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What Wood You Axe of Me?

Summer left with Eaddie for their hair appointments this morning. I thought they would be gone through the afternoon for a trip to the climbing gym, but they came back and loaded up the rest of the kids instead. Jesica was passing through from Dallas and wanted to get lunch, but I had already eaten some leftover pizza. She fussed that she doesn’t like any of the Chinese places in Fort Smith, so we went to Mulan’s where I just had a bowl of hot and sour soup for two bucks.

Afterward I made her tag along to Harbor Freight so I could pick up an axe to chop some firewood. A couple guys in the aisle spoke up to give me some advice and pointed me towards the axes with synthetic handles, but for the limited use it would see, we decided the big, red, wooden-handled fireman’s axe would be the coolest looking one to have hanging in the garage. We headed back to my house so Jesica could be on her way, and I loaded up as many logs as I could fit into my trunk.

I still had to run by Walmart for some s’mores materials and cilantro, and then it was off to Summer’s to prepare for our guests. I started by trying to chop some wood, and though my aim was true, I struggled to split the logs very evenly due to their age and having been partially eaten and weathered. Summer joined me outside to take out some of her own aggression, and ultimately we split the wooden handle and separated it from the head of the axe. After a bit of deliberation, I decided to run back by Harbor Freight for one of the previously suggested axes. They were closing early, but I was fortunate to have arrived five minutes before they did. Then I stopped by Walmart and ran all around looking for a decent lighter. I settled for a cheapo single pack from the garden center, then made my way back up to the house.

As though I’d found a calling from the wild, I split the remaining logs with the greatest of ease. Hair sprung from my chest and my voice dropped an octave, and we had firewood. Summer made a smorgasbord of pico de gallo, guacamole, ranch dip, deviled eggs, pigs in blankets, and a veggie tray while I took the lazy road with an Instant Pot of cheese dip, and we were ready to party. Ronda, Steven, and Maleea showed up while I was tending the coldest fire I’ve ever made. It didn’t get super hot until it was just coals at the end of the night.

Most everyone stayed inside since the fire wasn’t really hot enough to keep anybody warm. The girls watched some TV and played some Switch. Steven even got in on some Mario Kart with us for a few rounds. They couldn’t make it to midnight though, and left with only 50 minutes to go. Autumn had already gone to bed. Eaddie stayed up watching TV, but as soon as we finished cleaning up, Summer was off to bed.

…AND MY AXE!

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Tending the Dumber Slumbered

We got up this morning and decided on a cheapish Burger King lunch for the horde. Summer left for the gym, and after a bit I took the kids up to her house so they could shed their collective stench. I had gotten a call earlier in the morning that my final(?) pair of trial contacts had come in, so I stopped to get them on the way home. Then I spent the afternoon cleaning house.

I found myself getting bitter over the careless, wasteful, and generally unsanitary nature of the kids, but they’ve grown into their filthy habits without regard for the types of things that matter to me. I shouldn’t have much room to gripe on account of my own lifestyle, but so much of what irks me comes from a lack of consideration or respect. Sometimes I feel like I just have to step around them and ignore what they’ve done as I clean up after them, but ultimately it just makes me want them around less.

Summer eventually brought them all over again, along with a bunch of stuff for dinner. We left them here watching The Simpsons against my better judgement, while Summer and I went to Walmart to pick up groceries for New Year’s Eve. Hopefully it’s a fun time for everyone. We should have plenty of snacks, but I still think I’ll end up getting more vegetables.

We made salads and sloppy joes for dinner, then finished The Lord of the Rings saga with The Return of the King. Overall it was a better night than last. I even put together a shoe rack to bring some order to my entryway.

It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule.

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You Don’t Know Jackfruit

I got up and finished some leftovers this morning while the girls were mostly off doing their own things. Summer squirmed with back pain all day, while Autumn was laid out playing the helpless card all day. She assured us she was well enough to go out to McDonald’s with her father, though.

I left to shower, then picked up Noah to go to my parents’ house. They had gotten another jackfruit from Uncle Giao for Christmas, and wanted my help picking it apart. It wasn’t too bad – just tedious, but didn’t taste quite ripe yet in spite of its smell. We only pulled half of it apart before wrapping up the other half for later. The hope was that it would ripen a bit before our next go at it. I had some leftover ham on rolls, and then we headed back to my house to meet up with the girls. Autumn had tipped over backwards coming down the stairs at their house, so they didn’t want to fuss over coming to my parents’ place first.

Noah wanted to get some snacks for everyone while we watched The Two Towers, so I took him by the Neighborhood Market. He said he couldn’t find French onion dip there, so I also took him by Kroger for some of that before finally making it home. The girls were already finishing up a movie there, and then we put on The Lord of the Rings. The extended edition clocked in at just under four hours, but it took us significantly longer to watch with breaks and such. Summer and Autumn were long ready for bed. The other two stayed up and watched TV as I went to bed myself.

That stuff really sticks with you…

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The Baby-Sitter’s Club

We stayed in today. All day long. Summer made a good breakfast, which I turned into a pretty delicious sandwich. The cat jumped into the Christmas tree, knocking it over and breaking some ornaments, so they put that away. I put on Contact until Summer went to work out, and then she returned with some friends to see the girls for a while. They brought tacos and I started making some pinto beans in the Instant Pot, but they left before I even finished putting it all together.

Summer wanted to play Mario Party, and the first round of minigames went okay, but the actually board game always just makes me mad. Eaddie and I watched MKBHD’s Retro Tech: Walkman episode, and then it was back to bed.

Even this rainy December day felt more like spring.

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Post-Op Slack

The girls were up before me this morning, and Autumn had started on Criminal Minds. Summer left to get us some Burger King for a quick and easy breakfast, and eventually left for the gym. It was a super quiet, super dull day, but Autumn did well without much pain medication. I did a bunch of laundry and cleaned up a bit. Summer brought back some Little Caesar’s for a late lunch, and then took the kids home while I finished my chores.

I still had a bunch of mail-in rebates to send off, so I spent a little while getting those organized before Summer got back. Then when she did, we stopped by the shop for me to make a couple last minute copies, then by my parents’ house to deliver the forgotten Christmas rolls, and finally the post office to mail my rebates before ending the night at her house.

We brought a couple big trash bags to wrap Autumn’s leg, and Summer helped her with a shower before we settled in to watch The Order of the Phoenix. Autumn fell asleep near the end, but Summer was acting like she hadn’t seen all of it, so we finished the movie before heading to bed.

Breezy, temperate evenings, dancing through the chimes like it’s not even December…

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On Waiting and Support

I got up an extra hour early this morning to pick up the girls and head to Little Rock for Autumn’s surgery. There was hardly any traffic until it came up from behind us halfway past Conway, but we made it with plenty of time to spare. None of us ate anything to keep from being unfair to Autumn, but Eaddie and I wished we had left for lunch at some point during our six hour waiting room session. I didn’t even get to go back for the anesthetic because they considered Eaddie an “adult” and only two could go back. Summer’s parents eventually showed up and waited with us, but they could just as well have showed up right at the end to take her home.

Eaddie and I played on our phones for most of the morning. I took a break to get Jerry a Diet Coke and walk around the gift shop for a while where I picked up a little yeti pen for Autumn. Otherwise it was a completely uneventful day in the waiting room. We even had to wait forever for them to bring Autumn down once they were ready to discharge her. Eaddie started to get cranky from being so tired and hungry, but we eventually started hunting burgers. Autumn went home with her grandparents, so Summer, Eaddie, and I went by Cotham’s to see if they were open.

Evidently they’re popular enough that they can pay rent just being open for lunch, so then it was across town to Big Orange Burger. I had never been to the midtown location, but it seemed really cool. The service was definitely nowhere near as good, but the food was fine. Eaddie was convinced she had never had a better burger in her life, but part of that may have been how hungry she had gotten.

We stopped by the liquor store on the way home to stock up before new year’s eve. Then it was straight to get Autumn back to my house. I started some laundry and we watched Home Alone. About halfway through, Autumn got to feeling pretty hungry so I made a Baconator run. We finished the movie, Summer passed out, and the girls settled in for the night. Autumn wasn’t complaining about pain or discomfort, so that was a win in my book.

I don’t understand why nobody else cared about getting the old tendon back. How often do you get a chance to make a ham bone soup with a piece of yourself?

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No Need for a Manger in Hammock Weather

Summer woke up to a surprise visit from Santa Classic, Mexican Sañta, and Satan the lysdexic Santa today, so I got pushed out of bed as well. She made some biscuits and woke Eaddie up, who probably would have walked around the tree all day without noticing the new gifts. Summer went to get Autumn from her parents’ house as soon as we finished eating, and I played some Mario Kart with Eaddie until they got back so we could open presents.

When that was all done, I headed home to clean up before heading to my parents’ house for Christmas dinner. When the girls got here, Eaddie wanted to ride bikes, so she and Summer rode across town while Autumn and I chauffeured the crock pot of mashed potatoes. When we got there and found that everyone had already eaten, we learned that we had misinterpreted a text from earlier without an expected time to gather. We picked at food, played on my childhood slot-car/jet race track, and generally lazed around until Uncle Giao, Aunt Teresa, Bác Vân, and Doug all left. Julie was in Disney World, so it was just us kids visiting.

The girls had dinner plans with their father, so we headed back to my house to wait for him. The girls watched TV while I mostly just sat feeling tired. I cleaned the cat box and played a couple rounds of Overwatch after everyone left, then called it an early night for Autumn’s knee surgery at 8:30 the next morning.

Holidays just make me a cranky old codger anyway.

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Fellowship of the Inconsiderate

Summer left us for work this morning. I eventually got up and snuck over to the girls who were laying in the floor watching YouTube videos until Noah woke up. Once they started making a little noise, he got up and we finished The Fellowship of the Ring. The extended version was so incredibly long, and the fan club credits ran about 15 minutes long themselves. I even made some popcorn for us all.

After the movie, we gathered everyone up and headed back to their house so they could clean up. The girls were reluctant to do anything, so Noah took charge and prodded them along to getting anything done at all. Summer eventually got home after shutting down early for Christmas, and really got things moving. I noticed that one of the girls had stuck an earring into the cork handle on my electric kettle, which set me off. Summer got mad at me for flipping my shit, but I can’t stand that kind of destructive disrespect. I’m about one more incident from taking my toys back home.

They all finally used up the gingerbread house I’d had on top of my refrigerator for the past 16 or so years, and then decorated cookies. I needed a shower and some time away from their shrieking, so I had a drink and a time-out while they finished. Summer’s parents eventually came over with a crate full of gifts for everyone, and then left with Noah and Autumn for the evening. I guess we’ll figure out tomorrow when it gets here.

Summer went to bed with a headache, so Eaddie and I played some Mario Kart before settling in for about an episode and a half of Luke Cage. She started to fall asleep, so we called it a night.

Disappointed Narwhal disapproves.

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Getting Baked for Family

I got to sleep in a little today while Summer went off to work. The kids were all up playing Mario Kart when I finally got around. Noah and I finished up some salad stuff, and then Eaddie and I shared what was left of Veronica’s tamales. Summer had me bake the cookies so they’d be cool for decorating in the evening. Eaddie wanted to help at first, but didn’t really commit. Once they were done, I headed home to start cleaning up the house for everyone to stay the night.

Everything cleaned up relatively easily, but I’ve still got a ton of clutter that needs to be managed. I definitely had to skimp in the evening as Summer finished up work and I had to pick up some groceries for Christmas dinner. Walmart had been extremely busy the past few times I’d been, but had surprisingly calmed down a bunch for the evening. Erica yelled out at me as I was running out the door and said she still wasn’t having any of the crowd.

The kids ambushed Summer when she got home, so she called in an order for some pizza. I was pretty early to get them, but it was fun watching the make line and I chatted a bit with who I presume was the shift leader about my nostalgia from my first job working in pizza. With pizzas in hand, I made my way up to Summer’s where the kids were mostly practicing being in the way. We ultimately decided to put off decorating cookies until tomorrow so we could get started watching The Fellowship of the Ring with Noah. The kids decorated the tree and then we were off.

Summer went straight to bed. Autumn watched, I’m estimating the first 30 seconds of the film before she passed out. Eaddie made it a bit farther. Noah was aggravated after spending two day swatching Harry Potter when Autumn wouldn’t provide him the same courtesy. We eventually called it quits just as we made it to Rivendell.

Bah Humbug, now that’s too strong!

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Last Minute Holiday Chaos

Summer got Noah this morning before starting on some breakfast. Eaddie left for Silver Dollar City with Maleea and her family while Summer was in the middle of cooking biscuits and gravy with eggs, so I helped with the gravy as she shooed her out the door. When we finished eating, I headed home to clean up, then came back to pick up Summer, Autumn, and Noah for our trip to Conway.

We stopped at PetSmart in town first, and got lucky with a cashier that let us exchange a burned-out light bulb without a receipt. Then we headed out of town for a really short drive compared to yesterday. We stopped at Target, Shoe Carnival, and TJ Maxx before everyone got tired and hungry. Being Sunday also meant that most of the stores were closing a bit earlier than usual, so we made our way across town to the China Town buffet. Autumn protested Asian food, but then remembered how many things she liked from this buffet.

With everyone stuffed to the gills, we headed back home. Noah fell asleep in the car, but the remaining three of us stopped in at Walmart for some cookie dough for the kids to decorate this week. I made us make a quick run through the store for deals, but came up short. With everyone tuckered out, we headed on home to bed. Eaddie strolled in eventually, and watched movies with Noah well past my bedtime.

Some people juggle promotions!