These Axe Puns Are Bringing Me Down

I got up a little early this morning so we could head up to Bentonville for Brandon’s semi-surprise birthday shindig. Brandie messaged me early to let me know she was bailing on us, so after dressing up and washing the car, I picked up Josue and we headed out of town. We stopped in Ozark at Rivertowne BBQ for lunch, and though the food tasted pretty good, it seemed to lack in presentation a bit. At least the portions were huge, and I boxed up about half of mine.

We still had a bit of time, so we continued up to Fayetteville and stopped at Kohl’s so I could burn my $45 in bonus cash. I assume the slight difference in climate drove up the demand for winter wear, because they had a ton of coats on clearance. I picked up another hoodie and a coat after I couldn’t find anything else compelling. I wish I could have fit into one of the leather jackets better, but they were super tight around the shoulders. Both Josue and the cashier acted stunned when I checked out under five bucks for the two articles, but their rewards program doesn’t have me fooled. Luckily by spending so little this time, I think I’m out of the cycle of repeat visits to spend rewards.

At last, we made the last of the trip to the Urban Forest Axe House and met up with Diana, Brandon and his brother Ryan, and a couple of his other friends. Our coach was quirky and a little awkward at times, but it was a good time. Diana brought snacks, though Josue and I were still pretty full from our big lunch. My second throw was a bulls-eye, but when it came down to Diana and myself for the finals, she won with a killshot that I had never been able to nail, and eventually ignored in favor of the larger and lower bulls-eye.

Once our time was up there, Brandon decided we should go by Dave & Buster’s for some drinks and gaming. We all sat at the bar, and I chugged soda waters as we visited. Brandon talked to me a little about his job, which was the first we had really talked much about anything since we were all kind of busy throwing axes. Eventually we got up to play some games, though I didn’t spend very much. My birthday promo had expired, and the place was kind of busy anyway, so we just mingled for a little while and then left.

Ryan suggested we go to Bariola’s for cheap appetizers and free ice cream, so we made the quick hop down the road and visited some more. It seemed like a pretty good pizza joint, but the cheap appetizers were perfect for sharing and just hanging out. In the end, I asserted my dominance by creating a huge ice cream cone, and eventually it was back to the road to head home.

I really hate that drive… And after all that, I never even got out of the state!

Little John Mountain

We got up a little early this morning so we could have a day up on Petit Jean. Summer took Autumn to get things to make sandwiches while I went home to clean up. Then the girls and my dad met at my house so we could drive up the mountain. We went up the back way and stopped at the bear cave trail first, where we had lunch in the back of the car. It was cool, but great weather to be out in the wilderness. We climbed up on some of the rocks where we found some chiseled out steps, and I collected a few mosses, and Dad took a bunch of pictures of nature. Autumn didn’t originally want to go at all, but once we were there she insisted that her knee was fine to continue trailblazing and climbing up rock faces.

The next stop was Mather Lodge to clean up a bit, and then we continued to the Cedar Falls overlook. As the day progressed, it seemed to get windier and cooler, but the rain never showed up. Summer wanted to go to a new coffee shop on the mountain, so we had some drinks while the girls played Scrabble. Then it was off to the Petit Jean gravesite. That’s where it was the coldest with the most wind. I don’t think Eaddie really put anything together in her head for the homework she had on the subject, but it was still a nice day to get out of doors. It was personally very aggravating to feel how I’ve aged since I last spent any significant amount of time hiking, and I think Dad felt the same way. I guess the best thing any of us can do is keep at it to maintain dexterity.

We took the interstate back home, which felt quite a bit longer, and definitely more boring. Dad and Summer each went home while the girls stayed with me to watch TV while I started some laundry. Once that was done, Summer came back and we met my parents at Bocadillo for a birthday dinner and ice cream. Mom didn’t seem too happy that it wasn’t the same type of Mexican place they usually visit, but I thought it was good. Afterward we got some dessert and I split a strawberry and cream funnel cake with Summer and Eaddie that was just divine.

With this year’s birthday plans out of the way, I took the girls back to their car and went to Amanda’s to check on her cats one last time. Then it was back home to finish up some laundry before bed.

I’ve really taken a lichen to you.

No One Mourns the Wicked

I slept in a little later than I meant to this morning. I had to wake Eaddie up to get her to her friend’s house, and then I stopped by the post office to return my first Fossil watch on the way home. I had a lunch date with Brandon, so I headed home to shower and then met him at Linh. He had come down to visit after moving again to Seattle, so we had a lot of catching up to do.

As soon as we finished, I headed home to change, then picked Summer up to head to Conway. I had a bunch of Kohl’s Cash to burn, and then we continued to Little Rock to meet Julie and my parents for dinner. They decided on Samantha’s Tap Room, and boy was I unimpressed. It felt like high prices and fine dining portions, but almost everyone’s food was overcooked and dry or tough. Our waitress was nice enough, but nobody wanted to send anything back. Having to pay for sides à la carte just added insult to injury. I felt like they just grabbed bottles of “Asian” sauce and used it wherever they could to seem worldly. I would have had to stop by a Wendy’s afterward if I hadn’t gotten some hunks of steak from Mom and Julie after I finished my lamb “lollipops.”

We all took Mom’s car to the Robinson Center for the show, and made it inside with plenty of time to spare. Julie had gotten us all tickets to see Wicked, which I’d wanted to see several years ago, but with little priority. It was an incredible story, though it was difficult for me to understand well over half of the words being sung. I was familiar enough that it didn’t have a huge impact on my enjoyment, but Mom apparently fell asleep during the first act. The intermission didn’t seem particularly necessary, but seemed nice anyhow. The set changes were awesome to see live, but I wished I had binoculars in spite of our relatively close seating.

After the show, it took us forever to get out of the parking garage. It seemed like they just cleared out everybody in front of us before we could leave. Once back to my car, Summer and I headed home, making one quick stop at the Conway Rally’s for some fries to fill my completely unsatisfied belly.

Like a ship blown from its mooring.

Magic Screams 2019

Summer went to get the girls this morning after spending the night with friends, and I went home to clean up and get ready for our trip to Magic Springs. We left right around lunch time and headed down to Hot Springs to meet Ronda, Steven, and Maleea at Outback Steakhouse. We got behind some pretty slow traffic for the majority of the trip, so we ended up getting there quite a bit after them. The service was pretty great when we did get there though, and it was pretty funny how much bread we were going through.

After we ate, we headed to the park. Along the way, something flew up over the car ahead of us and gave me a pretty big chip in the windshield. I’ll have to get that fixed immediately so it doesn’t get worse. The park was fun, and Summer let us talk her into riding all the roller coasters. Eaddie really enjoyed them, and she and Maleea had a good time together. I couldn’t fit into the restraints for the X-Coaster, so Summer ended up riding that one without me. At the end of it all, our last wait was a ridiculously slow, short line for the bumper cars. They only had six cars, and hardly anyone doubled up.

Steven wanted to treat some of Ronda’s family to dinner, so gathered up the convoy and headed to Rod’s Pizza Cellar. We got there not long before closing, but the service was great there too, and the pizza was amazing. We got a 17″ spinach bacon alfredo that was by far our favorite at the table. It was the perfect end to a great day. On the way out of town, we stopped for some more spring water. The drive back home had me exhausted, but we made it in one piece past dozens of deer by the road. Now I’m excited to go again in the summer.

3 spoopy 5 me!

Under the Limit

I got up this morning and headed home to get ready for Bikes, Blues, and BBQ. The bike was washed, but I still had to clean and lube the chain as soon as I got home, and then it was a quick shower and scramble around the house to find all the little things I wanted to bring. We met Allen at his house, then followed him to the ATM and then to pick up Charlotte. We took the interstate all the way to Ozark, and I’m surprised we didn’t lose them for good right then and there.

The gas station was packed with bikes, but somehow they spotted us once they got there. Charlotte made it all the way there without eye protection, so Allen made her pick up some sunglasses and we sat down for a quick lunch. I thought we’d just pick something out of the hot case, but Allen and I both ended up ordering for table service. Summer and I shared a ribeye and eggs, and he had a chili dog while Charlotte ate a hamburger from the case.

We hit the road as soon as we finished eating, and I should have talked to Allen first about his speed. It took me all day long to convince him that his speedometer was reading way too high, and that he was just barely crawling along. I took it super slow, but we just kept losing them and having to stop and wait. I figure he averaged in the low 40s, and even being passed by an SUV wasn’t enough of a hint for him. It made my ride pretty miserable, but he just refused to try and keep up, which hasn’t ever really been like him in the past.

We made one stop for gas just as we got out of the woods, and then made our way to Dickson Street. The place was packed just as it always is, but I managed to snag a parking spot right on the corner of where we’ve always parked before. Allen and Charlotte finally caught up to us, and we made our way down to the food tents. I got my refillable cup for way cheaper this year because they offered a single day cup for $10 instead of the normal $25 or more for the whole weekend. Then we wandered around collecting a little swag wherever we could.

The train pulled in after not very long, and we decided it would be fun to take a ride to Baum Stadium instead of driving. The train left every half hour, and even though it was a short ride, I thought it was worth the $10 round trip tickets just to experience the old train cars.

Baum was typical as well, but this year RumbleOn came out swinging with a wind tunnel money booth. Summer and I both got a turn in exchange for our motorcycle VINs, and we really scored big time. They had some funny money thrown in along with the singles, but we could use it to buy prizes from their booth. I caught $12 in real money plus like another $25 in the fake stuff. Summer did pretty close to the same, and they rounded us up a couple times just to give us more stuff. We walked away with 22 singles, two shirts, and two insulated cups, as well as a couple souvenir poker chips made for the rallies.

We hit all the tents there, then took the train back to Dickson where we got dinner. I had the best alligator I’ve had yet, which was battered like catfish. We all basically lost the Cherokee Casino wheel spin because we all won $10 in free plays, when all we really wanted was some hand sanitizer or lip balm. We wandered around a little more, but were pretty exhausted by that time, so we headed on home.

Allen still refused to keep up, so we just left them and made the trip home as quickly as possible. I thought it had started to sprinkle just as we got into town, but it was really just a massive cloud of bugs hanging out over a bridge by the lake. It was super gross, so we had to shower before we could do much else. When Allen got home, he called and said he dropped his bike as we were leaving Fayetteville, but luckily nothing was damaged. Overall, aside from an incredibly slow ride, it was a great success.

Next year we’re riding the Grom so they can keep up.

I’ve Got a Package for You

I don’t know how, but I lost about 15 minutes this morning somewhere. At least it was nice weather, so I picked the Grom for the day. Today was the day for people to come and fetch me from my office. First it was a needy one from down the hall, and then it was maintenance from opposite ends of the campus. They came and got me while I was on the phone with Becky talking about her impromptu retirement and move to Asurion. We walked for what seemed like forever, but I did get to see the balcony at the Center in all its pitch blackness. The office makes for a nice, spooky hideaway. Once I fixed that wireless issue, it was off to the arena for more of the same, plus some printer fudging.

Lunch was there before I knew it, and I squeaked out just in time to catch Allen and Gary heading to McDonald’s. I tried the Bacon Big Mac after fighting with their WiFi and app for a while, and I was quite pleased with it. It didn’t hit me like a ton of bricks either, which was odd and satisfying.

When I got back to the high school, I dug into some software and got to brag about how smartly I created an uninstallation/upgrade package. Feelsgoodman.jpg

I rode home and unboxed a huge package from Amazon with a bunch of Tide PODS and aquarium goodies. The hang-on breeding boxes seemed really great, so I set one up for a betta in the bathroom, and then netted out three cherry shrimp to move to the Imagitarium. It seems like I lost several more of them, but it’s possible they’re just hiding really well in all the vegetation. Summer and Eaddie came over as soon as they could after their trip around town. Autumn had another appointment in Little Rock before a football game tonight, and Summer had to go by the shop to take care of some things at the end of the day.

Tech’s Family Night was happening at the train depot, and Summer wanted to go for the announcement of the winners of Paint the Town Green and Gold. The food truck selection was abysmal, but I managed an Old Post Bar-B-Q sandwich with great success. Eaddie went blue with some shaved ice. We weren’t there too long before we spotted a furry playing with any dog it could find. Then it was time for the announcements. Summer won Best New Participant with her painting and crushed cars at Superfast, and she was so excited to run up on stage.

We didn’t stick around for the pep rally since Eaddie had homework and I’m pretty sure we all hate pep rallies. It was back to my house until Autumn finished with the band. Summer started falling asleep on the couch while Eaddie spent like seventy two hours writing a single paragraph. I worked on the aquariums a bit more until they left and I got ready for bed myself.

I simply cannot express to you in words how low of a priority this is for me.

Let’s Get Weird

We got up a little early this morning so we could get out of town for lunch. Our first stop was Home Depot to pick up some work lights I bought, and then we went to a little diner called Taylors’ Made on the other side of Conway. Summer had breakfast food, and I got the reuben. It was all pretty good, but I didn’t care for the super thin onion rings. I wish we had tried some of the appetizers.

As we got into Little Rock, I decided to go down to the Park Plaza Mall rather than the usual McCain. I figured it would be closer to the hotel, and we could kill enough time there until check-in time at the hotel. Summer was happy to look around but was reluctant to pick up anything. I got an armful of clothing from Dillard’s, which reminded me of how much I hated shopping there with my parents as a child. It was just always so boring, but now I get it. We covered most of the mall by about 3 in the afternoon, and then headed to the Wyndham Riverfront to get our room.

Eventually Amanda messaged me back, and we met her at the Red Lobster for dinner. Sarah decide she didn’t want to go to the concert, so she brought her father along instead. Summer and I got our fix of endless shrimp, and then we headed back for the concert.

We both parked at the hotel and walked the quarter mile or so to the arena. We were early, so we had to stand out in the heat for a little while before we could go in. Once the line started moving, I had trouble getting the TicketMaster app to load the tickets, but fortunately I saved them to Google Pay and that worked to get us in.

The concert was incredible, but I was surprised they didn’t have the upper bowl open. We were in a lower section of removable seating right by the stage, so we could see everything really well. It was awesome having the orchestra there, especially seeing a McLovin lookalike on the French horn. They started off with some Indiana Jones, and we loved the Superman theme song. They took a 20 minute break after the warm up routine, and then Weird Al came out with his crew and performed a huge mix of songs I expected, as well as some I’d never even heard before. Afterward, Summer and I made our way through the merch line to get a couple shirts, and then walked back to the hotel for the evening.

And protect them from the evils of the world, like trigonometry and prime numbers!

Bánh Mì on the Rooftop

We all slept in quite a bit today. Summer got up and ready to hit the gym while I ate leftover Mexican. I cut up some potatoes and made some really skinny fries to go with some chicken strips for everyone else when Summer got back from the gym and from picking up Autumn. Immediately after she ate, she started super-cleaning the house while I more or less wandered around uselessly. I should have gone home to clean up, but I didn’t.

In the late afternoon, we got the girls loaded up to go swim at my parents’ house. I remembered that I had a pickup order ready at Lowe’s, so I ran in there first, then to my house for what was supposed to be a quick stop. My portable A/C unit had stopped because it was full of water, so I had to empty it out and clean the air filter before we left. Autumn had a couple hot dogs at my parents’ house before joining the rest of us to swim for a while. When we got out, I pulled out some super old fireworks to explode, and the girls didn’t seem to want any part of it. None of them really wanted to be around it. Summer at least got into some sparklers.

It seemed to get late pretty fast, and Amanda beat us to the junior high, so we left to get my keys I had forgotten at my house, then went to meet her there. The fireworks show had been moved to the aquatic center, and I estimated we would have a pretty good view from the roof. Mom and Dad brought some bánh mì for us to eat on the roof, and they watched from down below. Amanda’s crew had to split before the main show, but I think the better part was seeing the surrounding fireworks from around the city and even out of town.

The weather was nice, and there weren’t much in the way of bugs where we were. Once the show got started, I don’t think it even lasted 15 minutes. Most of the low stuff was hidden, but we could see bits of it peeking out over the trees. I assume you couldn’t see much of that from the ground. It was a great time though, and the girls really enjoyed it after begrudgingly climbing a pair of vertical ladders.

Once the show was over and the heavy traffic had left the parking lot, we headed back to Summer’s for the evening. Eaddie and I watched the first episode of Daredevil while everyone else went to sleep, and then we followed suit.

Is it sacrilege to celebrate the birth of America with a picnic of Vietnamese sandwiches?

Without a Paddle

I got up early this morning and drove by McAlister’s to scope out their free tea tumbler day. There was one truck there, so I figured we had a good chance. I got cleaned up and went back to pick up the kids. We only had to wait for about an hour and a half, so really I was kind of over-prepared in bringing my Chromebook and portable charger. By the time we got back with the kids, some woman had gotten there, parked right in front of the door, and made everyone else get out of their cars. She only got more petty over time, dictating the direction of the line and just generally being a nuisance. It got to the point where I ended up just placing an online order so I’d be the first one with food to try and secure my own legitimacy. Fortunately the lady that came up behind us agreed that we were there before her, and let us in the door first for our 5th through 8th spots in the line. They only gave out about 20 cups and limited it to two per household for those 16 and over. Since Jesica came up to meet us earlier, she took the kids’ place in line and we walked out with three cups between us.

The kids just wanted to go back home, so I dropped them off and went back home to load up my kayak. Jesica and I made our way to Dover and stopped at Harps for some lunch meat since she’s on keto. I had meant to bring a Soylent, but the sandwich from McAlister’s ended up being enough to last me all day. Missy spotted us at Moore Outdoors and gave me a shout. Then we dropped off my car and headed to Longpool.

I brought Summer’s kayak, and it felt really shaky. I didn’t remember being that shaky on my 12-footer, but it’s possible I was imagining that. I should have spent some more time paddling around the swimming area first, because it didn’t take me long to spill over. I went down harder than ever before, and bounced across the jagged tops of a super long rocky area. The water was flowing too hard for me to get my footing and make it to shore, so I just tumbled right down the middle of it until I washed up along a rocky shore. My Vibrams didn’t last long there, and my feet ended up getting super bruised trying to walk ahead to gather my things. Fortunately Jesica stayed upright and was able to chase down my kayak, dry bag, and paddle. I just knew we were going to lose the paddle.

The rest of the trip was mostly uneventful, but I did go over a couple more times, and by the end of it my body was so battered and bruised that I could hardly move. I was pretty happy with my upper body workout though, with the speed I was getting across flat water.

We loaded the kayaks onto the Murano, got the truck, and headed back to town. There was a train blocking my way home, so we stopped by Superfast to see Summer for a bit. Then we went to my house to unload the kayaks and headed up to Summer’s. The kids never did get out to swim, so we just sat there with them until Summer got home.

Jesica and I were super hungry, so we went to Las Palmas for dinner. Summer and I shared an amazing parrillada for two. Then we went back and she and Jesica chatted over some wine. I couldn’t do much but sit in one place until bedtime.

Cutthroat tea connoisseurs are the worst.

May I Present to You…

We slept in a bit today since I didn’t really plan on seeing the opening keynote speakers. Breakfast had me feeling a bit off though, which made me a couple minutes late, which in turn made it awkward for me to walk into the first class I was thinking of attending. I ended up finding Ben in his booth for ARKSTE and chatted with him for a bit before making a round through the vendors and eventually finding my way to Esports 101 by the presumably unlikely ByteSpeed.

Fortunately that session ended up being wonderful, and in fact, one of the best I’ve ever attended. The guy was a former esports coach at the collegiate level, and you could tell he both really knew his stuff, and also wasn’t necessarily there just to sell us something. He definitely gave me some ideas for practice that I’ll have to use, assuming this thing ever gets off the ground for me.

My presentation was next after a bit of a break. I followed Adrian in the same room we were in before, and setup couldn’t have been easier for what I needed to do. I had a small crowd, including one guy that didn’t even know what esports are. It was small enough to be a little intimate, and my jokes were received well, so overall I thought it was a success. We actually used up the hour, which was my primary concern, and our conversations kind of floated from Discord to esports in general. All I can do is hope that tomorrow’s session will go as well.

I went to one more session before heading out. Summer came back to pick me up a bit early and was waiting outside, so I ran out after retrieving the laptop power supply I had forgotten in the classroom. Then we stopped by Dick’s to try and find something cheap to earn me the last point I needed for another reward certificate. Once we got that, we headed back to the hotel so she could get ready for dinner.

We met Ben in the lobby and had a few minutes to kill over beer, wine, burgers, and brats. I hadn’t eaten lunch and was pretty hungry, but I didn’t want to kill my appetite right before dinner, but I also didn’t want to be super hungry in case we ended up waiting for another couple hours to get our food in such a big group.

Dinner was at the same Back Porch Grill as last night, so we were welcomed back with open arms. I had the red fish this time, which was excellent. After trying Summers Cajun ribeye, I did have a taste for steak, but I still left satisfied. Summer did some work on some wine and wanted to go back to the room, so we dropped her off before heading to The Porterhouse for the ARKSTE party. I stuck to tea, and we spent most of the time chatting with a couple techs from Conway. The karaoke room was too loud, and the dining room was too old, so we stood by the bar like hip young men and got in the way of servers and ladies wishing to visit the loo.

None of us in our group won a door prize, and then they shut the thing down and we went out the back door. It was a quick trip back across town, and off to bed for one last day. I present early, and I need my beauty rest after today.

The eagle has landed.