Tag: lessons

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Radio Silence

She said we weren’t good for each other. I asked for some time, and she said she would think about it until the end of the day.
But she had already thought about it for much longer than that. I just didn’t know it.

She said I hurt her feelings when I joked. I asked her if she would talk about things and work on it with me.
She quietly shook her head.

In a relationship that should be two people communicating, she chose not to communicate.

She chose not to work on us, expecting instead to fall into some effortless fairy tale fantasy.

If something is wrong, you have to say something is wrong. You can’t go on telling someone they’re perfect in every way, and then expect them to know that something needs to change. Some people are more compatible than others, but no matter what, every single relationship is a choice. Sometimes that choice requires a lot of hard work.

I wish I had been given a choice at all.

Thanks for your support.

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Premonition

We’ve entered the stage of heavy dreaming and suspicion. I find myself wanting to know absolute truths. Do I question what’s in front of me, or do I just let it go now without a fight? If I fight, is it worth the struggle, or is it best to leave it all behind?

I’m at a disadvantage when I assume the best in people. I’ve grown sarcastic and cynical, yet assume honesty and take everyone else at face value. I guess that’s my fault. Everyone’s got a story. I just wish it wasn’t so hard for people to share it sometimes.

I tried to separate myself this time as a precaution, and I thought it helped at first. Maybe it did. Or maybe it was my undoing.

Or maybe it’s something else entirely.

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We’ll All Float On

I tend to not let myself get too excited. It helps to mitigate the disappointment when shit goes sideways.

Only days until the finish line. I let myself get excited. Summer was finally here. We were supposed to leave for New Orleans today for the quiz bowl tournament. Not only was I excited, but I spread that excitement to my friends, and they were excited too. They’ve been asking me about our plans, and letting them know I wasn’t going was splitting myself open again every time.

I let myself get excited. Summer had so much in store for us. For the first time in such a long time, I was looking forward to the future. We were going to take a trip to Wisconsin to pick up the girls after their stay with her sister. It was going to be such a fun trip. I was so looking forward to it.

The support structure is here in full force. Hardy and true. Built to withstand so much worse.

But even a clean break leaves things broken.

So, are you coming to the game?

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Lessons in Journalism: Write Things Down

I hate when I come up with something I’d really like to write, and then the thought escapes me before I get it down anywhere. I downloaded the WordPress Android app hoping I could keep drafts, but the system isn’t ideal for me. I’ll just have to continue using Google Keep for jotting notes, and then transfer those thoughts to posts later.

Today was a celebration of all things tortilla. I started off with a chicken and gravy burrito from Taco John’s, which was actually super good. Lunch was at Las Palmas for a taco salad. Then after work, Jesica wanted to go to La Chiquita where I got to try her ceviche, and I had Chiquita Nachos which had a bit of everything.

After dinner, we went to the Walmart Neighborhood Market to pick up some things. We’re grilling at work on Monday, so I picked up the stuff I needed for a broccoli, rice, and cheese casserole.

I’ve started saying “please” and “thank you” to Alexa when I ask her to do things, with the hope that she remembers how nice I was when the AI takes over.