Let Your Hearts Grow a Little Fonderer

I woke up in an anxiety attack this morning, which was a new experience for me. Summer was there, so I just clutched onto her and rode it out. I vaguely remember an unpleasant dream, but I don’t really thing that set it off. We got up after a little while and she took the girls home while I worked on the house. I sort of had a direction I wanted to go, but I didn’t really execute it very well. Hopefully it’s at least staged for next time so I can jump right in.

I think I want to run some new speaker wire soon, and I might as well unbox the other two tower speakers I have left, if only to get the oversized shipping boxes out of the way. I keep getting caught up in the fantasy of moving into a larger house, but I need to remember our goal of just saving money. We could be making even faster progress if we’d focus on those efforts when it comes to shopping and food, but we’re just too comfortable.

Summer and Eaddie came back after a while to ride their bikes to the tennis courts. I kept doing what I was doing on into the late evening, though I slowed down kind of early. My 20-year high school reunion was this weekend, and I’ve been saying I didn’t want to go ever since the five-year. I don’t think I was feeling regret, but maybe a little sadness because I didn’t feel regret?

School wasn’t a particularly fun experience for me. I cycled through a couple close friends from first grade through 12th, but overall didn’t have a whole lot of love for anyone I grew up around. I’m sure there were some people there that I wouldn’t have minded seeing, but overall I felt indifference toward most everyone I saw in the pictures. I don’t know if that makes me a worse human, or just a cranky old man filled with bitter grudges. I’m not sure I care about that either. As far as I’m concerned, the simulation isn’t rendered much beyond my character viewpoint anyway. I hope everyone is doing well for the most part, but I don’t think anybody that I really would have wanted to see was making an appearance.

When I wrapped up at home, I headed up to Summer’s for the evening. Autumn was still at a band event, so the three of us that remained watched The Voice until Summer went to bed. Then Eaddie and I watched two episodes of House before she went to bed. Autumn made it home and reported that her band and color guard both placed first. Then it was off to bed.

I’m happy to stay in touch if anyone wants. I just don’t think anyone wants.

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