Tag: anxiety

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Straight Fire

I had to stop by the wash to give Summer her lunch that she forgot at home, and then I continued home to finish prepping for my hearing. I had pretty much all of my information where I wanted it, but I still wanted to get copies of some things to hand out to the board members. After taking a shower and starting some laundry, I went to Staples for copies of a couple pages. I didn’t realize how much the copies were going to be though, and spent over six bucks for 20 pages.

Afterward I went by the wash and printed the rest of what I needed, and then I read my argument to Summer, Justin, and Cameron before I left. I spent the last few minutes I had re-assembling my handouts and dressing up before Summer came by to pick me up. We made it to the high school a little later than I wanted, but it didn’t really matter anyway.

My dad beat us there. Kevin was inside, I suppose as “the muscle” in case things went really sideways. I was happy to see him. Thomas was manning the recording station. I remembered seeing Andrea, Chrissy, Samantha, and of course Ginni. Six of the seven board members were there, but Jason was absent. Ben showed up right before we started, and I think Jeff showed up a little after we started. Judy had to sit with Marshall, and by five o’clock we were off to the races.

The hearing more or less went how I expected. Marshall had binders for everyone with the supporting documents, which were just the statements given by those that were there when I bumped into Zach, as well as one from Thomas after our conversations. I was really surprised how much some of the statements differed, but I was most bitter about Thomas’s. I chose to assume it was misremembering, rather than outright lying. Given that he has a Pixel with an excellent audio recorder, I don’t know why he wouldn’t have recorded the conversation to get my quotes correct.

The biggest letdown was the fact that Marshall objected to me giving any background of my employment. I think I made my case to the board reasonably well, and I received sad smiles from a couple of them. They went into executive session for about 45 minutes, so I almost got my hopes up while we waited. Things were relatively light outside the boardroom doors, and I chatted with several people there.

When they let us back into the boardroom, they got right to the vote, and only Don voted against my termination. The feeling of the room read very much that there were others present that didn’t feel comfortable with the situation, but played the political game of backing the superintendent they had just hired for the next three years. Onward to Plan B.

I tried to get Kevin to join us for dinner, but it was just Ben with Summer and me. He chose Linh’s and we chatted over noodles. My phone had been blowing up, but I tried not to pay too much attention to it. I did jokingly ask Judy if I would get to fill out an exit survey. Brody confirmed he was trying to open a position for me, so I’ll have that option. Ben insisted on paying, even though I had originally offered to buy his if he actually showed up. I don’t even know why I was surprised that he said he would, because he’s one of the most supportive friends I’ve ever had. I did have to joke that it took me getting fired to bring him back to town though.

After dinner, we dropped him back off at his truck at the high school. Then I went home to clean up before catching up with Summer at her house. Shortly after I got there, I remembered I had a pickup order for some chicken strips at Walgreens, so I took the Model Y across town to get those. Summer was feeling mixed emotions about the day, but I felt nothing but relief for the moment. At least now I know what path to take next.

Six to four isn’t a bad ratio. At least I’m not a quitter!

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The Old Man and the Pleas

I got up this morning and forced myself into the day. With my school board hearing approaching at a dreadnought’s pace, I had to formalize my thoughts into something I could actually present. I had some coffee and finalized some plans for our weekend trip first, since that happens first. Just as I was nearing time to head home, Allen texted and invited me out to lunch.

I met him at New China, and we spent the hour catching up. He said he lost his aunt that raised him, but he was more interested in what I’d been up to lately. I filled him in on the craziness, and he wished me well. I somehow managed to make it out of there without a bellyache, and he insisted on paying for my meal. I gave him a quick ride around town in the Model 3, and then I headed toward home.

John, the electrician, hit me up for some money again. I tried to withdraw it from an ATM, but I guess the amount was too high. It didn’t tell me why, but it declined the transaction and spat out my card. I headed home instead, to clean up for the day. Then I went to a location with humans to get his cash. He eventually showed up to my house, and I clarified what I wanted done. He seemed insistent on doing something completely different, but hopefully I got my message across about what I’d really like done. I’ll probably have to clean out the corner and precut some holes to make absolutely certain, but I gave him a little over half the cost of the job, and he was on his way.

I spent the rest of the afternoon recompiling what I wanted to present to the school board. It didn’t look as pretty as I had hoped, but maybe most of the text should be saved for myself anyway. I can always have a couple copies of that on hand, while giving out mass copies of my supporting documents for closer inspection. I’ll have several hours of uninterrupted time with Summer in the car tomorrow, so that will be my chance to really fine-tune everything.

It started to storm after nightfall, so I rushed to pack and then visited Dad before heading up to Summer’s for the evening. It got late fast, and I tried to pack too much into my evening. In the end, I made it to bed by midnight after a nightcap to calm the nerves. I’ll set an alarm for the first time in a month, and it’ll be one foot in front of the other for the foreseeable future.

Boldly going forward ’cause we can’t find reverse.

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We Have a Date

Eaddie woke me up from a pretty deep slumber this morning, and I hopped right up to get her to school just in time. Summer was at work, and Autumn left super early because of an Ed Rising competition out of town. I made it home after dropping Eaddie off, and it was a cold, slow start to the morning for me until I got an email from Judy with only a single date and time for my hearing.

After that, I went outside to try and reset the Pathfinder’s anti-theft system, but after pulling the battery and jumping through hoops with the ignition, I finally called a locksmith that told me it was most likely a bad computer that would just have to be replaced. That, of course, means either finding another old one to swap myself, or taking it to the dealership since it would involve reprogramming the keys anyway. That whole car just hardly seems worth the trouble, but hopefully airing it out today will at least help with the smell.

Later in the afternoon, Bác Vân called and asked me to come oil her back door because she was having trouble opening it. I felt bad for Doug, because she kept griping about him not fixing it, but apart from replacing the rollers, there wasn’t much else we could do. I guess that can be a project for tomorrow.

I thought I might accomplish a bit more than that today, but my mind just kept spinning in circles. I need a way to reboot myself, but I just don’t know what I need and at this point it feels impossible. At least I have a date for my board hearing, so that should help destress me. Maybe.

Eaddie got a ride home from a friend after her band buddies program. Once Summer got home, I headed up and grabbed some tacos along the way. Then I spent all evening trying to plan a couple days in Kansas City again. This is all just so much happening at once, and I’m done having it all on the back of my mind.

At least I’ve got rewards.

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Noisy

We didn’t get up to much today. We lounged around the house for most of the morning until Summer made Autumn go to the gym with her. Eaddie came out and sorted all of her music she had shuffled in her room. I thought I might make it home, but never did.

The girls decided they wanted burgers for dinner, so Summer and Autumn brought back everything we needed. I cleaned up one of the kitchen cabinets a bit, but otherwise spent a lot of time spinning in circles. Eventually we had to start prepping dinner while Autumn took Eaddie to pick up a few things at the last minute.

Noah came over when he was done with work, and I shuffled burgers through a frying pan as quickly as I could. It wasn’t super satisfying, and none of the spatulas were rated for a hot pan, but we got it done. Then Eaddie put together half of a gingerbread house while Autumn and Noah started The Lord of the Rings. Of course Autumn fell asleep pretty early, and Noah finished it with Eaddie.

Summer went to bed and I finally just took a shower there. Then it was off to bed in spite of how loud all of the TVs were playing.

Too bad there’s no noise cancellation for what’s going on inside my head.

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Can I Speak to Your Manager?

I got up this morning and made breakfast burritos. Autumn didn’t want one, so I had two. They were pretty great. Summer had to work, and the girls wanted to go out shopping. I went home for a bit, and then had the girls take me to Superfast so I could get the Pathfinder. I took it to Splash to vacuum out the inside, and then ran it through the car wash. It took hours to get the thing clean, and it still smelled awful. I thought it smelled like cats, but Summer said it was just mold or mildew from holding so much water for so many years.

Eventually I made it home, but was caught in limbo waiting to hear something back from Mark. I really wanted to send my request for a hearing yesterday, but that turned into this morning, which turned into “before 4:30,” which turned into “freakin whenever.” I eventually got it sent, and this was the easy part.

I headed back to Splash to catch Summer on her way out. She had to close shop late, and then we headed up to her house. The girls came out for a little bit while Summer ate some leftovers and I picked at some summer sausage. Summer got ready for bed, and then I got a message from Ernie, who wanted to chat on the phone. I called and talked to him for a little while, and he kept wanting to get together sometime. While I’d enjoy hanging out for a bit, the kilt club drama sounded a whole lot like the furry club drama I had just read about. I guess that’ll teach me to hang around Facebook.

I’m shipping up to Boston, whoa!

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Clean Car Gone

Autumn found the missing key fob for the Mercury this morning, so I was all set to transfer ownership to cousin Nick and Phil. Eaddie convinced me to pick up donuts on the way to drop her off, and then I took the car to the quarter wash for its first bath, possibly ever. I tried going to Superfast to visit with Summer after that, but she was too busy to come out. I ended up taking it to Splash to vacuum everything out, and finally ended up at home to wait for the guys to show up.

They got there a little bit late, but it wasn’t too bad. They were in a bit of a rush to get back though, on account of some expected bad weather. Nick drove the Montego around the block first, and then they were off. After that, I messed around with my old email archive for a while before picking up some salads from Zaxby’s to take to Summer for lunch.

I waited around for her in the office for quite a while, and got hangry enough to eat without her. The paperwork her parents dropped off for the Pathfinder was completely wrong, so that frustrated me as well. I knew we wouldn’t actually get that car out of the shop right then. She finally came up to eat, and then I went home to a super cold house for the rest of the afternoon. I did at least call Mollie and Leslie for some help, and Leslie was able to produce a document I needed. It was nice to talk to them even for a moment.

Eaddie ended up calling me for a ride when she was done with school. We stopped by the shop again to give Summer the correct paperwork for the Pathfinder, and then continued on home. I thought we’d leave again so I wouldn’t have to keep the Tesla at their house, but of course once Summer made it home with her own work frustrations, she didn’t want to leave again.

Laura Beth eventually called me to discuss my work woes, but didn’t have any additional insight, and I felt like I wasted her time. Finally, it fell to me to book our stay in Branson. Fortunately I stumbled upon a bundle through the Titanic exhibit site, and managed to get tickets for that, the Dolly Parton Stampede, and a hotel all for a pretty significant discount from their individual prices.

It truly is a parody of a town, and I hate tourist traps.

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MonteGo

I took Eaddie to school this morning and then went home rather aimlessly. It’s been three weeks, and I’ve been feeling the stress of not knowing what will happen. Eventually I got showered, and Summer asked for lunch since they were busy at Superfast. I picked up some corndogs from Sonic and brought them up to her office. Of course she was busy when I got there, so I had to wait around for her to be ready to eat.

When I left there, I went to the revenue office to see what I would need to register the Pathfinder without a title. Their parking lot was absolutely packed, so I went home for a break before trying again. By then, they were completely dead and I was the only one waiting with a number. Apparently the form I found online was wrong, so I got a different form from the girl there, and went back to Superfast to talk to Summer.

Cousin Nick was ready to move on buying the Montego, so I went home to trade vehicles, and then made it up to Summer’s to clean all of her stuff out of the car. I grabbed some Freddy’s on the way, and paid for it again by the end of the evening. We got everything out of the car and found the title, but couldn’t find the other key fob. Hopefully it turns up tomorrow.

Eaddie was in bed super early, so I never really saw her. Autumn passed through a couple times when she wanted something. Summer was exhausted from work, so of course she went to bed as quickly as she could.

I think I’d just rather be on a boat.

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Promo Sunday

Autumn wanted to go to a fundraiser pancake breakfast at Stoby’s today, but since I was the only one willing to take her, she decided she’d rather stay home. Summer ended up having a relatively full day planned, so I went home and spent the rest of the day feeling like I was just kind of waiting for something that would never happen.

I’ve been trying not to get too stressed out about my suspension, but it’s unnerving not knowing how the school board will feel. It’s easy to swing my feelings in both directions. On one hand, they’ll want to show solidarity with the superintendent they just hired for the next three years. On the other hand, I feel like I have a pretty reasonable case. Unfortunately I’m not sure how much reason will actually play into what happens, but all I can do is plead my case.

Summer asked me to stop by for dishwasher detergent on the way back, so that got me out of the house and on a bit of a quest. I had a birthday cinnamon roll from McDonald’s in the morning, so I decided to go to Wendy’s for a $1 Dave’s Single for a late lunch. Then I went to Walmart and scoped out some heavy duty rakes before grabbing detergent. On the way back across the store I ran into Sharon and shared my woes with her. She was feeling pretty frustrated by the state of the union as well. Then I grabbed my rake and headed out of the store. My last stop was Freddy’s for a free birthday dessert, but due to some stupid system glitch, I ended up having to use points instead of my free reward. That cost me about six bucks worth of rewards.

I finally made it up to Summer’s, and Autumn had mowed, and Summer had cleaned up inside the house. They had a couple candles going that made me feel a bit nauseous, so I put them out and just tried to stay quiet and calm. Eaddie ended up wanting some help with some homework that she was really just feeling too lazy to figure out herself. She eventually woke herself up enough to complete it though. She came out later playing Autumn’s clarinet, which I dabbled on for a bit as well. Then everyone was off to bed.

Except Eaddie, who came out for a 10 o’clock dinner.

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Apply Yourself

I dropped the girls off at school again this morning, and then went straight home to work in the yard again. I was by myself this time, which was fine. It was a little cooler, since I started earlier in the morning. Unfortunately I still had trouble getting a good fire going, but I burned up a bunch more leaves and trampled some of the crispier plant stalks that were left standing. I may be able to mow some of it down tomorrow.

Once the fires burned out, I came inside to take a shower. Then I went by Taco John’s and took a late lunch to Summer at the wash. Autumn had been texting us both to try and come up with an alternative to getting back into a car with me, but when the time came, she got over it. I dropped her off at the wash, and then went to Walgreens to drop off the floormats that I needed to return.

Eaddie had a band buddies meet after school, so she got a ride there and then to Dairy Queen, where the FBLA kids were hosting a fund raiser. Desha spotted me, and then Dustin came around and got to hear my exciting story. Otherwise, the Diary Queen experience was pretty awful. The poor teen that was running the place was stressing over a downed computer system. Then the food was all cold and overcooked.

When we finally finished there, I went home to swap cars. Mom and Dad popped in for a moment since they were next door, but then I headed up to Summer’s for the evening. I finished filling out an application for what would essentially be my dad’s old job. Brody texted to basically tell me he was keeping a seat warm for me at Clarksville. If I have to go through the pains of learning a new job, I at least want a raise out of it.

I probably don’t have 43 more years in me though.

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Fn Keys

I tried to sleep in a bit this morning, but I still couldn’t. I got around to making a burrito for breakfast, and then woke Eaddie up to watch Breaking Bad. She eventually got hungry, so I made her a ham, egg, and cheese bagel. Autumn had an away basketball game, but I couldn’t drop her off until the afternoon.

After I finally got Autumn to the high school, I went home to clean up before taking my keys back to Thomas. Tammy met he at the door with a big hug, and then I sat at her desk super awkwardly while Thomas watched me remove the keys from my KeySmart holder. I took the opportunity that this was a really shitty 40th birthday prank, and then went on my way as he walked me right out the door again. It seemed I wasn’t welcome even to visit.

I saw Zach and Greg pulling back in as I left, but decided not to turn around to chat. I went on to visit with Dad and give him the news. We talked for a while, and then Ben called and we talked on the phone for nearly an hour. It seems I have options, but I just need to make a decision.

Eaddie wanted to make shrimp Alfredo, so I met Summer at Walmart for some groceries. I tracked down Amanda while we were there, but she wasn’t able to chat. Then on the way out we ran into Lenetta and one of her kids, who apparently knew Summer. It was fun to realize those connections for a moment, but frustrating to share my termination after she remembered my last one from Asurion.

When we got home, Eaddie resisted coming out to help, but eventually made minimal effort while I made dinner. I enjoy cooking, but not knowing the recipe by heart and having to scroll up and down between different sections of the site to find volumes and steps was incredibly frustrating. I only loosely followed the recipe anyway, and added mushrooms and broccoli to the mix. It turned out really good, though the garlic bread got burned while I tried to defrost it. I was just doing too much at once, and Eaddie was too busy on her phone.

After dinner, Eaddie and I watched a few more episodes of Breaking Bad until I had to pick up Autumn. I brought her home, and then it was pretty quick to bed since Eaddie had her National History Day project the next day.

I couldn’t even get halfway through the book before they started asking for money.