Tag: anxiety

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Black Holiday

I took a personal day to hang out with Eaddie since school was out for Martin Luther King Jr. Day and Summer had to work. It was quiet when I got up, so I had a pancake and started watching Luke Cage. Ronda messaged me on Marco Polo to say that Long John Silver’s had a for-lease sign up, which made me pretty sad. When Eaddie eventually came out of her room, she watched a bit of TV with me. She didn’t want to leave the house at all, so I left her to her chores while I went home to shower.

I hadn’t been there in a while, so the inside temperature had actually dropped super low. I had to give it some time to warm up before I could do much of anything. Eventually I had my bath and then had to head back out for dinner. I decided to make shredded beef street tacos with chipotles in adobo sauce so we could eat the aging cilantro and sour cream in the fridge.

I got everything loaded into the Instant Pot and sat down to a couple more episodes of Luke Cage while we waited for Summer to get home. Autumn was dropped off with McDonald’s for her and Eaddie, which aggravated me beyond having the already super late dinner. I thought the tacos were pretty good, but I forgot to get the veggie mix out of the fridge again for some reason.

I hate that this whole weekend was just another bust. It was a long one, too.

This is worse than a lack of motivation.

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I’m not kidding! Why do they always think I’m kidding???

The middle school started ACT Aspire testing this morning, and I drew the short stick. I burned the entire morning sitting in Sara’s office, and only got called out twice – both times to unlock a door in the counselors’ room because someone forgot their key. At one point, Robin brought the counselors to talk to me about trying to get their campus to a 1:1 device ratio so they could test all the kids at once. I vehemently replied that we should instead be reducing the device count, and that testing everyone at once is a very bad idea. I’m still surprised when people are shocked to hear me say as much.

Nobody wanted to join me at Ruby Tuesday for another $5 salad bar, so I went by myself and just sat at the bar. It was a quick and quiet lunch, but not inside my head. A group of employees were mingling at the other end of the bar talking mad trash about how people had been coming in all day asking for John. John’s served my tables many times in the past. He is far and away one of the best servers I’ve ever had at any restaurant. He’s always courteous, professional, prompt, and most importantly conscious of what’s happening at the table. Even today, he stopped by to say hello, commenting that I wasn’t with my usual posse. Never once has he even suggested that we should ask for him by name, and I honestly don’t feel like that has anything to do with why people do so. If any of those employees spent half as much time hustling as leaning, maybe they’d have eager repeat customers.

After lunch, Allen drove me out to London so I could show him that he didn’t properly re-enroll a Chromebox after powerwashing it. I figured I had already burned half a day, so I might as well get a trip out of it. When we got back, I spent a little time at the shop before heading to the high school. I got a very little bit done. My Adobe form was printing unpredictably.

My evening flew by as usual. I went home for a little while before going to Walmart for some things. I needed cat food, and wanted to peruse for a while without someone nagging about it. It’s funny, because I used to always want someone to go with me, but oftentimes now it’s more peaceful just to go alone at my own pace. I picked up some cold fried chicken on a whim in case anyone was hungry, and headed up to Summer’s.

We ended the evening with some more Glee. There’s just something about that show that completely sucks me in emotionally.

So blame it on my ADD, baby.

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Form Over Function

Today went by really fast. I spent a ton of time editing a PDF form so I can print on top of my depot service paperwork, because I didn’t want to waste a whole sheet of paper for every repair the way Dale did before. It felt mostly pointless in the grand scheme of things, but it made me feel better until I realized how much of my life is wasted in moments like that.

Allen texted me for lunch, so I convinced him to try Linh so I could get some hot soup on a cold day. I actually finished my whole bowl, and he liked his spicy, saucy, fried chicken thing. I stopped by the house on the way back so I could put some packages inside. Then the afternoon was more or less wasted as well. Time has been getting away from me in a bad way.

When I got home, I did a full panel of tests on my shrimp tank’s water chemistry. After months of neglect, the parameters are still great. I’ve got a ton of algae that I can’t seem to control, and the worms have exploded as well. The plants I was growing really well have started to wither away a bit, and I’m not sure why. I may have to start dosing fertilizers.

Finally, my first laptop repair has been shipped off.

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Gettin’ Weepy

The girls had all region today, so I got up alone and had some salad for breakfast before heading home to clean up. I had to get Aimee’s laptop from the high school to her at the junior high, and ended up sitting and chatting with her for quite a while. By the time I left there, Summer had already left the concession stand, so I left and stopped by Ridgewood Brothers to pick up some smoked turkey. I must have clicked something on the iPad that made it not charge my credit card, so when I got back to the car and realized it, I ran back to pay Robert and he handed me a side of slaw to go with it.

I ate a little when I got home, then cleaned the vacuum cleaner so I could clean up the bedroom a bit. There’s still a ton of junk in there to sort through and discard, but at this rate that will always be the case. Eventually Summer got everyone home, so I went to pick her and Autumn up so we could go to Walmart. I volunteered to make burgers and Autumn wanted to pick up some snacks for Eaddie and herself while Summer and I were out with friends.

We dropped Autumn off and gathered everything up to head to John and Melissa’s. Travis was already there, and Veronica and her kids showed up a bit after that. We had a great time eating and drinking, and then tried to play some Magic: The Gathering until we gave up on teaching three new players and switching to Cards Against Humanity. Asher had brought it and wanted to play, but we refused until he could beat Travis at Magic. The kids ended up leaving to go to an escape room anyway, which made it all the more funny when they returned to us playing their game.

By the end of the night, Travis had gotten pretty weepy about everything, so we tried to sober him up enough just for us to take him home. As I walked him into his house, he seemed very concerned about the Dust from His Dark Materials. I did my best to reassure him, and locked him in his house so I could get home with Summer for some sleep.

I AM THE DARKNESS! I AM THE ONE WHO DUSTS!

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Icetown

It just kept getting colder and colder today. I got to call 911 to test the office phone system, which was mildly entertaining. Summer joined Ben, Zach, Gary, and me for $5 salads at Ruby Tuesday. Then I met Aimee after school so I could try and recover files and restore her son’s old laptop. I ended up staying pretty late working on a stupid Chrome issue on an old music department computer, and it was super cold when I got home.

Autumn had her Christmas concert, but I didn’t have the nerves to make it back out. I had a drink and just mellowed out at home until they finished, and then Summer came by and took us to Waffle House for a late dinner.

Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, diced, peppered, capped, topped, country.

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I’ll Never Forget About Larry

Summer had to work this morning, which allowed for me to sleep in a while. With Thanksgiving break nearly over, I let myself get a pretty slow start to the day. I had to get the girls from their friend’s house, but first I stopped by the Ridgewood Brothers to try and snag some brisket. Grant handed me a cube of it out the window as I approached, and it just melted in my mouth. I picked up a couple pounds along with some sides, picked up the girls, and took them home.

Summer got home just a bit after us, we ate, and then left the girls to clean house while we went shopping. My first stop was Bath & Body Works, where I dragged her around the store sniffing soaps. I had a coupon, a need for fancy foaming soaps, and a complete lack of shame for being the one that wanted to go shopping there.

Next we stopped at my house for just a moment before heading to Walmart for groceries and other shopping list things I needed. I ended up grabbing one of those Black Friday pressure washers that Julie was going on about, since they had a pallet of them left over. I wish we could have spent a little more time looking, but we had to get back before Harry got to the house.

When we got there, the girls were inside giggling about how he was driving up and down the road trying to find their house, rather than trying to help direct him to the place. Summer started cooking most of the meal, and I changed the oil for some sweet potato fries. The kids played the Switch a bit before wandering back through the house. Dinner was simple and good, though I was still pretty full from the late BBQ lunch.

We played a couple quick rounds of Stuff Happens and Uno before the girls settled in to watch The Conjuring. Eaddie was probably the most excited to watch a scary movie, but I knew the game. Harry ended up having to leave before the movie was over, so Autumn went to her room for the night while I helped Eaddie finish the movie. Once that was over, she beat me in some Mario Kart before awkwardly snuggling to some Luke Cage. She started to fall asleep in the middle of the second episode, so that was the end of the day.

Just trying to make up for lost time…

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Creative Methods of Procrastination

We didn’t have much of a meeting again this morning. I thought I was going to be sent off on my own to just work at the high school, but then Allen showed enough ineptitude that I took the opportunity to ride around with him for a while. He took me to the high school to take care of one urgent matter, and then we rode out to London to take a look at some audio equipment for a student. That was more or less a bust, but it got us nearly to lunch by the time we got back.

I suggested The 3D Cafe since I think I was the only person that had eaten there before. As we sat down I got an ocular migraine, so I just kind of quietly sat and ate whatever I could get stuck to my fork. I had the taco salad that seemed to be mostly grilled onions. I did get a piece of Allen’s fish that was pretty good. Out of three visits, I’ve been served chips and salsa one time, which was particularly odd to me because the table right next to us got some while we didn’t. The food was decent, but our server only came by like once after he got us settled in with our meals.

After lunch I went to the high school to work on some things. I wrapped up a really late day working on a stupid badge printer that kept me occupied for about three hours, then went home until Summer finished up with her day. I did get a worm trap in the mail, so I set it up hoping to catch some of the little guys that have taken over my shrimp tank.

On the way up to Summer’s, I got some chips and white cheddar bites from Zaxby’s to go along with whatever leftovers we could find for dinner. She showed up just after I did, and we ate and then watched a couple webisodes of some BSG stuff. Next up will be the TV movie Razer, which I wish we could have watched in order, but I guess this is fine too.

Why are computers awful?

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Babysitting the Runaways

Summer started her leadership retreat today, so I was left to mind the girls as they did their Sunday chores. I figured I’d let them sleep in a while first, so I had some cereal and hot tea, and played some Oxygen Not Included. When they finally did come out of their rooms, Autumn informed me that their father was coming to pick them up. There was an effort to maintain control. Eaddie at least got up and started cleaning the kitchen. I think Autumn cleaned her room, since she shut herself up in it until their father showed up.

I left right after they did, and went home to take care of my own neglected chores. I did a bunch of laundry and some vacuuming between peeping in on my little shrimplets. Finally something I could actually be proud of. They’ll never leave me.

Dinnertime eventually rolled around and I went to visit Mom. She was worried about Dad’s contraption to feed the semi-stray cats, because it had dumped food everywhere. I scooped up what I could and went inside to have a pork chop. Then I sat with her until Eaddie texted me wanting to know when I was coming back. They never said a single word to me all day, so I assumed they were still gone, but Autumn later told me they had been back for most of the evening.

With the girls off to bed for school tomorrow, I slid into a hot bath and studied some plans for Oxygen Not Included before eventually making it to bed myself.

There’s no time for better precedents.

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Downtime!

It’s been three days since my site at 000webhost was shut down for some unknown violation of their terms of service. I finally sent an email off to them to appeal the shutdown. I guess I’ll give them a couple days to respond before I try and migrate to a paid plan. Their free service has always been more than enough for me, and I figured it would be fine for the foreseeable future.

Not much else of note happened today. I went to Popeye’s for lunch with Allen and was reminded of the maddening inconsistency in the size of their tenders. After work I went to my parents’ house for grilled pork chops before coming home to clean house. I can’t let all these responsibilities keep slipping by. Maybe this is the year.

I can’t get no relief.

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Catching Death

Dead relatives seem to be going around at Summer’s shop. She got a call sometime in the night that lead to her having to work today, which meant that none of the many plans we had to choose from would come to fruition. I slept super late and got up to play with the shrimp some more. I managed to catch the ninth cherry and get it moved over, so now it’s just a waiting game to see if any others come out of the woodwork. They all seem to be getting along fine in the smaller tank though, and they’re much easier to find and count now.

I spent all afternoon sifting through my Google Drive and Photos to try and save some space, because evidently my 100GB HTC promotion runs out next month and I’ll either have to cut down what I’m storing online or pony up some cash for a storage plan. At least I still get free full-resolution uploads for having a Pixel.

Eventually I got cleaned up and went to Summer’s where she and Noah were settling in for some television. I made a couple salads, and we watched some Battlestar before bed.

If I could tuuuurrrn back time!