn’t have any. I got some pretty good chicken strips and a hilariously small serving of potato wedges, but it was all more than enough.

I got to Springdale about half an hour late after all of that, but it looked like they were just getting settled in anyway. There weren’t a bunch of people, but we had a good time and played a few rounds of some pretty bad pool. We were only there for about three hours before we had to give up the reserved tables, and then we parted ways.

I stopped by the Hawaiian Bros just up the road and had a little bit of food, but brought most of it back home. I had to stop in Alma again to charge for a little bit, and then wound down for bed.

Don’t get distracted by all the pretty lights.

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Talko Boosday

I felt pretty terrible this morning, but we managed to get to work before eight. It was a super slow recovery until lunch time at Ortega’s. I think I had an anxiety attack somewhere along the line. Later in the afternoon, one of the guys called for help with HubSpot, and of course I knew nothing. At least tech support couldn’t help either.

We left a little early to get to therapy, though we’ve been starting late enough that I think I can leave at my regular time and still make it. Summer was busy until just after five, and even then we had to wait for Dwayne to come let us in.

We ended up sitting outside with Muad’Dib and his little dog, Lucy. They played more than we talked, and I was a little surprised at Summer’s recollection of the weekend. I haven’t been very happy with our sessions so far, so I don’t know how much longer I’ll be interested in going.

Summer had a meeting, so I went to the house and cleaned up a little. Eaddie was in the shower when I got there, but left shortly thereafter. Summer eventually came home and seemed continually troubled, but didn’t know why. She went to bed pretty quickly, and I followed soon after.

Uninteresting

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Decompresso

I just barely crawled out of bed this morning from the exhaustion I felt after this weekend. We managed to get to work, but only after I saw a notification that McDonald’s had $1 Egg McMuffins . We soldiered on, and made a little bit of progress all day.

It was nice out, so we went to Sonic for lunch and just enjoyed some time outside. The afternoon went by fairly quickly after that. We stopped by the old house to pick up a couple of things, and talked to David from next door for quite a while. He seemed excited just to see a neighbor. Then we made it home to an empty house.

Summer was at the gym for a while after a trying day. Eaddie had eaten my leftovers, so I had some drinks while I cleaned up in the dining room. It was a quiet evening until bedtime.

I have not been myself for most of my life.

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PackItShipItCleanItUseIt

I really had one main goal at work today, and I got that done. An insurance adjuster also came out to look at my car. Just before lunch, I had a really ignorant support call, and then I met Summer at Chopsticks. The afternoon went by relatively quickly after that, and we got home to get ready for our trip.

Summer got home shortly after we did, and we cleaned out her car. Then I gave Muad’Dib a really good bath, cleaned up a little more, and ended up running him to my parents’ house to see Dad kind of late. I could tell Muad’Dib really needed the run, because he took off in front of me and nearly made it to the end of the street by the time I got out of the driveway.

We never actually packed up, so it’ll be an early morning of that before we go.

FlipItReverseIt

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Motions

I forgot it was Tuesday until mid-morning, and then I got excited for Ortega’s. It was a really quiet day otherwise, and I just tried to pick a project and focus so I could get a project done before the end of my week. Summer didn’t stop by to eat with me, so I just had a couple big plates by myself in the corner before finishing up the afternoon. I did get a call from David’s insurance company, and they got a minimal amount of information from me at the end of the day.

On the way home, Summer asked me to stop and get her some Zaxby’s for dinner. That was pretty quick, and then she ate in front of the TV while I cleaned up a little bit. I laid down on the couch with her for just a little bit, but I wasn’t interested in her NCIS, and she wasn’t getting up to do anything else. I did get a call from an insurance adjuster to schedule a meet tomorrow, and then I started a big load of laundry that I struggled to finish before bed.

They’re gonna burn it down.

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Square Wheel Keep On Turnin’

I woke up hungry today, but I tamed that with a Soylent. I’ve been under-stimulated and under-motivated, but I played around some more with PiSignage and its less-than intuitive interface. I didn’t decide on lunch until we got outside, and then decided on Wendy’s. Muad’Dib looked back at me through the windows with jealousy, so he got a treat when I finished. Then I let him run back to the office from the very end of the street. That boy misses the Onewheel as much as I do.

The afternoon was a little more focused, but only just. The drive home had more traffic than I expected, which got worse as we got to town. I should have let the car take the first exit like it wanted. It knew better than me. We ended up going around our normal route at the last exit, and finally made it to the house.

The girls were home so we could chat about Eaddie’s band trip, but I guess I had figured most of it out before I got there. I wanted to book a hotel, but that didn’t happen. They got distracted by the television, and then I warmed up food for Summer and myself. We just can’t all stay focused on one thing ever. Then I got upset with Eaddie because she and Eli left about a quarter of a steak worth of scraps in the trash, which I fished out for Muad’Dib.

I thought I had caught a rat because I didn’t see my bait, but evidently something got to it without falling in. I added some more bread, then started some laundry to finish up the night.

I don’t wanna wait

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The Cat’s Outta the Fence

I felt a little better this morning, and stayed fairly physically busy all morning trying to make a patch cable out of some crappy, old wire. I went through a couple sets of ends before I gave up in favor of a different option. We went to Arby’s for lunch, and then I called to reserve a room for the Cavalcade of Magic when we got back to the office.

We were parked and sitting in the car, and Muad’Dib and I watched as a cat stalked through the grass on the other side of the fence that divides our property from the Interstate. I was still wrapping up my call when he started whimpering. The cat was out of sight and I thought Muad’Dib had given up, but as soon as I let him out, he ran out the front gate and leapt over a part of the fence that was leaned over. I wasn’t even sure he would be able to get back across due to the way the fence was leaning and how far he jumped. Luckily the cat ran back toward me instead of toward the highway.

They ran toward the building, and then the cat got into the drainage pipe that goes under the road, so luckily Muad’Dib didn’t fit. I got hold of him and gave him a good kick to the rear, then dragged him back to the car to get collared. We went inside and it wasn’t long before we were called down for cake to celebrate Elizabeth’s upcoming wedding.

We surprised her in the breakroom, had cake, and visited briefly before finishing up the afternoon. I got a text that counseling could be in-person tomorrow, so I got permission to leave at lunch time and finish the day from home. We got to the house a little while after Summer, though she was still sitting in her car when we got there. She bathed and I ate some leftovers, and then we watched YouTube as she passed out on the couch.

After she went to bed, I finished the evening filling out a bunch of intake paperwork for tomorrow. For now, it’s more of the same.

At least one of us has laser-focus.

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MexiMash

I had been looking forward to lunch at Ortega’s all week. I didn’t really figure Grant would show up, but that was okay. Summer didn’t leave town either, so I just ate alone. I think this may have been my best plate yet, with a tostada, chalupa, chicken enchilada, and chili con queso. I threw some chip crumbs on top, and basically had some epic nachos. I felt a little woozy in the afternoon, but we survived.

Kaleb stopped in for help with some SharePoint nonsense, which still confuses me, but it worked well enough for him. I struggled with some HubSpot reporting for the rest of the afternoon and left no better. We stopped in to Brown’s for a gift card, and then Summer encountered us at the El Paso intersection and followed us to Ridgewood where I got another gift card just from myself.

When we got to the house, Summer and I had a heated conversation about her having to open and then work late again tomorrow to repair a broken belt at the wash. She was told not to go, but insisted that she wanted to, and she didn’t seem to understand how this felt like she was choosing work over family yet again.

We talked a bit, she bathed, and then we sat in front of the TV, flipping through YouTube until bedtime. Nothing else written or discussed, cleaned or dust’.

Wax off.

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All or Nothing

Friday was good until it got bad enough to become good again. I stayed pretty busy at work, but struggled in the afternoon as the girls went looking for houses. I stopped by PetSmart when we got back to town, because I needed something to interrupt how I was feeling, and I got Muad’Dib a bunch of treats. Mark needed some computer help as well, so I stopped to see him for a bit too. When I got home, I managed to sit down and talk with Summer for a long while, and eventually we were able to agree that they would slow down long enough to breathe and catch back up from all the recent heaviness. We’ll give it three months without any more of that added stress, and focus on some therapy and heavy communication to see if we can maintain some momentum with our positive change. Eaddie came around and I took them to Waffle House for a late dinner, and we had a good time.

Eaddie was gone all Saturday, so I took Summer to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. They were depressingly slow compared to Old South, and after eating our food, we figured out why. We went back to PetSmart to use another coupon for some food, and then briefly stepped into T.J. Maxx before making it back to the house. We cleaned up a bit and stayed busy most of the afternoon until we decided to go to New China for dinner. I wanted to stop to see my parents on the way back, and Summer nervously went along. Mom had a surprising amount to say, and Summer came home upset for a while, but we talked a little more before bed and then woke up with clearer thoughts.

Summer got some Spam and I made breakfast sandwiches for the three of us. Eaddie left and Summer went to the gym, and I cleaned up the kitchen. Later on, we walked to Walgreens with Muad’Dib to try and get Summer’s prescription, but they were closed. I eventually warmed up some spaghetti for dinner, and at some point the day before we had started watching Wonderman, so we continued that in the evening until bed.

Document the process and build a roadmap to success.

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But They Were, All of Them, Deceived

Summer went in to open this morning, and I did a pretty good job of staying on task most of the day. I stopped to make an Instant Pot split pea soup for a late lunch, expecting Summer to be home just after one. She texted to have Eaddie get dressed to go pick up her car from Maristella’s, but after they were gone for a while, I saw that they had actually been looking at a couple of rental houses, and never even drove by Maristella’s. I texted, then called, and her response was that they weren’t trying to be deceiving, but discovered the new listings and wanted to check them out while they were in town.

I had to take a break to shower, and then we sat down to talk when they got home. There are just so many layers of trauma to peel back, and we’ll never be able to get through it all alone. I felt like we had a good talk, but Summer hated it. I think if we can at least commit to some therapy, it will go a long way.

Eaddie left with Eli for a while, so Summer and I ate some soup. I sat with her for a while, and tried to comfort her the best I could. For now, we continue to ride the waves.

Tough Nut