Tag: anxiety

Uncategorised

Unbirthdays

We caught another, much larger rat overnight. Then, in a change of pace, Summer and I swapped roles this morning. She went to the gym while I did some work from home. I wanted to tinker with the server some more, and finally got everything wiped and the proper version of Windows Server installed. I also wanted to get Hyper-V running by the end of the day. Eaddie had a recital and some other stuff to do for school, so she was gone for the early afternoon.

Dad wanted to get pizza to celebrate his birthday early since just a few of us would be going to Hot Springs next weekend for Maxwell Blade’s final shows. We ran a little bit late, but I eventually rode Muad’Dib over on the Onewheel while the girls followed behind in the car. Julie and Kevin stayed home because they weren’t hungry and Kevin took a nap.

We ate, and then planned to go see Julie and Kevin. The girls had other things to do, so they went back to the house. I sent them off prematurely with my Onewheel though, because Julie wanted some time to take a shower first. I had Eaddie come back for me on her way out for the evening, and I took the time to dispose of the rat.

I took it back by my parents’ house first just to show off. Then I took it up to Washburn Park where I relelased the other one last night. This one was larger and seemed less afraid of me, because it would look around through the trap at me as my hands moved all around. It scurried off into the woods, and I continued across town to Julie’s house.

I just barely beat my parents there, and we sat and visited for a while. Kevin was mostly immobile, but seemed to be doing really well. Julie was doing well, but was exhausted from having to entertain others that wanted to check in on the both of them. I could relate, because for all the nice deeds, seldom does she have time to actually do the very basic household chores that need to be done. Sometimes some peace and quiet is gift enough.

We eventually left, and I made it to the house just before Eaddie got back. I cleaned up a bit, then tinkered with my server some more before having an anxiety attack and finally getting to bed.

Remoteception

Uncategorised

Soda Pressed

I accidentally slept in much later than I wanted today, while Summer went to a 5k in Danville. I woke up just as she was almost home, and had to race to get ready for lunch at Ben’s. She got home and went to get stuff for guacamole, and made that while I gave Muad’Dib a bath. We finally got out of the house and headed to Conway, completely forgetting to bring any boxes, or even empty my trunk for what I would be bringing home.

We got there and it looked like the kids were mostly done eating. They had grilled chicken and zucchini with some chips, and we brought the guacamole and more chips, and some drinks. Lunch was pretty light and quick because we were panicked after Muad’Dib tried to mark his territory in the house after playing with their tiny dog, Maple.

After we ate, we headed upstairs to try and disassemble the soda gun, along with everything in the supply closet. It ended up being quite a bit more than I expected, between a water filter, a mini fridge with a hole cut in the side for cooling the lines, and just a bunch of syrup that basically went everywhere. We only had to cut a couple of lines by the end of it all, and syrup only got a little bit of everywhere. We borrowed a plastic tub to hold all of that stuff, and somehow managed to fit most all of it in the trunk. The mini fridge had to ride in the back seat with Muad’Dib.

We unloaded all of that stuff in the storage unit since we have almost no room at the house right now. Then I ended up ordering some Little Casesar’s after a while for dinner. The kids went to the Cyclone Extravaganza to hang out with some younger friends, and Summer went to bed. I piddled around for quite a while and eventually got there myself after having a brief anxiety attack.

What a sticky situation.

Uncategorised

Kid Napping

We stopped for a surprisingly good Burger King breakfast as we left town, and then spent the morning confirming known static IP addresses. Muad’Dib and I went to Wendy’s for a quick lunch, but he had to wait in the car. I thought I had discovered PLCs and had Charles walk me through the plant to look at the logic controllers again. When we got back to the office, Janice said Muad’Dib had been crying for me and waiting by the door the whole time. By the end of the day, David advised me that what I had found were actually wireless camera bridges, so it wasn’t a total loss, but it wasn’t quite as helpful as I had hoped.

We stopped to get my axe from the old house, then went by Superfast Splash to see Summer before making it to the house. Eaddie was there, but only briefly before leaving for more marching practice. I had an anxiety attack that came and went, and then once Summer got there, we went to Tacos 4 Ever. I gave in to the excitement of our server’s eyes as he described an off-menu offering of enchiladas covered in shredded beef and red sauce. It was good, but a bit cheesy for my taste, especially after I had also given in to Summer’s desire for cheese dip.

I took Muad’Dib for a run once we got back to the house, and he started out super slow. When we got to the Promenade, we encountered three white adults walking with a very small Hispanic girl. They asked if I knew her, and thus began my part of the quest to find her home. The older lady said the girl was lost and came knocking on her door, and I guess the other two came along to help. We circled the Promenade and I stopped by James’s house to see if maybe he or his kids knew her. He didn’t immediately answer the door, but he came out after I sent him a text explaining why I was ringing his doorbell in the middle of the night. Fortunately he could point us to her house, and she was reunited with a mother and older sister who didn’t even realize she was gone from her nap. The sister said this wasn’t even the first time it had happened.

Muad’Dib and I continued around to see my parents, and finally back to the house where we quickly wound down for bed.

help is on the way

Uncategorised

F2025

Johnny called me while I was getting ready for work, so I called him back on the drive in. He said after his mother’s seizure, they finally discovered a tumor and gave her six months to live. We talked for the whole drive, and then I called Clint to check on him once I got to my office. The rest of the morning was more IP scanning and hunting for rogue statically-set devices. Summer was in Little Rock, so she stopped to see Kevin and Julie at the hospital while she was up there.

Muad’Dib and I went to Arby’s and sat on the curb again, and he ate a bunch of my fries and Beef ‘N Cheddar. I put him in the car when I wasn’t outside with him, so he never had the chance to run away. Later in the afternoon, we had a break for some cake for Tammy’s birthday. The drive home was entirely autonomous, and we actually got to see Eaddie for a moment between school events.

Summer and I eventually made it over to my parents’ house for spring rolls. Muad’Dib and I did our Onewheel run and met her there, and then we finished our shortened run after dinner. It was a quiet night because I’m pretty sure I’ve had a blood pressure related headache for the past couple days. Then I had an anxiety attack just as I went to put on my blood pressure cuff. It was off to bed after that.

Efitol Rx

Uncategorised

Look! It’s Raph!

Last night was filled with nonstop dreams. Muad’Dib snuggled tightly between us, and I only woke up a couple of times, but each time I was in the middle of another wild, random dream. I couldn’t get up when my alarm went off, so I snoozed for ten more minutes and still had more dreams.

I felt mostly lost in subnets and VLANs today. We finally took a break and went to McDonald’s for lunch, but Muad’Dib just had to wait in the car. I had another anxiety attack at some point, but I haven’t been thorough in tracking when they happen. Summer was trying to nap when we got back to the house, because she opened and then had to go back to work to do some maintenance after hours. She woke up and I tried chatting with her for a little while before she had to go back to work.

Muad’Dib and I rode straight over to my parents’ house because I was afraid to go too far after carrying my board half a mile yesterday. Mom had the last of the fish soup left on the stove, so I finished that before we left. We headed straight back to the house and I gave Muad’Dib a double bath because I pulled four ticks off of him throughout the day. He sat in flea treatment, and then had a nice, herbal shampoo in preparation for our evening out tomorrow with the boys.

Yeah! A little too Raph!

Uncategorised

Board to Tears

I grabbed Hardee’s and ate my biscuit and gravy on the drive in to work this morning. Muad’Dib was super pumped when we got there, and kept bouncing all over the office to see everyone. We settled in pretty quickly though, because Charles asked me about some IP addresses for a project we’ve got, and it occurred to me that I still didn’t know how any of that was set up through our firewall.

I studied most of the day in a bit of a panic, again feeling underqualified. I eventually sent an email to the MSP that helped with the HA setup, to see if they could help walk me through some of the configurations. We took a late lunch to Arby’s for a ham and cheese. There wasn’t a table or bench outside, so we just sat on the curb and shared the sandwich in the sun. Muad’Dib was super well behaved, though he did drool on my pants out of excitement while waiting for a bite.

The afternoon went by comparitively quickly after such a long morning. We made it back to town and I had an anxiety attack in the car just as I pulled into the garage. Once Summer got home for her break, we went to my parents’ house for spaghetti, and then she had to go back to work to close shop.

I took Muad’Dib out for a run, and he sprinted the better part of a mile. He did great, we stopped to see Dad, and then I had board trouble on the way back to the house. It happened once yesterday, but tonight it started flashing red, sounding its haptic buzz, and reported that the battery needed to be charged. The only problem was that the battery was reporting over 70% remaining.

I carried the board back for a little over half a mile, took a quick shower to cool down, then submitted another serivce ticket before bed.

Could use a little moon shine.

Uncategorised

One Step Two Step Red Step Blue Step

Kevin checked in to see if I contacted Diamond Ridge, and ended up calling Jon to get things moving for me. I wanted to be respectful of his time and work/life balance, but Kevin gave me Jon’s personal cell to work things out.

Rhonda got a little fussy about the automation I created for shipment documentation, but without invoking more human involvement, there wasn’t much I could do to improve the automation. It seemed simple enough to sort files by date, but after our conversation about phone storage the other day, I don’t guess I was surprised to hear she felt it was impossible to find what she needed.

Muad’Dib and I went to Sonic for lunch again since it was still nice out. We shared a toaster, but he couldn’t have any onion rings. I did risk giving him some of the breading though. Later in the afternoon, I was invited downstairs for some leftover ice cream with the team.

Jon called on my way back home, and said he would have someone visit us tomorrow. I stopped at AT&T to see Kevin, and brought Muad’Dib inside. He was busy with a customer, but Hope came out and found me. We chatted for a while, and Kevin would come over periodically while his customer was, presumably, transferring stuff between devices.

I left there and stopped to see Summer at the wash, and tried to vacuum Muad’Dib’s seat protector. That went fairly poorly, so I’ll just need to remove it and shake it out. It wouldn’t hurt to hose it off either. As soon as I got to the house, Muad’Dib and I rode over to my parents’ house for fish soup.

After that, the girls were home and I sat down to talk with Summer for a while. Then we tried to find something to watch on the bedroom TV, but she fell asleep almost immediately.

A Leash Called “Obedience”

Uncategorised

Out of Tune

I had a slow start and got to work a little later today. Muad’Dib seemed to be having a little trouble himself, and kept licking himself as smells happened. He eventually perked up, and didn’t appear to make a mess anywhere, but I was a little concerned. I tried to dig through some more 365 documentation, but I just kind of hate it so far. I had an anxiety attack at some point, but rolled on as usual.

Summer was supposed to come have lunch with me, but she ran a couple hours late without saying a word about it. I finally texted to find out what was going on, and she said she wasn’t going to make it. Then I suggested I could pick up pizza so she could just stop in to eat at the office, and she was in for that.

Pizza Hut had a strange drive-through orientation, but it worked surprisingly well. I got in and out of there, and then stopped by Casey’s for a deal on some wings since I was still waiting on Summer anyway. I let Muad’Dib out to walk around for a bit in the heat, and then tried to leave him outside while I ran in to get the food. It took almost no time for him to take off and find a family at one of the gas pumps. Luckily he didn’t get far, and he ran right back to me. I put him in the car after that, since the wings weren’t anywhere near done.

Summer just barely beat me to the office, and I was reminded that they had ice cream and Italian ice as a gesture of employee appreciation. Most everyone was in the break room and introduced themselves to her in a flurry. Muad’Dib was getting nosey, so we went upstairs to eat. I walked Summer back to her car and then had some Italian ice myself with Rhonda in the breakroom. I don’t know why, but I got chattier than I usually do. I guess I’ve just spent more time talking to her than most anyone else at the office so far.

The afternoon was tough because I was exhausted from going to bed so late after last night’s panic. We made it to the end and headed home. Dad had met Brandon from Dream Builders Construction to get a quote, and he came back almost immediately with a total of $5,100 that didn’t appear to include a tax calculation. It also looked like he was less thorough than R&R, who Dad had called. They finally came back with a quote after a week that also considered blowing new insulation for a total of $6,936.47. For a thousand more, it sounded like R&R may be better equipped to do the whole job, but I don’t know.

The evening was pretty quiet. Summer took a bath for a while, Eaddie left for Eli’s, and I shut in to do some long-overdue Vine reviews. Once the sun was nearly down, I took Muad’Dib for a quick run, and then raced to bed.

EXTI

Uncategorised

Wooden Do It

Summer had to work this morning, so I got up and took Muad’Dib for a run while it was still a little cooler outside. Dad and I moved a couple big logs over to their driveway from nextdoor so I could get some firewood before the tree service hauled it all off. Summer had plans to take Eaddie to the Clarksville water park in the afternoon, but it felt really clammy and gross out, and I just didn’t want to go. Eaddie got up and mowed the lawn, so I was in and out some to get her started, and then was trying to organize some of the chaos inside since the ceiling collapse.

Eaddie and I cleaned up some charcuterie stuff in the fridge, and I had an anxiety attack in the pantry. I eventually took a shower and made it back over to my parents’ house where Dad had sawed up a bunch of manageable logs that we could load into the Pathfinder. I brought them a little solar-powered pool skimming robot that we watched mostly fail, and then I ate bún bò Huế with them before getting the wood back to the house just as the girls got there. They helped me unload into the front yard, and then took a bit of a break. Dad came over with a little more wood and a plastic sheet for the hole in the ceiling. Unfortunately the staples ripped right through, and I didn’t want to fight it, so he took that back home.

Summer and I eventually made it over to their house to swim after sundown. My parents were out watering the garden, and Muad’Dib got the zoomies and ran circles around the yard. Summer got cold pretty quickly, so we headed back to the house for the evening.

I had originally planned to go to Little Rock to see Mitch in the evening, but time got away from me and we just had too much stuff going on. We decided to reschedule for later next week.

rattle ’round

Uncategorised

The Power to Automate

I felt less bad this morning. It was my day to try and complete some tasks, so I dug into block coding with Power Automate, sent off my fixed asset checklist, and at the end of the day, played with the Vuzix smartglasses that were given to me. I took a break in the middle of all that to get a Big Mac – my cheapest local meal that isn’t a dollar frozen burrito from the Walmart. The fries were really sad, so I stopped at Sonic on the way back for a dollar corndog.

I had an anxiety attack just as I was driving away from the office, so I let the car do its thing. Eaddie wanted to take Eli and Ceci to my parents’ house to swim, but Dad wanted me there as an adult to watch over them, so I changed clothes when I got to the house and rode Muad’Dib over on the Onewheel to meet them. Mom was actually home early too. I sat outside with the kids and dripped sweat after a while.

Mom said they still had fish soup, so I brought that in to heat up just as Eaddie said she was going to their house for dinner. Mom went out to water plants, so I ate alone and then finished my walk with the dog. He was pretty sluggish and we cut about a mile off our route.

It was recycle and trash duty when we got back. The kids stayed out late, and I tried to sleep early.

what if then else