Tag: anxiety

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Look! It’s Raph!

Last night was filled with nonstop dreams. Muad’Dib snuggled tightly between us, and I only woke up a couple of times, but each time I was in the middle of another wild, random dream. I couldn’t get up when my alarm went off, so I snoozed for ten more minutes and still had more dreams.

I felt mostly lost in subnets and VLANs today. We finally took a break and went to McDonald’s for lunch, but Muad’Dib just had to wait in the car. I had another anxiety attack at some point, but I haven’t been thorough in tracking when they happen. Summer was trying to nap when we got back to the house, because she opened and then had to go back to work to do some maintenance after hours. She woke up and I tried chatting with her for a little while before she had to go back to work.

Muad’Dib and I rode straight over to my parents’ house because I was afraid to go too far after carrying my board half a mile yesterday. Mom had the last of the fish soup left on the stove, so I finished that before we left. We headed straight back to the house and I gave Muad’Dib a double bath because I pulled four ticks off of him throughout the day. He sat in flea treatment, and then had a nice, herbal shampoo in preparation for our evening out tomorrow with the boys.

Yeah! A little too Raph!

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Board to Tears

I grabbed Hardee’s and ate my biscuit and gravy on the drive in to work this morning. Muad’Dib was super pumped when we got there, and kept bouncing all over the office to see everyone. We settled in pretty quickly though, because Charles asked me about some IP addresses for a project we’ve got, and it occurred to me that I still didn’t know how any of that was set up through our firewall.

I studied most of the day in a bit of a panic, again feeling underqualified. I eventually sent an email to the MSP that helped with the HA setup, to see if they could help walk me through some of the configurations. We took a late lunch to Arby’s for a ham and cheese. There wasn’t a table or bench outside, so we just sat on the curb and shared the sandwich in the sun. Muad’Dib was super well behaved, though he did drool on my pants out of excitement while waiting for a bite.

The afternoon went by comparitively quickly after such a long morning. We made it back to town and I had an anxiety attack in the car just as I pulled into the garage. Once Summer got home for her break, we went to my parents’ house for spaghetti, and then she had to go back to work to close shop.

I took Muad’Dib out for a run, and he sprinted the better part of a mile. He did great, we stopped to see Dad, and then I had board trouble on the way back to the house. It happened once yesterday, but tonight it started flashing red, sounding its haptic buzz, and reported that the battery needed to be charged. The only problem was that the battery was reporting over 70% remaining.

I carried the board back for a little over half a mile, took a quick shower to cool down, then submitted another serivce ticket before bed.

Could use a little moon shine.

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One Step Two Step Red Step Blue Step

Kevin checked in to see if I contacted Diamond Ridge, and ended up calling Jon to get things moving for me. I wanted to be respectful of his time and work/life balance, but Kevin gave me Jon’s personal cell to work things out.

Rhonda got a little fussy about the automation I created for shipment documentation, but without invoking more human involvement, there wasn’t much I could do to improve the automation. It seemed simple enough to sort files by date, but after our conversation about phone storage the other day, I don’t guess I was surprised to hear she felt it was impossible to find what she needed.

Muad’Dib and I went to Sonic for lunch again since it was still nice out. We shared a toaster, but he couldn’t have any onion rings. I did risk giving him some of the breading though. Later in the afternoon, I was invited downstairs for some leftover ice cream with the team.

Jon called on my way back home, and said he would have someone visit us tomorrow. I stopped at AT&T to see Kevin, and brought Muad’Dib inside. He was busy with a customer, but Hope came out and found me. We chatted for a while, and Kevin would come over periodically while his customer was, presumably, transferring stuff between devices.

I left there and stopped to see Summer at the wash, and tried to vacuum Muad’Dib’s seat protector. That went fairly poorly, so I’ll just need to remove it and shake it out. It wouldn’t hurt to hose it off either. As soon as I got to the house, Muad’Dib and I rode over to my parents’ house for fish soup.

After that, the girls were home and I sat down to talk with Summer for a while. Then we tried to find something to watch on the bedroom TV, but she fell asleep almost immediately.

A Leash Called “Obedience”

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Out of Tune

I had a slow start and got to work a little later today. Muad’Dib seemed to be having a little trouble himself, and kept licking himself as smells happened. He eventually perked up, and didn’t appear to make a mess anywhere, but I was a little concerned. I tried to dig through some more 365 documentation, but I just kind of hate it so far. I had an anxiety attack at some point, but rolled on as usual.

Summer was supposed to come have lunch with me, but she ran a couple hours late without saying a word about it. I finally texted to find out what was going on, and she said she wasn’t going to make it. Then I suggested I could pick up pizza so she could just stop in to eat at the office, and she was in for that.

Pizza Hut had a strange drive-through orientation, but it worked surprisingly well. I got in and out of there, and then stopped by Casey’s for a deal on some wings since I was still waiting on Summer anyway. I let Muad’Dib out to walk around for a bit in the heat, and then tried to leave him outside while I ran in to get the food. It took almost no time for him to take off and find a family at one of the gas pumps. Luckily he didn’t get far, and he ran right back to me. I put him in the car after that, since the wings weren’t anywhere near done.

Summer just barely beat me to the office, and I was reminded that they had ice cream and Italian ice as a gesture of employee appreciation. Most everyone was in the break room and introduced themselves to her in a flurry. Muad’Dib was getting nosey, so we went upstairs to eat. I walked Summer back to her car and then had some Italian ice myself with Rhonda in the breakroom. I don’t know why, but I got chattier than I usually do. I guess I’ve just spent more time talking to her than most anyone else at the office so far.

The afternoon was tough because I was exhausted from going to bed so late after last night’s panic. We made it to the end and headed home. Dad had met Brandon from Dream Builders Construction to get a quote, and he came back almost immediately with a total of $5,100 that didn’t appear to include a tax calculation. It also looked like he was less thorough than R&R, who Dad had called. They finally came back with a quote after a week that also considered blowing new insulation for a total of $6,936.47. For a thousand more, it sounded like R&R may be better equipped to do the whole job, but I don’t know.

The evening was pretty quiet. Summer took a bath for a while, Eaddie left for Eli’s, and I shut in to do some long-overdue Vine reviews. Once the sun was nearly down, I took Muad’Dib for a quick run, and then raced to bed.

EXTI

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Wooden Do It

Summer had to work this morning, so I got up and took Muad’Dib for a run while it was still a little cooler outside. Dad and I moved a couple big logs over to their driveway from nextdoor so I could get some firewood before the tree service hauled it all off. Summer had plans to take Eaddie to the Clarksville water park in the afternoon, but it felt really clammy and gross out, and I just didn’t want to go. Eaddie got up and mowed the lawn, so I was in and out some to get her started, and then was trying to organize some of the chaos inside since the ceiling collapse.

Eaddie and I cleaned up some charcuterie stuff in the fridge, and I had an anxiety attack in the pantry. I eventually took a shower and made it back over to my parents’ house where Dad had sawed up a bunch of manageable logs that we could load into the Pathfinder. I brought them a little solar-powered pool skimming robot that we watched mostly fail, and then I ate bún bò Huế with them before getting the wood back to the house just as the girls got there. They helped me unload into the front yard, and then took a bit of a break. Dad came over with a little more wood and a plastic sheet for the hole in the ceiling. Unfortunately the staples ripped right through, and I didn’t want to fight it, so he took that back home.

Summer and I eventually made it over to their house to swim after sundown. My parents were out watering the garden, and Muad’Dib got the zoomies and ran circles around the yard. Summer got cold pretty quickly, so we headed back to the house for the evening.

I had originally planned to go to Little Rock to see Mitch in the evening, but time got away from me and we just had too much stuff going on. We decided to reschedule for later next week.

rattle ’round

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The Power to Automate

I felt less bad this morning. It was my day to try and complete some tasks, so I dug into block coding with Power Automate, sent off my fixed asset checklist, and at the end of the day, played with the Vuzix smartglasses that were given to me. I took a break in the middle of all that to get a Big Mac – my cheapest local meal that isn’t a dollar frozen burrito from the Walmart. The fries were really sad, so I stopped at Sonic on the way back for a dollar corndog.

I had an anxiety attack just as I was driving away from the office, so I let the car do its thing. Eaddie wanted to take Eli and Ceci to my parents’ house to swim, but Dad wanted me there as an adult to watch over them, so I changed clothes when I got to the house and rode Muad’Dib over on the Onewheel to meet them. Mom was actually home early too. I sat outside with the kids and dripped sweat after a while.

Mom said they still had fish soup, so I brought that in to heat up just as Eaddie said she was going to their house for dinner. Mom went out to water plants, so I ate alone and then finished my walk with the dog. He was pretty sluggish and we cut about a mile off our route.

It was recycle and trash duty when we got back. The kids stayed out late, and I tried to sleep early.

what if then else

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This Feels Redundant

I had an anxiety attack at some point this morning that hit me pretty quickly, but I shook it off. My two big tasks for the day were to call Brandon and get access to the password manager he set up, and then reinstall the second firewall after hours.

I went to McDonald’s for a late lunch, and then had an episode of rapid heartrate and feeling a bit like I was going to pass out near the end of the day. Maybe I psyched myself out about making network changes without the benefit of cellular service in case something went wrong. I just breathed through it until I didn’t feel dizzy.

Bret from Ashton called right on time, and it was a pretty quick and easy job to get the firewall in place. I actually re-racked it to match the other one, instead of the other way around, since all the cables would be up front. I wasn’t paying attention to the time, and we actually started the process early. I thought I’d be staying late, but I actually finished about ten minutes before I normally leave.

I checked my blood pressure pretty high, but wasn’t feeling bad, so I headed home. They had locked me in, so I had to make my way out through the factory side. Eaddie had taken Muad’Dib to his vet appointment in the afternoon, and they were hanging out at home when I got there. Eli was there and then gone again to get some snacks for them. Summer got home from work and had to get cleaned up from her long day.

I took Muad’Dib for a casual run, then found Mom watering plants outside while Dad was at church for something. She offered some bánh ướt(?) inside, and though it was getting late, I was pretty hungry. Muad’Dib laid down in the laundry room like a good boy while I made my food, and then Dad got home just as I was running out the door.

We got home well after dark and Summer was in bed while the kids were watching TV.

able to be omitted without loss of meaning or function

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sdrawkcaB

I dragged out of bed this morning, and pretty immediately felt sick to the stomach. I got to work about half an hour later than I have been, but still within the parameters I was given, so I didn’t bother messaging ahead that I’d be late. I brought a container of some leftover rice, chicken, and veggies for lunch that looked a lot more like supper, but I was a little bit afraid to eat it.

I had an anxiety attack early on. Then I had a couple of meetings to sit in on, and felt mildly productive with some other things as well. I hope people like me.

I happened to go downstairs to warm up my food a little late and ran into Elizabeth as she warmed up her own. We ended up sitting in the breakroom to eat, and then Janice joined us. Elizabeth made a comment about someone who was voted one of the top nurses in the state, and then showed me a picture of my old friend Tiffany. I guess she’s dating Tiffany’s father, or something of the sorts.

The afternoon went by a little quicker, though I stayed a bit late and then got hung up in traffic for the second day in a row. I thought about stopping by Taco Bell to pick up a Tuesday deal I scored, since it would expire overnight, but ended up going straight to the house instead.

Summer and Eaddie were working on a chicken salad for pitas, and some guacamole for dinner, but it looked a lot more like lunch. It was really good though, and Eaddie brought Noah over to join us since he wrecked his car today, only then learning that his insurance had expired.

I took Muad’Dib for a run, visited with a little corgi named Kaylee, saw my parents, then made it home for the night. I gave him a good bath, and then tried to get to bed as quickly as I could. That was when I remembered Taco Bell. I couldn’t place a future order, and the kids wouldn’t pick it up for me, so Muad’Dib and I ran out to get it. To make things worse, the closer restaurant couldn’t make it, according to the app, so we had to drive all the way across town.

stank boys

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Roll On

I went straight to my office this morning. I definitely had an anxiety attack. A little while later I went downstairs for coffee and a bit of social…ism? It didn’t take long before I had questions coming at me, for programs which I was barely familiar.

I brought a bologna croissant, then spent a fairly long, fairly lonely, fairly cold afternoon upstairs.

The kids were gone when I got to the house, but Eaddie had received my Onewheel from UPS. I put it on the charger, brought Muad’Dib inside for a vacuum and to wash his paws, and then we went for a run.

We went around the block before going to Sonic for some mozzarella sticks. Summer was nearing quitting time, so I texted her and she actually met me there to get a corndog. We ate, and then Muad’Dib and I chased her down the road toward home. I had to wave her off to keep him from overexherting himself, and it was a slow walk the rest of our time out.

We zig-zagged a bit around our usual course and stopped at my parents’ house. Mom was asleep and Dad was out, so we waited for him to get home. I had a little bit of his scalloped potatoes, and then we made it back to the house where I gave him another good vacuuming and a spritz of cologne before bed.

Do it again. Only 14,669 to go.

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CTRL-C

Soylent, banana, bologna burger, Power Automate.

I might have had another anxiety attack. I can’t remember.

The girls were at the gym when I got home, so Muad’Dib and I stopped by my parents’ house for some potatoes. I washed his feet when we got home, then baked potatoes to go along with leftover ribs and chicken. The girls were preoccupied, so I ate alone, took out the recycling, and eventually made it to bed long after them.

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