Tag: anxiety

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Breakfats

I was even earlier to work today, and was craving food. Randy and Maggie showed up feeling similarly, so Maggie ordered us some pancakes from BJ’s and I went to pick it up. I gave her some of my pancake, but then she gave me her biscuit and gravy, and a bunch of grits, so I was stuffed after that. Lunch time came around and Kyle and Javier actually wanted to eat, so we all went to Sweet Poppa’s with Jim and I just tried to find something small to eat so I could be social.

Just after we got seated, some guy came in waving a dollar bill asking if anyone had a couple more bucks so he could get some food. I don’t know what made me bite, but I ended up going to the counter and ordering him some food. After I sat back down, he came over and asked for some extra cash, but I wasn’t as quick to oblige on account of paying more for his food than my own.

I charged the car after work using one of the new no-name chargers I got from Amazon Vine. It seemed to work great. The cable just wasn’t long enough for me to use it at home. We still don’t have a 14-50 outlet out there, so I couldn’t try the other charger I brought.

The afternoon dragged on forever, but we got the news that they were closing school for the remainder of the week and Randy said to bring our laptops home just in case, but not to do any work. I finally left and stopped in Conway to Supercharge, then visited with Summer at the wash briefly before heading home.

The dogs needed a walk, but I felt sick to the stomach, so I didn’t get to take them out until after sundown. We made it quick as the temperature dropped, stopping briefly to see Dad before making it home. Summer was there when we got back, and she got ready for bed while I opened up some Vine stuff. I laid down with her for a while after that because I wasn’t feeling great, and I started to fall asleep. I felt a little more sick, and I was exhausted, so I tried to wrap things up for bed.

Eaddie got home kind of late, but we sent her back out for some milk. She’ll be out of school for the rest of the week as well, so I wanted to finally be able to make some waffles for us.

Like Minnie Black Pearl

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No Charge

I slept a lot better last night, but time is still an issue. I got out the door and made it to work fairly early, and it was a mostly dull day. I brought my new heated leather desk mat, so my hands were warm while the temperature outside stayed super low. Lunch time came and went, and I finally went to pick up food by myself. I got fries from McDonald’s, which is consistently the worst McDonald’s I’ve ever visited. Then I picked up a sandwich from Arby’s, which has traditionally been pretty good, but was cold and lackluster today.

The afternoon dragged on a bit, especially considering how late I took my lunch. I left a few minutes early since I spent most of my lunch at my desk. Then I supercharged in Conway before making it home to take the dogs out. Eaddie had some friends over to practice their instruments for All Region, but they were mostly done by the time we got back. It was so cold out, that Stilgar had to play on the ice in the pond.

I got a couple more travel car chargers in from Amazon Vine, but one of them wasn’t long enough to go from the nearest outlet to my charge port, and the other was a replacement for one that I couldn’t get to work. The new one wouldn’t work either, but did at least seem to try harder. I’ll have to reach out to the manufacturer to see if I can figure out what’s wrong, or else just return both of them.

I ate some leftovers, and then Summer got home and wound down for bed pretty quickly. Eaddie seemed to be taking some time to relax and worked on some Lego for a while in her room. I got a load of laundry done and made it to bed before 10, which I thought was a pretty good accomplishment, and that made me sad.

Being an adult is awful.

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FOMO Anxiety

I burned up all of my Vine orders pretty quickly yesterday on accident, so when a very specific Model 3 accessory just happened to become available after I had been pining after one, I was unable to order it. I don’t know how much of my anxiety that caused last night, but I couldn’t sleep at all. I ended up waking up right around two when the counter reset, and of course it was gone.

My alarm eventually went off and I got going for work. It was cold out, but the car had been preconditioning for a little while and was nice and toasty. I assume it was the crosswinds that caused it to howl down the interstate, because I don’t remember that happening at all the day we got it. It was a very eerie sound, especially to my groggy, sleep-deprived ears. I got to work in plenty of time, passing Randy just before we got to the exit. There was less fanfare than I expected when I got there. It almost seemed to mirror my own experience, but that was fine.

The morning went by pretty quickly, but not much how I expected it to. Things were quieter, possibly because kids weren’t back yet, though we’re several miles from the nearest campus with actual students. I got a text from Cici’s that they were doing their early week deal, and we actually had several takers. Maggie and I met Randy, Kyle, and Jim there. Jim said it wasn’t really pizza, but I countered that for $5, it didn’t have to be as long as it was the right shape.

I actually kept kind of busy in the afternoon, and of the three of us in the office, I was the first one out at the end of the day. I stopped to supercharge more than I needed to make the trip, since the electricity was free. There was a guy there that appeared to be working on the equipment, which I assumed was why it was quite a bit slower than it should have been.

Summer was making some kind of stuffed peppers for dinner when I got home. I took the dogs for a quick run before it got dark, and then Eaddie and Eli came to eat. I messed with some more accessories for both cars, got Summer’s tires aired up again, and then tried to start settling down quickly. I’d felt high-anxiety all day, and was ready for some sleep.

Find Calm

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Down Girl

Summer went to work this morning, but ended up coming home early as her illness progressed rapidly. Eaddie left early to spend the day with friends, and I got a ton of Vine deliveries at like three or four different times throughout the day. One of them was a big door sill protector kit for the Model 3, so I got the driver side installed without a terrible amount of trouble.

I cleaned up a bunch more leftovers before taking a shower and running the dogs. Right out of the driveway, one of the neighbors had her dog off-leash, so that stopped the boys dead in their tracks for a big sniff. Her little guy was feisty, and she kept complaining about him, but I was overall fairly proud of mine for just standing there and sniffing back quietly.

When we got to the end of my parents’ street, a car stopped for us and it was Melissa, the old custodian from Two Rivers. I think she said she was picking up her grandson for a movie or something, so I caught up with her for a moment and shared stories about how we were both screwed out of money at that school. Then we finally made our way around to see Dad before heading home for dinner. I still wasn’t feeling great, but needed to be productive around the house. I cleaned up quite a bit in my office and the kitchen. Two of the Vine deliveries were EV chargers. One I couldn’t test without a dryer outlet, and the other didn’t appear to work, so I filed for an exchange.

Eaddie got home pretty late after a good day out. Summer was in bed all day watching TV. I got a message from Diana that her poor cat, Jasper died suddenly from kidney failure. She just can’t catch a break.

I’ve got so much more to do, all while spinning my waking schedule around for work. I mustn’t forget laundry, or else I won’t have anything to wear.

Big bills here. Bigger bills coming.

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Thornsday Cleanout

I was jarred awake this morning when Maggie called around eight to ask if I was coming in to work. Maybe she was worried, because I’m always there around seven, but I told them I wasn’t going back for just two days this week. I got out of bed then, since Summer had to go to work anyway. Even Eaddie got up and took a shower, but then she left with friends. I warmed up a plate of some hot turkey, twice-baked potato, and sour dressing instead of going out to eat like I had imagined all night long.

I felt pretty bad all day, and started to fall asleep in the afternoon, but made myself take a shower and take the dogs out for a long run. We caught my parents just as they got back from somewhere, and then we came home so I could clean up the kitchen.

I had spent all day in my head, mad and frustrated with the girls and our living situation, and their habits around the house. I was glad to have the kitchen finished when Summer got home, but she reeked of gasoline. Eaddie got home and mostly stayed in her room as usual, and I dawdled a while longer before making it to bed. My nerves and anxiety were shot.

Ya hya chouhada!

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Rainy Review Day

I got out of bed with Summer this morning instead of letting myself sleep all day. It was rainy out, so we played with the dogs on the porch for a little bit. I got a few more things from Vine later in the day, so I spent some time catching up on reviews. The girls both left for a while and I took a shower in the afternoon. Dad invited us over for egg rolls again, so Summer and I went to eat dinner with them in the evening.

When we got back home, I spent some time messing with more Model 3 accessories. I got all of my puddle lights installed, and swapped out some console trays. The hardest thing I did was attach some rear seat vent covers in both cars. They just didn’t want to snap in on the Model Y. The ones I got for the Model 3 didn’t actually fit at all, but laid in place in a way that seemed mostly secure, so I left them.

Summer had been working on embroidery and cross stitching all day in front of the TV. Eaddie brought her some more when she got home, and we all eventually made our way to bed pretty late.

Productivity Pit

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Iced to See You

I got up shortly after Summer this morning. I thought she was going to make waffles, but we used all of the milk for hot chocolate yesterday. Eaddie got up and went to her father’s for a little while, so Summer and I just got to decompress a bit. I assembled her birdbath, and it felt quite a bit cheaper than I expected. The main basin was crooked, so I’ll have to try and get a replacement part.

We kind of grazed most of the day, so we never really got a good meal. It was dreary and wet all day, but I really wanted to get the dogs out for a run, so I did. The ground was wet, but I managed to stay mostly dry this time. We went by the basin and Stilgar wanted to get all of the geese floating in the flooded pond. We went around the block to get past the water, stopped to see Dad, and eventually made it home again.

Eaddie headed home a little early so we could decorate cookies, and Dad ended up being able to come over, along with Eli, who stayed after while we watched a movie. I wanted to watch the new animated The Grinch, but Eaddie protested so I started Bad Santa. I don’t think anyone really cared for how it started, and Eaddie wanted to watch Dear Santa after we saw a trailer flash by. It was pretty low-budget, but not completely awful.

Summer sat and cross-stitched the whole time, and then everyone went to bed once the movie was over. I had been pretty tired, but somehow dragged the night out an extra couple of hours. I don’t know where the time goes.

Who’s ever heard of a Who, anyway?

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Down ‘Till Out

I didn’t sleep very long, and it hurt all day. I got up and warmed up the last of the pizza for brunch. Summer did some work from home, and I did a load of dishes. I eventually had a shower and took the dogs out for a nice, long run. Mom and Dad saw me by the roundabout and circled around to holler at me, but there was traffic. We kept running through the neighborhoods until we got home.

I cleaned up some more stuff in the fridge, and roasted the turkey carcasses in the oven so I could make soup. Eaddie was playing in a community concert at Tech in the evening, so we eventually got around for that. Summer and I ran by Walgreens first, but the pharmacy was closed. She needed a lemon, so we ran to the Neighborhood Market for that, then picked up Dad for the concert.

I was surprised at how many empty seats there were, on account of how many people were playing in the band. It was a decent concert for a single day of rehearsal. Then it was back home where Summer crashed and I cooked down the turkey bones into soup. I was up pretty late taking care of that, so hopefully the end product is worth it.

Bone Sifter

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That’s an A

I wasn’t sure who would be at work today. Maggie stopped in briefly, but left. I eventually saw Charles and Gary separately at different times of the day. I sat in the dark for the entirety of it. Just before lunch, a girl knocked on the door and wanted to know if I could help after she locked herself out of her Prius. I told her I didn’t have any tools to try such a thing, and she said nobody else was capable of Googling a locksmith for her, so I called one for her and then waited with her until he showed up.

After that, I went to Arby’s for some cheap lunch. Then the afternoon dragged until I finally left a bit early. The car was reporting that I would have to charge to make it home, but I pressed on. I stopped to see Summer in Conway, then took the highway to Plumerville before getting back on the interstate. That got me home without any stress.

I felt like my blood pressure was super high, but it wasn’t when I checked it at home. I took the dogs out for a really long run over to Ridgewood Brothers. Robert took another spin on the Onewheel, and then I continued around Kroger and up the bike path to the middle school before heading to my parents’ house. Dad was flying the drone and following us around until we got there. By then I couldn’t feel my fingers or toes, so we headed home for treats.

I warmed up some leftover pizza and cleaned up as much as I could. Eli and the girls were watching some documentary series on Michael Jordan, so I went to my room and wrapped up my own stuff before bed. I should be safe with over 90% of my Vine orders reviewed, so I’m excited to see what the next tier unlocks.

Break couldn’t have come soon enough.

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Don’t Be Salty

I was super tired this morning, and got a slow start because of it. I switched things up a little so I could get out of the house earlier, and got to work a couple minutes early, right behind Randy. He hung around the office for a while today. Maggie was out, so otherwise it was super quiet. Charles was the only one that stopped in at all, and he talked to me for a little while.

I met Randy and Jim at Skinny J’s for lunch, and they had a $6 turkey sandwich that was pretty good. I hate paying for a lunch meat sandwich in a restaurant, but I felt like the price was okay, and all of the food I’ve ever had there has been pretty good. I did my best to avoid any extra salt because my blood pressure had been high all morning. I ended up taking a clonidine to try and get it down a bit.

Randy got fighting mad with some of the other admin, so we worked on the Technology Handbook some more, then had a pretty easy afternoon until we left. Even though we were out a little earlier than usual, I still ran into stupidly slow traffic on the way home. Cars were driving under the speed limit for absolutely no reason, and not allowing people to pass.

I got home in a rush just before Summer got there, and took the dogs out for a run. It was pretty cold, and still wet in places, but they did a good job. We skipped the basin trail in favor of some more neighborhood blocks, stopped to see Dad, then made it home for some hot dogs.

It was only Tuesday and I was already running a pretty bad deficit on sleep, so I did my best to crash early. Eaddie came home and wanted more help ordering for Christmas, and then it was off to bed.

Review all the things!