Tag: anger management

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Stop Buying Things You Don’t Need

I went straight to Oakland this morning for the first time this year, and got in just a little late. It felt warmer and more humid all day, which had me looking for an escape from my mask more often. I feel like the buildings need to be showing some solidarity with so many people stuck in them all day long without a break.

After running around a while and fixing what I could, I ended up back at the shop until lunch. I didn’t have a whole lot of really pressing stuff to work on, so it was finally a bit more relaxed. Our new guy, Jacob, has started reaching out with questions, but it’s a little odd since I haven’t really worked with him at all yet. He’s always just at the junior high by himself.

I went home for lunch and had some more leftovers, then took some to Summer since she wouldn’t get out for a break. Then it was back to Oakland for a bit longer. As I pulled up, Darla was unloading a big printer from her car, so I helped her bring it into the library. I don’t think she should be allowed to buy those things with any kind of district funds, since she’s one brick wall away from a giant copier, and across the hall from a multifunction color printer. There’s just nobody filtering that kind of stuff from happening, so we’re left stuck trying to decide how much we’ll support it. Imagine that, a lack of accountability.

I ended the day back at the shop, and it was just as quiet as it had been all day. I went home and just stayed in for the night. I was going to go vacuum the pool for my parents, but I thought it was going to rain. It certainly looked that way on the ride home. I guess that’ll be a job for tomorrow then.

But I waaaant it.

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Excessage

I don’t think I slept great this weekend, because I kept getting up out of bed last night as well. I didn’t want to let myself sleep in too late, but I just felt so tired. I cleaned up the last of the taco meat that Summer had, and then took Eaddie home with me as soon as she was ready.

She was supposed to go ride her bike to her friend’s house to work on some homework together, but she didn’t leave for a couple hours. I picked up a little bit in the other bedroom, then took a shower once she did leave. By the time I got out, Summer and Autumn had gotten what they needed from the grocery store and I met them at my parents’ house.

What was supposed to be some super simple grilled sausages for dinner ended up being pretty frustrating. First, about half of the zucchini I brought over fell right through the grill because Mom cut too much meat out of the middle of them and they slipped right through the grates. Then the new jalapeño cheddar sausages I wanted to try from Sam’s were super greasy and caught the whole grill on fire. Everything else was pretty burned after that. All the while, I had to hear Autumn in the background continue to be generally obtuse and uncooperative.

Summer got in the pool for a little bit on her own, but I was busy sweating over the fire. I didn’t get to swim until after we all ate outside. I think I’m learning that I simply don’t care for eating around round tables. With several exceptions, I tend to also become frustrated by having too much other stuff on the table when we’re eating. The sausages had way too much cheddar inside of them, and the cheese overpowered the rest of the flavor. By the time it was all over, I just wanted to make a lap in the pool to cool off. I just felt increasingly tired and aggravated all day long.

The girls went home to get ready for school. I stuck around for just a little bit before going home myself. I was sleepy enough to just go to bed, so I didn’t even risk staying up any later. I only got out for a couple minutes when Bác Vân called me over to get some egg rolls.

-Cap’n Crankypants

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Another Long Week

This morning already started out pretty rough, and I don’t expect things to get better for a while. I suppose it could be worse, and at least I enjoy what I do, and it provides above-average flexibility. Things stayed pretty quiet most of the morning, with everyone still struggling to keep their work order counts from growing any further. As with the past couple weeks, this morning went by really fast. For the first time in a while, nobody was interested in going out to eat, so I just went to SuperFast a little late to have a couple hot dogs with Summer during their Paint the Town Green and Gold celebration.

After we ate, I stopped by my house for a few minutes before continuing to Oakland. I wasn’t really there to close mass tickets, but instead spent some time troubleshooting a widespread print issue we’ve seen. I didn’t really get any results, unfortunately, so I’ll likely still be working on it some more tomorrow. I fussed a little about how much I’m doing, and Gary kind of snapped back that they could put someone else in my position, but there really isn’t anyone to place there that won’t need months of training just to be a little bit helpful. I think he sometimes forgets that he makes $11 grand more than what they want to pay me, and $8,000 more than what they “accidentally” signed my contract for this year.

Still, I was the last one to leave the office for the day. I did what I could, and at least for the time being, it’ll all still be there for me tomorrow. I went home to change, then went to the shop to pick up the canopy Summer borrowed from the Brothers, Ridgewood. The gate was locked when I arrived to return it, so I continued on to my parents’ house to pick at some leftovers for dinner.

I received a refurbished Dyson fan today, and though it’s far from the worst condition that I’ve ever seen in a refurb, it wasn’t at all good. Paint was rubbed off in several places, and the thing was filthy with the exception of a new filter. There was heavy dust and black, oily smudges all over the thing. I fired an email off to the manufacturer, and hopefully they’ll do something about it, otherwise it may just be returned.

As with most things here, the more you dig, the angrier you’ll be.

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Hate Heat

I woke up pretty early this morning and waited around until Eaddie was ready to go ride her bike. Then I brought her home with me so she could ride, but she ended up sitting in her room here for a couple hours before she left. I cleaned up and then had to run by SuperFast where Summer and her team were decorating for Paint the Town Green and Gold.

They wanted to paint a mural of a football field on their window, so I set up a projector and some paper towel that was thin enough for them to see the projected image on the other side. Eaddie and her friend Aaron rode their bikes there and helped a little bit before going on their way. I eventually left to try and help Dad with his pool pump issue, but he had given up for the moment.

Even being inside Summer’s shop, the heat sapped me and I felt gross again. I cooled down at home until Eaddie made it back home, and then we went back by the shop to see Summer’s progress. They were almost done, so Eaddie and I went on to my parents’ house for spring rolls. Summer met us there once she was finished, and we had dinner.

I hung around for a little while before coming home to wind down. I played tug-of-war with one of the girls that was trying to play music on her Google Home/Nest speaker at their house. It absolutely infuriates me that the stupid speakers are supposed to be able to identify who is talking to them, but there is no way for me to control who has access to my YouTube Music account. It shouldn’t let any of them play from my account, and it’s ruining my suggestions and causing a headache any time we happen to be listening to music at the same time.

It just makes me incredibly cranky.

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Dog and Pony

Today was full of meetings for me, so I hardly got anything done. First up was a meeting with Thomas and Gary about the Agile Mind sync I had been working on. Evidently Thomas was stressing over the number of work orders complaining about it, though most of it had been fixed already. I went in and immediately put him to rest with the knowledge that I had completed as much of that project as I could without any further input from their team.

The ocular migraine that I got the minute I walked into his office started to wane as I went back to the shop area to help Kyle with something. I spent a little time in my office, and then I had to go upstairs for a CPPC meeting where Karen had invited all classified staff. We had a decent crowd for a school day, and I don’t know if it spoke more about how involved people wanted to be, or how completely not busy and available people were to come hang out for two hours until lunch time. We had three people from the junior high office alone, so I’m sure they were super necessary staff.

The meeting went about as well as I expected, with the exception that it started as all meetings seem to do any more, with the new superintendent taking over the show and ineffectively communicating the purpose of what he was trying to accomplish. Judy was up front with us, and seemed to be on an exploratory mission more than anything. Once everyone else was done talking, Karen started going over the first page of titles that covered basically secretaries and clerks. Then the meeting was over, with absolutely nothing accomplished.

As everyone dispersed, Judy stopped me to mention that my contract was being rewritten. She said she saw my pay increase and assumed I had gotten a promotion. I let her know that based on the duties I was performing every day, I also assumed I had gotten a promotion. I told her I had no intention of signing a contract with a lower salary, and that if my pay was reduced before I signed one, they would have trouble. How much trouble will depend on how I’m feeling the day that it happens.

Back down in the shop, five of us went to Brangus for lunch. Greg spotted Dale coming in, so I popped out to wave him into our back room for a moment. When we got back to work, I did my best to help people as they came back to me. Then Judy came down to our dungeon to discuss our department’s salary schedule and the proposal Thomas submitted.

She confirmed that we were the only department to produce any kind of counter-proposal. I figure it’s not our problem if no other department can build a case for themselves, but they had better not drag us down. Of course, Gary shut down when Judy admitted that she hadn’t read our proposal completely, but I was feeling optimistic that she indicated she would likely just slap our proposal directly onto the second draft of the salary schedule and see where things go from there.

I stopped by to see Summer briefly at work, but she was busy and I headed on home. Eaddie had been there, but Autumn had already picked her up by the time I got home. I chose to spend another quiet night at home, and I’ll get up tomorrow to do it all over again until they don’t let me.

No sense in crying over your lack of proficiencies.

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A Real Jokester

I struggled to get out of bed an hour early today for the back-to-school breakfast. I’m pretty sure I was the first from our department there, but Greg walked in right behind me. We both expected them to be enforcing masks after the board meeting last night, but hardly a soul was masked. We got our food, which was probably the best I’ve had for the occasion, and found a seat right in front with Summer and Justin. The casserole was so good I had to go back for more, but it was okay because they didn’t have any other events or big raffles like previous years.

After breakfast, we headed over to the arts center for some quick training. Without Ben’s cyber security training, we just heard from a couple suits and then listened to Judy talk about FMLA before our OSHA training. I liked that guy the best just because he seemed like a cool, old guy.

We got back to the shop a bit before lunch, and they sent out the first draft of the proposed classified salary schedule. That, of course, sent everyone through the roof when they learned that our pay was lowered both at the base, and then significantly at the cap. I divulged that I had gotten a big raise, likely unintentionally, and was making more than Zach for the school year.

I was still full from breakfast, so I only ordered some chips and a shake when a group of us went to Slim Chickens for lunch. That left me pretty salty and dehydrated for an afternoon of crunching numbers, and then trying to find out why we were short so many new laptops for junior high students. It was just one clusterfuck after another, all day long.

After work, I went straight home and immediately had to start fighting sleep. My gut never quite recovered from the food from the day, but at least I was able to go to bed early.

Let the output reflect the input.

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All Right! All Right!

This whole week has been cooler, so it’s been a different bike every day. Tammy commented on it and asked how many I had, and I had to explain that it’s really a math problem of n-1, where n is the number of motorcycles that I want. Otherwise, it’s that time of year when I don’t really even remember what I worked on. I did have to go to the middle school to scan some Chromebooks because Josh didn’t have a list of serial numbers for me. I’m just now remembering that I never actually got those imported into the library system.

Lunch was a treat, because Gary, Greg, Zach, and I went to Brangus to eat, and the guy that always greets us took care of our meals on our way out. We rummaged for some cash to leave for a tip, and we were all fat and happy. Gary and Greg had to run some food I ordered for Brody over to him at the high school during their handout, and it was a mostly quiet afternoon for me back at the shop.

After work, Julie called as I was just getting home to change. Then Mom called to tell me the same thing – that Bác Vân thought I slapped Julie, even though Julie came over to pick up Dad’s phone from me while we were standing in the driveway talking. We all kind of laughed about it, and as Mom left the call, I continued to retell the whole story to Julie.

It didn’t take long for her to psychoanalyze my actions and start pointing fingers about our childhood, and I just stressed to keep cool for the hour as our conversation degraded into personal attacks about mistakes that I’ve made in my life. I try to live pretty openly, blog and all, and I’ve done what I can to make peace with the past, but I really don’t know what I can do for her to let things go. At some point you have to just move on, but instead we always end up in an argument in which she’s constantly moving the target so that we can never get anywhere. I’ve tried responding, I’ve tried just shutting up, and the whole conversation is designed for me to fail.

I make it a point to surround myself with people that think very differently so that I can learn about their viewpoints and make my own assessments, but there’s never any ground given with Julie. It basically always devolves into something akin to name-calling, where she insists that I’m an arrogant piece of shit that thinks he’s always right, and she’s irrefutable because she only speaks in facts. It’s the most maddening waste of time, but I put up with it because for some reason I think maybe she’ll eventually find whatever the hell she’s looking for.

When she finally gave up screaming at me, I went in to Summer’s house to find that neither of the girls were there. Eaddie was at band late, and their grandmother was slow to pick her up, so Summer just met them at the gym and brought them home to gather their things. Then we went to my parents’ house for shrimp noodle soup and a swim.

The water was pretty cool after Dad used the fountains overnight, so we didn’t stay in the water too late. Eventually we made it home and the girls all went to bed while I aired up some bicycle tires for them.

Not keeping a list is not the same as remembering everything but never writing it down.

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The Return of Reason

Greg wanted a ride from Phil Wright this morning, but changed his mind when they wouldn’t open the door until eight. We went to work instead, and then left there shortly after eight to drop his truck off. I spent the rest of the day tinkering and breaking things, only to get them working well enough again before lunch.

On the way to the dealership in the morning, I noticed The Gunslingin’ Burger was putting signs out for a year anniversary special, so Gary, Brody, Josh, and I went there for lunch. The food was pretty good, but the fact that the $10+ “combo meal” doesn’t come with a drink is still stupid. It has also become painfully obvious that the place is run by people with zero experience running a restaurant, and I think a little experience would go a long way. The recipes are great. It even has certain unique polish and is obviously thoughtfully put together. It just lacks, from what we could tell, a little common sense.

The afternoon went by slowly, being a full day for the first time in weeks. Then I went home for a bit before having to pick up the girls to go get Eaddie from the airport. Summer initially thought the plane landed around 10 in the morning, but it was actually in the evening. On top of that, it was delayed a bit.

We stopped in Conway at Golden Corral for dinner. Autumn ate a frustrating plate of shitzza and macaroni and cheese. I should have expected that, but then I brought up that she should write letters apologizing for wasting the sheriff’s department’s time this weekend, and all I could do was bury the rage deep down inside from her response. She insisted that it wasn’t a waste of time and that she called them for a reason. No lessons have been learned, and I’m spending more and more of my waking hours coming up with more creative punishments and monitoring solutions.

We arrived at the airport about an hour and a half early, so we sat in the car on our phones. Fortunately it was super nice outside, so I just rolled the windows down and kicked back. Autumn managed to get in a bit of a nap in the back seat. When the plane arrived, the airport was shut down enough that Summer couldn’t get a parent pass to meet Eaddie at the gate, so we just waited together at the main exit. We gathered bags and headed straight home.

Eaddie said she didn’t have a great time. I could relate. I’m glad she’s back.

Cruel and unusual. You know, like riding the bus with the peasants.

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DiSLAPpointing

I got up this morning and warmed up some leftovers for breakfast. Summer was watching TV, and Autumn was supposed to be mowing the lawn after putting it off for two weeks since Eaddie’s been gone, plus who knows how much time since it was last mowed. I can’t even really remember what happened first, but I’m pretty sure she did at least go out to get started without too much protest. She had hardly gotten anywhere with it before things quickly escalated though.

At some point, Autumn came back in and just pitched an absolute fit about mowing. We weren’t having any of it, because we had no sympathy for a procrastinator and her woes. Eventually Autumn started back talking enough that I dropped my bowl of food and got in her face. She pulled her best “come at me bro,” and I didn’t waste any time.

After hearing about her blow up at Summer so many times, and even being present for a few, I thought slapping her across her face would feel better. I absolutely lost my shit and got screaming mad in her face. She still didn’t go back outside immediately, but she eventually made it out and the mower started up again.

I should have suspected something when I heard the mower stop, but eventually Summer walked by and said we should get dressed because the cops were on the way. Evidently Autumn phoned an officer from her Explorers program, who either felt compelled or was possibly even required to report the incident. I was already super torn up by the incident, but this just served to add embarrassment to the things I was feeling.

Two deputies from the county sheriff’s office pulled up as Autumn stood out in the sun waiting for them. They laughed when Summer recalled how Autumn argued she wasn’t responsible for keeping the lawn mowed because her name wasn’t on the lease. The visit was short and they recommended, I suspect out of protocol, that we look into filing a FINS petition. Looking into it just briefly, I’m not sure that’s the best path for us. I think we’d be better prepared to tighten our own leash, rather than possibly give up control to any part of the system.

When we all came back inside, Autumn refused to give up her phone and we had to physically wrestle it out of her hands while avoiding all manner of biting, pinching, and scratching. Being the stubborn parent that I am, we of course won the battle and she went back outside to continue mowing after a brief cooldown period.

While she was out continuing to mow, Summer called Nick and tried to explain the situation to him. I chose to open up, possibly in vain, and was basically scolded for laying hands on “one of his girls.” I let him speak his mind and awaited his arrival, of course after finishing up at work and running his necessary errands.

When Autumn finished up in the backyard, she came back in just as normal as could be. She warmed up some food and sat down at the table with us to eat. Everything was just fine, as though nothing had ever happened. She went back out to finish mowing after her break, and eventually Nick showed up and took the lawn mower away from her for a few passes as she came in for some water. We suggested she should go back out and finish herself since it was her responsibility, and she complied.

Once the lawn was done, everyone came in and we sat down for a surprisingly calm chat. I really suspected to have to go on the defence at least to some degree, but his tone seemed to change immediately after I told him that she had put off mowing for two weeks. Autumn expressed at least some regret, and I let Nick say anything he wanted to say. He ended up not taking her home with him because not having her own car to go to work the next day was too much of an inconvenience for him.

Summer went to the gym while Autumn and I had some leftovers for dinner. Then we came back to my house for the evening. Autumn went straight to bed after expressing some desire to watch a movie. When Summer finally made it, we curled up on the couch and watched most of a standup special on Netflix. Then it was off to bed.

I just wanted to make more eggs…

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Overtaken by My Own Shadow

It was a quiet, brainy day at work today. I made some progress, but it was slower than I would have liked. I didn’t get distracted much, but I did get frustrated a couple times with others pulling my attention, which I’m sure is why Gary is so grumpy most of the time.

Brody wanted to go to Fat Daddy’s in London, but they were evidently closed due to staffing issues. The same went for Zaxby’s. Slim Chickens was a solid win today with the salad I got, and then we dropped off some strips for Summer, who was stuck in the pit all day.

I left near quitting time today and went by the shop to order some new tires for the Murano before going up to Summer’s to heat up her lasagna. I made it about halfway to her house before I realized I didn’t have keys to get in because I was on the Shadow, so I ran back home to change and get the keys.

As I came back outside, I hopped on the bike and started to pull away, only barely remembering to get the keys. I stood up to get off and immediately lost all balance due to the low, heavy nature of the bike. I had forgotten that I already lifted the kickstand, so the bike tumbled over on top of me and threw me to the ground. I avoided any major damage, but the handlebar controls and mirrors got a bit out of whack. The handlebars themselves were still bent from before I got the bike, so the only new “damage” was to the rear, left turn signal that now rattles from something being broken off inside it.

I finally made it up to Summer’s with bruised palms, and heated up the lasagna and baked some garlic bread. She and Autumn both made it home from work and we ate. Then Summer had to tend to some work business as we waited for the scattered showers to wane enough for me to make it back home for the evening.

I tried to pick up a little, and ended up on a trip down Memory Lane when I found a bunch of folders from my time at NEW. Then I went to bed as hastily as I could, since someone decided that working at 6am tomorrow will be fun when moving some old laptops around at the junior high. At least by then it will have reached the day’s low of 74º.

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