Tag: parenting

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Normlish

We had a team meeting this morning to go over expectations for our reviews. The tool we’ve always used in my time there has always been pretty poor, but we’re using it to self evaluate, and then compare notes with Thomas. Then he’s inviting us to evaluate him using those same metrics. I spent quite a while just reformatting a digital copy of the stupid form, since it wasn’t a proper fillable form in Adobe. By the time I got around to anything else, it was nearly lunch time.

Four of the guys up front started heading for the door about 10 minutes early, but Gary remembered that I existed, and Thomas drove us all to La Chiquita. I was disappointed by the fajita portions compared to other places, but the food was still good, and it filled me up after a basket of chips.

I worked on some stuff for a little bit back at my office after lunch, but then went to Oakland to wrap up a bunch of stuff there. I left just as school was letting out, and came back to Thomas, Zach, and Kelsea on another conference call with Incident IQ. It was otherwise a very quiet afternoon until I left.

It looked like Eaddie had gone to her father’s restaurant, so I stopped there to try and pick her up. After a couple phone calls, I discovered she had actually just walked to Casey’s and then back to Zane’s house. I picked her up and we went to my house and watched two more episodes of Moon Knight. I liked the last one we watched as things got a little mental.

Summer came by after her workout and then picking Autumn up from her parents’ house. We chatted for a little bit before they left, and then I spent the better part of the night doing further investigations. I really think if we just eliminate the internet from Autumn’s life, she’ll behave much better on the whole. A young mind has to be exercised to grow. All she does is consume, and it’s thrown her into a desperate need for constant attention.

But here I am, writing about my day on a public forum for people to read.

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Momma Called the Doctor and the Doctor Said

I took a sick day today, primarily so I could help Summer maintain some semblance of sanity, but also to help shuttle Autumn to a doctor appointment. She came to my house after dropping the girls off at school, and then we waited until time to check her out. It rained heavily all morning, which was fitting for the huffy mood Autumn was in when she came out of class. I dropped them off at Millard-Henry and then just waited in the car, because of course COVID restrictions for one visitor are still in effect.

Aaron messaged me after a while and said I could swing by his office, but I was only there for about five minutes before Summer texted that they were finished. I picked them up at the front door, and Autumn seemed in much better spirits. She wanted to know how there was so much water in the sky for it to rain as heavily as it was, and whether or not we thought she might have dissociative identity disorder. Up until recently we just assumed she was a two-faced sunovabitch, but hopefully a referral for a proper psych evaluation can answer that for us.

After dropping Autumn off, Summer and I were pretty hungry and ended up at Hardee’s for an early lunch. The girl at the counter was so sweet that it practically made my teeth hurt. She hooked us up with a drink cup to share when she realized we didn’t order one with our food. After we ate, we went back to my house for a bit, and Summer was able to nap for a bit while I stayed up for some super sleuthing.

We got to have a sit-down meeting in the afternoon to discuss some options and alternatives for technology, which made us feel mildly better, but Summer and I were still so completely distraught from dealing with this all week. We were both just absolutely burned up with anger, disappointment, and disgust, and bounced between different ideas and timelines for action. We absolutely cannot maintain what we’re doing now, so something is going to have to give very soon.

When school let out, Summer went to the high school to check in on Quiz Bowl, which angered Autumn a bit. I picked up Eaddie and Zane at Oakland, and then dropped him off a couple blocks away at the daycare. Eaddie wanted some Dairy Queen since FBLA was having a fundraiser there. I got her a Blizzard that ended up being poorly-blizzed, and a couple malts for Summer and me.

Back at their house, Summer wanted to have a chat with Autumn. Eaddie was in and out, but mostly just bored that it was happening again, as though it was the Depp vs. Herd defamation lawsuit. Autumn danced around mostly not answering questions, tried to throw some other kid under the bus, and finally admitted some guilt for filing a false report on me. At this point, we still don’t know what reality she’s living in. It certainly feels like it’s just sociopathic tendencies with a constant need for attention. After two hours of that, and then having her walk around the house like nothing was wrong, I was just shaking with anger.

Autumn spent the rest of the night in her room, but Eaddie stuck around and chatted with me some. Summer made it into bed and to sleep. Hopefully I can get some of that action too, because I’m completely exhausted.

“Your hormones are fine; you’re crazy in the head!”

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Somewhere in Between Guilt and Guillotine

We woke up to some enlightenment, and had to make quick decisions for the day. I ate a couple donuts, and Summer made a couple egg and cheese biscuits from the leftovers. Eventually she left with Autumn for the gym, but ended up at her parents’ house first, to let them in on what the meddling teenager had conspired.

Eaddie and I made it to my house so I could shower, and then met Summer at the arts center for The Addams Family. It was neat to see the orchestra pit in use, though we couldn’t actually see any of the band. The play seemed to be done really well, though it was hard for me to hear most of the dialog. I didn’t realize there was an intermission, and thought they ended the play in a very odd way.

Afterward, the girls weren’t up for dinner, so I went to my parents’ house on my own. I thought about going back to the girls for the night, but ended up staying home to better prepare for another day that will almost inevitably go sideways.

Idiot.

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Slow Learners

I didn’t sleep great last night, in spite of how exhausted I was from the trials of the day. I woke up a little after eight and laid around in bed until Eaddie called to see if I would pick her up later in the day to take her out on the Grom. I took my time getting around, and eventually got a shower before stopping by McDonald’s to burn up some rewards points before they expired. Somehow, I think the Spicy McChicken ends up being the best value per point.

Summer had to work a bit today, and took Autumn with her. Eaddie was watching TV when I got to the house, so I ate my sandwich with some leftover fries from Popeye’s. Then we went back to my house to get the Grom. We rode to the high school, and even after it was her idea to ride, I still had to endure lots of griping from Eaddie for being out in the “heat” with an aching butt and hands. I pressed her on, though, and we made it to second gear along with a ride around the building out of my line of sight. As kids started showing up for the play at the arts center, Eaddie and I decided to pack it up and head home. She wanted to ride her bicycle to her father’s restaurant, so I just hung out at home until she got back.

Mom and Dad were grilling pork chops and shrimp, but Eaddie was tired and full from eating with her father, and wanted to nap after she got back to my house. I went outside to pick some mint, then ran to the Neighborhood Market for some lettuce before meeting Summer and Autumn at my parents’ house for dinner. Autumn seemed on good behavior, though she surprised us by giving Dad some selective information about our visit from DHS yesterday. After the girls left, I expanded upon what really happened.

Evidently Autumn talked Summer into letting her go to church with my dad in the morning. I thought she said she was going with her own father, so I didn’t think anything of it. Upon further reflection and learning more details myself, we decided not to let her go, and had a talk about consequences when I got to their house. She spent all evening in her room, watching shows and talking on Facebook Messenger on her school laptop. Summer still hasn’t learned how important thoroughness is when following through with punishments, but I let her sleep through her headache. We’ll talk about it in the morning.

Everything means everything.

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WOLF!

I hardly slept at all last night from the dread of impending doom looming over me. I made it in to work, but drove rather than rode so that I would have better options in case something came up. We had a relatively short meeting, and then went to the graveyard to hunt for old devices that would have to be returned at the end of their lease this summer. On the subject of an entirely different Summer: she was having a very rough morning as well, so I invited her to come spend the morning with me. She spent some time in the graveyard with us as we continued enrolling devices. Then we went down and she spent some time in my office on her own.

She left around the time we were thinking about lunch. I suggested Sam’s, and commented that it was a little messed up that Zach overrode me for Morellos for my “last meal” before going to the bad jail. I did enjoy my fajitas, but I ate too much, especially for how I was feeling all day.

The afternoon went by quickly as well, as my 3:30 meeting with someone from child services at Summer’s house drew near. Summer texted to let me know she was running behind due to an actual case, but she did eventually show up. I talked to Melinda on the drive over, and then we dove right in.

Autumn had dropped Eaddie off at home, and she was in the living room talking to the case worker for a bit with Summer. Shortly after I arrived, Eaddie went to her room and Licia continued to talk to us about the multiple accusations that had been made. Summer and I were of course furious, but fortunately Licia could tell from her interview with Autumn that this was utter nonsense.

Eventually Autumn was summoned home, but before our visitor left. We confirmed that we could continue with punishment without fear of backlash or repercussions from Autumn. She stuck around as we talked to Autumn to try and produce any evidence of neglect or abuse, and ultimately revoked her technology, automobile, and employment permissions. We were also advised that it would be fine to remove the door from her room as long as she had privacy by way of the bathroom for changing clothes and the like. I haven’t spent as many evenings over there lately anyway, so none of this was of any real concern. Autumn did get slightly aggressive as Summer collected her things, but quickly broke down as she felt her life being ripped away from her. We explained that accusing others of crimes, especially felonies, had real life consequences for everyone involved. Nobody believed anything about any of her stories, though we would still have to meet again with someone from the state police regarding a criminal investigation as a formality.

After the investigator gave us plenty of advice and applauded our swift movement to get Autumn some help with her mental health, she left us and pleaded for Autumn not to wreck anything in the house. It wasn’t a real concern of mine, but I was glad she solidified the fact that Autumn had undeniably lost. Summer removed her door from its hinges, and Autumn either opened up honestly or continued to play us by the way that she broke down. From now on, we are both fully aware of our need to tread cautiously. There’s no going back for her though. If she’s not compliant, we’ll get the state involved for help with holding her accountable.

Eaddie came out of her room groaning of hunger pains, so I took her to Popeye’s for dinner. We just got a box of tenders and came back to the house to eat. Autumn had brought some chicken strips from Denny’s when she came home, so I assume they tasted about as good as her failure to ruin my life. Things calmed down quite a bit for the rest of the evening though. She changed her tune about me a bit, and then watched TV with Summer until I got ready to leave. Summer went to bed and I headed home for the night.

Fun isn’t something one considers when balancing the universe, but this … does put a smile on my face.

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Parenting 301: Intermediate-Advanced Teenage Childhood Development

I rode the Shadow to work this morning since it was still nice out, and I figured it would be good for a ride out to Center Valley. I ended up being commandeered in the afternoon and never made it out that far, though. The morning was actually pretty quiet in the shop because the big three were out walking the new maintenance building on North South Oswego. I don’t know why so many people keep getting that address wrong, but at this point it’s just pure comedy.

I spent the morning doing some laptop repairs for Center Valley, which I’m pretty sure were more repairs than I’ve done all year for Oakland. A group of us went to Arby’s for lunch, and I rode with Thomas and the rest of the gang because I had somehow gotten a curved piece of metal in my back tire. When we got back to the shop after lunch, I managed to pull it out and confirm that it was less deep than the remaining tread on the tire, so all was well.

Zach had a big group of us out in the graveyard enrolling Chromebooks for the rest of the day. I, of course, was an efficiency monster and dominated with four complete carts by the end of the day. Summer left Conway and wanted me to call her, but didn’t answer her phone. Then Eaddie needed a ride home from her father’s restaurant.

I ran home to get a helmet for Eaddie, but as soon as I got there, Summer rang in with some disturbing news. Eaddie and I got on the bike and met her back at my house for a chat. We ended up calling Kevin for a bit of advice, and then we wound up at Chili’s for dinner.

I didn’t even order anything for myself, and instead split a full rack of ribs with Summer. Somehow I still ended up eating the most, long after they had finished. I went home stuffed, and ended up on a Discord call with Mitch for quite a while. He offered what advice and comfort he could, and we shared some laughs about the past. Things have changed a lot since January 9th, 2002, but we’re keeping it real.

AM I BEING DETAINED?!?!?

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Just Forkin’ Around!

I took the R1 to work this morning and immediately realized that I was low on gas. I had plenty to get around for the day, though. Gary asked me to take care of an issue upstairs, which I was able to resolve remotely. Then after a while, he wanted some help throwing out a few pallets worth of Chromebook boxes. We hired a group of guys from Louisiana to wire our certified pre-owned carts, and they were just churning through, loading them all up with the new devices.

Gary and I walked over to the warehouse to get someone to help us with a forklift so we didn’t have to load several truck beds full. Justin came out, and I immediately started asking if he would let me drive it. I’m not sure he thought I was serious at first, but eventually he agreed to let me drive it to the dock once he got it out into the road.

I had the absolute time of my life.

It took me four trips for four pallets, while Gary basically spent the entire time just throwing armfuls of boxes into the recycle dumpster. I got pretty fast once I was confident with the controls, and made quick work of it all. My only regret was that I forgot to beep the horn, but I’m betting I’ll get to do the same tomorrow with the last of the pallets.

On the way to put the forklift back in the warehouse, I accidentally got it stuck on the curb, but managed to wiggle it off after Gary threatened to use our work truck to bump me off. That got us a few minutes into lunch, so I just drank a Soylent while Zach and Gary ate their food in the kitchen.

The afternoon was relatively quiet, except for another conference call outside my door. I kept pretty busy checking in on Brody’s tickets since he was out at an auction all day. A bit before school let out, Autumn texted and said she had to get her paycheck, and wanted to know if I would get Eaddie home. Me, being an alpha parent, told her that there was no rush to get her paycheck, and that it was her responsibility to get Eaddie home and to karate.

About an hour and a half later, I got a call from Eaddie that Autumn was being a “b-word” about picking her up. Just as I was about to hang up and call her, Autumn rang beeped in and I level-set her expectations. She seemed to be receptive, and at least calmed herself down while I was talking to her. Eaddie beeped back in, and I told her to take the ride home, and that we would all talk about it when we got home.

I got gas after work, then waited at home for Summer to get back into town. Then I met her at Lowe’s to look at the LG refrigerator we were considering. They had my returned fridge marked down again to $850, which was an incredible deal that made me consider re-purchasing it. If they had told me they would just give me that much of a refund to keep it, I would have gladly done so, and been perfectly satisfied with my backlit food and slow water dispenser.

Summer was tired of my indecisiveness, so we left and went to Walmart so she could pick up ingredients for banana pudding. Then she went home while I checked out clearance before meeting her at the house. We ate leftover pasta until Autumn got home from hanging out at Denny’s, and then we had a chat to try and set some more family expectations. Eaddie has been making an effort to communicate better, but Autumn is continuing her rebellious tendencies.

No matter what we say or do now, she’s going to pursue some kind of relationship with this older kid she works with. She’s also encouraged that someone told her she could be a salaried manager in a few years if she keeps up the good work, but she conveniently forgets that she still works at a goddamn Denny’s. I’ll take Unsuccess Stories for 1000, Alex. I’ve been exactly there.

I eventually made it home to find my charger had errored out on the Grom battery, but it started successfully and strongly. I got a little air in the tires, and it’ll be three for three on getting all of the bikes out this spring. Maintenance needs to happen early this year though, on account of how far behind I’ve gotten.

Slummers gonna slum.

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We Got to Move These Refrigerators

I made it in a couple minutes early today, and relatively quickly got called to build some tech tubs with some Chromebooks to take upstairs to the stage for the virtual kids’ testing. It took us a couple hours at least to get everything together and then for me to help with some updates upstairs, so lunch time was there before I knew it. It was Zach’s birthday, but he brought leftovers, so I ended up picking Summer up to go to Arby’s.

When I got back, I had to work on an updated deployment for Brody, which took up the rest of the afternoon. We’re having to juggle between “safety and security” and being able to test students, and at the end of the day, the job is only difficult because there are no stakes. There is no punishment for bad behavior. We’re forced to use technology to babysit instead of educate.

At one point, I took a break to Duo call Mitch for his birthday. He seemed to be doing well, and was excited to get to chat with Gary and me. I ended up calling him again later in the evening as well, just to catch up some more.

Immediately after work, I met Summer at my house to move my old refrigerator outside. Then her workmate Justin came over to help us lift it into the truck. I had to run to CrossFit to borrow it from Brody for about an hour, and we managed to get the refrigerator delivered to Summer’s house. She and Justin had to go to an after-hours meeting for work, so I went back home to clean up all of the refrigerator parts.

While I was cleaning, I called Mitch, and then managed to get Discord working well enough to talk to both him and Blake for a while. Blake just got his CCNA recently, so I was super proud of him for that. I was surprised how good the audio quality was over the phone app, and it was awesome getting to surprise both of them with the call.

As soon as Summer was done with her meeting, I met her at Lowe’s to try and lay hands on one of the two models of refrigerator that I wanted in exchange for the Whirlpool that I hate. It took forever to get any help, but eventually we did from a guy that Summer actually knew from another old coworker. We didn’t actually get an order placed, but hopefully I’ll get a call tomorrow along with an opportunity to see one of these things in person.

We headed back up to their house to put the shelving back into the refrigerator, and I had a chat to try and reach through to Autumn about her attitude. I tried giving my position some context to see if I could get her attention long enough to accept a lesson in good faith. Parents just want their kids to grow up healthy, wise, and strong.

Now look at them yo-yos. That’s the way you do it.

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A Little Strange

Gary called me just as I was walking out the door this morning to ask for a ride to work. Evidently Zach had his new truck in the shop for an issue with his backup camera, so I was the next best thing. We skated in a few minutes late because of it, and evidently the storms had some things down when we got there. It wasn’t too long before they had it figured out and we were all up and running, but then Brody had some trouble with testing that almost needed assistance. I ended up being able to do some remote updates that I think helped, because he called us off the case.

I spent a large part of the day working on CPPC stuff, but also made time to create a software deployment. Lunch time came around quicker than I realized, and Gary, Thomas and I started for Linhs. Zach pulled back into the parking lot as we were leaving, so I circled around to get him.

After lunch, Linda wanted to come chat with me, so I had her meet me in my office. She was upset, as many are, about some of the perceived hiring practices in the district. I tried to ease her mind the best I could, but ultimately I told her that every job has a leader that can ultimately make whatever call they want. There’s no law about fairness, and it’s not uncommon for employees to develop a feeling of entitlement over a long period of time with a company.

Even quitting time arrived quicker than I expected. Amber texted me that Eaddie didn’t have her phone but needed a ride home. Then Eaddie emailed me and said she thought she left it on the bus. I called over to the Transportation office and found it, then picked her up. Autumn had to work right after school, so Eaddie and I went to Burger King at her request. We had a really good conversation that went all over the place, and then we went up the hill so she could change and shower for the evening.

We headed back to my house with the expectation that we would start the second season of Stranger Things, but she ended up in her room studying all night. I watched a recap of the whole first season that got me stoked enough to rewatch the last episode of the first season. Then Autumn called and wanted to stay home, so I had her pick up Eaddie and we all went to bed.

So you think superficially going through the motions would make you feel better?

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Mid-to-Late

I woke up at a pretty normal time this morning, having slept on my left hand in some way that my middle finger was completely numb. It took a few hours for it to feel normal again, which was worrisome. I assumed I was just falling apart. I got a few well wishes from friends throughout the day, but my favorite was catching up with my old friend Tasha. We always wish each other happy birthdays, but this year we actually carried on a full conversation, and it was really nice to be able to just catch up after so long, even if that was mostly just fussing about parenting problems.

Bác Vân called to tell me happy birthday, and to offer some eggrolls she was warming up. I went next door, and she had me look at her sewing machine to see if I could find a replacement gear for the one that had crumbled with age. Then as soon as I got back home, Eaddie called and wanted to know if I was picking her and Maristella up from their all-region band event. I rushed through a shower and brushed off a couple more fussy phone calls rushing me along to get there. Then I took them through Wendy’s for some lunch before taking them to Summer’s to eat and change clothes.

I sat in the quiet dark until they were ready for me to take them back. As we made our way back to the Center, Eaddie asked me to record the entire concert. It would have been really nice to know ahead of time so I could find a tripod or something. I dropped them off and went home to change and try in vein to find another solution. Then I met up with Summer for the concert after she left her quiz bowl tournament.

The concert was okay until they went to play Africa by Toto, and the conductor basically stood up there with her hands by her sides just sort of wiggling around like she was dancing. I hoped that Eaddie would get a flute solo for the part I had encouraged her to play years ago, but instead the song was slow and relatively awful. She could have done the entire song better by herself.

Summer took the girls back to their respective homes and then came over so we could go to Lowe’s. I didn’t recognize who he was at first, but Kelsea’s husband, Manuel was there and tried to help us find a fridge. I was already cranky after a pretty annoying day, and then I felt like I basically lost Summer to a sales guy, so I got hyper annoyed and kept wandering off to look at things I had already researched online. At the end of it all I felt really shitty and apologized, and we just left so I could continue shopping online.

We went by Superfast so Summer could retrieve the gift she had gotten me, and then went back to my house for a little bit. I had a moment, or several, and then she went on home to the girls. I wrapped up and eventually followed after her for the night.

Eaddie was up watching TV with her when I got there, and just kept wanting to eat my food. I was still having a rough go and just went to the bedroom to listen to music and play on my phone. Then Eaddie wanted to watch Stranger Things with me, but I was just too tired. Summer came to bed and put on a documentary about mushrooms. Mom and Dad called to wish me happy birthday, and eventually we all went to sleep.

Does 39 feel cranky?