Tag: frustration

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Make Work Count!

I woke up in the middle of an ocular migraine this morning, but fortunately that didn’t slow me down. I made it in to work a few minutes early and got right to it. Eventually I got around to making a cup of coffee, but when I brought it back to my desk and tried to dunk an old, stale donut into it, a piece fell into the cup and splashed coffee onto my desk mat. I rolled it out from underneath my keyboard and washed it the best I could in the sink, and then hung it up on my door to dry.

A while later, Thomas came into my office and asked me to count my phone calls since Monday. It wasn’t very accurate, but I added messages, texts, and emails to the list of things that required “non-trivial” amounts of work. It truly felt like I just couldn’t self-prioritize anything today.

Zach came and got me for lunch, and we went to Fat Daddy’s downtown. I tried their Thursday lunch special, which was a BLT with pulled pork. It was probably one of the better things I’ve had there, but I wished it had more bacon and less pulled pork.

After lunch, I got to spend some time at Oakland to close out some work orders. One of them got me a little heated, because she just bought her own computer and didn’t cancel the ticket, so all the time and effort I spent on it was completely wasted. I got out just before the kids were released, and ran into Robert and his tiny toddler for parent walkup.

The rest of the afternoon went by quietly, and I left a bit late so I could finish up one last project for the day. Summer beat me home with Chipotle, and we ate at my house before she headed home. I ended up following her after a while, and we called it an early night.

I can’t fix willful ignorance and a discernible lack of effort.

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I Smell a Rat

It was cooler and rainy today, so I went in with my hair down and did some quiet work in my office all morning. Evidently our rodent friend returned and ate through Gary’s backpack to find some crackers, so he put out some glue traps in the breakroom. I kept busy all morning, so lunch time was there before I knew it. Zach, Gary, Thomas, and I went to Sam’s for the first time in a while after Tammy suggested Chick O’ Fish. It really does seem to just depend on who’s cooking that day, because I got some decent sized fish, but the chicken was smaller than my jumbo shrimp.

After lunch, I finished up what I could in my office and then ended the day at Oakland to close out several tickets that had accumulated. I never got around to looking at any of Kyle’s tickets, but Greg and Zach did quite a few since he said he was out for the week with COVID. It definitely seems like it’s spreading quickly now that school is back in session, because Sheri said Steven was out as well.

I went home for a while after work and tinkered a bit before deciding to set up a live trap at the office. Evidently Dad bought a couple larger ones, so I took all four, from Mason jar, to full cat-sized. Once I had them set up at the shop, I headed on up to Summer’s for the evening, but kind of wished I had just gone home. I lose a minimum of an hour out of my day by doing that, and everyone was already in bed anyway. It was a little unfair how irritated it made me, but I should know better by now. I kept getting too distracted as I was leaving the house, so it was just too late by the time I got there. On top of all of that, I noticed that Summer’s rear driver-side tier was down to 15 pounds, so I’ll have to watch that to check for a leak. I think it’s time to pull the trigger.

It’s my turn.

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Decoy Day

I was surprised I made it to work in such good form this morning after having so much trouble going to sleep last night. I would expect to be exhausted after such a long drive home, but I seem to always have trouble falling asleep after that. Today was our first day of training with Capturing Kids’ Hearts, and without going into too much detail, it went exactly as I expected it would. It seems we paid half a million for two days of teambuilding exercises sporadically placed between lectures about child psychology. I was surprised that so many people thought it went better than they expected. Evidently the usual teacher professional development is absolutely hot garbage, and this was new and refreshing.

We took an hour for lunch and were told to “leave no teacher behind,” and immediately my entire table disappeared without a word. I ended up going to McDonald’s on my own, and had a pretty terrible experience, along with everyone else that was there. I saw so many orders go back up to the counter in such a short amount of time. My burger was made incorrectly, and tasted terrible to boot. It was as though they placed the meat patty on a mound of salt to cook.

In the afternoon, we finally got to our “sentimental item” sharing activity. I had brought the giant stuffed cow/body pillow thing that Summer got me when we first started dating, but also my BaliYo butterfly/balisong pen. I decided at the last minute to switch it up and tell a story about the pen instead of the obvious, giant cow. It barely got a giggle, and nearly every other person in our enormous circle of staff had stories that made them sob.

We wrapped up “early,” but I was absolutely positive that the dismissal time was planned. I went home for a little bit to change, and then met the girls at The Center for Eaddie’s sophomore orientation night. The girls immediately left us, so it ended up being Summer and me by ourselves in the middle of the crowd. Feeling pointless, on top of some creeping anxiety, meant that I made it through the commons to the library before having to duck out.

I went home to wait for the girls, and then got a text from Dad that Mom was feeling chilled with a fever. I ran an expired at-home COVID test to them, and then stopped by to see Grant for a couple minutes as I waited for the girls. Once they were done, I met them at La Huerta for dinner, and then went home with them.

Summer went straight to bed, so I played Aperture Desk Job to completion on my Steam Deck, which took it down to about 49% battery. Then it was off to bed.

What a colossal waste of time for so many people that are already so far behind.

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All Hands on Deck

It started out kind of quiet today, so I spent most of it working on an Autodesk deployment. It’s a new teacher this year, so hopefully she reads her part and registers the students for their licenses. Eventually I started getting pulled in several different directions, but it wasn’t too bad.

Gary came back and said they wanted to go to lunch a little early, and Zach took us to BFD. Brody met us there a little bit late, which just extended our lunch. I thought I was getting the lunch fajitas, but ended up paying like $5 more somehow. I just haven’t been super impressed with that place in a while, but at least the food was fairly good today.

A little later in the afternoon, my Steam Deck was finally delivered, so I brought it to the shop and showed the guys before throwing it on the charger for the rest of the day. After work, I started loading games on it and was going to show them, but it wound down to Zach, Thomas, and me, and then Thomas politely asked me to leave, presumably because I wasn’t quite in an inner-enough circle to hear whatever he had to say.

Autumn had her karate test in the evening, but Eaddie wouldn’t get out of band until after it started. I picked her up, and we met Summer and my dad there, and she was already just barely doing any of the exercises. I know that it’s physically demanding, and that it’s hard, and that I couldn’t do any better, but it’s frustrating that she’s been treating it like she’s going to just magically get so much more respect from the others in the classes for being a higher belt, when she couldn’t even begin to keep up with the juniors. It’s obvious she doesn’t work for it, and every other lifestyle choice she makes is contrary to whatever she says about karate in the moment. I want her to do well, and I want her to work hard, but I don’t trust that she’s not doing the bare minimum and then talking big just to keep up appearances. We could have been watching OneRepublic and NEEDTOBREATHE.

After that was all finally over, I went home and cleaned up for bed as quickly as I could. Tomorrow night will be a long night, and I aim to stay awake for the drive home.

Just another way to collect unplayed games.

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International Cat Day

I had so much trouble getting to sleep last night, and then tossed and turned until I woke up before my alarm. Somehow I wasn’t completely worthless for the morning, and finally made it to Oakland to close out some work orders. I actually made it back to the shop a bit before lunch, and then started to leave with Gary before Zach and Thomas ran out to meet us at the car.

We went to Wendy’s, and Zach’s Baconator was delivered as a regular Dave’s Single, which was really sad next to my actual Baconator. At least my food was good. It was a quick lunch, and then back to the shop where I spent the afternoon working on some software deployments. At one point, Zach helped me bring a TV back to the shop, and I finally got my Pixel Buds Pro a week late. They were surprisingly uncomfortable in comparison to my other pair. About halfway through the afternoon, I started to have some anxiety or panic feelings about the cats that the girls dumped yesterday.

I went straight to my parents’ house after work and had some fish soup. Then my sinuses started acting up, so I didn’t stick around long. Eaddie asked for a ride just as I was getting home, so I picked her up from band at the high school and took her home. Autumn arrived after her color guard, and eventually Summer made it home from work really late. She had me call Nick to try and help one of his friends with what she thought were IT issues, but I think were actually just complaints about her ecommerce site.

I ended the night picking up a couple of tickets to see Halestorm, The Pretty Reckless, The Warning, and Lilith Czar on Wednesday. Summer decided she didn’t want to go, but Eaddie did, so that’ll be fun to hang out with her.

Ironic, innit?

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Good Old-Fashioned Ultraviolence

I woke up a little late this morning and got the sense that the girls were in a bit of a panic to get the cats out of the house. Evidently Summer got a formal eviction warning letter, and she counted only two days left to have them gone. Since nobody actually addressed me about it, and since I had already expressed my own frustration about the situation, I just did my best to help out with breakfast so they could finish what needed to be done.

After we ate the kielbasa and veggies with eggs, they went to Dollar General for some cat food before taking everything up to Noah’s house, and I went home to shower. I got incredibly frustrated with always being made the villain, and Suzanne said I was “cold, cold like the wind” for being so unsympathetic, but I likened it to God sending people to Hell for eternity because they worked on a Sunday. People show up in droves to worship that guy, but I’m the fucking bad guy here for reminding them that they’re not allowed to have pets.

I had a couple drinks and a shower to relax, and then Summer wanted just the two of us to go to the movies to see Bullet Train. I thought I was the only one that was really excited to see it, but I don’t think she really knew what to expect. I thoroughly enjoyed it, and it reminded me a lot of Kill Bill, without being quite so vulgar, but with some classic ultraviolence. All of the characters were great, and I really liked the cinematography.

After the movie, I tried talking to Summer about my feelings on the way home and I blew up for a bit that she kept saying I wasn’t being comforting or supportive. I knew it was hard to watch her kids hurting, but she enabled them by buying all of the cat supplies instead of shutting the whole thing down early, and I needed her to understand that it was okay to take the loss. She didn’t have to try and lessen the blow, and it was okay to just have a bad day and accept that every single one of us did something wrong.

When we got back to the house, Eaddie was still very upset. I learned that they just took the cats outside Noah’s house, so Sweetums got into a fight with his dog and immediately ran up a tree. I don’t even know how big of a tree it was, or if she’ll be able to get down on her own, but even Eaddie knew that she didn’t have any time to associate Noah or his house with anything good. I’ll be astounded if she doesn’t get picked off by a predator overnight, but I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. I wasn’t present to do the thinking for all four of them, so if it’s two dead cats, it’s two dead cats.

I tried to coax Eaddie out of the house for some fish soup with my parents, but she didn’t want to leave. Autumn wanted to go to her father’s for some reason, so the lawn still didn’t get mowed over the last two weeks that we’ve been asking. I just have to assume I’ll be the bad guy again next weekend when it still hasn’t been done.

I went to eat and visited with my parents for a little while before heading home. Bác Vân called while I was on the way and asked me to come over for a bit. I helped with her iPad for a bit, then went home to do some laundry before bed.

L

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Hanky Panky

I was sent on a surprise quest upstairs today to finish up what Greg had started yesterday. I didn’t get anywhere close to finishing, because most of the desktops were missing USB drivers and were therefore unusable until I remoted into each one to install them. Messing with that got me to lunch, and six of us met up at Brangus, where Thomas was already having lunch with a couple of his boys. He ended up paying for all of ours except Brody, who showed up late and had to order as we were getting our food.

I got caught up in the afternoon fighting SCCM and imaging a couple old Lenovo student laptops for Zach, for Gary. I got one of them to work finally, but I’ll need to go back and modify a script that isn’t naming them correctly.

As soon as I left work, I went home to change so I could run to Conway and pick up Summer. She had tickets to see Hank Williams Jr. with Ashlen in Little Rock, but Ashlen wouldn’t be passing through for them to ride together. She didn’t want to eat either, which was fine on account of how much I had for lunch. I picked her up at the Conway Splash and then dropped her off at the arena.

For nearly six hours, I wandered around Little Rock. My first stop was Walmart on McCain. I actually found one of the grills I had been looking for, but wasn’t sure it would even fit in the car. I think I’d really rather get the larger one anyway. I killed quite a bit of time wandering through the whole store until I decided to get some food.

It took me a while to decide where to eat, but I ultimately landed on Rally’s, which was right in the same lot. When I walked up to the window, an old guy seemed to be having trouble communicating his burger customizations to the employee. Then she stuck her head out the window and started dropping F-bombs and telling the guy he didn’t have to talk to her like she was stupid. I definitely did not witness the same interaction that she did, and I probably should have turned around and left then. She continued to be loud and crude the entire time I was there, but astoundingly the food was actually pretty good.

After I ate, I went across the street to Home Depot to kill some more time. There, I actually found an assembled version of the larger grill, which looked pretty awesome. It would be great for the amount of food we normally end up grilling, and I’d love to be able to use it for smoking. I nearly closed that place down, but decided to move on to a McDonald’s that showed to be open until 10.

When I got to McDonald’s, the sign confirmed the hours posted on Google Maps, but the door was locked. I didn’t bother to ring the doorbell, but another girl came up after me and actually rang it. A guy appeared from around the corner and made a big C with his hand through the window. The girl seemed a bit confused, and the guy ultimately let her in so her baby girl could use the restroom.

Just about then, Blake texted and said he was done with his date and invited me over to his place. He was about four miles on the other side of the arena, so I met up with him at the apartments. We visited with rapid-fire questions back and forth until Summer texted that she was walking out of the concert.

I drove back to the arena, but my instructions weren’t clear enough and I still got stuck in traffic. It wasn’t too incredibly bad, but the construction on the interstate made things much worse. We made it back to Conway for her car, and then on home as quickly as we could. The girls were already asleep, and we weren’t far behind.

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Pressing

In contrast to yesterday, I had much more trouble waking up this morning. I made it in to work, and the day went by fine, but I felt like I had to wake from really great sleep to get there. I ended up sticking around the shop all day again while others were out doing less desirable things. I didn’t have a whole lot to accomplish, but I kept getting pulled in other directions.

When lunch time came around, I convinced Zach to take Gary and me to McDonald’s where I went for something new in the way of their Quarter Pounder® with Cheese Deluxe. I was a little disappointed with the looks of it, but the taste was super unexpected. Even the tomato slices were fresh and delicious. It tasted so fresh and tasty that I could have easily eaten another one.

The afternoon was pretty quiet because everyone vanished. Thomas came through and asked me to keep an eye on the shop as he left again. I answered one unnecessary phone call, but otherwise it was super chill until I left.

The girls didn’t have anything going on, so I just went home and tinkered for a bit. Then I went to Julie’s to have her re-press the vinyl that had started to lift on one of the Disney shirts she made for me. We chatted for a little while, and then I went home to do some laundry until bedtime.

Absolutely ruining my chill.

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Frustration = Family

Mitch messaged me just as I climbed into bed last night, so I stayed up until about two in the morning catching up with him. I awoke several hours later and tried to climb out of bed, but had a long-lasting charley horse in my left thigh. I got around for a bit and then watched a couple more episodes of Ms. Marvel, leaving the finale for another day.

I showered and picked Summer up at her house as soon as she got back from Conway, and then we went to Clarksville to meet with Autumn’s therapist. He was a few minutes late arriving back to work, and then left us in the lobby for several more minutes, so we didn’t get back to him until about 15 minutes into our session.

I don’t think either of us had the right expectation for the meeting, and it seemed much more like a touching base than anything else. We certainly didn’t feel like we learned anything, but hopefully our sharing gave him some insight. He showed us a printout on Choice Theory with the Seven Deadly/Caring Habits, and at the bottom was a pixelated clipart picture of a balance scale. I told him that Summer basically nailed all of the caring habits, which meant I had to balance the scales by enforcing all of the deadly habits. I think he saw the irony, but he laughed and told Summer to get me outta there.

I hadn’t eaten all day and made the assumption that we might eat out of town, but instead we had to get home to cook dinner. It was still a little early, so I fought my hangry urges and talked her into running through Walmart with me to look for any deals, and also pick up the peppers we needed for dinner. Unfortunately they didn’t have anything good, but I did finally remember to get Eaddie’s lava lamp bulb.

When we got home, we both started prepping the peppers, potatoes, onions, and kielbasa sausage for a pan-fried dinner. It turned out really great, though the potatoes mushed up in the time it took to prep everything else. Eaddie ate with us since Autumn was at karate, and then Autumn showed up later with some Tropical Smoothie.

While we were in Clarksville, the girls had some house inspectors come by to investigate for animals. Evidently another property had been hiding a dog that caused quite a bit of damage, so this left the girls in a panic to find homes for the cats. This frustrated me deeply, because I was the one to originally let the stray cats run through the house as a joke. After that, no amount of screaming or threats could get them to stop letting the cats in, and they just continued to acquire more and more pet supplies. They refused to listen to any reasoning that they could be evicted, and now the cats would pay the price. I’ve tried to re-home fully-grown cats before, and it rarely works. It’s anybody’s guess what will actually happen now.

Do it for the Graham!

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Scramble

I had to fight the urge to sleep in today. Summer slept hard, so I just laid in bed for an hour or so until she woke up. I finished up some leftover pasta from days ago, and then made her a big bowl of rice and egg. When Eaddie got up, we went into her room and hung out with her in there for a while and shared some music. She’s discovered alternative, punk, and emo from our generation, which is kind of a trip.

Summer eventually wanted to go to the gym, and since we were still without a second car until Autumn came home, I had her drop me off at my house so I could clean up a bit. I started some laundry and then sweat out trying to re-run a network cable so I could share my wireless with Bác Vân. I had an iPad ready for her, but wasn’t able to get signal much beyond my outside walls.

I planned to clean up and meet back up with the girls, but Autumn was headed to me, blind without a phone. It took her about twice as long to get here as I expected, so I held off on doing what I needed to do. As soon as she walked into the house, she looked around in shock and made a comment about how she hadn’t seen the place since I gave them my refrigerator. She started looking all around the house, and it made me super uncomfortable. Then since I never had a chance to clean up, Summer had to pick her up and leave the Montego with me. I ended up not feeling great and decided not to meet them for dinner so I wouldn’t have to deal with Autumn’s groans and glares for having to wait for me. Then I pretty quickly decided to stay home for the night because I think the bigger truth was that I needed a break from the hate, and I just wanted to be left alone for a while.

I took a long bath and ended up killing my phone in Into the Breach. Then I finally took the iPad next door and showed Bác Vân how to make FaceTime calls. The address book didn’t seem super intuitive, but hopefully she gives it a try and enjoys it. We talked to Lelan for a couple minutes, and then my parents. Nobody else would answer, but nobody else was expecting a call either. She gave up after that, and I went back to my den of recluse.

Like me, they are solitary creatures and deeply misunderstood.