Tag: anxiety

Uncategorised

Baggage

I didn’t want to sleep in too late today, so I rolled out of bed once I woke up. I had a COVID test at Walgreens at 1, so I went home to clean up first. The test was a super simple and painless nasal swab, and not even too far up the nose. As soon as I was done there, I had to run to Mark’s to help out a bit. What he needed from me took seconds, and we ended up chatting about school stuff for a while after that.

When I left, there was nobody in the Ridgewood Brothers’ parking lot, so I crossed the street to see how things were going. Grant almost immediately offered me a sandwich, which I couldn’t turn down. I took it back up to Summer’s with me since he didn’t have time to chat, and on the way there I called Josue to see how he was doing.

Summer got back with Autumn from their car show fund raiser shortly after I got in, and then Summer and I went to do some shopping before packing. We went to Leonard’s first to spend a $5 coupon I had. Then we went to TJ Maxx for some cheapish rubbah slippahs. Summer got a neck pillow as well, and I’m not sure any of it was a bargain.

The packing took forever due to my travel anxiety, but I’m pretty sure I got everything. Fortunately we’ll have another day nearby in case something goes horribly wrong.

When we finally got back up to the girls, Autumn was in bed. I warmed up some leftovers for us, and then filled out some travel forms with my negative COVID test. Eaddie and I finished up the night with some House, and then went to bed ourselves.

Forget it, just grab all the sinks.

Uncategorised

Cubby Buddies

I went to the high school first thing this morning and kept Mike company. Most of that time was spent trying to figure out why a VLOOKUP function wasn’t working, but I finally discovered the cells I was searching needed to be formatted as string values instead of numbers. Mike already had four and a half cubbies full of student devices that had been returned, so I helped him dig through them for a device Kayla was trying to find. Turns out, the mother had misunderstood her child, who would be returning the laptop later in the day.

Lunch time came up pretty quickly, and Bryan couldn’t go after shattering his ankle over the weekend. Brody was the only one that would communicate about lunch plans, so he and I decided to try Peg Leg. Upon arriving at a closed restaurant, we made the trip back across town to Popeye’s and learned that Google Maps is not updating with dine-in status. We ran through the drive-through, and then I thought he was going to come back to the shop to eat, but I ended up eating alone. In the middle of that, I started having a panic spell that took me a while to shake off.

I spent the rest of the afternoon in my office trying to be as helpful as possible. It was a pretty quiet day, which may actually be a bad thing, because evidently we are now having to prove our need for a secretary in the department. I stayed a little late chatting with Ben since he had been gone all last week, and then left to get the girls.

Eaddie was waiting at Oakland, and Autumn had just finished with band. I dropped them off at home before going home myself. Summer’s surgery has me off work tomorrow, so I went home for a while and then came back up for the evening. I stopped at Wendy’s for a quick dinner so I wouldn’t be eating in front of Summer. When I got up to the house, the girls were already all in bed though, so it was a quiet and relatively dull evening for me.

You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table.

Uncategorised

Dogegonit

It was nice again today, so I took the Shadow to work. Things started eerily quiet and it never really got any better. I just felt uneasy everywhere I went. I stayed to myself in my office for the most part, but kept having to do things for the newbies instead of getting any of my own projects done.

I met Brody at the junior high for teacher appreciation burgers, then mingled around there for a while afterward to help with a few other things. When I got back to my office, things were still really quiet. It didn’t help that so many people are missing.

After work, I went home to get the car so I could get the girls, only to realize that Summer had already gotten them. I think she told me, but I’ve just had so much going on that I can’t keep up any more. I’m really starting to break down.

I came back home for a little bit, but then had to go to the shop to get an old projector for Summer to use tomorrow. Then I continued on to my parents’ house to help clean up some phở. After I ate, I came back home and had to clean up a different projector because Summer didn’t have anything with VGA. Then I had to mess with my computers some in order to get to my resume.

With my resume officially done, I’m just waiting for one more letter, and then I’ll send it all off. I should probably also email my intent just in case they do something sneaky with the listing online. That seems my luck.

Watch what I do, and then do the complete opposite.

Uncategorised

Properly Mounted

The girls went out with their father around lunch time while Summer and I spent too many hours swapping TV mounts. I got a new tilting mount for the living room because the height of the TV made 3D unbearably blurry. Once we got the new mount hung, I dropped the angle of the TV until 3D looked right while seated or standing. Then we took the old mount to the front bedroom where the girls have been sleeping, and hung the super cheap Onn TV we had. I also had a new Chromecast with Google TV, so they’ll be happy.

Once that was sorted, Summer went to the gym until it was time to head to my parents’ house for dinner. Mom made some phở, and of course Dad had dessert. Then we each went home for the night. I continued picking up around the house and did another load of laundry. I’ve been feeling slowly overwhelmed by both work and home, and there’s still so much that I have to complete before our vacation.

My heart longs to join them, sing songs of the sea.

Uncategorised

So You’re PMSing Pretty Bad, Huh?

It was nice enough this morning that I got the R1 out, but I didn’t get much time on it. I started super tired and got a slow start, which landed me at work pretty late, but I stayed even later to make up for it. I felt like it was a pretty productive day of mostly helping others, but I also felt like I was the only one that saw it that way. I’ve been feeling more or less like a superficial cog in the wheel, taking on menial tasks without any real, tangible usefulness.

Lunch at Fat Daddy’s didn’t make it any better. Gary and I got the Tuesday special, which was a “brisket sandwich” that looked like an overcooked philly cheesesteak sandwich without the grilled onions or peppers. It was more like a French dip than anything, and it was pretty awful. I left hungry and dissatisfied, both because of the food and the amount of time it took to get to us. I don’t know how a barbecue place that has to smoke meats hours ahead can take so long to slice and assemble a plate.

The afternoon was successful in that I got rid of the Mac that has been sitting downstairs for the past couple weeks. I was also promised some recommendations for Ben’s position, though I’m not super hopeful about that. I’m cautiously, if not unjustifiably optimistic. Ben told me to take my speakers home, which sort of inadvertently crushed what little bit of happiness I’ve had at work lately.

I stopped by to see Summer on the way home and we chatted a little bit before she went home. Still hungry from a disappointing lunch, I stopped by McDonald’s for a sad bacon double quarter pounder, then Wendy’s for a sad order of fries. I ate, finished up a bottle of apple pie, and watched a couple more episodes of Superman & Lois before crashing for the night.

I suppose you’re all wondering why I called you here today.

Uncategorised

Mama Bear

I slept on top of the sheets last night, so it was pretty rough getting out of bed. I eventually made it to the high school to drop off the last of my CDs for Daniel to use in their play. Then I continued to the shop for the day. I told Melinda about the trouble I had the night before, and she went full-on mother-mode with the advice and being super nice all day.

Brody and Kyle came to the shop so we could hang a touch panel at Crawford, which got us through to lunch. Melinda and I were the only ones still at the shop, so she insisted that I choose, and we went to New China so I could eat my feelings. Then when we got back, she turned off her Britney Spears playlist and played Linkin Park for me for most of the rest of the day.

My office has been a big hit lately for people to mingle, which is both new and kind of neat, though distracting. I spent most of the day trying to help other people and not getting much of anything else done. I worked a little bit late, but had to get the girls to karate.

Both of the girls were pretty quiet today, and the drive to karate didn’t take long. Once they were out, I went to my parents’ house to figure out what was really going to happen with my living situation. As I suspected, it was all a misunderstanding since I’ve been watching the housing market. I’ve been pretty vocal about my plan, but still caught a lot of flak for reasons I don’t understand. At the end of the day, I get to keep living here, which is what really matters.

Dad came back with me to seal the wall back up, then move the cabinet back into its corner. We had to try multiple times because it wasn’t quite square, causing the doors to not open or not stay closed. I never got it quite perfect, but it worked well enough to load up with a bunch of stuff from the garage. Still not enough room for activities, but at least it’s easier to move around in there.

When attacked by a bear, simply lie still on the ground and cover your face and head with your hands. When the bear is finished batting you around and mauling you, contact the US Forest Service.

Uncategorised

Not Necessarily

We had our meeting this morning and Ben officially announced his upcoming departure. I’m a little terrified they’ll bring back someone else for his role instead of promoting from within, but that’s not as upsetting as it is that he’s leaving in the first place. Ben has been my favorite boss ever, and I owe most of my success in the field to him.

After the meeting, Zach took me to Crawford to swap out a cart for some tech tubs. Then we drove up to Center Valley to help Gary and Mike move some computers around temporarily. They were actually almost done, but we didn’t find out until we got back that we were actually supposed to completely strip one of the labs so maintenance could tear out the desks to turn the room into a professional development area.

Greg joined Zach, Gary, and me for lunch when I convinced them all to go to Slim Chickens instead of CJ’s. For some reason they had the air conditioner blasting inside, which froze Greg and me out, so we ate outside. I had a birthday dessert, but forgot to get it before we left, so I ended up picking it up after work.

In the afternoon, I went to the middle school and Dwight to help Josh and Kyle swap a couple SMART boards for a TV and a touch panel. The dumb thing was that both projectors worked. Evidently we were just trying to teach one teacher a lesson, and ran out of replacement bulbs for the other one.

Zach sent everyone home a little early, but I didn’t get out until later after chatting with Ben some more. Then I got my dessert jar and stopped by to see Summer before heading home.

I had a few instances of some anxiety/whatever issues today, but seemed to breathe out of them better than anything else. It really made me wonder if it was more of an oxygen thing. I guess it could still be anemia.

Who’s been messing up everything???

Uncategorised

No, that’s just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that.

I woke up expectedly tired this morning after a bit of sleep. I accidentally dozed off for a few minutes after the alarm went off, but made it home in time to get to work. I went to the high school first thing, and spent all morning working in the office with Mike. I shuffled some computers around on the desk to get them out of his way, but still need to move them to some final resting place.

Summer got her Invisalign this morning and wanted to meet up for lunch, so we went to Stoby’s. Then it was back to the shop to help Mike set up some brand new iPads. I eventually made my way back to the high school and ended the day crimping more patch cables for Ethan’s lab.

By the time I got home, I wasn’t feeling super smurfy, so I stayed in the rest of the night. I’ve been getting those anxious or panicky feelings more frequently lately, and have been wondering if maybe it’s actually an anemia thing that just makes me feel like all my blood is draining. Eventually I’ll have to see the doctor, but for the time being I’ve decided to play with my blood pressure medication dosing.

All through my life I’ve had this strange unaccountable feeling that something was going on in the world, something big, even sinister, and no one would tell me what it was.

Uncategorised

Mooving Day

Mike was out today, but I still spent all morning at the high school, trying to get some software to work. I picked Summer up for lunch at Western Sizzlin, then ran home to bring in a FedEx delivery. It was my McDonald’s chkndrop, which consisted of an overbuilt, square-shaped shoebox type container, a seven inch vinyl record, a gold colored metal gift card, and a hoodie.

I spent most of the afternoon at the shop, and claimed a new office space next to Ben. I really wanted his old office, but evidently it still floods, so I took the office next to him instead. The desks weren’t ideal for me, but I’ll make it work.

When I got home, Dad was already there with a guy to check out my bathrooms for a remodel. He seemed the most gruff of the three guys we’ve had out, so at that rate, I’d be afraid to see what scruffy kind of fellow he’d find next. His ballpark figure came in quite a bit lower than the first guys, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about that yet.

The night went by slowly at first, and then sped by as it came time to wind down for bed. Hopefully I wake up more rested tomorrow.

I should have moved into the Murder Basement.

Uncategorised

Are You Packing?

I woke up this morning and got right to work digging things out to pack for the trip. It took me all day, but I finally did it. Almost.

Summer brought the girls over after school to see if they wanted to borrow any backpacks for the trip. Once I was comfortable with leaving, I headed up the hill to help them pack everything into as few checked bags as possible. We managed to get everybody into carry-on bags, personal items, and one giant checked suitcase. Then I had to pick Noah up from his house because his father wanted his truck to stay at their house.

I realized at some point in the evening that I had forgotten my watch charger, so I ran home to get that on my way to get Noah. Then we got back to the girls and got everyone to bed as quickly as possible. It’s high anxiety for basically everyone but the kids because they’re just used to being carefree and relying on us to pick up any slack. Hopefully nobody forgot anything.

So we’re going full-kitchen-sink, eh?