Tag: anxiety

Just after I fell asleep, I was woken up by a call from someone looking for pills. It took me a little while to fall asleep after that nonsense, but I managed. I seem to remember having a few weird dreams though.

We didn’t really have any group projects today, but Ben wanted to go over some phone documentation with me so I’d have a clue what’s going on. Nobody else is at all interested, and I’m still trying to sponge up everything I can. Brain to marshmallow fluff, that got me almost to lunch.

Dale, Zach, Jason, and I went to Morelos for lunch. That made two days of Mexican in a row, but it was good. I had the chili verde lunch special, and it was awesome even if I missed having the salad extras they include with fajitas.

I spent the afternoon at Oakland fixing a few things, but mostly socializing before everyone left for Thanksgiving break. Then I wrapped up with about half an hour at the shop with everyone before we left a little early.

Once home, I had a couple beers and watched my Rocket League solo rank drop some more. Seriously, those silvers are pulling off some crazy moves. I feel like things have changed since I last played competitive solo very much. It wasn’t too long before Summer was home and wanted me to pick up some chicken strips for dinner, so I ran by KFC on the way up, and we wrapped up the night with an episode of Stranger Things, followed by a couple odder episodes of The Office.

Huggy time!

I haven’t felt even close to 100% all day, and there’s always some thing or another gnawing at my brain. I had quite a bit of trouble getting out of bed this morning, but finally made my way to Oakland to play catch-up from the end of last week.

When I got back to the Gardner building, I wandered upstairs to check out the maintenance guys’ progress on gutting the auditorium seating. They were tearing everything out to haul to the scrap yard. I had, and still have strong urges to salvage a couple rows of seating to build a proper home theater. They told me to take all I wanted, but in the end I told Wesley I wouldn’t take any because I have too many higher priority projects that I’m already having trouble starting.

It would have been a pretty amazing opportunity to restore some of those seats, and they were infinitely customizable. I could have built a multi-level seating area and had a real home theater with as many seats as I could physically fit. In the end, I had to make the tough choice not to get any because I wasn’t sure that aligned with the best possible endgame – not to mention simply not having any more physical storage for something like that. Still, it felt like such a shame to let it go to scrap metal.

Insides in knots from my decision to pass up on the seating, I went to Taco John’s to redeem a reward for a combo meal. At least lunch was free today. Then I spent the afternoon at the junior high picking at random work orders to close.

After work, I went to Walmart to try Ronda’s suggestion of haggling with a manager for the electric lawn mowers. I was again conflicted, asking myself why I was there to buy a lawn mower at all. I hadn’t even mowed my lawn in years, but depending on where you look, they were originally $478, $358, or $250. The local store had them for $199.99, and with only two left, I had some dire need to have them both for under $200. They called a CSM out to help, and she said she could only do $300 for the pair. I started to text Summer for feedback, and she came down to $275, then just as quickly to $250 for both, which I accepted. I guess this was my motivation to start mowing.

From there, I went to Summer’s for some leftovers before heading home for the night. That was when I realized that the manager had actually scanned two of the gas powered mowers on my receipt, and had the maintenance guy load one of each into my car. It was an easy mistake to make with the way they were stacked on the shelf, so I guess I’ll have to go back tomorrow to correct it. It’ll be interesting to see if I can talk them into giving me a refund on top of the exchange to get my price below $200 like I wanted.

Josh, Aaron, and Justine were online when I sat down at the computer, so I played a couple really quick rounds of PUBG with them before heading to bed. With any luck, I won’t keep myself up by thinking about all those theater seats going to waste.

Where do you see yourself in five years?

I may have fussed a bit this morning about always being on Team Lift. Jason broke down and said I could trade with noodle-armed Amanda if I wanted, but I didn’t want to do that to her. That shouldn’t have been my call to make. I ended up having to break away to fix something at the junior high anyway, so I had to catch up to the guys at the high school after that was done. We ended up hanging one TV twice because Dale wanted it higher after the fact. We only managed two inches higher, but every bit helped.

After hanging those TVs, we took a break for lunch. I started thinking it, and then Dale said it out loud – Western Sizzlin. We were on the same wavelength, so it was a done deal.

When we got back from lunch, and after a bit of arguing about Jason’s incorrect direction for the naming of Allen’s 90 new laptops, we touched every one of them again to correct them. I ended up hitting a wall, and nobody else was anxious to do any work as usual, so we rode it out until 3:00 and headed home.

I got home and was assaulted by anxiety-inducing emails and tried to mellow out with a couple beers. Such a wasted evening. I was tired anyway.

She’s done worse for only two inches.

Back to work. I woke up pleasantly ahead of schedule and made it to work a few minutes early. It was a pretty light day, with just a couple touch panels to install in the morning, and then the afternoon to myself at Oakland. I guess as far as coming back to work, this wasn’t too bad.

After work, I came home and set up my mini fridge. Summer came over to take me to meet Autumn at band camp for dinner, but I ended up not going. As I got the fridge set up to the point that I had to let it cool down, Mom texted for me to come clean up some leftover spring rolls. I ate and ran, coming home to fill the now-cool fridge with drinks. I ended up removing a couple shelves to get things to fit the way I wanted. It’s a silly convenience, but I like the way it looks with how it’s stocked.

Summer and Eaddie got here just as I was finishing up there, and we had some of Dad’s banana bread with ice cream before bed. I feel exhausted for what little I’ve done today.

I miss being away.

It was kind of an odd day at work today. I had to run to Oakland first thing to take care of some summer school stuff. While I was there, I found my tadpoles were more frog than tadpole. I’m pretty sure they ended up being leopard frogs. They’re going to have to be released in a day or two.

When I finished there, I met Amanda, Dale, and Allen at the middle school to hang a TV and clean out computers. I basically ended up dusting out an entire computer lab before lunch. I met Allen at KFC, then went back with him and Amanda to finish hanging the TV and rearrange another room. That move was so involved, it lasted until the end of the day even with all three of us. It was nice to have a group project where everyone actually kept busy.

After work, Summer and I went to pick up the betta from the library at the junior high, but Jessica had already taken it home because I took too long. From there, we went to Gardner to check out some discard stuff. We ended up taking every bit of it – two full-sized filing cabinets, two bookshelves, a kid’s table, and a couple raised monitor stands. It took us three trips to the junior high to drop off most of that, and then we took the table to Summer’s house for Eaddie. On the way, we stopped to pick up some Taco John’s because we worked up our appetites, then took it back home to eat over an episode of The Office.

There’s an ugly monster in my head that someone put there a long time ago.